Maybe She Wouldn't Be Gone
by fangirltothemax
Summary: Addison and Derek have a fifteen year old daughter, Tessa. When she visits the hospital one day, their lives change forever. Set in S11, following the plot.
1. Chapter 1

Tessa Adrianne Montgomery Shepherd rolled out of bed at promptly 9 A.M. The fifteen year old turned on her music, cranking the volume up so loud, the house started to shake. Tessa threw her dark hair into a messy bun before jumping into the scalding hot shower. That was the thing about Tessa. Everything was done to the max. After her shower, Tessa began to get dressed for the day. She paired a well worn pair of capris that she rolled up with her favorite long sleeved Yale tee shirt she'd stolen from her mother. Her practically unmanageable curly brown hair, so dark that was almost black, was wrestled into a frizzy side braid that ended at her elbow. Tessa slipped on her high-top converse before grabbing her eternally packed knapsack before strolling downstairs of her Seattle home, humming softly.

When she reached the kitchen, she noticed two post-it notes stuck to the marble counter. The first one she picked up was obviously written by her mother, her elegant, feminine handwriting informed her that there had been an emergency with a patient and Addison had rushed off to the hospital. The story of her life. The second note was from her father, he'd scheduled a craniotomy at 7 A.M. Derek had left before the sun had risen. Tessa knew that her parents loved very much. Her parents made sure of it. They couldn't help that they were world-class surgeons. In fact, she was quite proud of all of their accomplishments. She'd learned at an early age that the patients come first. It was never something Derek or Addison had said, but the message was clear to her. Tessa hadn't been born at the most opportune time, with both of her parents going through their first years as interns; there had been little time to raise a child.

Somehow, they made it work. Addison used to joke that she'd used Tessa to practice on when she was an infant. She'd said having her own baby to take care of was the reason she became the world-class surgeon she is. Tessa almost felt bad for how much stress her parents must have been under during that time. Then again, it wasn't her fault. The hospital was only a seven minute walk from the Montgomery- Shepherd household. The best part of living in Seattle was that there was a coffee shop on every corner. Tessa's favorite Starbucks was smack dab in the middle of her route to the hospital. Her morning got even better when she saw there wasn't a line leading up to the cashier. The cute barista behind the counter immediately began flirting with Tessa, and she shamelessly flirted back. The two had been dancing on the thin line of friendliness and flirtation since she got out of school three weeks ago. Even if she wasn't going to the hospital, she always stopped by to grab her daily caffeine fix from him. "There ya go, Tessa. Caramel frappucino with extra caramel crunches. I threw in a chocolate croissant on the house."

The blue eyed hottie winked at her when he handed her order, hoping to receive a little for giving a lot. Tessa gave him her brightest and sweetest smile before walking towards the door. Just before she went back out in the rain, she turned and said, "Thanks Jordan. You're the best!" She blew him a kiss and swiftly walked out. Maybe if she hadn't been enjoying the coffee and pastry and memory of the cute boy, she would have noticed the man following her out.

The lobby of Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital welcomed her like a second home. She had grown up here since her father had fled from New York when she was twelve. Tessa referred to that night as the Night of Bad Choices, since that seemed to be the only choices made that night.

* * *

 _Tessa had spent the evening with her father at the movies and pizza place. Addison had claimed to have the world's worst headache and had encouraged them to have a daddy/daughter date night. Tessa couldn't wait to get home and give her mother a play by play of the evening. She had rushed upstairs to parent's bedroom. Every cell in her body froze at the sight of her mother and her adored Uncle Mark together on Derek and Addison's bed. Tessa must've made a strangled sound, though she didn't recall doing so, because both naked adults glanced up at the open doorway. Addison shoved Mark off of her body, and struggled to pull on her robe. She began apologizing and tried getting out of the bed to explain. Derek stood behind his daughter, stone faced. He picked up the child and moved swiftly to Tessa's bedroom. He sat his daughter down on her bed and she crawled to the corner where the bed met the wall, hugging her stuffed owl Heddie to her. Derek pulled out a suitcase from the little girl's closet and began throwing her clothes in it. Addison came flying in, tears rolling down her face. "Derek, Derek please give me a chance to explain! Derek I'm so, so sorry!"_

 _Addison grabbed frantically at her husband's arms, but Derek just ignored her. As if she just noticed what he was doing, her voice raised an octave and her attempts to stop Derek became even more frantic._

" _Derek, you can't take her from me! Please, Derek! You can't take my baby away from me. I am her mother!"_

 _Derek scoffed at this, finally acknowledging his wife's presence. "Some mother. Screwing her father's best friend where a twelve year old can see? That's great parenting."_

 _Addison raked her fingers through flaming hair. "She wasn't supposed to see that Derek. You know that. You know that I would never do anything to hurt my daughter."_

 _Derek turned with a disbelieving expression on his face. "She wasn't supposed to see that, Addison? Then why was the door wide open, huh? And what about me? You'd never do anything to hurt her, but I'm free game? You didn't think it would hurt to see my wife and my best friend together?"_

 _Addison suddenly stopped crying, her green eyes becoming as hard as the stone they resembled. "Maybe if you acted like you actually liked me and wanted to spend time with me, none of this would have happened."_

 _Nobody spoke as Derek zipped the suitcase. Tessa had been trying to disappear through the wall during the ordeal. The little girl had pressed her hands over her ears, attempting to block out the sound of her parent's fight. She closed her eyes tightly, but the tears were still running down her face. A sob escaped her and suddenly both parents noticed the child in the corner. Both of their hearts broke at the sight of Tessa so upset. Addison instinctively reached out to comfort Tessa, but Derek shot forward, scooping up his daughter and pushing past his wife. Tessa wrapped her slim arms around Derek's neck as they walked down the stairs and out the door. She watched her mother break down on the front steps, the rain washing away her tears._

* * *

Tessa hated to think about how her family ended up in Seattle, or the six months after they'd gotten there. As far as she was concerned, that period of time never even happened. She strolled up to the nurse's station and asked if either Shepherd was available. When she was distractedly informed that both of her parents were in surgery, Tessa decided to check the surgical board to see which one of her rock star parents would get out of the OR first. She sipped her coffee thoughtfully as she compared the surgeries scheduled for the day. Tessa jumped when a voice at her ear said, "Planning which surgery you're going to sneak in and watch?"

Tessa punched Alex Karev in his shoulder. "It's way too early in the day to be such an ass, Karev." The PEDS surgeon rubbed his shoulder with a pout. "It's 9:30! And I'm not being an ass. What are you even doing here? It's summer! Shouldn't you be buried deep under the covers in bed till noon?" The teenager shrugged and smiled cheerily. "I like being at the hospital. It is too quiet at home all by myself. I need the noise. And actually, I was checking to see which one of my ever-busy parents would be getting out of surgery first. Looks like Mom will finish with an emergency c-section before Dad will finish with his craniotomy. I'll be heading to her office, then."

As she walked towards the stairwell she heard Karev say, "Whatever, McPrincess." Tessa climbed the two flights of stairs between the surgical floor and her mother's office eagerly. She was just passing the on-call room closest to the stairwell when she was yanked in.

Addison Montgomery-Shepherd rolled her shoulders as she stepped out of the OR an hour and a half later than planned. The surgery had initially gone smoothly, both babies delivered safely. Then Addison noticed a bleed in the patient's uterus that her intern had failed to note. It had taken longer to locate the source of the bleed and repair the damage. The famous surgeon stood at the nurse's station checking over another patient's chart when Alex Karev appeared. "Did you just get out of surgery?" Addison nodded distractedly. "So, I guess you haven't been by your office then?"

Addison murmured no; focus still on the chart in her hand. "It's just that McPrincess got here two hours ago. Said she'd wait for you in your office. But, she might've gone to Derek's office by now." At the mention of her daughter, Addison looked up.

"I didn't think she was coming in today. Thanks, Alex." She hurried to her office, eager to see Tessa. She hadn't her daughter-awake, that is- in two days. She'd briefly checked on her last night around 1. Sometimes, Addison would go three or four days without seeing Tessa. The guilt from those periods lasted forever. The red head was steps away from her office when her pager went off, signaling an emergency. She'd have to see Tessa later. Eight hours, three crash deliveries, and one c-section later, Addison dragged herself into her office. She slumped at her desk, taking a moment to rest her eyes. Suddenly she remembered Tessa was supposed to be in her. But, that was ten hours ago. A quick check of her desk showed no note from her daughter letting her know she went home. Tessa always left a note.

"Must be with Derek." She concluded a loud. Then, as if summoned, Derek stuck his head in. "What must be with me?" Addison smiled at the sight of her disheveled husband. "Our lovely child."

Derek's unruly eyebrows quirked in confusion. Tessa's here? I haven't seen her all day." Addison's stomach clenched apprehensively. She pulled her phone out of her coat pocket and dialed her daughter's speed dial. Voicemail. "That's odd. Alex told me was in the hospital this morning. Said she was waiting in my office for me." Derek shrugged. "Must've gone home when we took too long."

Addison shook her head." Tessa know s to leave a note on my desk if she leaves. She also knows to always answer our calls." Her husband rolled his eyes at her worry.

"Addie, she's probably at home scavenging for food and waiting on us."

Addison ignored her husband and hurried to the nurse's station right outside. "Have you seen my daughter at all today?" When the young nurse shook her head, Addison turned back to her husband. "Something feels wrong, Derek." Before the neurosurgeon could respond, Addison whipped her phone out and redialed her daughter. The floor was eerily quiet and both parents were shocked to hear their daughter's ringtone coming from the on-call room.

The red head rushed over and pushed the door open. Tessa's ratty knapsack was at the foot of the bunk. She ripped the blankets covering all the beds off, but no other sign let her know Tessa had been there. Her perfectly manicured hand flew to her mouth as began to piece things together. She turned back to yell at Derek to call the police, but something caught her eye before she could speak. There was a dent on the frame of the bed, and a smear of blood. It would have taken something incredibly hard to dent the metal. Something like her little girl's skull.


	2. A storm brewing

A search for the missing girl began immediately. Addison and Derek called the police, who said there was nothing they could do until Tessa had been missing for 24 hours at least. Addison wasn't going to let her daughter be missing that long. She'd sent Derek home, hoping that Tessa had just forgotten the rules and was waiting for them, safe and sound. She wasn't. Security checked the cameras on every floor and called the Shepherds at once. Addison had to hold in a scream at the sight of her daughter being jerked into the on-call room. Not three minutes later, her limp body was being supported by a man in a black hoodie that unfortunately covered his face as he dragged her into the stairwell.

Derek called the police again, telling them that Tessa had been kidnapped and that they had proof. When the police arrived, they assured the distraught parents they would do everything they could to locate their daughter. Derek held his wife as she cried soundlessly into his shoulder. He tried to comfort as best he could, being just as upset as she was. The whole hospital was put on lockdown as the police searched for Tessa. Amelia received an emergency page from Addison and hurried to her best friend's office, not for one second thinking that her missing niece was the cause of the lockdown. As Amelia heard the news about her beloved niece, a large clap of thunder signaled a storm brewing. She and Addison sat on the neonatal surgeon's couch, too shocked to speak.

It only took the police a little more than an hour to clear the hospital, basement to roof. The on-call room had been taped off, a team of people dusting for prints and hunting for microscopic evidence. Amelia had refused to leave Addison's side as the police questioned her. They hadn't asked much; what Tessa had been wearing when she left the house, if she had been feeling alright. Addison was ashamed to admit she hadn't seen her daughter in almost three days, because of how busy she'd been at work. She had texted and called her daughter to check on her while at work and always received a response. A crinkled photo of a six year old, gapped tooth Tessa was clutched in Addison's hand. She kept the picture in her breast coat pocket, liked she promised her daughter that she would. It hadn't moved since Tessa had slipped it there nine years ago. Guilt coursed through her veins. Her baby girl had been missing for hours and she hadn't known. What kind of mother couldn't tell when her child was in danger? A fresh wave of tears threatened to spill down her cheeks as memories flooded her brain. No, that was enough crying. Addison wasn't going to find her daughter if she just sat around weeping. No, that was enough.

Derek was currently being interviewed by the lead detectives on his daughter's case. He'd given them a recent picture he kept in his office. When the detectives asked him if he noticed if anything had been bothering Tessa lately, his mouth tasted bitter as he told them he hadn't been home enough to know. Karev came flying into Addison's office, anger masking his handsome features. Alex had been an emergency surgery all afternoon and evening; he had missed all the excitement. "What the hell is going on? Why are the cops here? Please tell me I did not just here Derek say that Tessa is missing. Addison!"

Amelia stood in front of Addison, as if trying to physically defend her friend from Alex's onslaught of harsh questions. "Calm down, Karev. Right now. Addie doesn't need to be confronted at the moment."

Karev took a deep breath and nodded to let Amelia know he was calm. "Please tell me what's going on, Amelia." The young woman rubbed her hands together anxiously before saying, "Somebody took Tessa this morning, Alex. Around 9:45."

The man's face went slack. "9:45? Are you sure it was then?" At Amelia's nod, Karev shook his in disbelief. "I had just talked to her. I teased her about sneaking in to a surgery. Sh-She was fine. Happy."

Addison suddenly awoke from her fog and jumped up to face Alex. "You saw her? Was there someone following her?" Hope blossomed in Addison's chest; maybe Karev had seen the man who took Tessa. Maybe she could be home safe and sound before morning! The small bloom of hope shriveled up and died at the look on Karev's face. He hadn't seen.

Derek shuffled in, face pale. He grabbed his wife's arm and pulled her to him. They stood like that for a moment, taking in each other's pain. Addison pulled back first, trying desperately not to burst into tears again. "Wh-What did the police say?"

Derek shook his head dejectedly. "Not much. They took all the security tapes to see if they could get a better look of the guy's face. They'll call if there's a lead." He paused, looking at his wife's heartbroken face. "They'll find her, Addie. We're going to get our daughter back."

Addison nodded, already beginning to feel numb again. Derek and Addison left to go home; both were fighting off offers of people coming to stay with them. Derek held her close as they walked home. Walking into an empty and dark house was just as painful as realizing Tessa was missing. If Tessa was home before her parents, the house would be full of noise and light. Music blaring and practically every light in the house on. Tessa hated the quiet and being alone. Sometimes if their daughter knew that either of her parents had a rough day, there would be a large dish of spaghetti (the only dish Tessa knew how to make) sitting on the table. Addison robotically got into the shower, trying to wash the events of the day off of her. She got out only after there wasn't a drop of hot water left to join her husband in bed, though she doubted she would get one wink of sleep. Eventually she did drift off, memories of her beautiful daughter leading her into a deep sleep.

* * *

 _A four year old Tessa wandered aimlessly down the hall. She had a stuffed white owl held close to her chest. Thunder boomed outside the New York brownstone, and flash of lightning caught the little girl's attention. She tiptoed down the steps quickly and stood at the front door. The frosted glass made it difficult to see the storm. Tessa just had to see it. She loved storms. Reaching for the doorknob on her tiptoes, The green eyed girl quietly opened the door._

 _Her little arms uncrossed over her chest and the Heddie the Owl fell to the wet landing, her owner completely memorized by the rain falling in front of her face. She took a tentative step forward and stuck out her little hand, delighted by the cold rain. Upstairs tucked into a warm bed, Addison and Derek slept soundly. A particularly violent clap of thunder startled Addison awake. She lay there for a minute, listening to the storm pound on the city around her. The young woman swung her legs out of bed quietly, so not to disturb her sleeping husband. Wrapping a silk robe around her slim frame, Addison wandered down the hall to check on her daughter. As she walked past the staircase, a bright bolt of lightning caught her attention._

 _She froze, puzzled at the sight of her front door wide open. Then, her eyes landed on the little form standing on the landing. Realizing it was Tessa, Addison hurried down the steps and to her daughter. Tessa was almost on the first step, her dark air drenched. Addison fell to her knees and spun her daughter around quickly. Tessa looked surprised to see her mother, but surprise quickly turned to happiness. "Hi Mommy! Look it's raining!" ignoring the little girl's excitement, Addison grabbed Tessa's shoulders tightly._

" _What the hell are you doing out here, Tessa? It's pouring." Tessa gave her a 'duh' look. "I know it's raining, Mommy. I wanted to feel it." Addison stared at her daughter in disbelief. Her daughter wanted to feel the rain? The young mother noticed her daughter trembling under her thin pajamas. "Oh, Sweetheart you're freezing. Let's go back inside okay?"_

 _Addison picked up Tessa and settled her on her hip. The little girl let out a small noise as her mother adjusted her. "What's wrong, baby?" Tessa sniffled, finally realizing how cold and tired she was. "I dropped Heddie, Mommy. Now she's all wet and dirty." Addison sighed but bent down carefully to pick up the stuffed animal. "She'll be okay, Tessa. I'll put her in the washing machine and Heddie will be nice and clean again in the morning."_

 _Tessa nodded and rested her little head on Addison's shoulder. Mother and daughter made their way to the laundry room and Addison put the animal into the washing machine before setting it to the gentlest cycle. The little girl's eyes fluttered as she and Addison climbed back up the stairs to Tessa's room. Addison sat Tessa down on her Big Girl bed as she pulled out a fresh pair of pjs. "Mommy, I like the rain. It makes everything look pretty."_

 _Addison smiled softly at her daughter as she redressed her. "Yes it does. But that doesn't mean you can leave the house without anyone knowing to see the rain, babe. What if you had slipped and hurt yourself? Daddy and I wouldn't have known till this morning and who knows what could've happened to you in that time?"_

 _Tessa played with the edge of her Disney princess sheets, avoiding her mother's eyes. "I'm sorry." Tessa felt the bed dip as her mother sat beside her. She nestled into Addison's side, worn out from her late night adventure. "It's okay, Tess. You need to get some sleep. We'll talk more in the morning." Addison got up and kissed Tessa's forehead. "I love you, baby girl." Tessa murmured, "I love you too, Mommy."_

 _Addison sighed as she changed her own soiled pajamas and climbed back into bed. Derek groaned at the movement before mumbling "what's going on?" His wife shook her head, emerald eyes already closed. "I'll tell you in the morning. We've got a wonderfully weird kid, Derek."_


	3. New Home

Tessa jolted awake. Even though she wasn't fully conscious, she could immediately sense something was wrong. Her heart thumped in panic. A quiet moan escaped her chapped lips as she came to. Her back was against a rough dirt wall, her legs stretched out in front of her. Tessa's thin wrists were bound together with a rough rope, knotted together too many times to count. Her ankles were in the same condition. It was pitch black; her eyes couldn't find even a pinpoint of light to adjust to. Her memory was a foggy haze of shapes and colors. The last thing she could definitively remember was talking to Dr. Karev at the hospital, and deciding to go somewhere… her mother's office! Tessa had been almost there when… when… someone grabber her? Could that be right? Searching her mind for the hidden memories gave the young girl a massive headache. She groaned in misery. How did she end up here? And where exactly _was_ here? She struggled in vain against her bonds, succeeding only in making her joined limbs raw.

"Wiggle away. You can't break the ropes." A hoarse voice informed her dryly from somewhere in her prison. "Who are you?" a scoff rang out in the darkness. "I'm nobody. But, I am serious about the rope. You can't break it. Besides, he'll take it off soon; then you'll get upgraded to a shiny chain around your ankle just like me."

Tessa tried to wrap her tired brain around her informant's advice. "Where are we? What happened to me?" The voice took on a more serious tone. "We're in a basement. We're in a basement under a remote cabin in the mountains." Tessa nodded, encouraging the girl to continue, and then realized she couldn't see. "Ar- are we still in Washington?"

"Yes." Tessa sat in silence. If she was still in Washington, then she still had a high chance of being found. Then again, she had watched a documentary on a kidnapped girl taken only 60 miles away and not being found for 18 years. No, she couldn't think like that. She had to stay positive. As her mind churned over the new information it had been given, Tessa realized how sore her body was, how cold she was. She rubbed her arms back and forth awkwardly, the realization that she was only wearing her bra and panties hitting her like cold water. "What happened to me? Where are my clothes?"

The voice sighed. There was a sound of shuffling, then a cold hand on Tessa's bare leg. She jumped, then relaxed. "Robert- that's who brought you here- has been watching you for weeks. Been following you to the hospital, home, anywhere you went. He learned your routine. Four days ago, he went to Seattle, this time prepared to… bring you back. He thought you were beautiful and perfect. You- you're only wearing your underwear and probably really sore because he had to… test you out. To make sure he really wanted you."

Tessa gasped for breath, closing her eyes to fight back tears. "He raped me?" The ever present darkness and smothering silence answered her question. "Oh my God. Why can't I remember that?"

The voice spoke again, this time softer. "He drugged you. It's a long drive and he had to make sure that you wouldn't wake up." When a sniffle broke the silence, the comforting tone continued with, "Hey, it's okay. I know this is hard, but you'll get used to it."

Tessa threw the darkness a hopeless look. "How can anyone possibly get used to that and still be capable of living?" Her comforter's voice turned hard and bitter. "You do what you have to do to survive."

Tessa was done getting to know about her new turned her questioning back to her apparent cellmate. "Who are you? And don't you dare say nobody this time. And how do you know so much about me?"

A snort echoed in the darkness. "Man, you never run out of questions, do you? Fine. I'm Chloe. Before you ask what I look like, you'll see me soon enough." Chloe sighed again, and Tessa was beginning to take it personal. "I've been here forever. I've seen a dozen girls go through the exact thing you are. It never changes. I'm sure you have some more questions rolling around in that head of yours, so spit them out."

Tessa licked her lips, desperate for some water. "So how much about me do you know? You seem pretty informed. Oh, and how do you know so much?"

A chain rattled, and Tessa assumed Chloe was trying to get more comfortable, but her hand didn't leave Tessa's leg. "I know that you're name is Tessa, and that both of your parents are surgeons. The top surgeons in their field. I know that you spend most of the day alone, and go to Seattle Prep High School."

"Did he have to run my life by you or something?" Tessa couldn't keep the sarcasm out of her voice. She was annoyed that Chloe knew so much about her while Tessa was in the dark-literally. "Sort of. Robert thought you were perfect. He asked me if you were worth the trouble."

"Perfect for what?"

"To be his new slave."

* * *

Their daughter had been missing for two days. It was like a light had been blown out of the Shepherd's lives. Addison hardly moved from the bed. If Derek didn't make her go down to the kitchen to eat, she would've starved. Amelia had taken to sleeping on the couch, trying to help her brother and sister-in-law any way she could.

The police hadn't done much. There wasn't much for them to do. They had searched the teenager's computer and phone records, turning up nothing out of the ordinary. The theory that she had simply run away was shot down by Addison quickly.

"My daughter did not run away. She was perfectly happy. I may not have been home much, but I was around enough to know that. Does this mean you have no leads?"

The two detectives sat uncomfortably in the Shepherd's living room. One of them, (Addison hadn't bothered to remember their names) cleared his throat. "Ma'am, I promise we are doing everything in our power to find your daughter. We've only just started gathering information." At Addison's sharp glare, he sighed. "But, no. we do not currently have any leads."

From the doorway, Derek shook his head in disbelief. "Our daughter has been missing for 48 hours. We have no idea if our child is even alive. But you can sit there and tell me you have no leads. Find some goddamned leads!"

Amelia moved to comfort her older brother, but he backed away. Derek flew out the front door and out into the rainy twilight. Amelia watched her brother's retreating figure as she spoke. "I'm sure you're doing your best, but it's not good enough. I know we just seem like a bunch of distraught family members screaming at you. But Tessa is the center of this family's universe. I have three sisters and countless nieces and nephews, but this little girl is different. She is like sunshine on the coldest, grayest winter day. Without her, we will all fall apart."

* * *

So, here ya go! Sorry it's kind of short, but I didn't want to give too much away about Tessa's kidnapping. I love writing flashbacks and would like to put one in every chapter. How would you guys feel about that? Thank you so much for all of the support!


	4. Jenny and Violet

Tessa was numb. She was a slave. Three days ago, she had been a happy teenager with parents who loved her and worked too much. Now, she was someone's slave. She hadn't even realized she was crying until she felt a teardrop hit her thigh. "I want to go home." It was the only thing she could think about. All she wanted was for her mother to come barging in and wake her from this nightmare. Her mind still couldn't wrap itself around the fact that this was reality. Chloe threw an arm around the distressed girl's shoulders. "I know you do, but you can't. You have to start thinking about this being home now. It's hard now, but soon you'll forget about all this pain."

Tessa suppressed a scream. "How can I possibly think of a dirty, dark basement where I am imprisoned as a slave as home? And why have there been so many girls here before me?" Chloe didn't have a chance to respond. From somewhere in front of the room, there came a loud clank, followed by a series of loud clicks. Then, a large door opened, allowing in a flood of bright light that made Tessa cringe against Chloe. Robert had arrived.

His silhouette was large, and Tessa was immediately slick with sweat from fear. The bulky shape lumbered closer, then an arm reached up. More light flooded Tessa's vision. She finally got her first look of prison, cellmate, and C.O. the basement was small, barely 12 feet long, maybe eight feet wide and tall. There was a single naked light bulb with a string hanging from it. Two plain mattresses were pushed against the opposite walls. The girls were huddled against the wall directly across from the door. When Tessa looked past the man in front of her, she could see a flight of stairs leading up from the basement. Tessa turned her eyes to her right, desperate to get a finally to see her.

Chloe had dirty blonde hair that landed unevenly at her shoulders. Her eyes were a dark brown, and a small, upturned nose sat above chapped lips that were curved into a smile. Chloe had the privilege of wearing clothes, though it wasn't much. A red cotton tank top and tiny blue cotton shorts were all she had on. Except for the cuff around her right ankle that was connected by a long chain to the wall over one of the mattresses. Tessa turned her attention to Robert. He was middle-aged, the hair around his temples already grey. The rest of his hair was light brown, almost blonde. He had the beginnings of a beer gut, just a bit of pudge hanging over his blue jeans. Robert needed a shave, his cheeks and chin looked rough, even in a shadow. Large, dark eyes leered at Tessa above a crooked nose and a smirk. "How she doin' Chlo? Our new girl as good as we hoped?"

Chloe shifted away from Tessa subtly. She flashed Robert a mega-watt smile and nodded. "Oh, yeah. She's doing great, Daddy. She's worth it."

Robert laughed. "That's great. I got everything she needs with me."He held a large knife in his meaty hand. As he came closer to her, Tessa shrank against Chloe again. The man suddenly bent down and grabbed Tessa's bound ankles. Chloe grabbed Tessa's tied hands as Robert cut the rope on her legs. As soon as the rope fell away, he clamped a cuff around her left ankle. The cuff was connected to a long chain bolted to the wall. She felt her heart beat with hopelessness as she wiggled her leg. It was as if the chain sealed the deal. She was trapped. He patted her calf and looked up at her with a smile. "There ya go, baby. That's better, isn't it?"

He reached for Tessa's hands, but the young girl jerked them away fearfully. Robert clucked his tongue, and then grabbed them again. "Now, that's not very nice. I'm trying to help you. If you're going to be a bad girl, I can't help you." Robert finished slicing the rope wrapped around her wrists and Tessa quickly wrapped her arms around her half-naked body. Tessa looked at her captor's arm and noticed a bandage covering his hairy forearm. She'd have to ask Chloe what happened. Robert raised a bushy eyebrow at her. "Don't you have something to say to me for helping you?"

In a sudden rush of bravery, Tessa looked him in the eye and gave him her best fake smile. "Of course I do. I almost forgot to say let me go you sick son of a bitch." Chloe's hand flew to her mouth to stifle a laugh. Robert's jaw shifted and before she knew what was happening, his huge hand flew out and struck Tessa in the face. Her recently freed hand flew to her cheek in shock. Robert was fuming. "Nobody speaks to me that way. My girls will not speak to me that way. Is that understood?"

The question was obviously not rhetorical, so Tessa nodded; hoping he could see how much she loathed him in her eyes. Robert stood up and turned off the light before walking back through the open door, leaving the two girls in the dark, again. Before Tessa could say a word, Chloe moved slowly against the wall until she reached one of the mattresses. Chloe felt along the side of the bed in search of a slot she made years ago. She hummed in victory when her fingers closed around a small plastic object. She turned back to Tessa, prize in hand. Suddenly a weak beam of light found Tessa's pale face. Chloe crawled back over. "We can't use it for long. I just thought you might want some light for a little bit longer. This darkness is hard."

Tessa's hand was still pressed to her cheek, but she managed a small smile at her new friend. "I should've warned you about his temper. Then again, I didn't think you'd have the guts to talk back to him like that. I'm impressed." Tessa chuckled softly. "I don't know where that came from. It just exploded from my mouth."

There was a heavy silence before the older girl spoke. "There are rules if you want to survive here. I'm going to explain them to you and I'm positive you'll have even more questions for me, but try and hold them to the end." Chloe pulled Tessa's hand away from her face and held it as she began.

"There are five basic rules that he has. He expects me to tell you and that you'll follow them from here on out. Rule number one, address him as Daddy. If you don't he hits. Rule number two, you do what he says when he says it. If you don't, he hits. Rule number three, sex equals food. Number four, when he takes us out, and he will, do not try to run. If you do, he really hits."

Tessa looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to explain the last rule. Chloe's eyes were full of apologies when she spoke again. "Rule number five is the most difficult. But, it is also the most important to follow. You need to pick a new name. You don't want to hear him say your real name. Ever."

"Why?"

Tessa had been staring across the basement, absorbing the rules. She had turned to face Chloe as she stated the last rule. Chloe squeezed her hand and explained. "You don't- when he says your name, he makes it sound like a dirty word; like something disgusting. Hearing him say your name like that, it hurts more than any beating, so pick another name. One that means nothing to you, and tell him to call you that. Tell him that you're done with your old life, and need a new name." Chloe had turned the flashlight off, but Tessa could still tell she was crying.

"So, Chloe isn't your real name?"

"No."

"What is your real name?" Chloe sighed. She reached up and wiped away the tears silently rolling down her cheeks. "I-I don't remember. He's been calling me Chloe forever. But, I don't think that's my name. At least, I hope it's not." Tessa released a deep breath she didn't know she was holding in. "What's your story? How did you get here? You can tell me. There's not exactly anyone for me to blab to."

Chloe rested her head against the wall and looked in the direction of Tessa. "The horrors of my childhood are not something I like to discuss. At least not right away." Tessa nodded, then smiled. "I have a brilliant idea. What if you pick a new name, one that only I use. I don't want to call you what he calls you. We'll pick new names and we'll use them." Tessa was quiet for a moment. " I pick the name Jenny. It's generic, boring, and I don't really like it. Your turn."

Chloe laughed. "Jenny, huh? You know what, I'll do it. If only just to humor you. I pick Violet. It's pretty and it makes me feel pretty."

The two girls laughed, happy to find a bright spot in their otherwise dark world. Tessa just sat there smiling for a minute, when she remembered something. "What happened to his arm? Why was it bandaged?"

Chloe- Violet laughed. "That was your doing. Apparently, you put up quite a fight. When he brought you in here, he was complaining about how you shoved him into a bed and bit his arm-hard. Said he bent the bed frame. That was how I knew I would like you."

They were quiet for minute, then Violet spoke again. "I'll tell you my story soon. I'm just not ready yet. Be patient, young grasshopper."

* * *

A week had passed since Tessa's kidnapping, and her parents had very different ways of coping. Derek had thrown himself into work, spending 18 hours a day at the hospital, only going home to shower and sleep when there was no one left to operate on. Addison, however, had disappeared into herself. At first, she had gone back to normal. She fell back into the usual routine, a few surgeries a day, then back to an empty home. Then, she started sleepwalking. Amelia awoke one night to see her friend walking down to Tessa's vacant bedroom and just staring at the empty unmade bed. Amelia had gently escorted Addison back to bed and lay down beside her in the king-size bed, making sure that her sister got the rest she needed. That was the third day.

Four days later and Addison wouldn't get out of her bed. She stared motionlessly at the ceiling, ignoring everyone's pleas to get up. Amelia had a surgery she couldn't cancel, and even then she was torn between staying. Meredith came to her aid and stayed with the red head while Amelia bullied her brother into going home to be with his wife.

"Derek, she needs you. You cannot keep hiding here. She knows what you're going through and you two need to get through it together." Derek was sitting at his desk, staring at the papers covering it as his little sister lectured him.

Abruptly, he stood up and flung the papers off his desk. "Damnit, Amelia! I can't help her! I can't help myself! My daughter is missing. She was there and then she was just gone. My baby…is just gone. Someone took her from me and there is a huge possibility that I may not ever see her again. How can I get through that?"

Amelia's blue eyes hardened as she spoke. "You can't get through that. That kind of pain is something that never goes away. Even when you get her back, -and you will get her back, Derek- it will never go away. That kind of pain will haunt you. You can only bury that deep inside you and hug your daughter. But, you can handle this pain. We have a capability to shove pain deep inside us and keep going. Addie is buried deep in this pain. She can't handle it, Derek. She is drowning and you can help save her. Go home and help her Derek. Now."

Derek stared at his sister for a moment, then walked out of the hospital toward his home. He was surprised to see Meredith sitting in his kitchen, watching the oven reheat one of the many casseroles that had been given in the days his daughter had been gone. The woman gave Derek a pitying smile which he ignored as he made his way to his bedroom. His wife was curled up on her side, facing away from the door. Derek kicked off his shoes and took off his dress shirt. He climbed in and wrapped his arms around his wife. Addison didn't react at all. "Addie, please look at me. I need you to look at me."

It took a moment, but Addison rolled over to face Derek. Tears were streaking down her face and Derek wiped away the tears. "It- it hurts so much Der. It hurts so much, I can't breathe." The man nodded in agreement with his wife. "I know. I feel it too. But Addie, you can't just stay in bed all day. You can't let the pain get the best of you. Tessa wouldn't want you-"

Addison jumped out Derek's embrace and started pacing. "Don't talk about her like she's dead, Derek. Tessa is not dead. My daughter is still alive. I won't let you talk about her that way." The tears were still pouring down her cheeks, but now they were fueled by anger. Derek sat up, trying to calm his wife down.

"I know she's not dead, Addie. But, you're grieving like she is. We will find our daughter and we will hug her and kiss her and never let her go. But, it may take a while to get her back and we have to keep moving. We can't stop and disappear. That won't help anything. We have to keep going for Tessa."  
Addison nodded, starting to calm down. Husband and wife stared at each other, blue and green eyes filled with tears. Addison collapsed back into Derek's arms, letting her tears flow. Derek and Addison fell asleep in each other's arms after promising to keep going for their missing daughter's sake.

* * *

 _Addison's hand held tightly to her six year old daughter's as they walked through Saks Fifth Avenue searching for a dress for the little girl wear to the Shepherd's annual Christmas party. Carolyn always insisted that the children didn't have to be dressed fancily, but Addison used any excuse to put Tessa in mini designer dresses, claiming that every little girl wanted to dress up. Currently, Tessa was not proving that to be true._

" _Mommy, I already have a dress. I can wear my Beauty and the Beast dress to Grandma's. It's so pretty!" Tessa groaned as her stylish mother grabbed two more dresses for her to try on. "Tessa, you can't wear a Halloween costume to a Christmas party. It's not appropriate."_

 _Addison ushered her daughter into a dressing room and helped her out of the jeans and pink polo shirt she wore. "Mommy, it is 'propriate. Belle wore it to a ball, I can wear it to Grandma's."The little girl insisted even as her mother pulled one of the fluffy red and green dresses over her head._

" _Tessa, this is not up for argument. You have to wear one of these dresses to Grandma's and that is final. The quicker you accept that, the sooner we can go home. So, what do you think?" Tessa stared at her reflection in the mirror. The dress was long sleeved and Christmas tree green. A white fur belt divided the green from a red plaid skirt that came to the little girl's knees. She looked at her mother with a grimace. "You're kidding right, Mommy?"_

 _Addison frowned at her daughter. "What, it's adorable! You look so cute! You really don't like it?" Tessa shook her head vigorously. Addison sighed, then began to undress her daughter. Four dresses later, both mother and daughter settled on a white sleeveless dress with sparkles on it. Addison led Tessa to the women's section, having decided that she needed a new dress too. As Addison browsed the racks of designer dresses, Tessa sat on an uncomfortable chair reading a Junie B. Jones book she borrowed from her kindergarten teacher. Tessa loved to read and hardly left the house without a book in her hand. She hadn't anticipated her mother to take so long and she finished her book. She looked around the fancy store, bored of just sitting in there. Tessa watched her mother walk towards the dressing room, an armful of dresses in tow. Tessa got up and followed her mother, but lost her through the racks of clothes. She found her way to the dressing rooms, lost to which one her mother was in. "Mommy? Mommy, where are you?"_

 _No calming voice alerted Tessa to her mother's location. Maybe she hadn't gone in here. Tessa knew that department had numerous dressing rooms, and decided that her mother had not gone into this particular one. She headed to the next set of dressing room she remembered. The little girl hummed as she walked down the marble aisle that went through the middle of the department, her little book forgotten on the chair._

 _Addison walked out of the dressing room, a beautiful black dress in her hands. The dress was $2000, a bit more than she had planned to spend that day, but she needed a new dress too, and it wasn't like she couldn't afford it. Addison handed the reject dresses back to one of the sales associates before turning to the waiting room where she had left Tessa. "Are you ready to go, Sweetheart?" She called as she made her way to the set of chairs._

 _Her eyes widened when she saw all the chairs were empty, except for one that had a Junie B. Jones left carelessly behind by a six year old. The woman turned back to the associate and asked, "Where is my daughter?" When the clerk shook her head dumbly, Addison hurried back to the racks of designer dresses that her daughter could easily be hiding behind. "Call security and tell them my six year old daughter is missing. Her name is Tessa."_

 _Addison began moving through the department calling desperately, "Tessa? Tessa, baby, where are you?" Her heart was starting to race with panic, and her searching became even more panicked. She had already made it to the other side of the women's floor and was heading to the escalator when a little head of curly brown hair caught her eye._

 _Tessa had found the other set of dressing rooms and had gone to each door knocking and saying loudly, "Mommy? It's Tessa. Let me in." When no door opened to allow the little girl in, Tessa wandered out, confused. Her mother had to have gone into a dressing room. She had a shopping rule that she never broke: don't ever buy something without trying it on first. Her mommy never broke that rule. As she walked dejectedly out of the dressing room, she saw her long sought after mother rushing towards her. "Mommy! I found you!" the little girl exclaimed as her mother pulled her into a hug. "Oh, Tessa, baby, I was so worried about you. Don't ever do that again. Don't ever scare me like that again."_

 _Tessa pulled back out of her mother's tight embrace, a smile lighting up her face. "I was looking for you, Mommy. You scared me." Addison picked up her daughter and balanced her on her hip. "C'mon sweetie, let's go home. We don't need any new dresses." As mother and daughter walked out of the department store, Tessa asked, "Does this mean I can wear my Belle dress to Grandma's?"_


	5. rule number 3

Tessa and Violet fell asleep soon after their naming ceremony. The empty rumblings of Tessa's stomach woke her series of nightmares later. Tessa winced as her stomach let out another wail. She looked apologetically to Violet's still form, and then sighed in relief when she saw that the girl was still asleep. Being awake alone in the complete darkness allowed painful thoughts to enter her brain. Tears welled in her green eyes as her mind wandered to her family. Tessa didn't think she'd ever wanted her mother as much as she did in that moment. Not even when her dad had dragged her off to Seattle from her childhood home. She smiled as she remembered how much she had pestered her father to speak to her mother. Derek had unfairly decided that if he was cutting Addison out of his life, then Tessa would too. Derek had even gone so far to trying to convince Tessa that her mother had stopped loving her. As if.

* * *

" _She stopped loving us, Tess. Your mom just didn't know how to tell us, so she drove us away. It's my fault. I ignored her and she took it out on me- and you though probably not on purpose. She would never hurt you on purpose." Derek attempted to explain why he had suddenly left and was taking her to Seattle as they waited for the plane to take off. The pair was sitting in first class, and Tessa had unenthusiastically slumped into the window seat. No amount of explaining would make any sense to the twelve year old. She already missed New York._

 _About a month ago, Derek had received a phone call from his old mentor, Richard Webber. The stressful life of a resident with a child had caused him to lose contact with the esteemed surgeon a few years ago, but Richard had kept up to date with Derek's success. He'd eagerly offered Derek the position of head neurosurgeon at one of the top teaching hospitals in the country. Derek had reluctantly turned down the promising job offer so Addison wouldn't have to lose her practice at Mt. Sinai. Now, he had nothing holding him back from accepting. Well, there was a small snag. An unwilling twelve year old._

 _Tessa sat on his left, staring dejectedly out of the window as the plane rose into the clouds. She didn't turn to look at him as she spoke. "I don't believe you. She's my mom. She can't stop loving me. Could you ever stop loving me?"_

 _Derek instinctively reached for Tessa's hand, but she jerked them away and folded her arms over her chest. She finally turned towards her father. The preteen's father was surprised to see the hostility and anger swimming in Tessa's green eyes._

" _No! I could never stop loving you, sweetheart. I'm your dad."_

 _Tessa's eyes narrowed in a frightening copy of her mother's and said, "And she's my mother. So she can't stop loving me either. Stop trying to turn me against her."_

 _Tessa turned away from Derek and ignored her father for the rest of the six hour flight._

* * *

Tessa snapped back to her dark and twisted reality with the clicking of locks. Violet jerked awake next to her. Robert came barging in, a paper bag swinging in his hand. He reached up and tugged on the light, then turned to a groggy Violet. "I've got two combo meals in here. She has to earn them for both of you. You told her the rules?"

Violet nodded numbly. She hadn't expected him back so soon. He must be excited. Robert swung around to Tessa next. "So?"

Tessa stared back, unfazed. "So, What?"

Robert smiled deviously. "Are you ready? Since this is your first time-conscious, that is- I'll let you choose where you go. Your options are bed, floor, or shower."

Tessa finally understood. He was asking her where she would like to be raped. How kind. Tessa swallowed hard. She looked to Violet, hoping desperately that she had misunderstood. What was left of her soul crumpled in her chest when Violet avoided her gaze.

"C'mon, Princess, I don't have all day!" Robert barked. Tessa wanted badly to ask if he had another girl to kidnap and rape waiting for him, but thought better of it, thinking of the last time she smarted off. "B-bed."

Robert nodded approvingly as he bent down to unlock her ankle cuff. He scooped Tessa up and threw her over his shoulder. The teenager threw her friend a pleading look as she was carried through the doorway. The man turned and tossed the bag of food back at Violet before slamming the thick door. Tessa swung back and forth uncomfortably as Robert stomped to the bedroom. She tried to look around the cabin as he marched through, but it gave her a headache to hold it up so awkwardly. It wasn't very big, she decided. The longest part of this dreaded journey was climbing the stairs leading up from the basement. All too soon they arrived at the bedroom. Robert put her down on the bed, surprisingly gentle. He reached to unbuckle his blue jeans and Tessa began to panic.

"Call me Jenny. Please. I'm starting over. Call me Jenny."

Her walking nightmare nodded then smiled devilishly. His meaty paw reached forward and pushed Tessa on her back. Tessa turned her head and closed her eyes as Robert took off her panties, and with them, her last shreds of dignity and hope fell to the floor with them. Her aunt Amelia had lectured her before she went into her high school about how much doing drugs had screwed her up. The high wasn't worth the pain, she'd said. Tessa couldn't help but wonder if her aunt had ever felt a pain this deep.

17 minutes. That was how long it took to steal the last of her innocence. Robert's smothering weight had crushed her body, his sweat had mingled with her tears. When he finally rolled off her, Tessa opened her eyes and distracted herself from her angst-filled thoughts by checking out the small bedroom. When Violet had said remote cabin, Tessa had imagined something a little more primitive. The areas she could see were well taken care of. Faded white sheets lay crumpled on the floor surrounding the bed. The wooden walls were gleaming and the appliances in the kitchenette glistened in the sunlight. If she craned her neck just right, she could catch a glimpse of a large fireplace with a rock façade. The bedroom itself was relatively clean. It was the only room that looked lived in. the mattress she lay on was bare like the one she slept on in the basement. A wooden door led to what Tessa assumed was the bathroom. She suddenly realized how badly she needed to use it.

Her eyes wandered to Robert who had quickly fallen asleep after rolling off her. She swung her legs off the bed and stood up, gasping in pain. Pain so sharp she had to sit back down. The young girl composed herself before trying again. This time expecting the pain, she walked slowly, back hunched. Her dirty hand was turning the knob when a gruff voice spoke.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Tessa spun around. Robert's fathomless eyes were glued to hers. "Th-the bathroom, Daddy."

She was never calling her father that again. Her abductor raised his eyebrows.

"Without permission? That seems unlikely." Tessa bowed her head in shame. "Can I please go to the bathroom, Daddy?" Robert smiled and Tessa felt bile rising in her throat. "After that wonderful job you did? Of course you can. And when you come out, I have a present for you."

Tessa gave him a weak smile as thanks before walking into the bathroom. She didn't really want to find out what her present was. She almost cried when she sat down on the small toilet, but clapped her hand over her mouth. Her eyes lingered longingly on the dingy shower in the corner, wanting to wash the last half hour of her body desperately. The brunette stared at her depressing reflection in the mirror. Her normally vivid green eyes were devoid of life, her usual cheery smile forever gone. Tessa scrubbed her hands and arms with the simple bar soap she found. Then, her face got a proper cleaning. Her nimble fingers were just finishing redoing her loosened braid when Robert banged on the door.

"That's enough." Tessa hurriedly finished tying her braid and emerged, feeling slightly better. Robert had sat up and gave her an almost kind smile. But, that was impossible. Tessa was positive that the man in front of her didn't have a single kind bone in his body. Next to him sat a neatly folded sweatshirt with a painfully familiar logo on it. Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. A shocked gasp escaped her and Robert's smile widened. "I thought you might like this."

He picked it up and held it out to her tauntingly. Tessa's shaking hands reached for it and pulled it over her head. It still smelled like the hospital. She wondered how long that would last. She wrapped her now clothed arms around herself tightly, reveling in the comfort of familiarity. When she was sick, she would steal the one her mom had tucked into her closet and buried herself under her covers in it.

Robert cleared his throat and looked at her expectantly. "Oh. Uh, Thank you Daddy." Tessa swore each time she called him that, the more likely she was to vomit. Robert chuckled and pulled Tessa in for a hug. "Your welcome, baby. Anything for you. I should make you do something else for me being so nice, but you did good today, so just think of it as a welcome present." Suddenly, he scooped Tessa up bridal style and carried her back to the basement. When he put her gently down on her mattress, he already had the ankle cuff snapped back on before she could blink. Nobody said a word as he left them in the dark. Tessa heard some rustling and the paper bag was in her lap. The burger and fries were surprisingly still warm and Tessa wasted no time in devouring them. Violet's voice was soft when she spoke.

"What did he make you do to him?" Tessa just shook her head. She didn't want to relive it quite yet. She heard Violet sigh and then heard a loud scuffling sound. Violet had pushed her mattress against Tessa's. The other girl pulled Tessa against her in a tight hug.

"I think I'm ready to tell you my story, if you still want to hear it." Tessa looked to her friend in surprise. "You don't have to if you're not ready. I don't need to be distracted or anything."

Violet was quiet for a moment, but then spoke again. "I'm not telling you for you, I'm telling you for me. All the other girls that came through here, not one of them asked how I got here. They were too busy wallowing in their own misery to be thinking about mine. You asked because you actually care. I want to tell you."

Tessa held Violet's cold hand between hers as support. She had a very strong feeling Violet's life wasn't easy. "He took me when I was a four. I don't remember where I was before or who I was with. Him and this basement are all I can remember. There was another girl here when he took me. She was fourteen, and became my big sister. Her name was Violet." Violet took a deep shuddering breath before she found her voice again.

"One day, I was seven; he came barging in, fists swinging. He accused her of cheating on him, even though she hadn't seen the light of day in three years. He snapped her neck right in front of me." Another pause filled the darkness. "That year, five more girls slept in the bed across from me. In the past thirteen years, he has killed 18 girls, all with his bare hands. I learned to talk from all those other girls. I only know how many years it's been because he lets me come out on New Year's."

Tessa sniffled softly. How could someone do that to a child? As they sat together, a thought burst in her head. She was going to leave this basement alive. She wasn't going to be number 19. She was going to escape and Violet was coming with her.

"That's… that's all I've got in me right now, and that's probably all you want to hear, so I say we get some shut eye and call it the worst day ever."

Tessa snorted, but she couldn't agree more. She was exhausted. Her body ached deeply and all over. She rolled onto her side and pulled the neck of the sweatshirt over her nose, breathing in the smell of home.

* * *

So now you know a bit more about Violet. The next chapter will focus a bit more on Addison, Derek and everyone else back at GSMH. I'm about to go on a roadtrip and won't be able to update for about two weeks. Thank you so much for the favorites and follows! I'm so happy that people are liking Tessa's story. Feel free to leave a review!


	6. i lost her too

**I'm back! Vacation was most wonderful, but I am more than happy to be home! So, there is a bit of a time jump in this chapter, it's been about a month since the last chapter. So Tessa has been missing for about five weeks now. I realize there is a bit of a mix-up in the timeline so I wanted to clear it up. I'm putting the arrival of the Shepherd's around season eight, because I want Amelia working there. Everything in the show has happened, just without Derek and Addison. I realize this confuses things, but it will work out for the best. Here's the next chapter!**

* * *

Addison was fine. She hadn't seen her daughter in over a month. She had no idea where she was, if she was hurt, if she was even alive. But, she was fine. Sure, in that month, she averaged about three hours of sleep a night, but she was fine. Addison had to be fine or Derek and Amelia wouldn't let her go back to the hospital. And Addison needed an OR to be fine. She needed screaming laboring women, the comfort of a sterile OR, and the general hum of the hospital to not get lost in the dark fog of her mind. Addison needed the hospital.

Derek had taken to hovering over her at home and at work. He walked her to her office every morning and he waited for her until she scrubbed out of her last surgery of the day. Her overbearingly sweet husband tried to eat every meal with Addison. If he was unable to join her for lunch in the hospital cafeteria because he was in the middle of saving someone's life, Derek would apologize profusely until she assured him to the point of madness it was alright. The only thing that made it difficult to be at work was the Look. Every nurse, resident, and intern gave her the same look. The "I'm sorry your daughter was kidnapped" look that even the most helpless intern had mastered. Addison was sick of it.

She was sick of being handed the Look and a scalpel at the start of every surgery. She was sick of it. The red head stood at the nurse's station, filling in a patient's chart at the end of a surprisingly slow day. One surgery all day had left her with a lot of time to think. Thinking was bad. Thinking meant her mind was focused on Tessa. It meant that she pondered if her daughter was alive. It meant she prayed to every God there was that she wasn't being hurt. And strangely, if her daughter was alone. Tessa hated being on her own. Addison hoped with all her being that wherever her sweet daughter was, she was with someone she could trust.

As she finished her updates to the chart, the surgeon's diligent eyes flickered up to the two nurses sitting in front of her. They were doing what bored nurses did best: gossip. Addison paused in her writing to listen to today's topic, the good doctor herself. "Can you imagine? The poor girl was taken right outside her office, right outside! How can she even stand to come back here?"

The nurse's counterpart nodded pityingly. "I know. Lucy scrubbed in with her on her first surgery back, and she said that Montgomery was like a robot. Scrubbed in, cut, and scrubbed out. Didn't say a single word."

The two women shook their heads in pity. "She was so nice before. Knew the nurse's names that were in the OR with her, talked with them, and always said please and thank you, which is more than you get from a lot of surgeons."

"It's shame, such a shame that her daughter was ripped out of her life and she became a robot, huh?"

Addison stared unfazed at the blushing nurses. They jumped at the surgeon's voice and shared guilty looks before turning towards her, sputtering apologies. "Dr. Montgomery- Shepherd, we're so sorry, we didn't see you there."

Addison raised her eyebrows skeptically before speaking again. "You're sorry you got caught gossiping about my family's tragedy like last night's episode of _The Bachelor_. You're sorry that I heard, not about the content of which you were discussing. And I am sorry that I'm not the same Dr. I was a month ago, but having the most precious thing in your heart suddenly missing tends to change you a little bit. I am sorry that my life slowly falling apart is making you uncomfortable!"  
Her voice rang out across the entire floor, catching everyone's attention. The nurses gave each other uneasy glances before trying to offer more empty apologies. Addison held up her hand before muttering, "Save it" and walking away.

"Addison! Wait up!"

Footsteps pounded after her, but the woman didn't bother acknowledging them. Her feet carried her to the empty stairwell and she sat down with the weight of the world pushing her down. The owner of the feet finally caught up with her. It was a huffing Alex.

"How do you manage to run so fast in those damned heels?"

Addison closed her eyes and cradled her head in her hands. "Did you want something, Karev?" Her friend sat down on the step on her left and rubbed his large hand on her back comfortingly.

"Yeah, I wanted to check on you. I've been meeting to tell you to stay away from the nurse's station. They've been worse than ever."

Addison transferred the weight of her head from her trembling hands to Karev's steady shoulder. "It's almost enough to make me want to stay home, honestly. The only thing that keeps me from staying home is that I would most certainly go crazy. I can't stand being home. Whenever I'm home alone, I end up camped out on the couch waiting for her to come waltzing through the door, even though I know she won't. Even though I know I probably will nev-"

"No!"

Karev turned to grab his mentor by her shoulders firmly. "We both know she's gonna come back."

Addison had made a pact to never cry while in the hospital, but all this talk of her daughter instantly brought tears to her eyes. She blinked them away as Alex stared her down. His grip on her arm softened from firm to comforting as he helped her stand up. "C'mon, let's get you to Derek, ok?"

As strong as Addison was trying to be, Alex could see her tough exterior beginning to crack. He wanted to save his friend the embarrassment of breaking down in front of the entire surgical floor. He was surprised when she didn't protest, until he got a look at her face. It was unreadable; not a single emotion visible. The pair turned to go up the single of flight of stairs to Addison's office. When Karev opened the door to the office floor, they were met with a concerned Derek.

"Addie?"

Alex passed the barley holding it together woman to Derek, who embraced her tightly. He murmured soothing words in his wife's red hair as he led her to his office. Alex sighed as he watched the Addison fight the storm of tears from escaping. That was the strongest woman he knew, and he found himself asking why the universe continued to deal her the horrible hand it had. He was so lost in thought; he didn't hear Meredith approach him.

"She ok? I heard there was an incident with the nurses." Alex sighed.

"Honestly, I don't know how much she can take. She just keeps getting hit with these knock out blows and she keeps getting back up, but I don't know how many more times she can crawl back to her feet."

Meredith pursed her lips in pity. Tessa was adored by the entire hospital; they had all watched her grow up. The whole hospital felt her kidnap like a sharp blow. Meredith had her Zola even though she checked on her multiple times during the day, an even though she knew her daughter was perfectly safe, an inkling of fear crawled up her spine every time she walked into the daycare. She heard a sniffle and looked at Alex. He was crying. Her big, rough and tough person was crying. Without a second thought, the tiny blonde wrapped her arms around his torso and reached a slim hand up to stroke his hair. He sobbed into her hair, "I lost her too. I lost her too, Mer."

Alex pulled himself together quickly, and broke from Meredith before hurrying back down the stairwell and out of the hospital. Out in the cold night air, he let his thoughts wander to Tessa. He liked kids, all kids. He liked how innocent and honest they were. Kids were so much better than adults. Tessa was no exception. Karev had met his future partner in crime when Derek had become head of neuro three years ago. He personally thought that Derek was an arrogant jerk surgeon, but Tessa had a way of bringing out the best in people without them knowing. She'd certainly done that to him.

* * *

 _Alex Karev sighed as he studied the surgery board. Not a single slot had his name written there. Which, he supposed was a good thing; no children needed life-saving surgery. A flicker of movement on his left caught his attention. A young girl, thirteen at the most, was reading the board with narrowed eyes. Karev cleared his throat loudly, making the girl turn her attention to him. Her voice was bored when she said, "Can I help you?"_

 _He was surprised by her boldness. He was the doctor, wasn't he? It was his job to ask that question, not some snot nosed brat. "Yeah, you could inform me on who the hell you are and why you're looking at my OR board."_

 _The girl rolled her eyes dramatically before answering. "I'm waiting for my father to get out of surgery. I've been sitting in the waiting room for six hours. I wanted to know when he would be finished."_

 _Karev felt like an idiot. He'd just yelled at a little girl who was probably scared out of her mind. "Hey, I'm sorry I yelled. That was uncalled for. How bout I take you down to the cafeteria and get you whatever you want."_

 _The young girl smirked as she considered her answer. She might as well have some fun. She turned so her back was facing Karev and worked herself up to cry. When she turned back, tears were pooling in her eyes and her lower lip was quivering. "Yes, please."_

 _Karev smiled gently to comfort her as he guided her to the cafeteria. "You wanna tell me your name?" Alex asked as she loaded down her plate. She looked like any other teenager to him, albeit dressed a bit nicer. The sweater she wore was obviously designer, but her jeans were faded and ripped and her knee length boots were scuffed. Her long dark hair was familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. As she scooped a large spoonful mac 'n cheese on her plate she smile and said, "Tessa."_

 _Karev flashed his he usually reserved for patients at her. "Tessa, huh? That's a pretty name."_

 _A piece of chocolate cake made its way on to her tray. Tessa smirked. "Thanks. Got for my birthday."_

 _Karev chuckled; it was something he would say. His eyes widened as she placed every dessert available on her tray. The kid could eat. Karev paid for her meal and they picked a table. Karev watched her pack away a slice of pizza, two slices of pie, and a thick piece of cake. "What kind of surgery is your daddy having?"_

 _Tessa paused in her grazing; she'd forgotten what she was going to say. "Oh, a craniotomy."_

 _Karev raised his eyebrows in surprise. Brain surgery was kind of a big deal. He had expected something a little more mundane, gallbladder removal, or even a heart surgery, but not brain surgery. "Wow, that's kind of scary, but Dr. Shepherd is the best there is. He's kind of a neuro god."_

 _Tessa smirked; it was funny to hear other doctors talk about her father. She knew his reputation, but he was no neuro god to her, he was just her dad. "So I've heard." They had been in Seattle for a couple of months, and she although she hated to admit it, she liked it here. She hadn't seen her Uncle Richard in years, Tessa could hardly remember him, and this hospital was nicer than Mt. Sinai. But, she missed her mother. Derek refused to let his daughter speak to Addison, even though Tessa knew her mother called often. Her super surgeon father seemed happy here, though, that was good. It had been a while since her father had been happy._

" _Shouldn't someone else be here with you? Is there someone I could call?" Tessa snapped back to the cafeteria and Karev. He was watching her intently, waiting for an answer. "N-no. There's nobody. I mean, there's somebody but I can't-it's complicated. There's just me for now."_

 _Karev frowned, he was confused. "How is it complicated? There's either someone for me to call or not."_

 _Tessa folded her arms, huffing. This random doctor didn't need to know her confusing family life. "There's no one to call."_

" _That's not true." A deep voice startled both of them. Tessa and Alex froze at the sight of a frowning chief._

" _Uncle Richard!"_

" _Chief!"_

 _The dignified chief of surgery stood in front of their table. "What do you mean there's nobody to call for you? You and your father have been here for two months, and I have seen neither hide nor hair of your mother. Where is she, Tessa?"_

 _Karev looked at the shame faced Tessa and angry chief in confusion. "Wait a minute. You to know each other?" he turned towards Tessa in anger. "Is your father really having surgery?"_

 _The little girl twisted her hands together nervously. She looked to Richard, but saw that he was waiting for an answer as well. She sighed, knowing the game was over._

" _Technically, yes he is in surgery. He's performing the surgery."_

 _Karev felt his jaw drop. "Your father is Derek Shepherd?! I just bought Derek Shepherd's kid 30 bucks worth of food? You could buy the whole freaking hospital a meal!"_

 _The angry young surgeon pushed away from the table before storming off. Tessa saw the chief sit down next to her and begin to eat a brownie she'd picked up. "So, are you going to tell me what that was all about?"_

 _She turned her chair to face the older man, advising him that what she was about to say was serious. "Uncle Richard, what did dad say when we came here?"_

 _The chief blinked in surprise; what an odd time to ask. "Just that he needed a change of scenery. That he was tired of New York."_

 _Tessa narrowed her eyes. "Is that all?" When Richard nodded, Tessa smiled without any happiness in it. "He really hid the details, huh? He lied, Uncle Richard, at least partially. Dad left New York because of Mom. He left her. That's why she's not here. He took me with him and dragged me here, away from all I know because he was angry. Now, he hides in the OR all day, and leaves me to wander around the hospital all day!"_

 _Richard chewed his brownie thoughtfully as Tessa informed of his friend's real reason for accepting the job. "Why did he leave her?"_

" _Because I slept with Mark." A cool, calm voice spoke from behind Tessa. The young girl spun around in astonishment. "Mom!" Tessa jumped into her mother's arms, burying her face in her mother's fur coat._

" _Hey,Tessa. Oh, I've missed you so much, baby." Addison wrapped her arms around her daughter tightly and pressed a kiss to her dark hair. The two months they had been apart were awful and Addison was very reluctant to release her from the hug. "How have you been? Are you ok? God, I am never letting you out of my sight again."_

 _Addison kept Tessa tucked tightly against her side as she turned to greet Richard. "Hello, Richard. It's nice to see you. I'd love to catch up, but I really need to spend time with my daughter. Tell Derek she's with me?"_

 _Mother and daughter walked happily out of the hospital, arm in arm. As they were getting into Addison's cab, Tessa saw Karev walking across the parking lot. She told her mother to hold on, and raced to catch up to him._

" _Wait! Dr. Karev! I'm sorry I lied to you. I was just trying to have some fun. I'll pay you back."_

 _Karev froze. He hadn't expected an apology from the brat, but she was obviously sincere. He smiled to let her know they were all good, and then tensed in surprise when Tessa wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. "I'll see you again, right?"_

 _Tessa smiled brightly when Karev nodded and raced to join her mother again. Karev shook his head and smiled as the cab drove away; taking who he was sure was going to be his new best friend home. "I like her spunk."_


	7. first outing

**Chapter seven! Sorry about the confusion with chapter six being re-uploaded. I somehow accidently deleted it and had to post again. This was kind of a hard chapter to write, and it went through a couple of drafts, so I hope y'all like it! Oh, and leave a review!**

* * *

Tessa was done. She was done with Robert touching her, with this damn basement, and the nasty bucket she had to do her business in. She was done, and she was completely prepared to tell Robert. _The next time I see him,_ she promised herself. She hadn't told Violet of her plan yet, though there had been ample opportunity to do so. They had nothing to do but talk. Actually, it was mostly Tessa informing Violet of the outside world she had been ripped from before she could experience the best parts of it. Tessa was trying to explain the magic of the _Harry Potter_ series, which Tessa had loved when she was little, but Violet had been kidnapped before she could read them, when the door opened. Tessa readied herself to fight Robert off her, but Robert went to Violet first. His meaty hand freed Violet's skinny leg with a clank. The action made Tessa nervous. He hadn't ever released Violet from her tether since she had arrived. "C'mon, we're going out."

He unlocked Tessa next, giving her a creepy smile the whole time. As soon as she felt the chain fall from her leg, she jumped up and hurried to get next to Violet. Robert nodded approvingly.

"That's right. You need to stay close to her. I expect both of you to follow the Outside Rules when we leave here." He turned to towards Violet and narrowed his eyes. "No funny business, you got it?"

Violet rolled her eyes and nodded her head, looking bored, which Tessa thought was quite brave, considering his temper. Robert grunted then went back through the door, only to reappear a moment again with clothes in his hand. He tossed the shirts and shorts at the girls' feet and ordered, "Put these on."

He stood in front of them as they pulled them on. Tessa found herself in a purple tee shirt that was at least three sizes too big, and dirty, ripped jean shorts that cut off about mid-thigh. Violet had picked up the stained blue tee shirt with a dancing crab on it and khaki shorts. At least hers fit. Tessa used the extra hair tie she had managed to keep to make the shirt fit a bit better and turned nervously towards Robert, not knowing what to do next. The burly man chucked a two pairs of cheap flip flops to them and gestured for the girls to follow him.

Violet walked eagerly after their captor. Tessa trailed unsurely after her. After being locked in the cabin for so long, she was lost on how to feel about going outside. Sure, it would be wonderful to smell fresh air and feel the sunshine on her pale skin, but Tessa wasn't sure she could fight off the urge to take off and run for her life. Robert led them to the front door, grabbed the doorknob, and flung open the wooden door. Tessa craned her neck to see past him, suddenly desperate to get a glimpse of the outside world, but Robert blocked her view. His cruel eyes jumped between the two teenagers standing in front of him. "Chlo! What are the rules?"

Violet sighed impatiently, and then looked at Tessa, as if suddenly realizing that Tessa didn't know the rules. "Stay where you can see us, act cute, get what we need then run like hell."

Robert nodded, then turned and walked through the door. Violet clamped her hand around Tessa's forearm as they stepped out into the forest. "Okay, we're going out because Robbie Boy is getting low on supplies and is too lazy to go into town, which means we're going to steal from campers. Stay close to me, and don't tell anyone about what happens to us, and whatever you do, don't try to run,"

Tessa gulped uncertainly. What was going to happen? Violet's hand stayed on Tessa's arm as they hiked through the woods. Tessa tried to memorize the path they took, but Robert weaved through the trees, and she quickly got lost. They didn't walk for long, maybe twenty minutes, when Robert suddenly stopped in front of them, holding out his hand. He beckoned them forward. As Violet and Tessa continued forward past him, he whispered harshly, "You know what to do."

Tessa realized they had come to a small campsite. Three large tents surrounded a smoldering fire, where three couples were talking and laughing. Violet ran her fingers through her hair and said, "Follow my lead."

Violet put a smile on her face and pulled Tessa along to greet the campers. They looked up as the two teenagers approached them cautiously. Violet began to speak in a high-pitched happy voice. "Hey, I'm so sorry to bother you guys, but my sister and I decided to have an impromptu camping trip. So impromptu that we forgot to bring most supplies. You guys wouldn't happen to have any extra supplies we could use, do you?"

The group shared glances, and the woman with short blonde looked up with a smile. "Sure! What all do you need? I'm sure we have some stuff to spare. I always over pack." The young woman got up and beckoned for them to follow. Violet gave her a grateful smile and pulled Tessa along with her.

"We could use just about anything. I'm heading off to college this fall, and my sweet little sister decided to surprise me. She also happened to forget to pack just about everything except the tents and our clothes."

The woman laughed as she put granola bars and snack foods into a burlap sack. "It's the thought that counts, right? My husband and I are on our honeymoon. Our two best friends just got married as well, so we decided to all just go together. Not exactly the Bahamas, but it's sweet. I'm Laurie, and that's my husband, Brandon."

Violet stuck out her hand and Laurie shook it. "I'm Erica, and this is my sister, Ella. It's nice to meet you, Laurie."

Laurie looked to Tessa and gave her a condescending smile. "It's so sweet of you to want to have some fun with your sister, but next time, try to be a little more prepared!"

Tessa gave a nervous chuckle and nodded her head, embarrassed. She wanted to beg these six strangers to protect her from the world she would soon return to, but she was afraid what would happen if she spoke up. Laurie put some more food, a few mini containers of shampoo and soap, and a large hunting knife into the bag. She handed it to Violet with a warm smile.

"That, should do, right? How long are you guys out here for?"

Violet looked over their haul before answering the woman. "Only for a couple more days. We just needed some time for ourselves. I don't know how to thank you enough for all this."

Laurie rubbed Violet's shoulder comfortingly and said, "It's no trouble, sweetie. I hope you guys will be alright. Come back if you need anything else, okay?"

Tessa and violet assured her they would, and bid the group goodbye. Tessa carried the bag back to wear they were supposed to meet Robert. As Violet paused to make sure that nobody followed them, and Tessa took advantage of her distraction. She grabbed the knife Laurie had slipped into their supplies and slipped it into the waistband of her jean shorts. Just in case.

"So, you've done that before, huh? Seemed pretty routine for you."

Violet nodded, and then turned back towards her. "Yeah. It was easier when I was little. I was cuter, could get more stuff. Gotta be clever now. Though, it's better to have another girl with me. You get more sympathy with two of us. When Robert comes up, hand that bag right to him. He'll probably pat you down, just to make sure you didn't steal anything."

Just as she finished speaking, Robert came stomping through the trees, his burly arms full of stolen goods. Tessa held the burlap sack out hesitantly toward him, and jumped as he snatched it from her. He turned sharply back towards the direction they had first come from. The knife slipped down her shorts slightly, the cold blade tingling against her skin. She reached her arm back to adjust it, hoping that neither Robert or Violet noticed her squirming as she walked along. Too soon, they were back at the small cabin. Robert unlocked the door, and led the girls into the living room where he could evaluate the haul.

He nodded approvingly at the new supplies. He looked up at Violet and Tessa with his signature creepy grin. "You did good today, girls. We should be set for another couple three weeks, at least. You can go back down now." He turned his full attention to Tessa, unfortunately his favorite person. "I'll be down for you in a minute, and you better be naked."

His words sent a chill down her spine, ending coincidently at the tip of the knife, but she turned towards the basement door and hurried down the steps to her mattress. She flung herself down on her stomach, feeling lower than low. The girls sat in silence, waiting for the inevitable. All too soon, Robert's heavy feet were heard coming down the steps. A smirk was plastered on his face, but it slipped as he saw Tessa still clothed. "What did I tell you?" He asked as he stalked towards her. She backed against the wall and whispered, "Stay away."

He smirked again; finding her warning amusing. "Or what?" he chuckled.

Tessa reached behind her, feeling a bit braver with her hand wrapped around the knife handle. "Just stay away." Robert frowned; he didn't like playing hard to get. His girls don't play hard to get with him. He reached forward for her leg, but she was quicker. She jerked her leg back and swung her arm out, catching the knife on his arm. He howled, more in surprise than in pain. Tessa held the knife out in front of her defensively. "I told you to stay away."

"You little bitch. Do you really think that was a good idea? Cause I don't." he wrestled the knife out of her weak grip, although she managed to cut him a few more times. When he finally the knife away from her, he flung it angrily behind him. She heard it land on the steps, and she regretted using it so soon. Tessa thought she had seen him angry; he got upset over the littlest things. But, those were just the tantrums of a toddler compared to this.

Robert's huge fists flew at her, hitting in the face and stomach. The air was knocked out of her with the first blow, but she kept her skinny arms raised in defense. He hit her nose, and she felt the blood start to flow. _My first bloody nose,_ she thought vaguely. She didn't know how long he beat her; she had stopped paying attention after the first few blows. She let herself go numb, like she did every time he laid a finger on her. But, he just stopped, panting for breath.

Robert got to his feet from his kneeling position. He eyed the cuts on his forearm with disinterest, and then lumbered back through the door, slamming it shut behind him. Violet rummaged around in the slit of her mattress, made a noise of victory, and stood up to turn on the light with a miniature first aid kit in one hand and a handful on band-aids in the other. She knelt down beside the bleeding Tessa and began to doctor her wounds. She used pieces of gauze to staunch the flow of blood from her nose. The older girl placed a few band-aids on Tessa's cut cheeks and when she was properly patched up, she wrapped her arms around her. Tessa felt tears fall from her swollen eyes. Violet whispered as she held her friend, "You're so brave. you're so very brave."

* * *

 _Tessa held onto her daddy's hand as they walked up the front steps of her elite kindergarten. It was her first day. Addison had worked the night shift and was supposed to meet her little family at the entrance. Tessa looked around eagerly for her mother, but she was nowhere to be seen. She looked up at her father impatiently. "Where is she, Daddy? She is supposed to be here!"_

 _Derek sighed as he looked down at his little girl. Tessa had been so excited to put on her school uniform this morning, which had been a bittersweet moment. He wasn't ready to let his little girl grow up, but here she was. Addison should be here, holding onto Tessa's hand as she waited for the bell to ring, which was only four minutes away. "I don't know, sweetie. Maybe an emergency came in."_

 _Tessa looked down at her little sparkly pink shoes her mommy had picked out. They didn't match the navy blue and green school colors, but Tessa didn't care. They sparkled, and that's all that mattered. Derek looked at his wristwatch and searched for his wife one more time, before bending down in front of Tessa. "Looks like mommy's not going to make it, sweetheart. I'm sorry I know how much she wanted to be here, and how much that you wanted her to be here. I'm sure she'll make it up to you."_

 _Derek grabbed Tessa's hand again and began to lead her to her classroom. Derek was shaking hand with the teacher when Addison came running down the hall, still clad in her scrubs. "Wait! I'm here! I'm so sorry I'm late. There was an accident and they needed all hands. I got here as soon as I could. I'm not too late, am I?"_

 _Derek smiled at his disheveled wife. He leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek. "No, you're just in time." He looked into the classroom to see his daughter already sitting at a little desk with her name on it. "Tessa, look who's here!"_

 _The little girl looked up from her fully stocked pencil bag curiously. Her little eyes widened in surprise to see her mother standing in the door of the classroom with tears in her eyes. She sprang from her pint-sized chair excitedly. Addison knelt down to embrace her daughter._

" _Mommy! You came!" She turned towards her father with a smug smile on her face. "I knew she'd be here, Daddy. I told you!"_

 _Derek chuckled and pulled her into him for a hug and gentle kiss on her forehead. "Yes, yes you did, sweetheart. You called it."_

 _Addison stroked her daughter's carefully done hair happily. Derek had called Nancy (who was not pleased to wake up at dawn to come to her brother's house) to fix Tessa's hair. She had carefully straightened the six year old's thick hair, and then had tied her bangs back with a green bow. Tessa had never felt more pretty in her little life._

" _Of course I made it, sweetie. I'm sorry I almost didn't, though. I am so, so proud of you, Tessa Girl. You're getting so big. I hope you have the best first day of school, and I can't wait to hear all about it when I pick you up, okay?"_

 _Tessa nodded happily and gave her mother a quick kiss on the cheek and ran off to join her classmates just as the bell rang. The teacher thanked the Shepherds, and then went to begin the school year with all the eager six years old sitting in their desks. Derek and Addison watched their sweet little girl through the small window on the classroom door. Tessa had a pleased smile on her face as her new teacher introduced herself. She was in her element. Derek heard a sniffle and saw his wife wipe a tear from her cheek._

 _He squeezed her hand tightly and said, "I know, it's too much." Addison nodded and then looked down herself. "I can't believe I introduced myself to my daughter's teacher in dirty, wrinkled scrubs."_

 _Derek laughed at his wife's statement. "Tessa loved it though. She loves seeing you in your scrubs. It's like you're in a superhero suit."_

 _The smile fell from her face. Addison turned towards her husband and said, "my baby is growing up way too fast. Make it stop."_


	8. taking a chance

Tessa landed hard on the mattress, moaning at the impact. Robert had been increasingly rough with her since the whole pulling a knife on him incident. Whenever he came to collect her, his hand would clamp on the back of her neck with a slap and he would shove her all the way to his bed. When she was returned to the basement, Robert would shove her from the bottom step onto the dirt floor. After this happened a few times, Tessa got the bright idea to push her mattress closer to the door, so at least she had a softer landing, though not by much. Violet jerked awake from her own mattress as the door slammed.

Tessa stood up and switched on their light. Violet stood with her, mostly just to check her bruising. The blonde estimated a week had passed, at least; the bruises were a pale yellow that stood out against Tessa's fair skin. But as she studied her friend's face she noticed some much newer bruising that made a chill run down her spine. Tessa had angry purple bruises on her neck; four on each side. She instantly reached out to brush her fingers against them in concern. Tessa jerked back, and then winced in pain.

"What happened? When did he do that?"

Tessa's hand moved to the bruises subconsciously; she had honestly forgotten about them. "He's been wrapping his hands around my neck for a while now. At first he just put them there, but he's slowly been applying pressure. Today, though, he squeezed hard. I saw spots."

Tessa hated how the words left her mouth as easily as if they were discussing the weather. How could her life end up like this? What had she done to deserve this? What had any of the girls done to deserve this? Her eyes wandered to Violet, who was still watching her with concern in her eyes. She thought of that disgusting man upstairs taking an innocent child and turning her into a girl who knew nothing but abuse. It wasn't fair.

Suddenly, she was angry. She was angry at Robert for doing this to her, she was angry at Violet for letting him do it to her for so long, but mostly she was furious with herself for not doing anything to stop it. Her fingers tried to run through her hair, but the tangles stopped and she got mad at that too.

"Ugh! That's it! I'm not letting this go on. We are going to be the last inhabitants of the basement, I promise you. We are going to come with a plan to get out of here and we are going to make sure that Robert never touches another girl again. Are you in?"

Violet looked unsure. Her arms wrapped around her stomach tightly.

"Tessa, I want get out of here as badly as you do, maybe more, but I don't think there is anything we can do. Don't you think that other girls have tried? You know what happened to them? He killed them. Beat their heads in, strangled them, and even broke some necks. I know he seems stupid, but he's smart enough to figure out what's going on." Violet sighed, but something in her eyes changed. There was hope flashing in them. "But if I had to bet on anyone getting out of here, it would be you. You have so much fight in you and you're brilliant."A smile that Tessa rarely saw brightened her face.

Tessa smiled and knew she had her blessing. Ideas began to whir in her mind; however, they all took a lot of time. It was too risky to try right now, with Robert so on edge and even more short-tempered than normal. Tessa would have to do everything and anything he said to get him to trust her again. With his sick mind there was no telling what she would have to do. If, he didn't accidentally kill her first.

She had played it off as not a big deal, but she still could feel the ghost of his hands squeezing tighter and tighter till orbs danced in front of her eyes. Tessa rubbed her hands across the bruises wondering how much harder he would squeeze next time.

Robert snuck into the basement quietly, making sure to unlock the six locks on the door slowly. He saw both of his girls sleeping peacefully on the beds he so kindly provided for them. He smiled as he stood over Jenny, his special girl. The welts on her neck stood out in the light spilling in from the top of the stairs. A frown found its way on to his face. He hadn't meant to hurt her that bad; he just got excited when he was with her. The large man bent down and gently pawed her hair away from her face. She gasped awake at the movement. Robert smashed his index finger against her lip to make her be quiet, gesturing to Violet who unfortunately was still asleep. He beckoned for her to get up and follow him out of the basement. Tessa could tell something was up. He never cared if Violet was awake before, and he hadn't been this gentle with her at all. She followed him cautiously, tensing with every step. When she reached the top of the stairs, Robert was waiting for her with a cheery smile on his face. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and ushered her into the living room.

"Please sit down, baby. We need to talk."

Robert took a seat in the worn armchair across from an even older looking couch where Tessa perched uncomfortably. Robert licked his lips slowly, as if what he had to say was difficult. He cleared his throat then said, "I'm sorry I hurt you earlier, babe. I didn't mean to. I mean, I kinda did, 'cause I'm still pissed at you for pulling a knife on me, but still. I was out of line."

Tessa narrowed her eyes in confusion. What was going on? Why was he apologizing? He had hurt her plenty of times before and had never let out a peep. He was watching her expectantly, waiting for some sort of an answer.

"Oh. Uh, it's okay, Daddy. I was, um, a bad girl and needed to be punished, right?"

Robert smiled in relief and nodded. "I'm so glad you understand. I know things have been rough between us, but now we can get passed this. I think this will make our relationship stronger, don't you?"

Tessa was beyond confused, but she continued to give him the answers that he wanted to hear. "Oh, of course. If we can get through this, we can get through anything."

She had never seen him like this. Robert was almost acting as if she was his girlfriend. Is that how he saw her? He almost seemed innocent, but Tessa knew he was anything but. This tender side of him was new, but she was sure it wouldn't last. Without saying a word, he got up from the chair and strode into the kitchenette. She could just barely see him making some sort of a sandwich over the bar. Her captor walked back towards her with a hopeful grin on his face. His large hand thrust a PBJ in her face. Tessa took it automatically. Robert looked surprised as she took a tentative bite of the sandwich. A flood of memories swept her brain as she chewed her favorite sandwich. She had eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day for lunch in second grade. Her mother swore Tessa would never want to eat another one for the rest of her life, but Tessa still made them occasionally. This one almost made her cry; her heart ached for her family. She had to see them again soon, and if she had her way, that day wouldn't be far away.

Robert waited patiently for her to finish her sandwich and then instructed her to go back to the basement. Before she descended the flight of stairs again, she turned back towards him.

"Daddy? Could you tell me what day it is?"

Robert smiled like one would to a child who had asked why was the sky blue, but answered her anyways.

"August first, baby."

She smiled, and then began to go back down the stairs. Her eyes landed on a clock on the wall she had never seen before. 10:27 A.M. A little piece of her became immensely happy. Just knowing the date and time made a big difference in her life. That's kind of sad, isn't it? How just having that little bit of normalcy in her life made her so happy. The young girl curled up on her mattress, dreaming of the day she would get out of this hell hole.

"Okay, so we can't kill him, right? We've decided against killing him? I just want to be sure."

Tessa and Violet were brainstorming their escape. Violet thought the best solution was killing Robert. That way they could be assured he wouldn't hurt anyone else. Tessa disagreed. She thought that the revenge that would taste sweetest would be Robert being thrown into prison for life for his crimes. He deserved to suffer. Death would be a mercy.

"No. We will not be killing him. Besides the fact that we don't have anything to kill him with, we could potentially get into trouble for killing a man, no matter how much he deserves it. I don't want to get out of this prison just to get thrown into another."

Violet sighed, but nodded in agreement. "So, we have to run away somehow? How do you expect us to do that?"

Tessa smiled proudly. She had turned this over in her mind last night. She had the perfect answer. "We will have plenty opportunity to escape coming up. When Robert comes to get me for sex, does he lock the door?"

Violet furrowed her brow in thought. "No."

Tessa smirked. "No, he doesn't. So, the next time he takes me up, follow behind us. Not right away, but after a few minutes, come up. He keeps all of our supplies in the kitchen, so you go in there and destroy as much as you can, as quietly and quickly as you can. He'll be forced to go outside to steal from more campers and while were out, we'll ask someone where the main trail is and we'll take off."

She sat back, immensely proud of her brain baby. Violet considered this carefully. "What if he catches us? He'll kill us."

Tessa pressed her lips together and nodded grimly. "Yeah, he will. But honestly by that point, we'll be better off dead. And, how will he get away with killing us in the middle of all those campers? One way or another, we will be the reason Robert gets put away."

The executed phase one of the plan right away. Or least tried to. Robert started to take Tessa right on the ugly couch. Violet almost got caught. She had followed the plan to a t, but was not expecting Robert to change the venue. Her eyes bulged out from the top of the stairs as she made eye contact with Tessa. She had hightailed back down the stairs as fast as she could. When Tessa was allowed to come back down stairs, Violet had cornered her.

"What the hell was that? You said you would be in the bedroom, not in the living room!"

Tessa held out her hands helplessly. "Normally, that's where he takes me! I was caught off guard as much as you were. It's okay; it only puts a small kink in our plan. How's this: tomorrow, don't try to come up. I'll talk him into going back into the bedroom. When I come back tomorrow, I'll tell you if he bought it, and we can try it the next day."

Violet looked doubtful. "How much more of this can you take?"

Tessa sighed. "I'll do whatever it takes to get us out of here. No matter what."

The girls promised to try this Plan 2.0 out tomorrow, but first sleep.

Tomorrow didn't work.

Neither did the next, or the next.

Apparently, Robert was feeling adventurous. He dragged Tessa all over the cabin. He took her into the shower, on the floor, even on the kitchen counter. Multiple times. She had promised Violet that she would be able to handle whatever he had in store, but she didn't know if she could keep that promise. Every time he released her from his sweaty disgusting grip, she began to hate herself a little bit more. No, hate wasn't a string enough word. She despised herself. She hated what she became and what her eyes had seen. Tessa could no longer sleep she lay awake, each night, waiting for him to come back. But, finally, almost three weeks after they had originally planned, Violet got her chance. After three consecutive days of being in the bedroom, Tessa gave her the all clear. As Tessa did her part of distracting Robert, Violet got down to business. She honestly didn't have that much to do. Robert was a pig and ate way more than was needed. There was only a little bit more food that couldn't be tossed outside the kitchen window, and Violet snuck that back downstairs.

When Tessa was flung back into the basement, again with large bruises on her neck, Violet shared her haul with her. The girls were having such a good time with their contraband; they almost didn't hear Robert stomping back down the stairs. Violet hid the box of Cheeze-its behind her back just as the door flew open. Robert stood frowning in the open doorway.

"We're outta stuff. When I come back down, you two better be ready to go."

The teenagers nodded solemnly and turned to each other excitedly. They had their chance, and they were ready to take it.

* * *

 **So, i got inspired and wrote this before i could forget anything, hence the quick update. i couldn't think of a flashback to add to this chapter, so i didn't. but, if you guys have flashbacks you would like to see, feel free to let me know! enjoy!**


	9. Talk it out

**Back with some Addison and Derek! Tessa's daring escape will take place next chapter and i'm still working out some of the details. i am so thankful for all the follows and reviews this story has received. i never imagined how far it would go, so really, Thank you! Please enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

"So, you'll be home around seven, then? I just want to know when to start dinner." Addison waited patiently for her husband's reply as he studied the scans in front of his face. Derek finally turned his attention to her.

"Yeah, my surgery should be over at six, six thirty at the latest. That gives me just enough time to grab my paperwork and be home just in time." Derek stood up and paused to kiss Addison on the cheek before hurrying to scrub in. The red head smiled fondly as her husband ran down the hospital, way too eager to be in the OR. She checked her wristwatch, quickening her pace as she realized she had a patient waiting for her. A nurse slid the chart in her outstretched hand as she knocked on the door, alerting the patient to her entrance.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, but, seeing as that is kind of a mouthful, you can call me Dr. Shepherd. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting; I was on a consult."

The lie flew easily from her mouth; it was her go-to excuse from her early resident days when she and Derek would sneak off. Addison lifted her eyes from the chart in her hands to formally meet her new patient. A young blonde woman sat on the exam table, her hand gently rubbing her round belly. A nervous smile graced her lips as she reached to shake Addison's outstretched hand.

"Hello. I'm Allie Finch. It's nice to meet you."

Allie tilted her head to the side and narrowed her hazel eyes, looking Addison up and down. Her brow came together in concentration as she watched her doctor begin to start up the ultrasound machine. Addison noticed the young woman staring at her and raised her eyebrow in puzzlement.

"Ms. Finch? Is there a problem?" Allie jumped then shook her head in embarrassment.

"No, no there's no problem. It's just that you look very familiar and I can't place you."

Addison smiled as she rubbed the gel on her patient's belly. "You'd be surprised on how often I hear that. I must have one of those faces. If you look right here, you'll see your son's-"

Addison cut herself off, her green eyes focused on the little screen. Allie looked up at her doctor in concern.

"Dr. Shepherd? Is everything all right? Is my baby okay?"

Addison quickly smiled reassuringly at Allie, mentally kicking herself for frightening her. "I'm sorry I frightened you like that, but it seems like your son has amniotic bands wrapped around his left leg."

Allie's eyes widened and her hand moved to her belly, as if trying to feel the constricting tissue around her baby's limb. "What does that mean, exactly? Will he be able to walk? Could it cause permanent damage?"

The neonatal surgeon held up her hand to halt the questions. "It is a serious condition that luckily I can fix with a laparoscopic procedure, if you wish to operate. If you don't, there could be significant damage or complete loss of limb."

Allie's eyes filled with panic as her diagnosis sank in. "He- he could lose his leg?"

Addison nodded solemnly. "If you choose not to operate, yes. But, I have a high success rate with this surgery, and by the looks of it, the band is high on his thigh. There is a very good chance that I could remove it with little complications. But, there are risks with every surgery."

The young woman stared down at her belly, and nodded gently. She looked back up at Addison, and then her eyes widened in surprise. "I remember you! I saw you on the news! Your daughter was kidnapped."

Addison pursed her lips as she wiped Allie's belly off. The reporters had been hounding her and Derek for an interview for weeks after Tessa first vanished. They finally agreed to a brief interview, if only to get the vultures off their backs. Every employee at the hospital had watched it, and then told the Shepherds about watching it, as if that was a show of support, but Allie was the first patient to make the connection.

"Did they find her yet?"

The red head bit her lip before answering, trying to keep her emotions in check. "No. No, they haven't." She refrained from adding, _and they probably won't_ , in order not to frighten her patient even more. The soon to be mother adjusted her shirt back over her bump slowly before looking shyly back at her doctor.

"Do-do you think about her while you work? That must take up a lot of your attention."

The doctor quirked an eyebrow at the strange question. "Well, as I'm sure you know, it's hard not to think about your child, so yes I do. But, honestly, I try not to because it's very painful, but then again, it's hard not to."

Allie nodded as if that was what she suspected all along. "Then, I think I'm going ask if someone else can do the surgery."

Addison blinked in surprise. She hadn't expected that. "Ms. Finch, that's fine, if you really want someone else to perform the surgery, but I assure you, I am highly qualified. The most qualified on the west coast, not too brag."

Allie slid off the exam table and began to grab her purse. "I'm not doubting your skills, Dr. Shepherd. I'm sure you are quite capable, but this is my baby, and I don't want you to be distracted by your…situation while I'm on your table." She looked away, embarrassed by her request. "I just worry if you would be focused on my son's health or your daughter."

Addison nodded as if she approved of this ridiculous decision her foolish patient had made. "Well, if that's how you feel, then I will recommend some names for you. But, I assure you, I have performed countless surgeries since my daughter's disappearance and they have all ended with healthy and happy babies."

Allie just nodded, and then spoke softly. "I'm sorry, but I am sticking with my decision, Dr. Shepherd."

* * *

Addison sighed as she sipped from her second glass of wine for the evening. Her perfectly capable hands stirred the pasta on the stove. She had decided to make Derek's favorite meal of salmon and garlic butter pasta with a Caesar salad, thankfully all things she could make. Her eyes flicked to the numbers on the top of the stove, wondering when Derek would get home. It was already 6:50; he should be home any minute. She heard the front door open, and then slam shut.

"I'm in the kitchen!" she called loudly.

"I see that."

The tall woman spun around at the feminine voice. Amelia stood smirking at her from across the island. She chuckled softly before turning back towards the food on the stove. "You were supposed to be Derek."

"Hope I'm not too big of a disappointment."

Amelia walked closer to her sister-in-law and peaked over her shoulder. "Is it safe for me to be in the kitchen with you cooking? It seems like kind of a risk."

Addison glanced over her shoulder at the younger woman. "If you keep up with the attitude, it is." She sighed before adding, "I hope you're not planning on staying for dinner, because I only got enough to feed me and Derek."

Amelia moved to the refrigerator and grabbed a cold water bottle. "No, I'm not staying. I just wanted to come over. I hadn't seen you in a while. Thought I'd drop in."

The older woman looked at Amelia out of the corner of her eye, knowing what she meant. "I'm fine. Work helps." She paused, wondering if she should mention her patient from this morning. She decided against it, knowing that she should send Amelia on her way before her brother came home. There had been an undeniable tension between the Shepherd siblings that neither had been willing to talk about, but was awkwardly obvious to anyone in the same room.

"Yeah, it helps me too." Amelia tilted her head with a smile as she watched her friend slowly pull the fish out of the oven. "You know, it probably isn't healthy that we bury our pain in surgeries. We could actually talk to someone."

Addison turned raised an eyebrow in surprise. " _You_ are suggesting going to therapy? Who are you and what have you done with Amelia?"

"Har Har. I'm just saying it might help." Amelia's blue eyes pierced Addie's green ones. "Look, I say this out of love and concern. I know you say you're fine, and I know you put on that mask that fools everyone else into thinking you're fine, but I know you are not fine."

Addison placed the hot dish on the stove and turned to face her sister-in-law. "You're right. I am not fine, though I am coping. And I think I'm doing as well as can be expected, Amelia. I appreciate your concern, but in the grand scheme of things, I think I am doing all right. Now, I love you, but you need to leave before your brother gets home and I have you two fighting like cats and dogs."

Amelia gave her a meaningful look and she quickly added, "But, if it will put your mind at ease, I will consider talking to someone. Now, go."

The brunette smiled victoriously as she walked out of her brother's home and right into the man himself. She quickly sidestepped around him and continued briskly on her way before he could say anything. Derek shook his head at his sister's retreating form before entering his house.

"Addie, I'm home!" Derek heard his wife call out from the kitchen and hurried into the room. His wife was sliding a piece of fish onto a plate already loaded down with pasta and salad. He smiled at the sight of her in a pair of sweatpants and one of his old t shirts, with her red hair piled messily on the top of her head. The neurosurgeon could never decide when his wife looked the most beautiful. She was undeniably striking when she became Doctor Montgomery-Shepherd each day, but he was just as entranced by her when she had just woken up. Addison noticed her husband watching her lovingly from the doorway and flashed him a brilliant smile. She walked over to him quickly and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. She pressed a kiss against his lips in greeting.

"It's good to see you too, Ad. Dinner smells fantastic. Let me go clean up and change before we eat." Derek rushed upstairs to pull on a Seahawks t shirt and flannel pajama pants before returning to his wife again. Addison had poured them glasses of their favorite wine and waited patiently for her husband at their kitchen table. She was just sitting down as Derek slid into the kitchen. He quickly joined his wife and began to dig in. The red head chuckled softly.

"Hungry, are you?"

Her husband nodded as he savored his meal. "I skipped lunch accidently today. Got caught up in a case with Bailey. Guy came in with major head trauma and internal bleeding. Barely made it to my surgery in time. Luckily, I was only putting in a shunt. I could do it with my eyes closed, not to sound boastful. How was your day?"

Addison took a bite of her salad before speaking. "It was kind of… strange, I guess. I had a patient tell me that she didn't want me to perform a surgery on her."

Derek's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Did she give you a reason why?"

His wife hesitated before answering. Derek tended to shut down when Tessa was brought up in conversation and Addison wanted to have a nice evening with him, but she felt that this was important.

"Yes, she did. She recognized me from that interview we did a little while ago. She was concerned I'd be distracted during her operation; basically, she didn't trust me not to kill her baby when I would be trying to remove an amniotic band from his leg."

Derek took a large gulp of his wine before he met his wife's gaze. "That's ridiculous. What did you do?"

Addison shrugged. "What could I do? I assured her that I was more than capable of performing the surgery but she insisted, so I referred her to the next closest surgeon who would be willing to operate, who happens to be in Florida." She paused, gauging her husband's reaction before continuing.

"She was the first one to ever make the connection. I'm surprised it took this long, honestly. I would have thought more patients would recognize me."

Derek was no longer eating and Addison could tell he was starting to get upset, but Tessa had been weighing heavily on her mind ever since her patient had left with a referral in her hand.

"It's hard to believe that she's been gone for four months, isn't it?" She asked him softly.

Her husband licked his lips before answering her, his voice hard. "Yes, it's hard to believe. It's hard to believe that has only been four months when I could swear it's been decades since I have seen my daughter. These four months have dragged on for years, Addison."

Green eyes met angry blue ones over a forgotten meal. Amelia was right; they had all been hiding in ORs instead of talking about the elephant in the room. She could feel the argument coming on, and to buy some time, she thoughtfully sipped from her wine.

"Derek, these have been the hardest months of my life, too. We both seem to have forgotten that we both lost our child. I thought the worst thing that would ever happen to our family was the whole Mark fiasco. I never thought we would lose our daughter like we did. Both of us are familiar with heartbreak. But, this is a completely different kind of heartbreak. This leaves your heart in pieces that you are sure you won't be able to put back. It's so hard to keep my hopes up when we have had nothing to hold onto-"

"We have plenty to hold on to. We have the fact that we will see Tessa again. That's more than enough." Derek stood up and put his half-eaten dinner on the island and began to walk away. Addison followed his lead and began to clean up.

"But, Derek, we don't know if we will see her again. We can hope with every fiber of our being, but we don't know. I want more than anything for us to be a family again. But there is no way to guarantee that will ever happen, and that kills me a little bit every day."

A heavy sigh escaped her body, the weight of her thoughts leaving with a rush. She hadn't realized how good it would feel to say that. Now that her words hung in the air between them, she waited anxiously for Derek's response. When he finally spoke, his voice was so soft she almost missed it.

"Are you saying you're giving up?"

Addison felt her heart stop. Could he really think that? That she would give up on her daughter like that?

"How could you say that, Derek? Do really think I would just throw in the towel, say well, we did all we could, let's move on? I stated the facts, Derek. I would do anything to have Tessa right here in the kitchen with us. I would give anything in the world for that. Hell, I would give my soul to know if she was even alive. Because, even though it is unimaginable to us, that is a very real possibility. Our daughter may be gone forever. That is our painfully harsh reality."

Derek stood silently in the threshold of his kitchen watching his wife slowly starting to crumble. The Forbes-Montgomery in her would allow her to finish the fight. He knew she was right, logically. He knew that he had been unfair. He wanted to take his cruel words back, to not have seen the hurt in her eyes. But, it was too late for that. They were going to finish this conversation, both knowing that it would end with someone in tears.

"Don't you think I know she could be dead? That is my first thought every morning. I wonder if today will be the day that a cop tells me they found my daughter's body in a ditch. I know that she could be dead. I choose to believe that she isn't. I choose to believe that she is alive, waiting for us to find her. I choose to ignore our reality and pray for a miracle."

"I can't do that, Derek. I have to prepare myself for the worst, because if I don't, I won't be able to survive. If the day comes that I am told my child is dead, I will most certainly crumble. That will be a blow comparable to no other. I cannot go into that with my hopes up. But, a little part of me wakes up cheering every morning that today will be the day I see my daughter again. I have to try really hard to contain that little part of me." Tears were starting to build up in her eyes and she knew she didn't have much more in her. She closed the distance in between them and reached for his hands.

"Do you know what I do every morning when I get to the hospital? I check the overnight ER admissions just hoping I will see a teenaged girl matching our daughter's description. Does that sound like I've given up?"

Derek stared at their joined hands, a small smile on his lips. A chuckle burst from his lip and Addison jerked in surprise.

"Is that funny to you?"

Another giggle. Addison began to wonder if her husband was suffering from a nervous breakdown. She placed her hands on the side of his head and forced him to look at her.

"Derek? Are you okay?"

The neurosurgeon began to laugh even more at his wife's concerned expression. "I'm fine, Addie. I promise. It's just that- I do that too. I can't believe we both do that. Great minds really do think alike, huh?"

A smile found its way onto Addison's face at her husband's confession. They had gotten what had been feeling out in the open, and they were dealing with it, in their own weird way. She fell into his arms, relieved that they had really talked. The couple stood there for a moment, both suddenly realizing how badly they needed a hug. Addison pulled away first than began to clean up the kitchen. She loaded the dishes into the dishwasher and glanced slyly up at her husband.

"I think we should talk to a professional, Derek. We should have a long time ago."

Derek was ready to protest, but he knew his wife was right once again. He nodded in agreement as he put the wine bottle away. When the kitchen was once again in order, Addison led her husband up to their bed and they fell asleep in each other's arms, finding comfort in the knowledge that no matter the outcome, they would have each other.


	10. Green eyes tell all

**Here ya go, Chapter 10! This chapter went through a couple of drafts, but this one won. i'm starting my sophomore year of high school with four pre A.P. classes, so i might be kind of busy, but I think i can chapter 11 up before i go back. reviews make my day!**

The final time Tessa passed over the cabin's threshold, she knew she would remember it forever. Her life had changed irrevocably when she first came through the door, and now it would change again. The plan she and Violet had made could only get them so far. It was roughly put together, its end results varying wildly. Best case scenario, the girls would manage to escape with the aid of some campers. Worst case scenario, Robert would possibly beat them to death.

This time, Tessa was prepared to pay attention to the path from the cabin to the camp grounds. She knew the distance, roughly a half mile off the nearest marked trail, so when she got back to civilization, she could send the police straight to the bastard's door. She made note of the small clearing of burnt trees to her left about 200 hundred feet away from the cabin, and the rushing stream that they walked along straight into the camp grounds. Despite the possible danger that lay in her future, Tessa was calm. She let her green eyes soak up the beauty that surrounded her in the blue cloudless sky and the breeze with a slight nip in it that made her glad for her sweatshirt.

Violet walked ahead, trailing closely behind Robert. Her brown eyes would meet Tessa's anxiously every few minutes. Tessa knew why she was so nervous; not only had she seen what Robert could do in a blind rage. She knew the danger that he held within. Tessa wondered if she was also nervous about what would happen if their plan actually worked. If it did, Violet would be thrust into a world she did not know. She had spent 13 years of her life in captivity and had no memory of life before the cabin. Being integrated back into society would be scary and undoubtedly hard, but Violet would have Tessa, and Tessa would have Violet. And if they could handle being kidnapped by a sociopath, they could handle anything. Tessa picked up her pace and grabbed the older girl's hand and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

Ahead of them, Robert suddenly stopped, turning his head to the left. He grunted, and then continued in that direction, only to stop short. A grin spread on his lips, and he beckoned the teenagers closer.

"Okay, girls, show time. I want to watch you two this time. Maybe learn a few tricks." A large belly laugh escaped him as the girls shared a nervous glance. Robert watching definitely threw a wrench in the plan. They nodded and took a couple of cautious steps past his bulky frame.

Tessa pulled Violet closer to whisper in her ear. "It's okay. We'll work around it. We can handle this; it just makes it a little more complicated."

The blonde snorted. "Oh, yeah, only a little more."

"What are you two whispering about? Get to work!" Robert barked at them from the tree he had ducked behind to watch them. Violet rolled her eyes before walking towards the small tent that was set up in front of a small fire pit. It was eerily empty, and Tessa assumed that this would be a bust. The tent was zipped tight, and the fire was long ago extinguished. Tessa went up to the tent and waited awkwardly outside its entrance.

"Hello? Anybody in there?"

When there was no response, she turned back towards her partner in crime. "Nobody's home. I guess we have to move on."

When Robert saw that they had returned empty handed, he grew angry. "What the hell do you two think you're doing? Where's the stuff?"

Violet shrugged her shoulders innocently. "The place was empty, Daddy. Besides, I don't think there was anything there. I'm sure that there will be something else."

Robert growled, unhappy that there was nothing to take. He jerked his head, telling them to move on. He grew even more aggravated when there was nothing at the next place, or the next. Violet groaned loudly that even at the fourth site that turned up to be a bust. There had been people there, but they had blatantly refused to give up anything to the girls.

"Daddy, we could do better if we split up. You don't need to watch us. We can do it!" Tessa looked at Violet with widened eyes. They knew better than to talk back to him. Robert faced Violet with his dark eyes narrowed. Surprisingly quick, Robert's hand flew out and backhanded the girl across the face. Violet's head snapped to the side, with tears springing involuntarily in her eyes. Tessa pulled Violet behind her, putting her body in between them.

"Daddy, she-she's right. Maybe we would have better luck on our own."

Robert didn't raise his hand at Tessa's words; he only watched her carefully. Tessa took the advantage of Robert's strange, unwavering trust any time she could. Most of the time, it got them more food. Now it was getting them away from him. He nodded at her without a word, and then turned the other direction.

Violet looked at Tessa with her hand against her face. 'Thanks. I can't believe that worked. What do we now?"

Tessa smiled at her friend. She looped their arms together and tugged them towards a small cluster of tents. Her heart hammered in her chest. Robert had just walked away! This was going to be too easy.

"Now we get away."

They hurried down the path, getting more and more excited as they passed more campers. Violet froze her brown eyes wide. Tessa grabbed her elbow, trying to get her moving again.

"What are you doing? We need to keep moving."

Violet wouldn't move. Her face was ashen, and Tessa had never seen her so scared. The brunette followed her gaze to see Robert waiting at the head of the trail. His arms were full of bundles and his face was full of anger. She tugged on Violet's skinny arm and started running back the way they had come. Trees turned into blurs as Tessa led them different paths, veering whenever one popped up. Amazingly, she could still hear their captor's feet pounding after them. When Robert wanted something, he could move. Her eyes darted around in search of a way of escape. An answer appeared in the form of a young boy with a cell phone against his ear.

"Hey kid! Can I borrow your phone? Please?"

The boy handed her the phone and Tessa gave him a grateful smile before taking off, Violet still in tow. As they ran on to an empty, hidden trail, Tessa tried to dial 9-1-1, knowing that she should've done it the first chance she got.

"9-1-1, what is your emergency?"

"My friend and I-we're being chased-"

Tessa's sweaty hand had slipped from her grip on Violet's wrist. Thirteen years of living in a basement had left Violet severely unprepared for running in her life in the woods. Even with adrenaline pumping through her veins, she struggled to keep up. Tessa let the phone fall against her side as she turned to see Violet tripping in her over-sized cheap flip-flops and Robert only a few paces behind her. She opened her mouth to warn her friend when all of the sudden, Robert closed the gap and yanked Violet's skinny frame to the ground.

"Got you, you little bitch!"

Robert kneeled over Violet, punching her left and right. Her cries echoed in the woods, and Tessa was frozen. If she didn't go help her, he would most certainly kill the girl that had so selflessly protected her. If she helped her, she would face the same fate. Against her instincts, she rushed forward and pushed the large man away. She caught him just right; he fell to the ground, looking bewildered. When he saw what had happened, his face changed, rage distorting his features. Tessa stood over Violet bruised body protectively, suddenly feeling as much anger as Robert did.

This was the last straw. If he killed her, then she died fighting. She would die defending her friend, who had suffered more than enough at the hands of the monster that loomed in front of her. Robert took a step forward with a confused pout on his face.

"I trusted you, Jenny. I loved you like no one else could. Why would you do this to me?"

A sneer found its way on to her lips as Violet struggled to sit up behind her.

"My name isn't Jenny, you sick son of a bitch."

He lunged forward and grabbed her arm, knocking to the ground and pinning her there. With one massive hand, he held her hands above her head and grabbed her chin with the other. His brown eyes bore into hers. Tessa could feel his vile breath moving over her face like a sickening fog. Robert's hefty body pressed hers into the hard ground, forcing the air out of her. With a quick jerk, she introduced her knee to his groin. He howled; sounding more beast than man. In his distraction, Tessa managed to wriggle her body out from underneath him, sucking in large gulps of air. She clambered to her feet, looking for Violet. The other girl had dragged herself against a tree. She had watched Tessa and Robert's interaction with wide eyes, wondering why she had never thought to fight back like Tessa had.

Tessa started to make her way over when Robert's fist caught her in the stomach. She doubled over, clutching her stomach when he grabbed her by her loose, tangled hair, pulling her to her knees. With hand still snared into her hair, Robert pulled backwards, exposing her throat. His hand clasped around it, squeezing tightly. Tessa reached wildly for something, anything to hit him with. Her hands beat vainly on him; it was as if he couldn't feel her blows. Spots blossomed across her vison. She wondered if he would just keep squeezing until the world would go black. The brunette was sure she was going to find out when his hand suddenly fell away. Air rushed into her lungs as she gasped raggedly to collect it. The spots cleared enough for her to see Violet repeatedly kicking their captor in the ribs. There was a large stick in her hands, which had probably made the blow that distracted Robert from strangling her. Tears were rushing down Violet's face as she beat the grown man. He had stopped moving, his form was completely still. Violet paused, breathing heavily.

Tessa got to her feet and walked to her friend's side cautiously. "Vi? You Okay?"

The older girl nodded, not taking her eyes off the man's body in front of them. After a closer look, Tessa could see he was still breathing, just knocked unconscious from the large gash on his forehead, no doubt from the thick stick clasped in Violet's hand. The blonde looked at Tessa, her brown eyes round and watery.

"I-We're okay. We're okay." A smile split her face and she pulled Tessa in for a hug. The girls were celebrating their new found freedom when Robert suddenly regained consciousness. They didn't notice him getting to his feet. They didn't notice him pull the very same Tessa had cut him with out of his waistband. But, they did him lunging for them, the blade glinting blindingly in the sun.

* * *

"Miss? Can you hear me? Respond if you can hear me." A paramedic sat beside a teenaged girl, stab wound in her side. Her face was badly bruised, her body littered with other cuts and abrasions. The young man had his fingers pressed against her thin wrist, taking note of her weak pulse. Her vitals were low, but stable. She had been unconscious since they had found her, a small pool of blood already formed. Now, she was loaded up, the other girl found with her already on her way to the hospital. Her injuries were much more severe. Multiple stab wounds all over her emaciated body. The girls were clearly victims of months of abuse. The question was, by who?

They had been alone, only a few feet apart. Campers in the surrounding area had called the police when they saw two teen agers being chased by a mountain man. Even more calls came flooding in when screams were heard. No witnesses could clearly describe the man when the police had interviewed them after the ambulances had taken off, sirens shrieking. Three hours away from the nearest major hospital, the girls were being transported by life flight after they reached the county hospital. Fortunately, the hospital that was awaiting the girl's arrival was one of the best in the country. Grey-Sloan Memorial.

The helicopter's blades whipped fierce gusts of wind at the doctors waiting for it to land. Doctors Hunt and Bailey stood on the roof of their hospital, being swarmed by way too eager interns and residents. The helicopter landed and the doctors surrounded the doors, helping the paramedics lower the stretchers to the ground.

Bailey pursed her lips as she surveyed the injuries on her patients. "What happened to these girls?"

"Two teenaged females found in Lake Easton State Park with apparent stab wounds. Girl to the left has approximately six stab wounds, mostly in her abdomen. Other one has one deep wound near the ribcage. Minimally responsive."

Hunt assessed the injuries to his patient as they loaded them on the elevator. He would need assistance; there was no doubt about that.

"Page Grey and Pierce and tell them to meet us in OR 2. She's gonna need all the help she can get. Bailey, who do you need?"

They were splitting up , ready to fix their patients. Bailey moved to scrub in, her scrub cap already on her head.

"I'll take Kepner and Wilson. As soon as she's stable, we'll have to call the police. These girls have been run through the ringer."

A loud beeping from Hunt's patient had him running into the OR only to see Meredith starting CPR on her,manually pumping her heart.

"Vfib! Charge paddles to 200! Clear!" The girl's body jerked as the electricity zapped her heart back into rhythm. The entire OR breathed a sigh of relief as the monitor registered the beating of her heart. Owen moved to the girl's side and ordered the anesthesiologist to put her under.

"Let's get moving people! Let's get this poor girl fixed up and find out who she is and who the hell would do this to her."

As the teenager went under, Meredith focused on her face. She had two severe black eyes and Avery would be paged to see how badly her nose was broken, but there was something familiar about it. Just as the nurse was about to tape her eyes for surgery Meredith got an idea.  
"Wait! Let me check something."

Meredith gently pried the girl's left eyelid open, and felt a gasp escape her lips. She had seen those green eyes many times. She had just seen them a half hour ago, standing at a nurse station. Tessa Shepherd was back.


	11. it's really her

**So, i decided to have the reunion done in two parts because if i didn't the chapter would be ridiculously long. Here's part one. the second part is more important so i really want to focus on that and make it perfect. I love this story so much and i am so proud of it. i can't thank you guys enough for all the wonderful support and positive feedback! the reviews just brighten my day!**

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"Grey, are you sure it's her?" As soon as Meredith had recognized the long lost girl's eyes, she had announced to the OR who she was. To her, there was no doubt that this was Derek and Addison's daughter, the young girl the entire hospital had truly missed. She just knew. Owen, hoping that she right, was unsure about to handle this situation. The Shepherds had to be kept away from this OR, that he knew. It would do no good to get their hopes up only to be wrong.

"I'm positive. Dr. Hunt, those are Addison's eyes. But, to be a hundred percent sure, Amelia told me she had a birthmark on her left wrist, right on her pulse point. Maggie, could you check?"

The cardiothoracic surgeon, who had been standing by the patient's side during the revelation, hurried to flip over the girl's wrist. There, right on her pulse point was a small heart shaped birthmark. It was Tessa. At Maggie's nod, Meredith turned back to Owen.

"What do we do?"

The trauma surgeon did what he did best and took charge. "Pierce, let's get working on her. We need her to be alive for the big reunion with her family. Grey, go tell Bailey about our situation. Then, get someone to watch the doors. We really don't need Derek or Addison finding out about her right now. Go!"Meredith ran into OR 3 where Dr. Bailey was already elbow deep in the other girl's abdomen.

"Doing alright, Dr. Bailey?" The surgeon didn't even look up at the sound of her old intern's voice.

"Grey, I know you did not just ask me if I am alright doing a simple bowel repair. What do you really want?"

Meredith closed the distance between her and Bailey and leaned down to whisper in her ear. Over her surgical mask, Bailey's eye widened at the news. Her hands ran over her patient's organs, checking for anymore damage.

"You better be sure about this, Grey. How bad is she?"

"Six stab wounds to the chest and abdomen, but Hunt and Pierce have her right now. Are you using Wilson?"

The young resident had been standing patiently in the background, ready to help. At the sound of her name she perked up. Bailey told Grey that she would be just fine with April and to keep her updated. Jo followed Meredith out of the OR eagerly.

"What do you need me to do?"

Grey spun around outside the scrub room of Tessa's OR. "I'm afraid it's not terribly exciting, but I need you stand out here and make sure that none of the Shepherds see in this OR. I'm not going to tell you why because it's none of your business, but do not let Derek, Addison, or Amelia anywhere near this OR. Got it?"

Jo nodded with a frown, severely disappointed that she wouldn't be operating today. She did as she was told and stood guard outside of the OR, watching for the Shepherds. Which, in her opinion, was pointless. She had checked the surgery board minutes before being called into Bailey's OR and the only surgery that a Shepherd would be performing was scheduled for three o'clock, five hours from now.

Just as the two hour mark of her guard duty passed at 1, Jo slumped against the wall, bored out her mind. She was considering going in and telling Dr. Grey that she was done with just standing there when Addison suddenly appeared. The young woman scrambled to her feet, caught by surprise.

"Dr. Shepherd! What are you doing here?"

The red head quirked an eyebrow at Jo. "I'm avoiding paper work. Wanted to see if anyone needed any assistance."

Addison tried to step around the resident only to have Jo slip back in her way. "I think they have it covered in there. Maybe try another OR." Jo said with a nervous smile.

Folding her arms across her chest, Addison stared at Jo with her piercing green eyes. "Dr. Wilson, is there a reason you are not letting in this OR?"

Under her superiors' hard gaze, Jo cracked. "I'm not supposed to let you in!"

"Under who's orders?"

Jo bit her bottom lip nervously, unsure about what she was allowed to say. "Dr. Grey said to not let you or the other Dr. Shepherds in here. I don't why, but she was super serious. I'm sure she'll explain everything to you as soon as she's out, but for now-"

Addison walked away before Jo could finish her explanation. Why would Meredith Grey order an excellent resident to just stand outside an OR to keep her and her family out? Who was she to keep Addison Montgomery-Shepherd out of an OR? Richard would know.

The red head arrived at the chief's office, guns blazing. "Why is Meredith Grey ordering me to be kept out of an operating room?"

Richard looked up from the mountains of paper work covering his desk with a blank look on his face. Of course he knew why Meredith had the OR blocked. He had been notified as soon as Hunt had cut her open, but Addison didn't need to know that yet. Richard had been hoping that the Shepherds would be occupied until the girl was safely out of surgery, thinking that would the delicate situation a bit easier to handle, but of course not. Nothing was ever easy is this hospital. Perhaps playing dumb would be a safe option.

"What?"

Addison sighed as she moved to stand in front of his desk, hands on her hips. "I just had Jo Wilson physically block me from going into an OR. Do you know why?"

Richard simply shrugged his shoulders. "Meredith must have her reasons, but she did not share them with me. I'm sure she'll tell you as soon as she gets out of surgery." He turned his attention pack to his paperwork as Addison stared at him, not accepting his casual explanation.

"Or you could stop being vague and tell me what's going on."

Richard looked up again, eyes narrowed. "Addie, I don't know what to tell you. If she doesn't want you in the OR, she doesn't want you in the OR. There's nothing I can do about it. Just be patient and wait until you can speak to Meredith."

Addison huffed and turned around to leave Richard's office just as Meredith Grey herself ran in.

"Chief, she's out of surgery and we're waiting for her to wake up in the ICU. She's not critical, but I thought it would be best-"

Meredith cut herself off as she realized that Addison was still there. She shot the chief a nervous glance, as if asking to continue. Richard stood up, and gestured to the door.

"Addison, do you mind waiting outside for a moment while I speak to Dr. Grey?"

She wanted to say yes she would mind, but nodded and stepped outside of her friend's office and closed the door behind her. She pressed her ear against the door, attempting to hear the conversation. Addison could hear their voices, but couldn't clearly distinguish their words. She sighed and leaned against the wall, impatient. After ten minutes of waiting for the door to open, the fiery red head was sorely tempted to barge right back in when she noticed her husband coming towards her.

"Derek? What are you doing here?" Her husband shrugged before pecking her cheek.

"I got an emergency page from Richard to meet him in his office. Why are you here?"

Addison opened her mouth to reply when the door finally opened. Richard gave them each a heavy look before moving to let them in.

"Why don't you two have a seat so we can talk."

Meredith was leaning against the front of the chief's desk, nervously playing with her scrub cap.

Derek looked from Meredith to Richard suspiciously. "Richard, what's going on?"

The chief sighed before speaking. "At approximately 10:53 this morning, the helicopter dropped off two young girls found in Lake Easton State Park. one had multiple stab wounds, and the other had only one. Dr. Bailey took the girl with the single stab wound and Dr. Hunt took the multiple."

He paused, watching their faces to see if they had caught on. Derek still looked puzzled as to why this would effect him, but Addison knew.

She cleared her throat before speaking. "Which one was my daughter?" Derek's head whipped around to face her, eyes wide. His eyes flew back to Richard and he got to his feet.

"Tessa's here? Why weren't we told sooner!? Where is she!?"

Addison reached out and grabbed his arm, and gently pulled him back down beside her. "Derek, let's listen to what Richard has to say before we freak out." Honestly, she was terrified that the chief was going to tell her that her daughter was dead. And she would do anything to delay the delivery of that news.

Richard nodded at her and continued to speak. "Just as Dr. Hunt was scrubbing in, his patient crashed. Dr. Grey performed CPR, and managed to get her heart started again. Dr. Grey thought she recognized her and checked her for any identifying features. On her left wrist was a small, heart shaped birth mark. Does that sound familiar to either one of you?"

Addison took a deep breath. She couldn't believe it. Her daughter was in the hospital. Tessa was home. "Richard, take me to my daughter now."

Derek turned towards his wife with a smile. His baby girl was back. He pulled her against him tightly, tears pricking his eyes. Addison moved to the door, Meredith, Richard, and Derek trailing closely behind her. She tried her best not to take off in a dead sprint to get to the ICU, but walked calmly (yet quickly) to the other end of the hospital. Meredith matched her pace and began to speak.

"I'm sorry for not letting you in the OR, but I didn't think you should've seen her like that. And, I wasn't a hundred percent sure until I remembered Amelia mentioning the birth mark. I-"

Addison cut her off outside the doors to the ICU wing by hugging Meredith tightly. "Thank you."

Meredith smiled as the older woman pulled back and eagerly entered the ICU. The general surgeon took the lead, directing the excited parents towards their daughter's bedside. Addison and Derek stood at the foot of Tessa's bed holding hands. They had heard their chief say she had been repeatedly stabbed but they hadn't pictured this much damage done to the rest of her body. Derek's voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke.

"What happened to her?"

Their daughter looked nothing like they remembered. Her features that matched Addison's so closely were swollen and black and blue, distorting them. Her arms, exposed from the elbow down, were littered with cuts and scrapes and her narrow fingers dirty and battered. Her collarbones were painfully sharp from where they poked out from her gown. Someone had beaten their sweet, wonderful daughter to a pulp.

Meredith stood closest to her side, chart in her hand.

"It seems Tessa was severely beaten. There also older, less visible injuries that suggest abuse. There are multiple lacerations all over her body, and all at different stages of healing. X-rays show she also has a couple of broken ribs. The most serious injury she has are the stab wounds. Her bowel was nicked, as well as her right lung. It collapsed during surgery, but Dr. Pierce was able to correct it. Her sats were strong, so we removed her from the ventilator. I also repaired the small nick in bowel with no complications. The wounds were shallow, but she lost a lot of blood. She's stable, so now we're just waiting for her to wake up."

Addison dropped Derek's hand to move closer to her daughter. Her shaky hand brushed against Tessa's bruised cheek and a sob escaped her. She hadn't touched her daughter in four months. She suddenly had a strong urge to pull her daughter's limp body into a hug and never let her go, but for now, she settled on just holding her pale hand. Meredith's words were now background noise; Addison's complete focus was on her daughter who lay broken in front of her. A chair somehow found its way beneath her and she sat now with Tessa's hand against her lips. The anxious mother kept repeating _I love you_ into her unconscious' child's hand. Derek sat on the other side of the bed, gently stroking his daughter's pale arm. Footsteps came pounding into Tessa's room, and Amelia's raspy voice spoke from the foot of the bed.

"It's- it's really her? This is really my niece?"

Derek spoke, and Addison could hear the smile in his voice without looking up. "It's really her. Amy, Tessa's home."

The dark-haired woman sat gently on the bed by her niece's feet. The tears were already falling down her cheeks. "It's so, so good to see you, sweet girl. Wake up so we can hug you to death and never let you go."

Addison lowered her daughter's hand from her face but didn't let go. She turned around in her chair to see Meredith and the chief still standing there.

"Dr. Grey, could you do my family a favor? Could you make sure that the news that Tessa is back isn't spread all over the hospital? I'm sure everyone will want to see her, but I really don't want her overwhelmed today."

The younger doctor nodded and ushered the chief out of the room, and slid the glass door closed softly. Addison turned back towards her daughter and she felt her heartbeat speed up. Tessa's eyelids were starting to flutter, a sign she was waking up. Addison and Derek leaned forward, both eager to see their child's beautiful eyes that they had missed so much. It took a little time, but Tessa finally opened her eyes fully, blinking slowly. Her green orbs moved around the room gradually, taking in her surroundings. When they focused on her mother's tearful gaze, they widened in shock.

"Mom?"


	12. it'll all be okay

**The reunion we've all been waiting for! enjoy!**

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That single word spoken in a rougher, hoarser version of her daughter's voice was the most beautiful sound in the world to Addison's ears. It was angelic. Nobody had called her mom in four months. Tears were swimming in everyone's eyes; but for the first time in months they weren't tears of hopelessness and grief. They were tears of happiness and relief. The joy in Addison's heart was greater than any pain that she had ever felt. Nothing could compare to the feeling of having her daughter in her arms again. Her baby was home.

Tessa looked at her family with wonder shining in her eyes. She had escaped.

"I'm home." The words had left her body in a whisper, but they had all heard. Addison smiled widely and pressed a kiss to her daughter's temple as she wrapped her arms around her shoulders.

"You're home. And we'll never let anyone take you away from us again. I promise."

Another tear slipped down her cheek and Tessa wondered if they would stop flowing at all today. Her father had her hand clasped tightly in his and felt him give a little squeeze. She met his eyes and felt a smile form on her lips.

"I just- I can't believe I'm home. I feel like this is a really cruel dream and I'll wake up. Like you're all going to disappear as soon as I open my eyes."

A somber silence filled through room. Derek smiled at his daughter reassuringly. "We're all right here, sweetheart. You can't get rid of us that easily."

Amelia scoffed and rubbed her niece's leg gently. "Your dad's right. We're like a fungus. We may go away for a little while, but we'll always come back."

Tessa laughed at her aunt's words. It had been a long time since she had laughed, and despite the pain from her broken ribs, it felt amazing. A thought struck her and suddenly the laughter died.

"Where's Violet?" At her family's blank stares, she continued. "The girl that was with me? Is she okay? Please tell me she's okay."

Addison and Derek shared uncertain looks. They remembered the chief saying that _two_ girls had been flown in, but the only girl on their minds was their own. Addison could see that her daughter was getting visibly upset at their lack of answers.

"I need to know if she's okay!"

Amelia got up from her perch at the foot of the bed with her hands up. "It's okay. I'll go check on her, alright?"

Tessa nodded anxiously. She should have asked about her sooner. She couldn't remember much of what happened after Robert lunged at them with a knife. If Violet was dead, it would be on her.

As soon as Amelia gently shut the door behind her, she was greeted with the sight of nurses pushing a bed with a still unconscious teenage girl in a room only two doors down from Tessa. Dr. Bailey was standing at the front desk, signing charts.

"Dr. Bailey! You operated on the girl that came in with Tessa, right? How's she doing?"

Bailey looked up from her paper work with the closest thing to a smile that she had. "She's alright now. It was touch and go for a while there, but she'll make it. Whoever stabbed that poor child also beat her badly enough to rupture her spleen. She'll be in some pain after she wakes up, but nothing worse than that. How's your girl?"

Amelia smiled as she looked back toward Tessa's room. Addison was sitting next to her daughter on the bed and still hadn't released the girl from the cocoon of her arms. Derek was doing his best to make Tessa laugh, and he seemed to be succeeding. The young girl was smiling broadly and rolling her eyes as Derek told bad joke after bad joke.

"She's home, and she's smiling. Tessa just wanted an update on her friend. The girl's name is Violet, if that helps with anything. You might want to tell her nurses. I better go tell her how she's doing before she tries to get out of bed and rips her stitches."

Tessa looked impatiently at her aunt as she reentered the room. "Well? Is she okay? Is she awake? Is-is she alive?"

The neurosurgeon nodded and Tessa breathed a sigh of relief. "She just got out of surgery, so it will be a while before she wakes up, but yes, she is just fine."

"Can I go sit with until she wakes up, please? Violet shouldn't wake up alone." Addison looked at her husband over their daughter's head. Their child had just woken up from a surgery to repair her six stab wounds. Tessa should be resting, not sitting vigil on someone's bedside. But, as Tessa turned to look at her mother with her green eyes wide and face innocently sweet, Addison found herself saying yes.

"You can. As long as we both come with you and you are very careful." A smile lit up Tessa's face and she began to try and get out of bed. Addison grasped her daughter's arm to slow down her escape.

"Hold on a sec, sweetie. Wait for dad to come back with the wheelchair. We don't want to rush things."

Derek came in with a wheelchair and Meredith Grey hot on his heels. "Let me just check her out before you start dragging her all over the hospital."

Meredith instructed Tessa to lie back down before fussing over her dressings. "I don't think that you being out of bed is a very good idea, but since you're you are your parent's daughter, I won't be able to stop you. Just please be careful. It's really good to see you alive and awake, Tessa. Don't you ever scare this hospital like that again."

After an assurance from the teenager and a bashful 'thanks for saving my life', Derek was pushing his daughter into a strange girl's hospital room. At the sight of Violet bruised and unconscious in the bed, a soft gasp escaped Tessa. As soon as she was close enough, she latched on to Violet's limp hand. Her green eyes searched her friend's face for any sign of waking up, but Violet's features were eerily still. At her daughter's worried expression, Addison squeezed her shoulder gently.

"I know it looks scary, but she's okay, sweetheart. It just takes time for the anesthesia to wear off."

Tessa nodded distractedly at her mother's words. She had tried to prepare herself before they came in, but that didn't help ease the shock of seeing her friend so badly beaten. She had figured that Robert had done a number on both of them, and though she hadn't seen her reflection yet, she had a pretty good idea her face looked similar to Violet's, if not worse. As they sat there in silence, the excitement of the day slowly started to leave Tessa's body. Her injuries were starting to ache, despite the pain medication. It was almost as if she could feel each individual bruise and cut that covered her body. But the pain was stashed in the back of her mind as Violet began to stir. A painful moan escaped her chapped lips and her brown eyes opened groggily. They danced around the room slowly until they landed on Tessa. Confusion was replaced by surprise and then by happiness.

"You actually freaking did it." Violet croaked as a smile spread her lips. Tessa chuckled at her friend's first words.

"Actually, I think we did it is more appropriate."

Violet winced as she attempted to sit up more in her bed. Her hands moved to her stomach and she gently traced her narrow fingers along her incision site. With wide eyes, she looked up at Tessa questioningly.

"So, what happened exactly? Because I sure don't remember getting this."

Tessa looked back unsurely at her parents, wondering how much of this they should hear. Of course, they had a vague idea about what had happened to their daughter, but could they handle the dark and dirty details that had been apart the last four months of her life? She turned back to her friend with a shrug.

"Honestly, I only have bits and pieces. I remember seeing him unconscious on the ground and hugging you. Then there was a flash of something, I guess a knife, and really intense pain. I mean, he obviously beat us some more for good measure, but I must have already blacked out. What do you remember?"

Violet bit her lip as she tried to rack her brain for the incident that landed her, thankfully alive, in the hospital. "I remember you getting him away from me somehow, and I think I hit him with a stick? Is that it? Anyway, he fell and we hugged, and then he stabbed and beat us. Or vice versa."

Addison and Derek had all but been forgotten as the girls talked. Hearing Violet talk so calmly about being stabbed and beaten sent knives into their hearts. Tessa had been abused; it didn't take a genius to figure that out. And after being doctors as long as they had, the signs were blatantly obvious. Tessa was painfully skinny, and the bruises and cuts that littered her body were clearly not self-inflicted. But, to have the horrors confirmed was a completely different story. The idea of someone intentionally hurting their wonderful baby girl was nauseating to say the least.

"Who did this?"

Her mother's horrified whisper made Tessa turn around and look at Addison's shocked face. Tessa didn't want to say his name. She didn't want to think about his face, or how it looked when he was on top of her. She knew she would have to, sooner or later. Putting this behind her was going to be difficult and her story would be repeated too many times to count. Well, she would have to start somewhere.

"R-Robert. The man who took me. The man that had Violet chained to a wall in a basement. The man who beat me if I didn't let him rape me. The man who-"

Sobs broke from her chest and Tessa buried her face into her hands. Both Addison and Derek moved to hold her, but the injured teenager that had been Tessa's only source of comfort beat them to it. Violet scooted down in her bed to carefully pull Tessa on to the bed next to her. Tessa wrapped her arms around the blonde girl's neck and let the tears fall. Violet rubbed her back soothingly and whispered in her ear.

"Hey, its okay, it's okay. He can't hurt us anymore. He can't get to us. We're safe."

Violet finally acknowledged Tessa's heartbroken parents over her head. "You may want to take her back to her bed. She hadn't slept for the past couple of nights. Just make sure someone's there with her. She started to get nightmares a lot before we, uh, got away."

Derek stepped closer and he gently scooped his sobbing daughter into his arms. Tessa wrapped her arms around her father's neck and buried her tear soaked face into his chest. Derek quietly informed Addison that he was going to take her back to her room. The red head nodded, but didn't follow her family out. Instead, she turned back to the girl who was watching after her husband and daughter's retreating forms worryingly. Addison cleared her throat awkwardly and took a few steps closer.

"Hi. I'm Addison, Tessa's mom, though I'm sure you knew that. I'm sorry that we had to uh, meet under these circumstances."

The teenager looked up warily and nodded at the woman's words. When she didn't speak, Addison continued to talk.

"I can tell you really care about my daughter. I can't thank you enough for taking care of her while I couldn't." Addison paused, watching the young girl's face for a reaction. "Thank you for bringing her back to me."

Finally, Violet made eye contact with the woman standing at the foot of her bed. Her brown eyes were narrowed and her lips were pursed.

"I didn't bring her back to you. She brought herself back. That kid is so strong. If anyone else had gone through what we have, they would've offed themselves first chance they got. But not Tessa. She went through hell and still managed the hope that she could get us out. And she actually did it. And you know what? She made me hope that we could escape too."

Violet dropped her gaze to her folded hands in her lap. When she met Addison's eyes again, there were unshed tears shining in them.

"This is the first time I have spoken with another human being that wasn't locked in a basement or who kidnapped girls in thirteen years. I lived in the dark for thirteen years and now I'm in the light, all thanks to Tessa. I protected her the best I could when we were together, and now I'll protect her from this world too."

Tears were making tracks down Addison's cheeks as the two stared at each other. She opened her mouth to say something, but there was nothing to say to that. So, she just nodded and muttered "thank you" before hurrying back to her daughter's hospital room. Derek had Tessa's head nestled against his chest and her body cradled to his as close as possible. A sad smile formed on her face as Addison pulled a chair closer to her family. Tears were still drying on Tessa's pale cheeks and she gently reached to wipe them away. As soon as her hand fell away, the teenager's features twisted. Her brow furrowed and her lips tightened. She began to twist her body in Derek's arms. He pressed his against her temple and whispered soothingly in her ear.

"Shush, Tessa, its okay, its okay. Daddy's here. Daddy's right here."

As soon as the words left his mouth, Tessa's eyes flew open. Her attempts to squirm out of his arms became more intense and her arms thrashed wildly.  
"No! Get away from me! Stay away!"

her screams echoed through the entire floor and it didn't take long for nurses and doctors alike came rushing in. Derek had released her from his hold and was standing by Addison, both completely dumbstruck. The nurses held their daughter down and administered a sedative to calm her down. Addison watched numbly as the fight slowly left Tessa's body and the drugs led her into a deep sleep. When the nurses were satisfied that their patient was now stable, they slowly trickled out, leaving the completely confused parents alone. It only took a minute for the woman to make up her mind and crawl on to the bed and hold her daughter as she slept. Addison gently tucked Tessa's head against her chest, arms around her. A sigh left her tired body and she rested her chin on the crown of her daughter's head. Derek was still staring at Tessa, as if she was some foreign creature.

"What the hell happened?" A weak voice from the door startled them both. It was Violet, sitting slouched in a wheelchair pushed by a nurse. Her brown eyes flicked from the Shepherds, waiting for an answer.

"I know something happened. I heard her scream, and I am familiar with her screams."

Derek rubbed his hand across his face, looking exhausted. "I was just holding her. She-she started to have a nightmare, so I tried to comfort her, but she woke up and started screaming for me to get away. She had to be sedated."

Violet's brows raised in confusion. "What did you say to her?" Her voice had a protective note in it, and Derek blinked in surprise.

"I- I said that she was safe, that her daddy was there for her."

Brown eyes widened and blonde hair flew as she shook her head. "No. no, don't say that. Don't ever say that to her. Ever."

"Why?"

Violet turned her attention to Addison, who had finally spoken. The teenager bit her lip, figuring that the bomb she was about to drop would certainly sting.

"He made us call him daddy. It was one of his rules. Bad things happened to you if you didn't. You can't say that around her. That name will be forever linked to Robert."

Derek's heart dropped. Tessa hadn't called him daddy in almost seven years, but every now and then, the name fell from her lips. Now, she would never call him that again because of some monster. A part of her childhood was gone. His gaze fell to the ground, and tears pricked his eyes. Tears of anger and pain that burned like fire as they pooled in his eyes.

Violet gave her nurse a pointed look, and the stern looking woman sighed, but rolled the girl further into the room. She parked her on the right side of Tessa's bed and she reached out to rub her leg. Her eyes were soft and sorrowful as she began to speak.

"For some twisted reason, Robert really liked her, right from the start. He said she was special, and she would be treated like she was special. Unfortunately, his idea of special is much different from yours and mine. You don't want to hear the details, so I won't tell you, but special to him is the bruises on her neck."

From her angle, Violet could see the bruising quite clearly. She almost picture his hands squeezing Tessa's throat, tighter and tighter, as Tessa's face turned red and her attempts to breathe becoming more and more desperate. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to make the images disappear. Addison's voice made them pop open again.

"Why did he pick her? Why, all of the girls in the world, did he pick mine?"

Tears were rolling down her cheeks, soaking her daughter's hair, but her voice was strong. She wanted to know. She needed to know. She needed to know why her precious, sweet baby was stolen from her arms and thrown into a basement.

"Tell me why!"

Violet's eyes were narrowed and angry. "I don't know. I didn't want this. None of the other 18 girls that bastard took wanted what happened to them. I wish it wasn't her. I wish it wasn't me, but it was. You can't take it back!"

Their loud voices made Tessa stir in Addison's arms, but a few quick kisses pressed on her cheek calmed her down.

"I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do now. I want to help her, but I can't. I couldn't help her when she was gone and I can't help her now that she's back. My baby is broken, and I don't know how to put her back together."

Violet's features softened, and her voice was gentle when she spoke again.

"You are helping. She just got back. She needs time to heal. You can't expect her to be the Tessa that you knew; that Tessa is gone. Parts of her might come back, but she's a new person. But, you are helping her. You are hugging her and loving her, and that can do a lot more than medicine."

A smile grew on Addison's face and she hugged Tessa closer to her. "Thank you. Thank you for being there for her."

"No problem. She has my back and I have hers. That's how we work."

Violet nodded and rolled her eyes as the nurse pushed back to her room, claiming that it was time for her to rest.

Derek moved to sit on the foot her bed and stared down at his daughter, looking lost.

"I terrified her. I sent her into a panic attack. I scared my own daughter so much, she panicked. How can she ever trust me again?"

The red head bit her lip. Her family was back together, but it felt like they had never been so far apart. Her husband looked afraid to even touch their child. If Tessa wasn't already in her arms, Derek would be enveloped in a tight embrace until he felt better. But, there was no way she was letting her daughter go. So, her words would have to be enough.

"Derek, she'll always trust you. She loves you so much. We're going to make mistakes, but we're all together. We're all here. We'll help our baby get through this, and we'll get through this too. We'll be okay, babe. It'll all be okay."


	13. let's talk it out

**Hi all! So, this is my longest chapter yet with 4,648 words, and if i do say so myself, quite the doozy. I ended the chapter with a fluffy little one shot i hope makes someone smile. Enjoy! waking up to new reviews is kind of the best thing ever!**

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"Mom I love you, but if you spend another night in this hospital room, I will scream." Tessa announced on her fifth day in the hospital. Addison and Derek had hardly left their daughter's side, which was great for the first couple days, but now she needed some space. The constant look of worry formed permanently on her parents faces made a tornado of guilt spiral in her chest. Addison rolled her eyes at her daughter's dramatics.

"You're funny. You're a funny girl."

Truthfully, Addison was as fed up with being in this tin box of a room as much as her daughter was. She could also tell that her daughter was getting tired of her constant nearness. But the overprotective, paranoid mother in her would not allow Tessa to leave her sight. She was tired of seeing her child stuck in a hospital bed. She was ready to take her family home. Meredith had cleared her two days ago, assured by the fact that Tessa would be going home with two world class surgeons. The only thing holding them back was that Tessa had not yet been released by psych. Physically, Tessa was healing well, and her wounds were looking good. But mentally, well that was another story. Tessa hadn't been sleeping, though not for lack of trying. Nightmares plagued her; nightmares that nobody could stop. Dark circles formed underneath the faded bruises on her eyes. Psych had been down every day to talk to her, right at one, and it seemed to help. It almost seemed as if Tessa looked forward to it. That was not the case at first though. Tessa had fought hard against them. Then, she was given an ultimatum; either she talks to a shrink, or she talks to her parents. Tessa had only agreed to do it on one condition. Neither of her parents were allowed to sit in on her sessions. Naturally, they both had disagreed to it.

"No. Absolutely not. Tessa, we should be in there with you for support. Talking about it will be hard for you-"

Tessa had cut her father off with a sharp glare and even sharper words. "Not any harder than actually living through it. I am willing to talk; you guys just can't be there."

And why the hell not?"

This was harder for Tessa to answer. She avoided her parent's awaiting eyes, knowing that her answer was unfair and hurtful.

"I… I'm not ready for you guys to know what happened, and honestly I don't know if I ever will be."

That had left them without words. Their only wish was for Tessa to get better, and talking would help. It pained Addison to know that her daughter was trying to protect her from her experience, to know that she didn't think that her own parents could handle it. But, to help their child, they agreed and for an hour each day, kept themselves busy while Tessa got better. Then, they waited eagerly outside her room, hoping that this would be the day she opened up to them. But every afternoon, after Dr. Taylor walked out with a notepad filled with the issues that plagued Tessa's mind, their daughter was frustratingly silent. She would sit in her bed, wiping away tears that had fallen during the session. Addison would just hold her and comfort her helplessly. Today was no different. The only change was that as soon as Addison was in her normal position, Tessa began to speak.

"Dr. Taylor said that the police are going to come by this afternoon to talk to me. She said that Richard held them off as long as they could," Her flicked up to her mother's, making sure she had her attention. Of course she did. "She said that at least one parent had to be in there with me, I'm a minor, or whatever."

Addison met Derek's eyes over their daughter's head. They knew how much their chief had protected their daughter from all he could; reporters were barred from the pediatric wing where Tessa had been relocated a day after her return. And he apparently held the police from questioning the closest thing he had to a granddaughter. They owed that man one hell of a thank you.

Derek nodded and absentmindedly twisted his wedding ring. "Okay… so who do you want with you?"

Tessa fidgeted at the question. She didn't want either of her parents to sit in on her interview. She had to protect them. They couldn't handle her story. She couldn't even handle her story, but she had to. The horrors that she had lived through still haunted her dreams, and the only person who understood was Dr. Taylor. Dr. Taylor didn't know her before Robert, so she couldn't judge. She couldn't see the difference between the two like her parents could. That was another reason she didn't want to tell them anything. She was scared for her mother to see her as she sees herself. She was scared that her dad wouldn't see his little girl, but some broken, fragile little creature. The Tessa they had so lovingly raised was gone, and she didn't want them to know.

"I don't know. I don't care. You two decide; I don't think I can, honestly." An argument was bound to come up, she was sure of it. But, to her surprise, her father simply shrugged and looked at his wife.

"You can do it, if you want. I actually have an aneurysm to clip."

Addison raised her eyebrows in surprise. She had assumed that both of them would be in there. Tessa had said that at _least_ one parent had to be in with her. But, after being married to the man for 15 years, it didn't take long for the redhead to figure out what he was thinking. The only man Tessa was comfortable around was her father, and that even had its limits. Even when Alex visited every morning she grew skittish. One of the detectives on her daughter's case was a skinny, harsh looking man that would set Tessa on edge. Having both him and Derek around her might send her sprawling backwards. They both knew that Tessa would be more comfortable with just her mother in with her, no matter how badly that hurt her father. Addison gently brushed some flyaway hairs that were falling out of her daughter's braid.

"Is that okay with you, Tess? Can I sit in with you?" the teenager just nodded, eyes downcast. This afternoon was going to be fantastic.

* * *

A knock sounded on Tessa's door at 3:30, two detectives standing in the open doorway. Addison stood up from the chair she had been reading a medical journal in to greet the officers.

"Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, is this a good time to talk to Tessa? It is rather urgent."

The skinny male detective scowled as he brusquely shook Addison's hand and entered the room. His partner, a smiling blonde woman with sympathetic brown eyes followed quietly. They introduced themselves as Detectives Martin and Bates, respectively. When Martin reached to shake Tessa's hand, the young girl shirked away and shook her head slightly. Addison jumped in at the offended look on the man's narrow face.

"Tessa gets a little nervous around strange men. Don't take it personally, Detective."

The stern looking man just nodded and pulled a small notebook out of his breast pocket. His demeanor was all business and right away, Tessa shut down, before the first question even left his mouth. Her thin arms crossed over her chest and her green eyes burned holes in the blanket covering her lower body, already on the defense. Detective Martin cleared his throat loudly before speaking.

"Tessa, I know this is difficult, but I need you to tell me what happened to you. The sooner you tell me, the sooner I can get the guy who did this to you and lock him up like the animal he is."

Detective Bates looked up from her own open notepad. Brown eyes searched Tessa's face and she quickly added, "But if at any point it becomes too much, we can stop. We don't want to upset you."

Her partner shot her a glare for undermining his words, but began. "Can you describe the man who took you?"

Tessa's eyes fluttered closed, as if the image of her monster was more vivid behind her closed eyelids. When her voice came out, it was cold and hard.

"Robert. Brown eyes and hair. 6'4, give or take an inch. He's overweight, but not by much. He didn't have a beard at first, but after a while he stopped shaving. He-he didn't have any unusual marks that I can remember, not even a weird mole. Wait! He does. He has a scar on his right forearm, about six inches long." Pride crept into her voice, and a smile spread her lips. "I gave him that scar. He left marks on me, and I left a mark on him."

Her eyes opened and she met the intrigued gaze of the two officers of the law. Their eyes were unreadable, but their body language said it all. Martin was still tense, writing quickly to keep up with her words, but Detective Bates was completely focused on the young girl's words. Her hands had fallen limp into her lap, notes forgotten. Even Addison seemed surprised. Her daughter was not one to hurt another person. She was much too sweet. Tessa waited patiently for the next prying question.

"That's very good Tessa. What do you remember about the day you were taken?"

Her eyes closed again as she searched her memory for the day that her life changed forever. She began to tell her story, starting from the moment she woke up. She had gone over her morning many times in the basement, wondering where she went wrong. Wondering if she hadn't stopped for coffee or taken the elevator if any of this would've ever happened.

"I woke up in a basement, with my ankles and wrists bound. I only had my underwear on. There was another girl there; she told me not to struggle, that he would be there soon to take them off me and put a chain on my ankle."

"And did he?"

A snort escaped Tessa as she nodded. "Oh, yeah. He came. He upgraded me to a chain and slapped me in the face. He left, and Violet- well, she was Chloe then- she explained the rules."

Detective Bates leaned forward, looking puzzled. "Rules? You had to follow rules?"

Tessa bit her lip as she tried to recall the way Violet had told her the rules. "Rule one, call him Daddy. If you don't, he hits. Rule two, do what he says, when he says it. If you don't he hits. Rule three, sex equals food. Rule number four, when he takes us out, do not run. If you do, he really hits."

Even Martin was too caught up in her story to remember to write. His face was still hard, but more like he was angry at the fact that he couldn't help her sooner. "That's only four. What's the last rule?"

Green eyes stared blankly out the window as the memories flooded her exhausted brain. "Pick a new name."

"Why?"

Tessa rolled her neck, trying to get the feeling of his hands on her out of her mind. He was still there. She was still his prisoner. He came back to hurt her at night, in her dreams where nobody could stop him. Sometimes they were so vivid and real she woke up thinking she was still in the basement, not a hospital room.

"So when he said disgusting things about or to me, he wouldn't use my real name. That was a part of me he couldn't take away. I picked Jenny."

A tear slipped down her face and Addison, who had been sitting quietly next to her daughter's bed reached to wipe it away. Pain for her daughter leaked out of her pores. But there was anger boiling under her skin as well. Anger at the man who put her daughter through it. Anger at the detectives sitting in front of her for making Tessa relive it all. And most of all, anger at herself for letting it happen. It was all too much. She cleared her throat loudly just as Detective Martin opened his mouth to ask another question.

"I think that that is enough for today. My daughter is still weak and gets tired very easily."

Tessa looked at her mother in confusion. Sure, this wasn't exactly the most fun topic to discuss, but she was doing okay. She could keep going.

"Mom, I'm fine. I can keep going."

Tessa turned her attention back to her investigators and nodded her head. The quicker they got all their answers, the sooner they could look for Robert. She needed to help. She had to help. Apparently, Addison didn't agree.

"No. Tessa, you've had a long day. They've got an enough for now. You need to rest, sweetheart."

Addison got to her feet and waited for Bates and Martin to do the same. Her right eyebrow rose slightly when neither did.

"I'm sorry, what part of we're done today did you not understand?"

Tessa raised her own eyebrows in surprise. Her mother wasn't usually so short tempered. Tentatively she reached out and grasped her mother's hand.

"Mom it's okay. I'm sure they only have a few more questions. I really don't mind."

The red head glanced down at her daughter in annoyance.

"Well maybe I mind, Tessa. The detectives can get answers some other time."

Before anymore tension could fill the already crowded room, the two cops quickly excused themselves and mother and daughter were left alone. Tessa had dropped her mother's hand as Bates and Martin had made their escape. A sigh escaped the woman as she slumped back down into the uncomfortable hospital chair. The young girl shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I knew I shouldn't have let you sit in. I knew it was too much."

Addison jumped to her feet and began to pace angrily.

"No, Tessa it is not too much for me. It is too much for you. I mean, hearing what happened to you, what you had to suffer through isn't exactly easy for me but I can handle it. I don't know why you think your father and I can't handle it. We want to help you, we really do, but you push us away every time we try. You have to stop that."

Tessa breathed deeply before meeting her mother's angry glare with her own sharp green gaze.

"I don't think you can't handle it; I know you can't. That stuff you heard today, that's just the tip of the ice-berg. That was only the first 24 hours. Thing went downhill real fast after that. You cry when they stick me with a needle. Do you really think you can hear about the many, many times a grown man raped me? You think you can hear that and not breakdown? Because, I'm sorry mom, but I don't have that much faith in you."

Addison gaped at her openly. She didn't recognize the harsh tone in her child's voice. "You don't need to worry about me, Tessa. You need to worry about yourself and getting better-"

"How can I possibly get better when you look at me and only see my injuries, huh? How can I heal when all you can think about when you hear my voice is how I must have cried out for you when he was on top of me? How?"

Tessa was staring her mother straight in the eye, waiting for an answer that Addison didn't have. Her daughter was almost right. She did see the marks and scars covering Tessa's body and felt immense guilt for not protecting her from them. When she tried to fall asleep after comforting Tessa in the wake of nightmare, she did wonder how much her daughter cried for her mommy and she wasn't there. But Tessa was only almost right. Addison also thought about the day that Tessa would walk back through her bedroom door for the first time in months and sleep in her own bed. She thought about the day that they would get a phone call telling them that the bastard was in custody. She thought about a genuine smile lighting up her baby's face.

"Tess, I when I look at you, I see my baby. I see my baby that I haven't held in months. I see the most wonderful girl in the world. I see my sweet girl hurt and all I want to do is make her better. When you speak, I hear you saying your very first word. I don't only see the parts of you that are hurt; I see all of you. What hurts you hurts me. So yes, I cry when they stick you with a needle because you used to too. Yes, it will be hard to know everything. But it will be even harder to know that you're going through it alone, when me and your dad our right here to take some of it off your shoulders. Your burden is much too heavy to let you carry it alone, so let me help."

Two pairs of green eyes stared into each other. Tessa's were still narrowed and angry, but they were starting to soften as her mother closed the distance between them. Addison lowered herself gently onto the foot of the bed, waiting for her child's hard shell to crack. With Montgomery blood running through her veins, it might take a while. But, Addison was prepared to wait. Tears were starting to pile up in Tessa's eyes and she pressed the heels of her hands into them. Crying solved nothing. Tears didn't fix anything. The crying needed to stop. A shuddering breath escaped her and she met her mother's patient gaze. "Okay."

"Okay, what?"

Addison turned her head to the side and waited for her daughter to continue. She had to know exactly what Tessa wanted.

"Okay, you can help me. I'll let you in. But, you have to tell me when it becomes too much. You have to tell me when you need a break, and I will tell you when I need a break. Do we have a deal?"

can, honestly." decide; i olice takised was gone, and she didn' that broke easher dad would'ic wing where Tessa had been relocA skinny, bruised arm reached out for Addison to shake. "Deal." Smiles brightened the room as middle ground was discovered. Recovery was a long road, but at least they were making the journey together. Tessa leaned back against her mound of pillows and closed her eyes. She had only gotten about four hours of sleep. Robert had been quite the visitor last night. This of course, did not go unnoticed by Addison. With a soft smile, she got up and cuddled close to Tessa. She buried her nose in Tessa's dark braid, comforted by the green apple shampoo.

"Sleep. Go ahead. I won't let anything get you."

* * *

Two hours later, Derek walked back into his daughter's room, clad in scrubs. He took in the sight of his girls cuddled up together in a hospital bed. Tessa had her had nestled in Addison's chest and his wife had her cheek resting on top of their child's head. Her green eyes opened groggily as her husband settled himself in the chair next to them.

"It went that bad?" Derek asked softly.

Addison lifted her head off Tessa's and smiled softly. Her eyes drifted down to her sleeping teenager and she whispered, "No, it really wasn't that bad. I got overprotective and made them leave after only a few questions."

"But she was okay?"

His wife bit her lip as she met his eyes. "She did great. She was so brave, Derek. The things she said… the things she experienced; nobody should be able to talk about them with a straight face, but she did. She just said them, like they were facts. I guess they kinda are. They are her facts."

They sighed simultaneously. Tessa shifted in her mother's arms, but settled down after Addison left quick kisses on her temple. Derek watched his daughter fall back into her peaceful sleep. He smiled as she rested her fingers against nose; she had done that since she was a newborn.

"Derek, she said she was going to open up. She said she'd let us help. We're making progress."

"That's great, Ad. I'm glad. Maybe she finally realized we're the grownups."

The red head looked up at her husband's words. "I think we haven't realized that's she's a grown up now, too. You can't be kidnapped and tortured for months and still be a child."

"But she is still a child, Addison."

Their voices had gotten louder and Addison swung her legs gently off of the bed. She beckoned for Derek to follow her into the hall and to close the door behind him. She positioned herself so she could still see Tessa, but turned her attention towards her husband.

"In a way, yes, she is still a child. She is our child and she will always be our child; but physically, mentally, and emotionally she is not a child. We are always going to see that smiling six year old on her first day of school. I think that's why she pushed away so hard. She knows that our little girl is gone and she wanted to keep us from knowing it too."

Derek knew that his wife was probably right; she could read Tessa better than anyone. But it was hard to accept. It was hard to accept that his baby was gone when he could see her seeing sleeping in the bed eight feet away. He just couldn't wrap his head around it.

"When did she get so wise? When did she start thinking she had to protect us?"

"The moment she woke up with her ankles and wrists bound."

The neurosurgeon flinched at her words, not expecting the vivid image that they brought to his mind. That was another thing he couldn't wrap his mind around. How could someone willingly hurt his sweet baby girl? And how could they still be walking around? Why couldn't somebody, anybody, try a little bit harder to put the son of a bitch in jail? Or better yet, in the ground.

"Well-what does she want us to do?"

A sigh left Addison's lips as watched her daughter sleep through the window. " I really don't know. We didn't get that far. She was exhausted, so I made her rest. I think we should ask to go to a therapy session with her, and then maybe talk to her shrink. That way we know exactly how much progress had made."

"Isn't that invading her privacy?"

"No, not when it pertains to her health. We are her parents. We are not prying, we are helping her heal." Addison paused, meeting her husband's eyes. " Frankly, even if it was prying, I'd still do it. I'll do anything to help her heal. Anything."

* * *

" _I am so completely in love with this little person. I am head over heels in love with a person who weighs 6lbs. 2oz."Addison cuddled her three hour old daughter as close to her chest as possible. The baby had just eaten for the second time in her life and had already drifted back to sleep. Derek was sitting against his wife's side as he stared down at his daughter's little face. Her little head was already covered with a layer of fuzzy dark hair; Derek's hair._

" _I am too, Addie. I'm also in love with the person who brought her into this world. I'm pretty infatuated with her, too."_

 _The young resident pressed a kiss to the red head's still slightly sweaty temple. Addie had been in labor for sixteen hours, and Derek had been there to hold her hand every minute. She would be the first to tell you that every agonizing contraction was worth it. The infant had hardly left the cradle of her arms since birth. She had been waiting for this for nine months._

" _We still have to name her."_

 _A loud clap of thunder echoed in the New York sky as the new parents discussed their baby's name. Addison had been excited when the storm had come in; she had said that it was good luck. It had been raining since they had gotten to the hospital and it showed no sign of stopping anytime soon._

" _Rain is a good sign, Der. It means new life. Its kinda perfect." She had huffed in between contractions. Derek had laughed when she said this. Leave it to Addison to worry about good juju as she brought their child into the world._

" _I hope this doesn't mean you want to name our daughter Rain, because I take issue with that."_

" _So do I. I didn't just give birth to a hippie, Derek. I really like Tessa. She looks like a Tessa, don't you think?"_

 _Addison looked back down at her baby, trying to memorize her every little feature. She still had a slightly squished face from being born, but there was no denying she had a beautiful little baby nestled in her arms. Tessa had been the name she had thought of as soon as she found out it was girl. She hadn't told Derek, afraid he wouldn't like her choice. They couldn't agree on any other names, though Emily had almost won. They had agreed to wait until they had actually met her and had the chance to hold her. Derek had to admit that Tessa fit his new little girl quite well. It was uncommon, but not arrogantly so. Derek had looked up the meaning of the name and though it was unclear exactly where it derived from, one of the possible meanings was a Greek word that meant summer. Even though winter was their season, his daughter was born on August 31, which was summer. And he liked having a little drop of bright sunshine in their snowy winter. His little sunshine; his Tessa._

" _She's a Tessa, Addie. Nothing else would fit her. Not even Derek Jr." Addison rolled her eyes at her husband's attempt at a joke and gently stroked her daughter's soft cheek with her index finger._

" _Tessa Adrianne Shepherd, it is lovely to meet you."_

" _Tessa Adrianne Montgomery Shepherd."_

 _Derek followed his wife's movements and lightly brushed a finger over Tessa's nose._

" _Are you sure, Honey? I really don't mind just Shepherd."_

" _Addie, she's a part of both of us. She should have both of our names. Plus girls with four names are ridiculously strong."_

 _Addison turned her head to meet her husband's lips in a loving kiss. They were parents and they had never been happier. Tessa was their miracle. The new mother turned to nuzzle her nose into her daughter's fuzzy hair. She smelled fresh and new; a perfect scent. If she could've bottled it, she would make a fortune. Her Tessa smelled like heaven in a 17 inch long package._

" _I read a study that said mothers could recognize the smell of their newborns after a few hours."_

 _Derek leaned down to get a whiff of the infant's head. She smelled like baby powder and roses, a combination he could get used to._

" _And is it true?"_

 _His wife smiled down at Tessa blissfully. "I could pick her out of anywhere. You name it and I could sniff her out. I could just spend hours smelling her. It's kind of calming-and kind of addicting. Is that weird?"_

" _No, Addie, it's not weird. It's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."_


	14. Welcome home

"What does it matter? Why do I need to say it?" Frustration swirled around the room with a vengeance as Tessa stared at her therapist. It was her last scheduled session before she could be released and all Tessa had to do was admit that she needed help. It was proving to be quite the challenge.

"You need to say it because it is true. You cannot get better on your own, Tessa. You need help, but you are refusing to let anyone help you. You told me that you promised to let your parents in and you did, you allowed them to sit in all of our sessions since, but that's all. I was hoping to see more progress by now, and certainly before I sign your discharge papers."

The blonde haired woman held up those beautiful, freeing papers tauntingly. Tessa's eyes locked onto them greedily and snapped back to her doctors' as she tucked them away again.

"You're not very nice sometimes."

With a slight smile, Dr. Taylor nodded at her patient. "You may be surprised to hear that you're not the first person to tell me that. And if you just say it, you only have to see my smiling face twice a month. Doesn't that sound tempting?"

A teenaged sigh filled the room. "I need help."

"Help with what?"

"Getting better. There, is that what you wanted to hear?"

Another smile from the therapist, this time a tad smug. "Yes. That wasn't that hard, was it?"

Tessa took a deep breath before answering the rhetorical question. "Actually, it was. I am the kid of two world class surgeons. I have been taking care of myself since I was eight. I have been trained not to need any help, to not admit that I need help. Needing assistance with anything makes me weak. That's the advice my grandmother gave me on my 11th birthday. So, yes it was that hard. Now sign the damn papers so I can leave this damn hospital!"

After a moment of staring at the teenager, Dr. Taylor scrawled her signature across the lines, releasing Tessa from her sanitary prison.

"Are you ready to go, Sweetie?" Addison hovered at the bathroom door where Tessa was changing into her street clothes. "Just give me a second, Mom." Tessa would be walking- well technically rolling, according to hospital policy- into the wide open world in a matter of minutes and she just needed a second. She needed a second to remind herself that she was safe; that nobody was going to take her away again. A moment to think about the fact she was leaving a part of the reason she was here behind. A huge, unforgettable, beautiful, brave smart-ass part.

Six days after being rescued, an infection settled in Violet's wounds. Antibiotics were pumped into her body vigorously, and she got better. And then, her kidneys failed. Her kidneys failed before then phone call to UNOS could be made. Her liver went next, and then her heartbeat stopped. Her heartbeat stopped as Tessa held her hand and promised to make sure that Robert ended up in prison. Violet died without ever being claimed by a family that had been missing her for 13 years. They showed up a day later. The police had run her DNA and facial recognition on her on the last good day. Turns out, her real name was Samantha Rogers. She had a mom and dad, as well as a little brother born six years after her disappearance; they left the hospital with tears and sobs and the body of the daughter and sister they never really knew. They left a more broken family than when they came in. Everyone had expected Tessa to lose it, and she did, for about 12 hours. She cried and screamed and beat her pillows until she was sedated. She woke up the next morning, calm and ready to talk. She assured her parents and therapist she was okay, that while Violet's death hurt like a bitch, she was okay with it. She was okay with it because she knew Violet was okay. Violet's biggest battle would be re-entering society, and it terrified her more than Robert ever could. She had told Tessa in the dark of night when they couldn't sleep that she almost hoped they couldn't find her family. "I can't live with a family I've never known; I can't be expected to just suddenly snap back in like a puzzle piece they couldn't find under the couch. I won't fit."

Tessa had just nodded and rubbed her friend's arm comfortingly. She had stayed until Violet finally fell asleep; not knowing that was the last conversation they would have. When Violet's family had been introduced to Tessa, she had smiled and told them they had a wonderful, strong daughter who had always dreamt of being with them again. She told Dr. Taylor that she had lied to them because there was no reason for hurting them anymore than they already were. She left out the part that she could hear Violet saying there had never been a bigger pile of bullshit in the universe.

"Tess? Are you okay? Do you need me?"

Addison's voice cut Tessa from her thoughts and back to the present. She was still standing in the bathroom; her feet planted in front of the mirror. Her green eyes traveled down the outfit her mother had brought for her to wear home. A Seattle Prep softball team long sleeved t-shirt, sweatpants and black Nikes. It felt amazing to wear real clothes again. After almost four and a half months of being naked or in a hospital gown, the simple ensemble felt like a million bucks. It felt great to feel like a person again. That was what she repeated in her mind when she felt overwhelmed. _She was a person again._

"I'm fine. I-I'm coming out." Tessa walked back into the hospital room to see a mass of people waiting eagerly for her.

"Surprise!" That was an understatement. The entire hospital was standing in front of her. Alex and Arizona, Callie and Amelia, Bailey and Ben, Edwards and Wilson; her family. A smile plastered on her face, she moved around the small room; sharing hugs and giggles. As she talked and mingled, every so often, some would reach out and touch her shoulder or grab her hand. Mundane, instinctive movements that happen to people every day. Things that shouldn't send Tessa's heart into her throat every time they occurred. She would spin around in the direction of the touch with wide, panicked eyes that sent the toucher into shame. They would sputter apologies and she would sputter reassurances until the awkwardness reached a boiling point. She could feel the small burst of energy she had woken up with this morning draining as more hugs enveloped her. Addison, ever the eagle-eyed mother, watched her daughter as her smile grew strained and her eyes screamed that it was too much. Without a second thought, she pushed through the throng of people to her daughter's side. Knowing better than to reach out for her, she cleared her throat softly and called her daughter's name.

"Tessa, are you ready to go home, sweetheart?"

Green eyes went wide as she moved from Catherine's Avery's prying questions to the safety of her mother's side. "Yes please," the teenager mumbled into her mother's shoulder. Her extended family was sweet for celebrating, but she wasn't ready for parties. She was hardly ready to speak to two people, let alone a dozen. Addison just smiled and instructed an intern to bring a wheelchair. People clapped and cheered as Tessa was wheeled waving down the hall. Her father pushed her eagerly through the lobby, chattering away with his wife about what they should make for dinner. Addison bent down to press a kiss to her daughter's cheek and whispered, "You're going home, baby. You're going home."

Tessa just smiled and looked out at the rainy sky. "Happy birthday to me."

* * *

With a nervous hand clasped around her mother's, Tessa made her way cautiously to the front door of her house. She could hear her mother's encouraging words in the background as the surgeon's hand reached out to unlock the door and push it open. A deep breath filled Tessa's lungs as the familiar foyer welcomed her home. Her mother's hand ghosted gently down her back, stopping at the small of her back for support.

"Take your time, baby. There's no rush."

Derek stopped just behind his girls, gently rubbing both of their shoulders. "Well, it is raining; that might make going inside a little more tempting," he joked lightly. Another deep breath came from Tessa, and then she started to speak.

"You don't know how long I have wanted to do this. I was so scared to never see this doorway again. I thought I would never do this again. I-I thought I was going to die in a basement chained to a wall."

Addison dropped a kiss on her daughter's head. "I know, baby, I know. But it's only going to get better from here. All you have to do is walk in."

One step was all it took to bring back into her home. It was just like she remembered it, not that she expected anything different. The same family pictures filled the beige colored walls; the same ugly vase that her mother insisted was priceless still sat on the little table by the staircase. A few more steps to the right took her into her kitchen. Her parents still followed cautiously behind her, as if they expected her to breakdown and start screaming, but she didn't pay them any attention. She took her time walking through every room on the bottom floor, just relishing in the fact that she could. There wasn't anything out of place really, except she noticed a slight increase of pictures of her in every room. Her face forever frozen in some form of a happy memory stared back at her. School pictures, family vacations, and even her newborn picture from the hospital sat on the coffee table. The young girl picked up the-as of today- sixteen year old photograph, and looked back at her mother who stood behind the sectional leather couch.

"This- was this always there?"

Addison bit her lip as she looked at her baby holding her first ever picture. "No, I moved it. I pulled all of your photos out one night, though now I can't remember why. I guess I thought having pictures of you surrounding me was almost as good as the real thing. Of course, I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm so sorry I don't have anything for your birthday, sweetheart. I tried not to think about it before you came back, and afterwards, well I just didn't have time to organize anything-"

"Mom, it's okay, really. I didn't expect a huge party or anything. Honestly, just being able to see you guys and be home is better than any present I could've asked for."

Addison sighed with relief and moved to hug her daughter. She closed her eye tightly as the unimaginable thought of never being able to wrap Tessa up in her arms again rolled in. Of not ever being able to kiss her forehead and tell her that she loved her baby again. It almost physically hurt, and to fight the thought off, she held Tessa tighter and pressed a lingering kiss on the crown of her head. Tessa pulled away first as a yawn escaped her. The red head immediately started ushering her daughter to her bedroom, ignoring the teenager's protests.

"Mom, Dr. Taylor said I need to get back into routine as soon as possible. Taking a nap at noon is not something I normally do. I really don't want to sleep anymore. Can we please just watch a movie or something?"

Addison met her daughter's pleading gaze and relented. "Fine, but we'll watch it in my room so you can lie down. Go pick a movie for us to watch."

Tessa flashed her mother a smile before dashing back into the living room to sift through the Shepherd movie collection. She almost ran into her father, her mind distracted by the cinematic master piece she planned on bringing back upstairs. His strong arms wrapped around her in a tight hug, and Tessa realized that she hadn't been completely alone with her father since her return. She leaned against him, squeezing him tightly.

"I missed you a lot, dad."

"And I, you kiddo. But we're all here now. I'm here now, sweetheart. Where you off to in such a hurry?"

Tessa pulled Derek into the living room with a sly grin. "Mom and I are going to watch a movie, so she sent me to pick one out. Wanna help?"

Derek laughed at his daughter's mischievous smile. "Only if I can watch too."

After much debate between father and daughter, Tessa's favorite comedy, _The Heat_ was the big winner. She said after the last few months, she deserved to laugh at stupid jokes and bad language. And though she would never admit it, it was one of Addison's favorites too. Derek told Tessa that he would be up in a minute, after gathering movie snacks. She raced back up the stairs towards her parent's bedroom. Addison had changed out of her jeans and sweater and into one of Derek's old shirts and pajama bottoms, her go to comfort outfit. Tessa smiled at the sight of her other looking so relaxed. It almost felt normal. Then, her eyes fell on the simple grey sweatshirt lying innocently on the foot of the bed. Addison saw her daughter's fixed gaze on her GSMH sweatshirt.

"I thought you might want to snuggle up in it. I know you usually only want it when you're sick but I thought it might be cozy."

Tessa just shook her head and whispered, "No, I don't want it. I don't ever want again. Please, please get rid of it."

With a concerned frown, her mother did as she requested. She stuffed the sweatshirt on the top of her shelf in her closet. When she emerged again, Tessa hadn't moved. Addison opened her mouth to ask what happened, but Tessa beat her to it.

"I really don't want to talk about it. I know I'm supposed to, but I just got home and I really just want to not think about him anymore."

Taken aback, Addison just nodded and climbed into her bed. Tessa shook her head as her mother beckoned for her to climb in next to her. "I just want to go get something, I'll be right back."

She hurried down to her bedroom, hardly hesitating before flinging the door open. It looked the same like she knew it would. Her bed was made messily, like she had done it in a rush, and her most prized possession sat right where she left her. Heddie the Owl was gift from her father when she was two. If she remembered the story correctly, the little stuffed animal became her best friend on 9/11, but that was a story for another time. She crossed her bedroom to pick up the ratty little toy and kissed the top of its head. Tessa ran back to her parents' room to find both of them waiting for her. Derek had already put in the DVD, and an array of snacks covered the bed. She smiled as she saw that her favorite movie candy sat right next to the big bowl of popcorn. Sour gummy worms were a treasure that must be protected at all costs. She clambered into the king size bed, nestling her and her owl right in between her parents. Addison leaned back on her pillows and gestured for Tessa to lean on her. The teenager did so happily, and smiled as she felt her mother's narrow fingers gently running through her hair. The movie did its job, making the family laugh mindlessly for an hour and a half. With nothing else to do, they put on another, this time one of Tessa's all-time favorites, _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban._ Her mother had groaned, as the amazing cinematic jewels creeped her out. Addison did not believe in magic.

"Hey, I'm only a dork 'cause you raised me to be one. Really, this is all your fault."

Derek laughed and joined in. "Yeah, Addie you were the one that insisted reading to her every night when you were pregnant. Our daughter wouldn't be such a nerd if you had watched some more baseball with me."

"Can we just get the movie over with, please? And it's not nice to gang up on the person who loves you most in the world. It's quite mean."

Tessa made a pouty face at her words, and reached up to press a kiss to her mother's cheek. She snuggled down in the blankets more as the familiar opening played out on the screen. The teenager didn't make it past the first half hour before she fell asleep, her parents serving as her pillow. When she awoke with a start(not from a bad dream, she just got cold) only her dad was left in the room. The TV was off; the movie had ended hours ago. Derek was knocked out at the foot of the bed, snoring like a water buffalo. Tessa chuckled softly as she got out of the bed and placed a kiss on his stubbly cheek. She wandered down the hall, pausing to stick her head in her parent's office, not entirely surprised not to find her mother there. Her search for the surgeon led her down stairs and into the kitchen, where her mother sat chatting softly with a brunette woman sitting at the island. Aunt Amelia. With a sly grin, Tessa crept closer, giddy with excitement. Neither woman had noticed her entrance. She tip-toed closer and closer till she could wrap her arms around her aunt.

"Gotcha!"

Amelia yelped in surprise and turned to face her now hysterical niece with a fake frown. "You just think you're so clever, don't you?" She asked as she reached out to squeeze the laughing teenager.

Tessa winced as her laughter subsided and her stitches ached. She hurried to reassure her mother and adored aunt she was alright.

"It's good. It was a good pain. What are you doing here, Amelia?" she questioned as she plopped down on the bar chair next to the older woman.

"Well, I kinda camped out here for your parents while you were gone. I wanted to grab some of my stuff before you went to bed, so you could get back into routine. Then, your mom informed of the dinner plans of Chinese takeout from that place on 5th, and seeing as it is my favorite place, I decided to stay for dinner. I was just about to go and wake you and your dad up when you gave me a heart attack."

Tessa opened her mouth to give her aunt a sassy retort when the doorbell rang. Her green eyes lit up with excitement and she scooped her mother's wallet off the counter and hurried to the door. She flung it open with a smile for the delivery guy, but it quickly fell away when she saw Detective Martin's sour face staring back at her.

"What are you doing here?"

Her words came out harsher than she meant, but the last time they spoke, Tessa had ended up in tears and the most horrifying experiences from the cabin had left her body in the form of words in a notebook.

"I'm not here for any more questions, if that's what you're thinking, so you can relax. I actually have some good news, and I thought you should hear it in person."

Tessa raised her right brow and nodded for him to continue. She really wasn't expecting the bomb he dropped.

"Your kidnapper is in custody."

* * *

 **DUH DUH DUH! Left you with a cliffhanger! Violet's death probably caught you off guard, but i just couldn't find a place for her in Tessa's life anymore. She will be missed. i hope everyone is doing well and thank you for sticking with me so far!  
**


	15. They got him

_Yourkidnapperisincustodyyourkidnapperisincustodyyourkidnapperisincustody_

The words played in a loop in Tessa's head. Martin's raised eyebrows indicated that he was surprised at her reaction, and she was too. When she imagined hearing those words in the past, she had imagined herself dancing in happiness, whooping in victory. She didn't expect total shocked silence. But, the loop wouldn't stop.

"Hey kid, what's the hold up?"

Amelia's voice echoed as she entered the foyer. An easy smile had been gracing her face, but her expression fell serious as she saw who stood awkwardly at the door. She closed the remaining distance between her and her niece and wrapped her arm around Tessa's shoulders protectively. Blue eyes narrowed suspiciously as she looked the man up and down. Her eyes didn't leave his as she shouted over her shoulder.

"Addison!"

Not a moment later, they heard the sound of her bare feet on the tile as she hurried towards them. "Does it really take three people to bring in take-out?" Her voice dropped off as she approached the doorway, taking in her daughter's pale face, her sister's protective glare and the stoic man standing in her entryway.

"What's going on?" Her sharp gaze had been focused on the detective but it was Tessa's soft, eerily quiet voice that answered her.

"They got him."

It only took a moment for Addison to understand who her daughter meant. Now perplexed to Tessa's reaction, her eyes flicked back to the awkward looking man still standing outside. With hurried movements, she gestured for Tessa and Amelia to step aside and allow the man in. she pulled her daughter from Amelia's arms and into her own. Tessa fell limply into her; like all her energy had been drained. Holding tight to the teenager, Addison turned back to Amelia, who had led the officer into the Shepherd's living room.

"Go get Derek, will you?"

The youngest Shepherd sister jogged quickly up the stairs, coming back down only a moment later with her big brother in tow. Even though he had just woken up, his blue eyes were already alert and searching for Tessa. When he noticed her still in the embrace of her red-haired mother, he relaxed his tense shoulders. He flew off the staircase to his family's side.

"What's going on? Amy said that a detective was here."

Addison jerked her head into their living room where they could just see the top of Detective Martin's head. With her hand cupping Tessa's shocked face to her chest, she met her husband's eyes with a loaded gaze.

"They've captured her kidnapper."

Derek felt his eyes widen in surprise. That was fantastic. So, why did Tessa look like the world was falling beneath her? Her green eyes were dull and blank. Brows furrowed, he flashed his wife a concerned look. She shrugged helplessly. Suddenly, Tessa pulled away from her mother and padded into the living room, joining the officer and her aunt. Her bewildered parents followed slowly, settling on to their large couch. Detective Martin cleared his throat and met the adults in the room eyes' before speaking.

"As of 5:45 this evening, the man we suspect kidnapped your daughter was brought into custody."

A quick glance at the wristwatch her aunt wore told Tessa that her monster had been in custody for over two hours.

"You suspect? You're not completely sure?"

Addison's voice was purely curious; no anger or hostility lacing her voice. Not yet, anyway.

"We have Tessa and Samantha's sketch of the man they called Robert, and while there is little doubt of his identity, we cannot be completely sure of his guilt until we get a confession. Though I might add, there is no doubt in my mind that this is him."

"How?"

The single word jumped out of Tessa's mouth and into the air around them. The adults shared nervous glances. They knew exactly what she meant, but did she really need the answer?

"I'm afraid that is classified information, at this moment. I'm sure as the investigation progresses-"

"NO!" with shout, Tessa slammed her hand down on the table, startling everyone. Her eyes sparked green flames as she stared the man down.

"I gave you all kinds of classified information. I told you the dirtiest, darkest things that he did to me, so now you tell me what you did to him."

Her normally sweet voice rang with an authority that nobody could ignore and her eyes burned submissive holes into the man's murky brown eyes. His normally tense shoulders sagged; he knew she was right. She, all of people, deserved to know.

"We went back to the crime scene, where you were stabbed. We sent a couple of uniformed officers in different directions, and one came back. He told us he had found a small, seemingly abandoned cabin, so we investigated." He paused, looking down. "I memorized that sketch, so when he opened the door I knew it was him. We quickly ordered him to his knees, and when he refused and tried to resist arrest, he was tased and handcuffed."

A laugh escaped Tessa and she shook her head. "He went back to that damn cabin. I knew he was stupid, but I didn't think he was that stupid." A shadow fell across her features and she spoke again.

"You went in? Was there a girl there?"

Detective Martin shook his head calmly. "We entered and cleared the entire top floor of the cabin. It was empty." Another heavy pause. "Then we opened the door to the basement."

He met Tessa's eyes with apologetic and sorrowful eyes. "I-I am so sorry that we didn't find you sooner. I am so sorry that we left you there for that long. I have been a detective for 12 years, all in Special Victims. I have never seen something like that before. I am so sorry."

A shaky breath escaped Tessa and she nodded. Her bottom lip quivered, but the tears didn't fall. "Do you have pictures?"

All eyes flew to Tessa as the question settled in the room. Addison studied her daughter's face closely, trying to see if she was serious. Of course, Tessa was unreadable. A cool mask had taken over the teenager's features, turning her into the perfect Montgomery.

"What?"

The simple word from Detective Martin summed up everyone's thoughts.

"I want to see the pictures. You must have some crime scene photos or something. I want to see them."

"Absolutely not." Derek's commanding voice shut down the request immediately. Green eyes flashed against blue; Tessa wasn't expecting any arguments. Her eyes flicked back to the once again stoic man sitting across from her.

"I'm afraid I don't have any pictures with me, and even if I did, I don't think it is a good idea for you to see them."

A smirk twisted Tessa's face. "That's not really your call, is it?"

"Hey, watch your tone." Addison's "mom" voice called Tessa's attention to her. The red head hid her surprise at the hostility in her daughter's eyes; that was new.  
"Why do you need to see pictures of…that place?"

Tessa scoffed loudly. "You don't get it. None of you get it. It's not over. I'm home and he's in custody, but it's not over. There's still a trial to go through, and all the crap I deal with every day. It. Is. Not. Over. But seeing those pictures, seeing police tape over that door, that just might make it a little easier to believe that at least part of it is over. That's why."

A symphony sighs echoed around the room; everyone was drained. Abruptly, Tessa stood up and everyone followed. The dull glaze over her eyes hadn't left and the cool façade she had slipped on was starting to crack. Derek cleared his throat and cut his eyes to the door, signaling that it was time for the detective to go. Just as the party reached the foyer, the doorbell rang loudly, cutting through the heavy silence. Tessa flinched, backing into Amelia's safe arms. Addison felt her heart break a little at the sight of her daughter, just a moment ago spitting fire, now cowering in fear of something so simple. But at least dinner was finally here. With a heavy sigh, Addison grabbed her wallet that Tessa left on the table by the front door. The delivery guy stood there with a paper bag full of food and a bored expression. As he left with his change, Detective Martin turned to face the Shepherd's pale faces. Before he said a word, Tessa broke free from Amelia and dashed up the stairs. Addison instinctively moved to go after her, but her sister in law beat her to it.

"Let me try something?"

While Amelia ran to check on the teenager, Addison and Derek turned back to the man standing in front of them. He still wore the distressed look he had used when he had apologized to Tessa.

"I didn't mean to upset her, I just didn't think she should hear about it on the news or have some rookie call you. I'm sorry I pushed her, I thought I was doing the right thing-"

Addison cut him off with a small smile. "You didn't do anything wrong. You actually did it just right; I think it's just been a long day. She needs to be pushed; she likes to be pushed. Well, actually, she likes to push back even harder, and that's what she did. Believe it or not, you did some good for her today. I just can't figure out why she's not relived about him being captured. That's the only thing bothering me."

Derek wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulders supportively. "Maybe that's what Amy's finding out."

Upstairs, Amelia prowled around in search for her niece. She went to her brother's bedroom first, thinking that the teenager would hide in there first. She wasn't there, nor was she in the bathroom. Finally, she peeked into Tessa's dark bedroom, expecting to see a lump curled up on the bed. No such luck. Her heart rate started to increase as panic began to set in.

"Tessa? Where are you, kiddo?"

A sniffle came from her left; from Tessa's closet. She quickly opened the door to discover her niece cowering in the corner of her closet. Amelia sighed and quickly got down to sit next to Tessa.

"Can I turn on the light? I really want to see your beautiful face while we talk."

The brunette heard a quiet 'yes' from the teenager, and reached up to switch on the light. Amelia turned to look at Tessa. She had her knees pulled close to her chest and her chin resting on them. The young girl took a deep breath and spoke softly.

"I'm sorry I overreacted down there. I just thought that if I could actually see that the cabin was empty, it would make it easier. I thought I could handle it, but here I am, hiding in a closet because the doorbell rang. How could I think that I could see my prison and be perfectly fine? I am a chicken. I am a loser. I am pathetic."

"Hey! I don't want to hear you talking about my favorite person like that. You are not pathetic, or a loser. You have survived a traumatic experience and you are allowed a few meltdowns. You have an overflow of emotions rattling around in that brilliant brain of yours and you're just trying to process them any way you can. Basically, you're amazing."

Tessa scoffed and rolled her eyes. "I am not amazing. I am a freak who can't function in society."

Amelia grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. "You just got home this morning. You haven't even been in society yet. You just need to give yourself a little time. I know you want to get back to normal but you can't rush it. It'll only make things go slower."

Tessa turned her head away from her aunt and sniffled again. She was trying her hardest not to cry, to not let Amelia know how upset she was. But, Aunt Amelia had been her best friend since before she knew what a best friend was. She knew better.

"Why are you crying? What else is bothering you that you're not telling me?"

Amelia reached out and gently brushed away some wisps of curly hair from Tessa's face. The teenager turned back to her, now not hiding the tears.

"I know I said I was okay with Viole- Samantha, whatever you want to call her, being dead, and I am. I know she wasn't going to be able to go home with that family. She just couldn't have done it. But I feel like I failed her. I told her we would be the ones to live and see to it that Robert was arrested. I told her he that if she was gonna die, it wouldn't be because of him. I failed her. I am glad that they got him, I just wish they could've gotten him sooner."

Amelia nodded and pulled her niece against her. "You didn't fail her, kiddo. You saved her life. Yes, she died, and yes it was from complications of her wound that she got from him, but you got her out of there. And Robert is in jail; you did put him away. And wherever she is, she so proud of you for getting it done. Just like I am. You helped get him in custody and you are going to put him away to rot. And you wanna know why? Because you are freaking amazing, that's why."

Despite herself, Tessa could feel a smile creeping its way on to her face. "You really think that?"

Amelia smiled right back at her and squeezed her hand harder. "No, I don't think that. I _know_ that, kiddo. Now, there is a lovely pile of General Tso's chicken calling your name, and Kung pow chicken calling mine. Let's go eat."

The two brunettes hurried down to join their family in the kitchen. Addison had laid out the takeout and Derek had already dug into his lo mien. He smiled when he saw Tessa following his sister with a smile. The teenager grabbed her dinner and perched herself onto the island, laughing when Addison began to scold her. If someone were to walk by and peek in at them through a window, they would seem normal. A laughing child, a beautiful woman pressing a kiss to her cheek; a handsome man happily watching his wife and daughter and a smiling aunt to complete the picture. If someone were to peek in at them, they wouldn't see what all they had been through. They wouldn't see addiction, affairs, or a traumatized girl. They would see a happy family. Because, despite all the horrible things that the Shepherds had survived, they were happy. People who knew the whole story of their lives often wondered how they managed to stay together, but the answer was obvious. They still had each other; no matter what. Tessa realized that as she sat there, eating dinner with the people she loved most in the world. She looked down, smiling into her chicken. Addison noticed, and went to lean against the island Tessa was sitting on.

"What are you so happy about?"

Tessa looked up at her mother and said, "I love you guys."

* * *

" _Addie? There's someone here to see you." Derek walked softly into his wife's hospital room in case his exhausted wife was sleeping. Following closely behind him was his 16 year old sister, Amelia. He had hurried to pick her up from a friend's house in the city shortly after he and Addison had settled on a name for their daughter. Though it had never been said out loud by him or Amy, there was no denying that she was his favorite sister. That's why she got to meet Tessa before anyone else in the family._

 _The red head smiled tiredly from her hospital bed at the teenager. Tessa was currently in the nursery, getting another newborn check-up. Four hours old and already in possession of her parent's hearts. And soon, her youngest aunt's._

 _Amelia followed her brother shyly, even though Addison was basically another sister to her. She quietly obliged when Addison beckoned her closer and bent to give her a gentle hug. The brunette barely wrapped her arms around Addison before pulling back._

" _I won't break if you give me a hug, Amelia. I may have just given birth but I can handle a good squeeze."_

 _Amelia rolled her eyes, but gave her friend a tighter hug. "So, where is the poop machine?"_

 _Derek frowned at his sister from his perch on the end of his wife's bed. "Hey, don't call my daughter a poop machine. Besides, you really have no room to talk. You could go through more diapers in a day than most babies in a week."_

 _Amelia opened her mouth to give her brother a stinging retort when a nurse appeared at the doorway, pushing a clear bassinet. Addison immediately smiled and reached her arms out eagerly for the infant. To her surprise, Tessa was actually awake._

" _Hi baby girl. There's someone here that really wants to meet you."_

 _Her green eyes flicked up to Amelia's blue ones and widened in concern when she saw tears glistening in them._

" _Amy? What's wrong?" Only a few people were allowed to call the teenager Amy, usually only Derek or her mother, but every now and then the nickname slipped from Addison's lips. She ignored her sister in law; focused completely on her new little niece. She finally answered after a few heart beats of staring._

" _No-nothing. It's just… what if she doesn't like me? What if she knows instinctively that I'm bad and never stops crying when I hold her? What if she already hates me?"_

 _Derek got up and rubbed his baby sister's shoulders gently, understanding what she was worried about. He had never admitted it, but he considered the thought too. When Addison had first told him she was pregnant, Amelia had been in rehab. She had taken his prescription pad and used to get feed her oxy addiction, and Derek didn't want his future child anywhere near her. But, in the nine months that had passed, she had gotten clean and into med. School. She had turned her life around and Derek had forgotten the traitorous thought, until this moment._

" _Tessa will love you so much, Amy. She'll love you because you love her. She doesn't know your past, or think you're a bad person. She'll just love you as unconditionally as you love her."_

 _The teenager looked up at her brother uncertainly but nodded anyways. She looked back at the smiling red head and quiet baby._

" _Do you wanna hold her?"_

 _Amelia nodded hesitantly and sat down next to her sister. With three much older sisters, she had long since been trained on how to properly hold a baby, and instinctively cradled Tessa against her chest as Addison slipped her into her arms._

" _Amy, meet Tessa. Tessa, meet your Aunt Amy."_

 _Amelia's heart was stolen right out of her chest, the beats now belonging to the little girl in her arms. The newborn looked up at her with cloudy blue green eyes; it didn't matter if they later turned blue or green. Either would be perfect for the gorgeous little baby. Tessa fit perfectly against her like she was meant to be in her arms._

" _Oh, hi little one," she breathed softly in complete awe. Addison and Derek smiled proudly at them; knowing that their daughter had just made her first best friend. Amelia seemed to have forgotten that there were two other people in the room. She could just see Tessa, the little girl she had to protect from this big bad world._

" _I've done some bad things Tessa, but I promise I will always do the right thing from now on so you'll always have me to look up to and be proud of. You're my reason to do well in this world. I will always be there for you, no matter what. If your mom and dad are driving you crazy, then you come straight to me. You have a lot of aunts and they'll all love you to death, but they're not your Aunt Amy. You gotta keep that in mind, kiddo."_

 _Amelia finally acknowledged Addison and Derek with a delighted smile. "She's so perfect, I just can't believe it. I can't believe I love her so much already."_

 _Derek chuckled softly as he gazed at his daughter's little hat covered head. They had dressed her for the first time in a little purple footie onesie, though the heart meltingly cute outfit was hidden beneath the blanket she was swaddled in. he may be a little biased, but she did seem pretty perfect. He was one lucky guy, surrounded by this much perfect. He looked up from Tessa's face to see tears in his unbreakable baby sister's eyes. She looked completely overwhelmed with happiness and he opened his mouth to ask why, but then he noticed. He noticed that his daughter had an iron clad grip on her index finger._

" _Ames, I told you she would love you. She loves you first; you're her first friend."_

* * *

 **So, i really think that if Derek and Addison had had a daughter on the show, Amelia would be the person she was closest to, so that's how it'll be here. Plus, i just really love Amelia's character and her relationship with Addison! How excited is everyone for the season premiere this week?! I CANNOT WAIT!**


	16. Big day

**I'm back! i really tried to get the new chapter up last week, but we had six weeks tests in EVERY class (that's seven tests in two days) but it's up now! i hope everyone likes the chapter and don't be shy! leave a review! Thanks for reading!**

* * *

School started today. The thought struck Tessa as she awoke from a night of tossing and turning. She had always loved school and always looked forward to the first day. Until this one, of course. There were no butterflies that flew in her stomach, encouraging her for days prior. In fact, it had even snuck up on her. She had completely forgotten about school until her mother had mentioned it. She had simply said that there was no pressure for her to go yet, if she wasn't ready. Tessa had nodded and said she'd think about it. That was three days ago, and not another word had been said about it. She wasn't ready. She wasn't ready for the blank stares of classmates and the pitying glances from teachers all day. Tessa was completely prepared to stay in bed all day and avoid all human contact. So, when she found herself tossing off her blankets and moving to her closet, she couldn't quite believe it.

Normally, the outfit she would put on for the first day would have carefully planned out days ago and left hanging on the other side of her closet, waiting to be put on. But, that was not the case this year. It was 6:45, ironically the time she would normally get up for school. She had plenty of time to pick out the perfect ensemble, so she leisurely plucked through the shirts and jeans hanging up, though she already had an outfit in mind. Maybe she had always planned to go, but the idea was tucked in the back of her mind until this morning. The thought of just wearing leggings and a sweater crossed her mind; she had been through a horrific ordeal and nobody would expect her to be dressed to the nines, but she had been trained from a young age to always look her best on the first day, so the lazy thought was discarded almost immediately. She pulled out a simple maroon V-neck and a dark pair of cropped jeans and laid them out on her bed, and tucked her pair of grey high tops underneath them. She pulled on a sports bra and spandex before putting on her regular clothes. It made the jeans fit a little tighter, but they had their athletics period right in the middle of the day, much to every girl's displeasure. Honestly, Tessa wasn't sure if she wanted to play any sports this year. Usually, she was the star of her school's swimming team and a pretty fair midfielder on the soccer field. But she obviously hadn't worked out all summer and she knew that would be seriously out of shape. Then again, if anyone gave her crap about it, she could remind them what she had been through and dump a large pile of shame on the top of their head. But, she wasn't one to milk sympathy out of anything.

Getting dressed wasn't difficult; it actually made her kind of excited. Make up was never her style, so all she had to do now was her hair. After her shower last night, she had her mother French braid it and as she undid it, Tessa decided to leave as it was; wild and wavy. The brunette picked up her backpack from the foot of her bed. It wasn't new; in fact it was the same bag Tessa had been using they day she had been taken. All of possessions she had left behind that day had been given back to her parents after they had been checked for evidence and Tessa was thrilled to have it back. She wasn't sure why it had always been so special to her; it was honestly quite plain. It was denim and worn and the only decorations on it were pins with quotes from her favorite books on them. Addison had picked up some basic supplies the day she had mentioned school and Tessa had tucked them inside her bag right after they had been placed in her hands. A composition book, binder full of loose leaf paper, a few folders, and pens and pencils were all she had. The teachers would give out specific supplies on the first day. She was dressed and her bag was settled on her shoulders. She was as ready as she could be. Figuring her parents were not yet awake, Tessa crept down the stairs at 7:10. As she rounded the corner to enter the kitchen, the young girl heard the rattle of a cereal box and saw that the light was on. Someone was awake. She entered the kitchen hesitantly, not knowing who to expect. Her green eyes widened when she saw both of her parents moving around quietly, making their own breakfasts. Addison noticed her first, and smiled boastfully at her husband.

"You owe me five bucks, dear husband. Our girl's going to school today." Derek looked up from his newspaper and grinned at his daughter.

"Now wait a minute, I bet that she would go, just later in the day."

Addison chuckled over her coffee. "You still owe me five bucks, Der. A bet's a bet."

Tessa rolled her eyes as she walked over to the fridge. "Making bets on the traumatized child going to her first day of school. Quality parenting, really."

Her mother wrapped an arm around her in a quick hug with a smile. "I only make bets when I know I won't lose. My girl loves school too much to miss for anything."

Tessa sighed as she ate some yogurt and a previously made fruit salad. "You almost lost. I was really tempted to just stay in bed and binge watch TV again," she paused, not looking at her parents. "It's still an option."

Derek shook his head and stood up. "No it's not. You know that you have to go today. It's not going to be easy; the spotlight's going to on you for a while. But, if you had gone later today or later this week, the light would be even brighter, and stay on you longer. But, if it's gets to be too much, you can always call and we'll pick you up. We'll be there in a heartbeat, right Addie?"

Addison smiled and dropped a kiss on Tessa's head. "Of course. Are you ready? It's almost 7:30."

Tessa nodded and hurried back upstairs to brush her teeth. She stared at herself in the mirror, trying to see what everyone will see when she walked into the commons of her high school later. She didn't look all that different from last year. Her hair was longer and she seemed thinner; her collar bone still stood out so sharply it looked painful. Underneath her clothes, her stab wounds were still healing and faded bruises stained her skin sickly yellow. The biggest difference was in her eyes. Her eyes that normally sparkled with friendliness and warmth were now wide and had a haunted look about them. Her eyes said that she had seen things that would send most people running towards a therapist. Those green eyes showed the scars that had healed on her body. Her eyes would scare people, but there was nothing she could do about it.

She was surprised to see that both of her parents were waiting for her when she came back down. She raised an eyebrow at them as she stood on the last step.

"You guys do know that it's my first day of sophomore year and not kindergarten, right? It's not that big a deal."

Derek shot Addison an irritated look before looking back at Tessa. "We, uh have to talk to your principal. They called the other day to ask if you were coming and when we said yes they said to come in with you to go over your sensitive situation. Your mom was supposed to tell you."

The teenager rolled her eyes. "Sensitive situation? Are they worried that I'll freak out in the middle of the cafeteria and try to kill myself?"

Addison winced at her daughter's word and cleared her throat. "No, Tess, they aren't worried about that . They understand that this will be a big step for you and they want to make it as easy as possible, that's all. But, your counselor wants to go to her office and talk to her this morning. I believe she might be concerned that you aren't ready to come back, and wants to test your mental stability."

"So she's worried that I'll freak out and kill myself. I'm fine. I don't need or want any special treatment from them. I can deal with it."

"I'm sure you can, but we still need to talk to them. I know you don't like to admit it, but you have some… triggers that they need to be warned about."

Tessa narrowed her eyes at her parents. "What triggers?"

Addison shared an awkward look with Derek before speaking again. "Well, you get kind of skittish when you're in a crowd, and being touched without warning leaves you shaking…"

Her voice died off as Tessa moved to the front door, rolling her eyes. "Fine, talk to them, but if I end up being escorted to each class I'm dropping out."

Seattle Prep was only about twelve blocks away from the Shepherd's household, and most days Tessa would walk there and home, but Addison promised to be there at 3:15 to pick her up. None of them were ready for Tessa to walk anywhere by herself. Almost too soon, they were there. Tessa hopped out first; taking a deep breath as the kids she had gone to school with for years mill around the doors. They hadn't noticed her yet. But, it wouldn't take long for someone to spot her and then the whispers would start. The pointing and staring and open-mouthed gaping would soon follow. And even if they didn't notice Tessa herself, they would notice her Seattle-famous parents. It was hard to miss Addison Montgomery and Derek Shepherd. The green eyed girl waited for the sound of the car doors to close before she started walking towards the front doors of the tall brick building.

"Honey, wait." Tessa stopped at the sound of her mother's voice and she closed her eyes in relief that she hadn't called her Tessa. Addison walked closely to her daughter as they entered the school. She wanted to make sure that Tessa was alright before they went their separate ways. Tessa would go to her counselor and they would head to the principal. The young girl seemed to read her mother's mind, because before Addison could say a word, Tessa wrapped her arms around her waist. Her green orbs peered up at her, and Addison smiled at the sight of nervous excitement shining in them. Even though today would be undoubtedly difficult, her little nerd was still excited about her first day of school.

"I'll be okay, mom. Try not to worry too much today, all right? I know you're only a phone call away."

The red head smiled at her grinning daughter and brought her hand from Tessa's shoulder to tuck a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "And I know you're way too stubborn to even consider calling me to pick you up early," She paused as she watched her child's cheeks redden slightly and knew she was right. Even if today turned out to miserable, Tessa was going to make it to the end.

"I don't want you to worry about us, either. I have a few patients today, and your dad is just checking on post-ops, so we'll have plenty to keep us distracted. 3:15 will be here before you know it. I love you, Tess."

Tessa smiled shyly at her mother before giving her one last squeeze and turning to her counselor's office. Here goes nothing. Mrs. Clarke was a short, sharp-looking woman with startling blonde hair. Her nose came to a rather abrupt point that reminded Tessa of a beak. Her smile was obviously forced as she welcomed Tessa in. What a comforting face to be welcomed to on her first day.

"Tessa! I'm surprised to see you here today!" That was another quirk Mrs. Clarke had. Everything was said with an element of surprise. Tessa smiled back as she sat down across from the counselor. The least she could do was at least pretend to be happy to see the woman.

"I couldn't miss the first day of school; it goes against my genetic code."

The smile plastered to Mrs. Clarke's face faltered a bit. It only slipped for a moment, but it was enough for the young girl to notice. The counselor chuckled awkwardly before speaking again.

"No, I mean I'm surprised you're in school period. It just seems like a big step for…what you've been through to come back so soon."

A confused frown formed mockingly on Tessa's face. "And what exactly have I been through, Mrs. Clarke?"

Now, the older woman looked obviously uncomfortable. "I am only looking out for your well-being, Tessa. Your story has been all over the news and the internet. In fact, some people are calling you a hero. A lot of attention will be following you around for a while and that's a lot of pressure-"

"If I can handle being beaten and raped, I think I can handle a few nosy teenagers, Mrs. Clarke. I appreciate your concern, but school is where I need to be. I can't let my GPA fall behind. So, do you have my class schedule?"

Mrs. Clarke nodded numbly and shuffled through papers until she found Tessa's schedule. Tessa hadn't meant to be so harsh with the woman, but she was already on edge, and she snapped. She smiled genuinely at Mrs. Clarke as she left the small office to make up for her snap. It was 7:50, so she only had ten minutes to spare before class started. As she walked down the familiar hallway, she glanced down at her schedule, trying to memorize it. She was pretty happy with it; they had picked out classes at the end of last year and was happy to know that she had gotten in to every class she wanted. She had French first, which was perfect. She liked having her harder classes in the morning. Algebra 2 and Health were next, followed by honors English, her favorite class. Her afternoon was filled with AP Biology, World history and a study hall for last period. Of course, there was athletics, right before lunch. Her eyes flicked up just in time to see her parents walking out the front door, arm in arm. Sometimes they were so in love, it was gross. An inkling of anxiety twisted down her spine as the door closed behind them. School was a welcome distraction and piece of normalcy, but her parents had become her safety blanket over the past few weeks, knowing the little things that sent her nerves singing and how to avoid them. Her mother had said that they were going to tell her principal, but the other students didn't know not to grab her arm or sneak up behind her, things her friends had liked to do. Then again, that probably wouldn't be a problem today. Or any other day for the rest of the semester. She'd been spotted.

All across the commons, teenaged eyes found themselves glued to the girl standing awkwardly next to the main hallway. Eyes widened in surprise and narrowed in suspicion; possibly even in disgust. What a great way to start off the year. Two girls that Tessa knew very well, her best friends actually, started for her. Liv and Evie. Their eyes were shining brightly and their mouths were open in disbelief. Liv reached for her, her mouth just forming Tessa's name when the bell rang. Tessa jumped and then turned down the hall, scurrying to class before anyone could speak to her.

French was over too soon, and Mr. Lewis sent her off with a withered sympathetic smile towards algebra. The class had been small; only twelve seats were filled and ten of them were seniors just filling a class. The only other underclassman in the room was a nervous little freshman who hadn't spoken a word except his name. It had been bliss for only 45 minutes. Math had never been her strong suit, her calling had always landed in English, so the sophomore walked into the barren classroom with an already grumpy disposition. It only grew worse when she saw Liv sitting in the front row. Tessa bit her lip as she slipped into the seat closest to the door. As if she knew, the ginger haired girl who was unarguably her best friend turned around. Her hazel eyes shined with hope as she gathered her bag and slipped into the desk right next to Tessa.

"Hi." Liv started small, testing her boundaries.

Despite herself, Tessa felt a smile form as she glanced shyly at her friend. "Hi, Liv. How was your summer?"

Liv bit her lip nervously, feeling like the question was a slippery slope. She couldn't ask how Tessa's was, could she?

"It was good, nothing spectacular. How's uh, your schedule?"

Tessa smiled as comfortingly as she could to her friend. Liv was a hot head, relying on her sharp wit and scalding sarcasm to get her through the day. That's why she and Tessa had become best friends in the seventh grade; they could shoot stinging slugs at each other and end laughing at the well-meaning insults later. But, she was insanely loyal and when put to the test the perfect shoulder to cry on. The other part of their trio, Evie, was unnaturally sweet. Always thinking of others first, she spent most of her afternoons volunteering at a variety of animal shelters and youth centers. They weren't part of the popular crowd by any means, but they were well liked enough and they had each other. That's all they needed.

"It's good, Liv. Let's switch." The two teenagers snatched up each other's class schedule and studied them for the same classes. Only Algebra and study hall were printed on both of their schedules, much to their disappointment. They switched back just in time to see Mrs. Colt come in. This class was huge; all 25 desks were filled. The teacher handed out her class expectations and they had the last 15 minutes to do as they pleased. Liv had shot concerned glances at Tessa throughout the introduction and explanation of the rules. They were sweet, but Tessa had to put a stop to them. That wasn't how the two operated.

"Liv, I'm okay. I'm back and I just want to get back to normal, so if you look at me like that again, I'll punch you."

Liv's cheeks turned almost as red as her hair. "Whatever. You know just as well as I do that I could easily kick your ass."

That was true; the sixteen year old had a yellow belt in karate. Conversation turned much lighter after the air had been cleared. The girls discussed athletics and Liv had informed her of who had hooked up with whom over the summer. The bell rang and they went their separate ways. Health was a bore, as Tessa had learned most of the semester topics before elementary school. English was as good as she hoped; she had been looking forward to this class since last year. It only got better when she saw Evie sitting in one of the desks. Evie had a smile that could put anyone in a good mood. She'd heard amazing things about her teacher and so far, they were true. Mrs. Mackenson had a passion for reading almost as big as Tessa's and was the first teacher to not give her the same patronizing, sickeningly sympathetic look. She loved her already. Her admiration only grew when she learned that their first assignment was an essay over the students' favorite book, and the pupil with the best essay would choose their first reading assignment.

"This is one of my favorite assignments because you really get to know your students, and it's more exciting than your average 'what you did over the summer essay', although, I think at least one of you would have quite a story to tell."

The tall woman had winked at Tessa, and Tessa found herself grinning back. It was a macabre joke, but she'd been the only one brave enough to make it. All too soon, the bell rang and most of the class raced to the locker rooms to change. Oh god, the locker room. She would have to change in the midst of 60 other girls who would all see her scars and gashes in all of their disgusting glory. At least she'd have Liv to threaten them off.

Her eyes searched for her locker in the huge locker room. The school's athletic department had been redone a year ago and the money had mostly focused on the girl's department, so they received everything from new uniforms to a new locker room and workout equipment. The locker room was divided with current varsity sports on one side with their own set of showers and offseason and JV on the other with their own. Her locker was right next to a volleyball player she never knew well, and before any pleasantries could be exchanged, Tessa grabbed her clothes and hurried into the dark corner of the showers and changed as quickly as her injuries would allow. She hadn't been cleared to work out yet by Dr. Grey, but she still had to dress out. As she walked into the gym for roll, she felt all eyes immediately fall on her. Somehow, the teenager had managed to dodge her classmate's awkward greetings and stares, but there was no class to hurry to, and most of these girls were teammates. She could talk to them. All of the sudden, a half dozen girls scurried towards her, including Liv. Tessa froze, not expecting them. Part of her soccer team ran at her and wrapped their arms around her. There were excited screams in various levels of loudness. She'd never been so warmly welcomed from a herd of teenage girls before. A smile grew on her face as hugged them back. Anna, the team captain and Tessa's Big Sister since freshman year pulled back first.

"It's good to see you, Shepherd. I was worried I would have to replace before the season started."

Tessa shrugged her shoulders. "You may still have to, Anna. I'm not cleared to work out yet, so no drills for me."

The older girl just shook her head, her tight braids swinging. "No, you'll be back on the field in no time; it's already calling your name!"

A loud whistle was blown and Tessa jumped in her skin. Coach Peters had emerged in all of her tracksuit glory. She was Tessa's personal hero.

"Welcome back, ladies! For the next hour, you are all my responsibilities and in my personal term, my babies. Freshmen, I am Coach Peters, soccer coach and girl's head coach. Any problems, you come to me. You cause any problems you are sent straight to me. Is that clear?"

Her question was met with a round of resounding 'yes ma'ams,' and her blue eyes sparkled. Her gaze moved through the room, finally settling on her sophomore midfielder.

"Tessa!" Her name shot out of her mouth and across the gym like a bullet. Tessa walked over quickly and was pulled into the strong embrace of her coach.

"I've never been so happy to see a kid at the start of the year in my life. How ya' doing, girl?"

"I'm good, coach. I'm sorry I'm not ready to play, or even practice, but as soon as I'm cleared, I'll be back out there."

The athletic woman pulled her short blonde hair back into a ponytail as she stared at Tessa. "I don't want you to rush, now. I need you back in shape, not passing out on the track. We've got a timed mile today, but maybe you should just walk the track. I actually won't even be out there. We have a varsity coach meeting, so the new girl will be out there. Coach Evans. She's nice, but young. If she seems a little nervous, just listen to Anna; she knows what to do."

Her coach walked off, and Tessa turned to follow her team out to the track. It was bright and sunny out, but not unbearably hot. The girls all moaned as they heard what they would be doing today. Coach Evans _was_ young; she must have just graduated. Her shiny brown hair was pulled back into a French braid, and it only made her narrow face seem even sharper. Her big brown eyes darted nervously between the teenagers, looking out of her element.

"All- all right ladies, you've got a mile in less than eight minutes. If anyone doesn't make it, you've all got an extra lap. Go!"

The team took off, all except Tessa. Liv sent her a look over her shoulder as she merged with the pack; they were running buddies. Tessa just waved as Liv took off. From behind, Coach Evans cleared her throat.

"Is there something wrong with your hearing? Get going!"

Tessa turned around with a patient smile. "I can't work out today, coach. I'm injured."

"Oh, is that so? What's your name?"

Tessa swallowed before answering. "Tessa Shepherd, coach."

The young woman checked the clipboard in her hand and smirked. "Oh, the other coaches warned me about girls like you. Think you can pull the wool over my eyes just because it's my first day? I have a list of who isn't allowed to run, and your name isn't on it. I should make you run two miles just for lying to me. Get a move on."

Still, Tessa didn't move. Her patience was still intact, and if this newbie would just let her speak, it would stay that way.

"My name probably isn't on the list because everyone knows I can't work out-"

"And why is that such common knowledge to everyone except me?"

Tessa quirked an eyebrow at her coach and opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it, reconsidering her thought.

"You don't recognize me?"

Evans clenched her jaw and raised her eyebrows impatiently. "No, why should I? You famous or something?"

The teenager snorted and nodded. "You could say that. My face is all over the news," She sighed, not really feeling like explaining her story. "I was kidnapped at the start of the summer and I just got rescued last month. I had surgery, and I'm not cleared to work out."

"You expect me to believe that load of crap? And that's a really awful thing to joke about. Don't you have any respect?"

The coach's eyes were narrowed and angry; she obviously didn't believe Tessa. Not that she had any reason to. She was new, and didn't know that Tessa was one of the most trustworthy students at the school. Unfortunately for Coach Evans, Tessa's patience had flown out the window as soon as she called her a liar.

With an unbelievably calm smile, Tessa shook her head. "No, I suppose I don't. But, if you don't believe my words, then maybe you'll believe your eyes."

Not allowing the woman to say anything else, Tessa lifted up her athletics shirt up to her bra, revealing her six stab wounds. She had forgotten to put on bandages this morning, so the six, four-inch long wounds were open for all to see. To her, they looked pretty good; no signs of infection and would most likely heal to almost invisible scars, thanks to Dr. Grey's stitching. To coach Evans, they looked pretty horrendous.

A loud gasp escaped her and her eyes widened in horror. Tessa couldn't help the smirk that formed on her face, or the sarcastic ring in the words that tumbled out of her mouth. "Believe me now, coach?"

Wide brown eyes jerked to up to Tessa's green ones. "You-you were really kidnapped?"

Tessa lowered her shirt and her temper. "Yes, I was. Everyone around here knows, unfortunately. I just assumed you did too," Her eyes darted to the ground in shame; she could have broken the news easier. "I'm sorry I did that. It was rude and uncalled for."

Coach Evans shook her head as the girls ran by. "No, I'm sorry I was so pushy. You were trying to tell me, and I had to go all hard-ass on you. It's my first day! I just didn't want you guys to think you could run all over me. No hard feelings?"

Tessa smiled and nodded. "No hard feelings."

The rest of her day went surprisingly easy. Liv and Evie had found them a small table in the corner of the cafeteria, away from prying eyes. Biology, world history, and study hall passed by in a blur of bells and backpacks. Soon, it was 3:15, and Tessa was very ready to go home. As she followed the mass of students all trying to get out of the doors, she began to search for her father's suburban. It wasn't in the parking lot, or one of the lucky cars waiting along the sidewalk. Maybe her mother was running late? No, she was right on time. Tessa just didn't recognize her leaning against her gleaming red convertible. She had never been so relieved-well, maybe once- to see her mother. A smile grew on her face as she hurried down the steps towards Addison.

A huge grin was plastered on the surgeon's face as Tessa ran towards her. It only grew wider as when Tessa threw her arms around Addison's waist.

"Hey, mom. I missed you."

The red head smiled in relief at the feeling of Tessa in her arms again. They had only been apart for eight hours, and Tessa had been perfectly safe but Addison had felt some pretty severe separation anxiety. It must come with the territory.

"I missed you too, sweetheart. How was your first day?"

Her teenager pulled out of her arms and opened the door to slide in. Addison moved around to the other side and got in, still waiting for an answer.

"It was… it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but still not the best first day I've ever had. How was yours?"

Honestly, you were on my mind all day. I actually called one of my patient's Tessa when her name was Taylor. You ready to be home?"

Tessa barked out a laugh. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Well, let's get going then!" Addison laughed as she pressed her foot against the pedal, sending them flying home.

"Dad! We're home!" Tessa yelled into the foyer as she walked in. Derek emerged from the den, big smile lighting up his face.

"There's my girl!" Derek swung his daughter into a bear hug and pressed a scruffy kiss against her cheek. "Did you have a good day?"

Tessa smiled and nodded, continuing to chatter to both her parents as they all sat down on the couch. Tessa suddenly stopped and looked at her father with narrowed eyes.

"You lost a patient today, didn't you?"

Derek took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah. A guy came in with massive bleeding and I just couldn't stop it in time," At his daughter's sympathetic gaze, he added, "I'm okay. Occupational hazard, right? You have any homework, kid?"

Tessa dropped the concerned look, but leaned against her dad's shoulder. "No, but you and mom have the normal mountain of new school year paperwork to sign. Who wants dibs?"

Derek jumped up, clapping his hands. "I hate to play the 'I lost the patient' card, but well, you know. How 'bout I get a head start on dinner so we can just relax this evening?"

Mother and daughter rolled their eyes, but laughed as Derek hurried to the kitchen. Addison turned back to Tessa and opened her hands.

"Let's get all of those papers signed and put away so we can enjoy our evening. Lay 'em on me."

The brunette dug in her back pack for the various forms and slips that needed her mother's signature and a book to read while she did it. They fell into a groove, Tessa turning pages and Addison signing them. They both jumped at the shrill sound of the phone ringing.

The red head quickly picked it up and answered. "Hello? Yes, this is she."

Her green eyes jumped to Tessa, who was watching her quizzically. Addison didn't drop her gaze as her eyes hardened into stones.

"No. Absolutely not. I cannot believe you are even considering this. The answer is no!"

Tessa watched with wide eyes as her mother slammed the phone back down. Derek poked his head back into the room with raised eyebrows.

"What's going on?"

His wife let out a loud sigh as she looked up at him with horrified eyes.

"That was Detective Martin. He called us to say that Tessa's kidnapper had confessed to taking her. The DA wants the names and details about all the other girls he took and killed, but he won't talk anymore unless-"

Her anguished eyes fell onto their daughter, who was still watching her. Tessa stood up and gently rubbed her mother's shoulder.

"Unless what, mom?"

A sigh with the weight of the world behind it escaped Addison. "Unless he gets to speak to you."


	17. She's so brave

**New chapter,new drama! drop a review if you please!**

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The words struck Tessa like a blow. She had only been away from him for a month; a very short, difficult month. He was still trying to control her. The DA could put him away on the kidnap charge, not to mention the rape, but for how long? And those other girls; Violet. They deserved closure for the crimes he committed against them, too. She didn't want to, but she found herself thinking she needed to go. This was going to add six months to therapy. He couldn't just go down for what he did to her. No, he couldn't just let those eighteen girls die without any recognition to the horrors he acted out on them, too. Oh, her parents were going to kill her. They stood in front of her now, discussing why Detective Martin had even bothered to call, but Tessa knew. Despite his rough demeanor, she liked him, almost trusted him. And he knew her. He knew she would want to do it. And she did. Her mind was made up; all she had to do was destroy her parent's trust in her.

"When does he need me to do it?" Tessa may as well be blunt about it. There was no need to beat around the bush.

Addison and Derek turned towards her, hoping they didn't hear her right. The look on her face confirmed that they did. Tessa looked at her parents apologetically, but there was a determined glint in her eye.

"Tessa Adrianne, you can't possibly think we'll let you go."

The glint in her eye grew brighter, and Tessa stood up a little straighter. "I'll go even if you don't let me. Though, I would much rather go with your support than your disappointment, but that's up to you."

Derek glared at his daughter fiercely. "You. Are. Not. Going. This is not up for discussion, Tessa. It's dangerous and I won't allow you within ten feet of that sick man."

"You can't stop me. I can do it. I need to do it. He can't just be put away for what he did to me. That'll buy him what, 25 years? No, he deserves to rot in a cell like I did for the rest of his life. He doesn't even deserve to die as humanely as lethal injection."

Addison frowned at her daughter in a way Tessa couldn't understand. It wasn't quite anger or concern; it was unreadable. Finally, she spoke.

"There is no way in hell that you are talking to that monster ever again in your life. I couldn't protect you from him once, but I will do everything to protect you from him now."

Tessa curled her hands into fists and counted to ten. She was tired, and they were tired. Losing her temper would do her no good. A deep breath loosened itself from her body. As she thought about it, her mother's words left a trail of guilt in her mind. She knew her parents just wanted to protect her, but they couldn't stop her.

"I am going. I have to. Forbid me all you want, I will still find a way to go. That may require me sneaking out though, and I really don't want to put you guys through that."

Addison sighed before moving to lean against the window frame, her hands cradling her head. When she looked back up at Tessa, her green eyes were soaked with pain and confusion.

"Why is it so damn important that you do this? Please tell me, because I don't understand why you would ever want to go near that man ever again in your life."

Tessa walked timidly closer to her mother, stopping just in front of her. She didn't look up at her as she released her words. "Because of you."

Her mother's confusion only grew at the teenager's words, but before she could ask what she meant, Tessa asked her a question.

"How did you feel those four months I was gone?"

Addison closed her eyes as she recalled those months of darkness, months of never ending pain and loss; she was so lost in those depressing emotions she didn't answer.

"How did you feel?" Tessa repeated herself, this time sharper.

"It- it was awful. I couldn't catch my breath. I- the world was upside down and I knew until I saw you that it would never right itself. I almost couldn't stand it. But this little part of me wouldn't ever truly let me believe I would never see you again. I thought it, but I never truly believed it. I knew that the moment when I got to see you again would be worth every moment of agony."

Tessa nodded as if she knew that was what her mother was going to say. "There are eighteen mothers who never got to see their babies again. _Eighteen_. They have _never_ stopped feeling that pain. Four months is a blink of an eye compared to years. If I am the only way that those mothers can finally know the fate of their children, then I'll do whatever I can to help them."

Derek watched his daughter carefully. He hate that her words made sense; he hated that he found himself feeling proud.

"Why do you feel so much for them?"

Tessa swung around to face him and bit her lip before answering him. "Like said, because of mom. I'll never forget her face when I woke up in the hospital. I'll never forget that wave of relief that washed through her eyes when I opened mine. She looked like all the pain and grief she had ever felt in her life melted away. The thought that eighteen mothers haven't felt that yet; it's unfair."

Addison could feel a strange, yet familiar ache in her chest that moved through her whole body. Without a second thought she turned Tessa around by her shoulders and pulled her against her chest. The teenager didn't hesitate to bury her face in her mother's neck. The thought of spending years not knowing if she would ever hold her baby again wormed its way into her brain and her grip on Tessa tightened. She didn't want to admit it, but Tessa was right. It was unfair that those families never got to know what happened to their daughters. As much as it went against every instinct in her body, she was going to allow Tessa to speak to…Robert. That was the first time she'd ever used his name, even in her thoughts. Using his name made him a real person and not just some _beast_ that took her daughter.

Tessa pulled away and looked into her mother's eyes. There was no denying how much they looked alike; except from the girl's dark hair, they could have been identical. The feature they shared the closest were their eyes. Both a sparkling green that paled out around the edges and that could become unreadable on command. Now, those eyes shared a message. In her mother's, Tessa could read that Addison understood, and no matter how much it pained her, she would allow her daughter to do it. Addison read the hope and pride in her child's.

"All right, you can go. But we will both be there, and Detective Martin will be in the room with you, and if you ever feel uncomfortable for even a second, you are coming out and never going back in. Is that clear?"

Tessa nodded solemnly, but an excited smile lit up her face and she reached up slightly to press a kiss to her mother's cheek.

Their daughter turned back to her father and she approached them slowly. "Are you okay with this, dad? I really will need you there, but I don't want to make you upset."

Derek smiled gently down at his daughter and he pulled her into a tight hug. "Tess, I will always support you, no matter what. I love you, and I want to protect you, but you're even more hardheaded than your mother, so it's hard to do. But I will always be there."

A muffled "thanks dad", vibrated against Derek's chest before Tessa pulled back. A yawn escaped her and her father gently stroked her cheek. "It's been a long day, sweetheart. Why don't you take a nap before dinner and I'll wake you up when it's ready?"

The teenager nodded before heading upstairs to her room. When they heard her door close softly, husband and wife turned towards each other with worried frowns.

"You really think she should do it?"

Derek scrubbed his face roughly before turning around and heading back into the kitchen, Addison trailing behind him.

"Of course not. As her mother, I want to keep her away from this whole situation the best I can. Logically, I know I can't because we raised a caring, independent daughter who often put others before herself and she'll always do what she thinks best."

Derek laughed softly as he moved around the chicken searing in the pan. "You know, before she was taken, those were some of the things I loved most about her. Now I think they'll only get her into trouble."

Addison nodded in agreement and bit her lip. I guess I should call the station back and let them know she'll do it and all of our conditions."

The red head walked away and Derek was left alone with his thoughts. His mind wandered to the girl that had him wrapped around his finger. She was so tough and yet so vulnerable at the same time. They were just starting to get back to normal. Tessa was going back to school (granted it was only her first day) and they were happy. How far would this little chat set them back? Derek's blue eyes became unfocused as he stared out of the kitchen window. His little girl, so willing to sacrifice herself to save others. He didn't know where she got that quality. Sure he and Addison helped people every day by saving their lives, but that was their job; they were paid to do it. But Tessa, she did as instinctively as breathing. There was no denying that Tessa was amazingly brave and strong, but how could she handle sitting and talking with the man that destroyed her life? The neurosurgeon was so lost in thought he didn't hear his wife shuffle back in until he felt her head lean on his shoulder.

"I told them we would come in Saturday morning, around 11. They were surprised that I called back at all, and I am too. How did we get here, Derek? How did we get to the point where we discuss our daughter conversing with her kidnapper and rapist?"

Derek turned around and pulled his red haired wife into a tight embrace. "I don't know, Addie. I wish more than anything that it wasn't our life, but it is. And somehow, our sixteen year old is handling it better than us."

The two sighed simultaneously before finishing dinner in silence. Addison was just about to go and wake up their daughter when she came in, rubbing her eyes sleepily. Quietly, she sidled up next to her mother and wrapped her arms around her.

"Did you have a nice nap, baby?"

Tessa murmured and nodded as she nestled her face into her mother's ginger hair.

Derek pressed a kiss to the back of his daughter's head as he slipped past to put their plates down. The Shepherds didn't dwell on the appointment set for later this week. They swapped stories of ridiculous patients and classmates to their heart's content. After the dinner dishes had been washed and the teenager had showered, the small family settled into the living room to read for the evening. Tessa was sent to bed soon after she fell asleep reading on her mother's shoulder. The two surgeons stayed up much later, catching up on medical journals and simply enjoying the quiet and each other. That is until the screaming of their daughter sent them racing for the stairs. Tessa was already sitting up and gasping for breath when her parents came in panting. Derek stopped at the foot of her bed, but Addison kept moving until she sat right next to her daughter, holding Tessa's face in her hands.

The teenagers green eyes were wide with terror from whatever demons lurked behind her closed eyelids.

"I-I'm okay, I'm okay. It was just a dream," At her mother's expectant look, Tessa quickly added, "I don't want to talk about it."

Her mother nodded but didn't drop eye contact. Tessa reached up and gently pulled Addison's hands off her cheeks and held onto them.

"I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but humor me. Do you still love me? Even after you know what all he did to me? You still want me?"

Her father sat down on the foot of her bed and reached to pat her drawn up legs. "Tessa, I'm pretty sure we'd still love you even if you killed a man."

Tessa smiled gently at her father's joke before looking up to her mother again, waiting for an answer.

A knowing smile was planted on Addison's face as she reached out to stroke her daughter's curly hair. "Tessa, no matter what, I will love you. You will always be my little girl, my world. What's happened to you doesn't change how much I love you. Well, maybe it makes me want to hug and kiss you and tell you I love you more, but that's about it. Does that help?"

Tessa smiled and nodded. She leaned forward and hugged Addison tightly to her, and then pulled Derek into an awkward hug. The dark haired man pressed a kiss to her forehead and whispered, "I love you," before pulling back. The two made sure their daughter was comfortable enough to fall back asleep before going to bed themselves.

Addison cuddled close to Derek's chest as they drifted off to sleep. Not knowing that he was still awake, the woman whispered into the dark room, "I love that kid."

* * *

The week went by quickly, and soon it was Saturday morning. Tessa stood in front of her mirror, studying her reflection. She had fretted for days about what to wear today, and with her Aunt Amelia's help, she decided on a comfy black sweater (borrowed from Amelia) and light jeans. The thought of how ridiculous it was to obsess over the perfect outfit suddenly struck her, and she walked down the stairs quietly, phone in hand. She hadn't used it much since her return; only a couple of times to text Liv and Evie. The day she got home, she had taken her time to listen and delete every message left on the device. There were over 200 missed calls, mostly from her mother. She wondered why she had called it so much when it hadn't been on Tessa when she was kidnapped; she had left it in her bag. Then she realized she had done it to hear Tessa's voice on her voicemail. It made her not touch her phone for days.

Now, she simply held it for something for her hands to do. Her parents were waiting expectantly in the kitchen. If they didn't leave now, they would be late. Addison wrapped her arm around the teenager's shoulders supportively as they headed to the car.

"You've got this, baby."

In a seemingly impossible amount of time, they arrived at the station. Waiting out on the steps patiently was Detective Martin. He opened Tessa's door and helped her out. She smiled at him, suddenly wondering when she started to like the stoic detective with the same affection that she normally saved for doctors at the hospital.

"Are you ready, Tessa? You can still turn around and go back home, you know. No one will blame you."

Tessa glanced back at her mother, looking for an answer. Addison just shrugged her sweater clad shoulders, signaling it was up to her girl. Tessa took a deep breath before turning back to the officer and nodding. "I'm ready."

Detective Martin gave her a tight lipped smile, and began to lead the Shepherds into the precinct, talking along the way. They passed before uniformed rookies and exhausted detectives, including Detective Bates. The young woman was tackling a pile of paperwork on her desk, but looked up with a smile directed at the teenager.

"Okay, Tessa, here's what's going to happen. You and I will enter the interrogation room where Robert is currently sitting in. He's going to be handcuffed; he won't be able to touch you. The DA, Mrs. Carmichael, will also be there. Your parents will be on the other side of the one-way mirror, so he can't see them."

He stopped in front of a normal looking door and looked Tessa directly in the eye. "It's important that you know that you are completely in control in there. You're in charge, not him. If you want to leave, you just get up and walk out. I'm just there to look tough, but if he steps too far out of line, I reserve the right to correct him. Does that sound good to you?"

Tessa nodded surely before turning back to face her parents. Her mother was wringing her hands nervously, but a supportive smile was gracing her face. Tessa moved to wrap her in a hug before doing the same to Derek.

He held her by the shoulders with a proud gleam in his eyes. "You are the strongest person I know, Tessa. You've got this."

The green eyed girl spun around only to pause with her hand on the knob. He was just through that door, and her heartbeat increased with that thought. But she was in control. She was in charge. He was her bitch now. Before her senses could get the better of her, Tessa turned the knob and entered the room.

There he was. Hands cuffed to the metal table, and clad in an orange jumpsuit. He was clean shaved, but he somehow still looked rough. Robert smiled the same smile he reserved just for Tessa as she came farther in the room. Her eyes moved quickly over the black haired woman sitting on the opposite side of the table before returning on Robert. She didn't feel safe unless she could see his every move. Martin gently ushered her to a chair next to the DA. Mrs. Carmichael turned and gave her a quick smile before jutting out a hand to shake.

"Jane Carmichael, District Attorney. I hope you don't mind me sitting in here during this, but in case Mr. Garrett reveals any locations of the girl's bodies, I have to be ready to write down the information for the record."

"I don't mind." Her attention was warily refocused on the prisoner sitting in front of her. His creepy smile was still in place and showed no sign of leaving. Tessa straightened in her seat and narrowed her eyes in what she hoped was a fierce way.

"Well, I'm here. What do you want?"

Robert shifted his hands and the cuffs rattled. "Oh, don't be so cold, baby. We used to be so close. I just wanted to check on you. Your wellbeing comes before my own."

"I've never heard such a big pile of crap in my life."

A chuckle leapt from Robert's mouth as he threw his head back. Tessa found herself feeling immensely proud that she didn't even flinch.

"I'm sorry, how is that funny?"

The large man recovered from his fit and lasered his eyes back on hers. "That little tough girl act is what's funny. C'mon Jenny, we all know that's not really you."

Tessa felt a tendril of ice slither down her spine at the name. She'd forgotten about that damn name. "I believe I told you that my name is Tessa. _Tessa_ , not Jenny. Is that clear?"

Robert shook his head. "No, you'll always be Jenny to me. But to make you happy, I'll call you whatever you want," His beady eyes traveled down her torso and he nodded appreciatively. "You look good. What'cha been up to?"

Tessa tilted her head and smirked. "Trying to go back to normal after some psycho kidnapped me. It's proving to be very easy."

Robert sneered at her. "How can you possibly sleep without me cuddling you close?"

A shudder ran its course down through her body, but Tessa played it off as best she could. "Like a baby."

"I'm having a hard time sleeping without you. I miss not being able to reach over and… comfort myself with your body. I miss being able to make you scream and moan-"

From behind her, Detective Martin growled in warning at the man. "Watch your mouth."

The kidnapper didn't even glance at the other man before speaking again. "How's my girl, Chloe doin'? I asked to see her too."

Tessa pressed her lips together in reaction to the sharp pain that pierced her heart. "She's dead, thanks to you and your knife."

Robert had the audacity to look hurt. "Oh, I didn't mean to kill her, or you either. You both knew how bad my temper is. I am sorry to hear that. She was a good girl. Would do anything I told her, course that's not really a surprise seeing as I trained her so well."

"I'm not here to talk about her. I have plans today, so say what you want."

Robert nodded his head, suddenly looking serious. "I want you to drop the charges."

Now it was Tessa's turn to laugh. "That's not gonna happen. You deserve to rot in a cell for what you did to twenty girls and I'm going to make sure that you do."

"We both know what happened between us was consensual."

Tessa turned to the lawyer sitting on her right. "Is there any proof that I wanted to be kidnapped, raped, and held against my will?"

The woman smiled at the teenager. "Why no, Ms. Shepherd, there isn't."

"I thought as much. I'm not dropping the case for anything. Is there anything else or are we done?"

With a crash of metal against metal as Robert slammed down on the table. Tessa and Mrs. Carmichael jerked as Detective Martin lunged forward. Robert's eyes were ablaze with a fury Tessa was all too familiar with.

"We are done when I say we're done, got it you little bitch?"

Tessa smirked and tipped her chair, looking bemused. "Really? You're in charge? I think you've got that wrong because you're the only one in hand cuffs and a sporty orange jumpsuit. I, on the other hand, am free to go wherever I want."

As if to prove her point, Tessa got up from her chair and leaned against the mirror. Her eyes glowed with excitement and the knowledge that he was now her prey. She found his button, and she planned on pressing in relentlessly.

"You know, I do remember you with something other than revulsion. I remember you with pity. It must be a lonely, pathetic life you must've lived that the only attention you ever got was from girls you stole."

She watched with feline interest as a vein in his neck started to pop. It was working. "Though I suppose with the piping you're equipped with that's all you could get." Her eyebrow rose along with her smirk and he clenched jaw.

"You know, it really got me thinking about what messed you up so bad that you chose this life path. What did your daddy do to you?"

She stalked closer to the table and leaned forward on it. "Did he make you call him daddy as he did bad things to you? Did he punch you in the face when you called out for your mother like you did to me? Oh, poor little Robert-"

"SHUT UP! You don't know what you're talking about!"

Tessa just smiled even bigger when he burst out. "Oh, did I poke a touchy subject? I didn't realize you were sensitive."

Robert was fuming now; his face was beet red and his were narrowed into slits. His thick wrists strained against the metal cuffs that surrounded him. He gnashed his teeth together in a way that made him seem more primal than before. Since the first time she'd laid eyes on him in that nasty basement, Tessa had been terrified of him. Terrified of his size, of his temper, of what he could do to her. She had come so far since then. There wasn't one cell in her body that was afraid of the contained man in front of her. She was free of him.

With a delighted smile, she turned back towards the ever ready detective. "I'm done here."

"NO! We're not done! I have so much more to talk about with you."

The teenager scoffed as she confronted her kidnapper one last time. "The deal was that I come in and talk to you. Sorry the conversation didn't go way you planned. I held up my end of the bargain; now you hold up yours. Tell them where those girls are, and be honest, or it'll be so much worse for you."

Tessa turned on her heel and calmly opened the door. As soon as she passed over the threshold, she was pulled into the familiar embrace of her mother. Tessa instinctively nuzzled her face in her mother's flaming red hair.

"You did so good, baby girl. I am so proud."

Though she couldn't see her face, Tessa knew her mother was crying. The young girl could count on one hand how many times she'd seen her mother cry before this whole mess. Now her tears seemed like a daily thing. Guilt clawed through Tessa as she realized she was the source of all these tears. Tessa pulled back slightly to look her mother in the eye.

"Can we go home now?"

The door behind them opened again, and Tessa tensed. Her adrenaline was draining quickly and the thought of Robert seeing her mother made her heart race. he could sa whatever he wanted about her, but her mother was off limits. Fortunately, Detective Martin seemed to know that, and shielded their gazes from inside the interrogation room.

"Tessa, you did great. He's an open book now. We wouldn't have been able to ever find those poor girls if it weren't for your help. Thank you."

Tessa just smiled from the safe hold of her mother. "Your welcome, but this is the last time I'll be in the same room with him until the trial if that's all right with you."

The officer smiled and nodded. "Of course. Go be a kid."

With that, the small family made their way out to the car and on their way home. Addison found herself thinking about the last half hour. Her girl, her baby was so very brave. She had looked so little and young in the beginning, cowering in her chair. It had taken all her willpower and some of Derek's to keep from busting in there and dragging her home where she could be protected. But as Tessa's confidence grew and the hardness entered her demeanor, Tessa became a different person. She taunted him and played with him with her words like a cat would a mouse. Her daughter was not the vindictive, mean person and yet there she was, taking him down slowly and surely. Hearing him say all of those things about her daughter had made her blood boil. He deserved to die in a box, never seeing the light of day again. Tessa wanted to make sure that happened and Addison didn't blame her. The red head twisted in her seat to glance back at her girl. The teenager was knocked out, her head leaning against the window. Tessa didn't fall back asleep after her nightmare last night. She'd had one every night for the past week, but last night's was the worst. Tessa awoke screaming like normal, but it had taken Addison almost ten minutes for her to snap out of it. Derek had been on-call last night, so Addison had made her daughter sleep on his side of the bed, just to keep her close. Although they somehow ended up with Tessa's head tucked under her mother's chin and Addison holding her little girl as close as possible. The woman had begged her daughter to talk about it, knowing that talking about it may make it easier. Tessa had refused, like always. But, she had told her mother that she wrote down what she dreamed, in a journal she kept hidden. The young girl said that nobody needed to have what she saw every night in their head.

Back at home, Tessa nestled between her parents, the spot where she felt safest. The TV was on, but nobody was watching, and nobody was speaking of that afternoon's events, either. Addison was repeatedly stroking daughter's hair. It seemed to calm both of them, and Tessa was starting to doze off. Tessa snuggled further into the fuzzy blanket she was draped in. Her green eyes flicked to both her parents' eyes, making contact with both.

"I hope you know how much I love you guys."


	18. Dream on

"So, you talked to Robert."

Tessa sat across from Dr. Taylor, fiddling with the bracelets stacked on her wrist. It had been four days since her interaction with Robert, and the teenager had been plagued with raging nightmares and panic attacks ever since. She had brushed them off like she always did, but her parents weren't fools. They could see that even in that short amount of time that their daughter was deteriorating. They made an emergency session with her therapist, hoping she could help.

"Yes, I did. It wasn't as bad as I thought."

The doctor quirked her brow at her patient's answer. "So why haven't you been sleeping? Why have your panic attacks increased?"

Tessa looked away, her hands still dancing nervously across her wrist. "It brought back some bad memories. I can see them more clearly at night and I don't particularly want to, so I stay awake. I eventually fall asleep and the nightmares are so bad they wake me up again."

Dr. Taylor nodded. "I can give you a prescription to help you sleep, if you like. I'll talk to your parents when we're done. That still doesn't answer why your panic attacks have increased. They were fading away, as far as I could tell."

The green eyed girl met her doctor's patient gaze. Her voice was quiet when she answered. "I- I see him. I see him everywhere. That never used to happen. But, I can't even go to school without seeing him out of the corner of my eye. I can't go _anywhere._ Logically, I know he's locked away and can't get me, and I know I don't really see him, but it's still unnerving."

"Did he say something that struck you in particular? Something that stuck with you?"

Tessa shook her head, still looking lost. "No, I thought about that too. I've gone over what he said, and it was nothing different. Maybe it was just seeing him again that set it all off. It's getting better though. Whenever it happens, I just close my eyes and take deep breaths until logic and reason calm me down."

Dr. Taylor wrote something on the notepad on her lap before looking at her patient again. "That's good. I wonder why you haven't told your parents about any of your nightmares. I know you said you wrote them down, and that's good, but talking to them might also help. That's all they want to do, you know."

The brunette girl gave the woman a pained glance. "I can't. The nightmares- they're about them."

That caught the doctor's attention. She sat up in her chair straighter, looking Tessa in the eye. "What do you mean? What do you see in your nightmares, Tessa?"

Tessa looked away again, her eyes focusing on the fish tank across from her. "It depends. Sometimes it's them being hurt by him, but most of them are of me coming home and they've moved on without me. Had another kid or just completely forgotten me. I started seeing those before talking to Robert, but they just replay over and over every night," Tessa's lip wobbled and she closed her eyes tightly. "It's hard to look at them; I feel like I'm hurting them. Like it would have been better if I had never come home."

A sympathetic frown fell like a mask on the therapist's face. She got up from her chair to sit on the couch next to her patient, and She wrapped a comforting arm around the girl's hunched shoulders.

"That's not true, Tessa. You aren't hurting them at all," she paused, pursing her lips. "I probably shouldn't tell you this, classified patient information and all, but your parents came in and talked with me a couple of times. It was about two weeks before you were rescued. They were a mess, to say the least. They really missed you and wanted you home safe and sound more than anything else. Your mother in particular was in a considerable, visible amount of pain. She said not being able to hold you was killing her. Your father didn't really say much, but he agreed with her when she said that. She came in after you returned. She looked like a different person. She told me that her heart was beating again. You being home is not hurting them, Tessa; it's helping them."

"Then why am I dreaming what I am?"

"I think because you feel guilty for going missing in the first place, even though you have no reason to. Nobody blames you; nobody blames anyone but Robert Garrett. Your parents love you more than anything and I know you love them just as much. I think the best thing to do is to talk with them, tell them about your dreams and let them help you. I can give you some sleeping pills, but I think you should try letting your parents help first."

Tessa smiled up at Dr. Taylor. "That sounds doable."

Addison read a magazine out in the waiting room of Dr. Taylor's office, waiting for her daughter to reemerge through the heavy wooden door. Her worried thoughts about Tessa kept her from actually enjoying anything on the glossy pages of her gossip magazine. Tessa's nightmares had kept the whole family up at night, and the school had called her yesterday because her daughter had a meltdown in the locker room. Someone had accidentally locked the door while Tessa was still inside. One of the coaches had found her curled up in the corner of the shower, sobbing.

Suddenly the door swung open, and a familiar face stepped back through. Though her daughter rarely wore makeup, Addison could tell that Tessa had attempted to cover up the bags under her eyes with concealer. The powder couldn't hide them as well as she hoped. Tessa smiled halfheartedly at her mother as they walked out of the office.

"Did you have a good session, sweetheart?"

Tessa nodded distractedly before meeting her mother's eyes. "Yeah, it was fine. Is dad working tonight?"

The red head tried to remember her husband's schedule for the day, and vaguely remembered that he was off after seven. He would still be in surgery during Tessa's appointment, much to his dismay. "No, he doesn't. Why?"

Tessa pursed her lips and looked around the hospital hallways warily, as if she expected someone to jump out at her. "I need to talk to both of you, and Aunt Amelia too, if I can."

Just as their elevator was starting to close, a narrow hand slipped between the thick doors, making them open again. None other than Amelia Shepherd herself stepped on, a smile on her face.

"I thought I saw some familiar faces. What are you guys doing here?"

Addison smiled at her sister in law; she hadn't seen her in a few days. "Tessa had an appointment, so I took the day off for her."

Amelia's happy features twisted into concern as she turned her sharp blue eyes on her frowning niece. "Are you okay, munchkin?"

Tessa gave her aunt the most convincing smile she had in her arsenal and nodded. "I'm okay, just having some trouble sleeping. Are you working tonight? Can you come over?"

Amelia nodded and pulled Tessa in for a hug. "I'll be there. How about I bring some pizza so your mom doesn't think she has to cook and accidentally gives all food poisoning."

Addison rolled her eyes as the partners in crime snickered at her. "C'mon, that was one time! And the health inspector even said that the grocery store was selling rancid meat. I refuse to take the blame on that one?"

"So the others you'll take full responsibility for?" Amelia smirked at her with her arm around Tessa's shoulder. Addison opened her mouth to retort something, but the elevator dinged and the doors popped open. The neurosurgeon hopped off and gave the red head a glittering smile.

"Saved by the bell, Addie. I'll come home with Derek."

Mother and daughter rode the rest of the way in silence, all the way to the lobby. Addison could still see the distracted glaze that clouded her daughter's eyes. Tessa was thinking hard about something.

"Are you sure you're okay, Tess? Something seems off."

Tessa wrapped her arm around her mother's middle to comfort her. "I'm okay, mom. We'll talk about it later."

As soon as the two got home, they settled on the couch, each with their own reading material. Addison had instilled a love for reading in her child before she was even born. Tessa wasn't picky about what she read, as long as it wasn't too scary, but now she had settled on more classic literature. She rested her head in her mother's lap her eyes devoured _To Kill a Mockingbird,_ lost in the adventures of Scout, Jem, and Maycomb. Addison herself was reading an article about a new technique in laparoscopic intrauterine surgeries. while she imagined her hands performing the surgery in her mind, her finger idly stroked her teenager's arm. Before they knew it, it was seven and Derek was home, holding the door open for a pizza bearing Amelia.

Tessa hurried to hug her father as he came in. "There's my girl. How was Dr. Taylor's?"

"Good; I really need to talk to you guys. Think we can after dinner?"

Derek's brow furrowed at his daughter's strange request, but he nodded. Tessa smiled and hurried to help her aunt. He rushed upstairs to change before rejoining his family. Addison met him at the foot of the stairs, a worried look he knew all too well on her face.

"What's wrong?"

His wife shook her head. "I don't know. She's been acting strange since we got home, even a little before. Something happened with her therapist. She wants to talk to all of us, and I don't know why. It's making me nervous."

Derek looked towards the kitchen where his sister and daughter laughed. "I'm sure everything's fine. Maybe she had an epiphany and wants to share it with us. Let's just go enjoy dinner with our family."

That's exactly what they did. Tessa once again became the happy, sarcastic girl they all loved. As they swapped conversations and munched on pizza, Tessa was glued to Amelia's side, which was nothing new. There was no denying how close the two were.

"Hey, remember that time when I babysat for you guys? Tess was only six or seven, but she insisted on watching the scariest movie I could find. Remember what we watched?"

The teenager shuddered and glared at her aunt. "Yeah, it was _The Exorcist_ and I couldn't sleep for weeks."

Amelia shrugged her shoulders and leaned back in her seat. "You asked; I delivered. I warned you that it was super scary, but you insisted in the cutest little way. You put your little hands on your hips and declared you were a big girl and you could handle anything."

Tessa rolled her eyes and took a bite from her Hawaiian pizza. "Whatever. The only good thing that came out of that whole experience was that every time you babysat we watched a scary movie. Now I love them."

Amelia barked out a laugh as she got up to throw her crust away. "You're so welcome."

As her family began to clean up, the nervous glint came back in Tessa's eyes. Her hands came together and she rubbed her fingers anxiously. Her aunt was the first to notice.

"Okay, what is going on? You're getting all twitchy and nervous again, and it's really killing my vibe, so please tell us what's wrong."

The teenager glared at her aunt for outing her, but let out a sigh when she realized that all the adults were waiting for an answer.

"Fine. I need to talk to you. All of you. Can we go in the living room?"

The adults all immediately dropped what they were doing, and began to walk into the living room, with Tessa following slowly.

Everyone took a seat and waited impatiently for Tessa to begin.

"Dr. Taylor and I discussed my nightmares and panic attacks today. I know you guys are probably wondering why they've been so bad lately, and I really haven't been willing to talk about them. She says I should, so I guess I will. My nightmares have gotten awful, but that was before I even knew Robert wanted to speak to me," She looked up at her parents and was relieved to only see concern and love in their faces. "But, they've gotten worse since. My nightmares are about you guys."

Surprise read on all their faces, mingled with hurt. Addison was the first to speak. "We- we're the reason you're having nightmares? What do we- do we hurt you?"

Tessa hurried to reassure her family with calm words and a soothing hand. "No! You guys aren't hurting me- I'm hurting you."

Derek gave his daughter a puzzled stare. "How do you hurt us? You could never hurt us!"

Tessa shook her head at her father's line of thought. "It's not me directly; it's Robert. He takes you like he took me and he hurts you. But somehow you talk to me and you blame me. You all say none of this would've happened if I had never been born, and that I can't help you without doing more damage."

Her red headed mother frowned and reached for her hand. "Not one bit of that is true, okay? You would never hurt us."

Tessa continued on without acknowledging her mother. "That's not all I dream, though. I dream that I come home, over and over, but you don't want me anymore. You have another baby that's better than me, or you've just moved on and forgotten I ever existed."

Tessa turned her too bright eyes on her mother, and flinched internally at the tears that shined in them. "You especially don't want me. You're always holding this new little baby, another little girl who looks just like me, but you say she's better, and that you always wanted another girl to replace me", Her gaze fell to her hands laying limply in her lap. "It's getting hard not to believe it. A baby wouldn't be damaged, wouldn't be so badly ruined. You _could_ start all over."

Suddenly, the weight on the couch shifted and a pair of warm, loving arms wrapped around her. Her mother's perfume enveloped her, the vanilla and sunshine scent making the tears pop into her eyes.

"I would never, ever replace you for anything or anyone else in this entire world. You are not damaged or ruined you are perfect. You would never hurt any of us and we know that. You wouldn't hurt any of us. And don't think for even a second that I could forget you. You are part of me and to forget you would be like forgetting my soul. You are everything to me, Tessa Shepherd. And even if you had been gone for twenty years I wouldn't have another baby, because you are my only one. I love you so much, baby. So, so much. They are just bad dreams."

A sob echoed in her ear as her mother pulled her tighter against her. Tessa twisted in her mother's arms until she could bury her tear soaked face in her mother's chest. She let herself cry for a moment before pulling back. She turned her head away from Addison before she could see her face and start crying again. The first face she saw was Amelia's.

She wiggled out of her mother's arms and into her aunt's.

"You hated me, too. You blamed me for all of your pain, and I couldn't make it go away."

Amelia shushed the teenager sobbing in her arms and rubbed her back soothingly. "Oh, munchkin, I could never hate you. You're my best friend. You don't ever have to worry about me hating you; it's physically impossible."

The neurosurgeon's blue eyes met her brother's identical ones sadly. Tessa had yet to collapse into his arms but he was sure it was coming. It broke his heart to know that his daughter had been torturing herself in her dreams and then keeping silent about it. Tessa's sobs were quieting down and she lifted her disheveled head off of his sister's shoulder and looked at him with soaked eyes. He smiled sadly at her and opened his arms for her to deposit herself into. His baby girl's head nestled against his shoulder and he gently rocked her.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, dad. I'm sorry I made you sad."

"You didn't make me sad, sweetheart. Well, not in the way you think. I'm sad because I didn't help you sooner; that I couldn't see what was wrong. Although, you are surprisingly good at hiding what you want hidden. It's a trait I wish you didn't inherit from both of us," Abruptly, Derek looked down at his red faced daughter with a frown.

"You thought by not telling us you were protecting us, didn't you? You thought if we knew what you were dreaming would hurt us?"

Slowly, Tessa nodded. Derek snorted and a chuckle escaped him. "You are such a silly girl, you know that? Tessa, we're not upset or mad that you had bad dreams about us. We've been so worried about you and all of it could've been avoided if you had just told us sooner."

Tessa looked sheepishly around her at the damp eyes around the room. "I guess I could've. But I was scared that I would hurt your feelings. That's the last thing I want to do."

Her father shook his shaggy head. "You are such a great kid. You would rather suffer than maybe hurt your family."

Tessa shrugged her shoulders. "Excuse me for being protective of you guys. I won't do it again."

Amelia wiped a tear that had fallen down her cheek. "Okay, you're starting to sound too much like me. The Shepherds are not big enough for two Amelias."

Addison got up from her place on the couch and motioned for Tessa to get up as well. The teenager did so, shyly. Before her mother could hug her, Tessa looked at her. It suddenly occurred to her how pale and tired her mother looked.

"Mom? Are you okay? You don't look so good."

Addison smiled and waved her worries away. "I'm fine, sweetie. Just tired, but I'll bet we'll all sleep good tonight."

Tessa nodded and allowed for Addison to fold her into her arms. "I love you so much, my sweet girl. And from now on, whenever you have a bad dream, no matter what it is, we are going to talk about it. We don't need this sort of thing happening again. Agreed?"

Her green eyed girl nodded and turned back to her aunt. "Aunt Amelia? Could you stay over tonight? I suddenly have the urge to watch _Poltergeist._ "

Amelia glanced at her sister in law before nodding at her niece. "Sure, kiddo. We'll make up camp in the living room. Go get the stuff and a pair of pj's, okay?"

Tessa smiled excitedly and raced up the stairs to gather her sleep over gear. Soon, a pile of blankets, pillows, and Tessa's stuffed owl covered the living room floor. Tessa had swapped her jeans and sweater for an oversized tee and Nike shorts and Amelia wore a pair of borrowed pj's from Addison. Just after Tessa had put in the movie, Derek poked his head in to ask if he could watch.

His daughter and sister shook their heads. "Nope, sorry. Tess and Amy's special thing. Nobody else is allowed."

The dark haired man pretended to pout and Tessa got up from her spot to wrap her dad in a hug. "I still love you, dad."

Derek smiled against her head and murmured, "That's good, because I still really love you."

The two bid each other goodnight, and Derek hurried upstairs, leaving two of his favorite girls to enjoy their movie.

As soon as he reached his bedroom, Derek heard the sound of his wife being sick behind the closed bathroom door. He walked quickly across the room to gently knock on the door.

"Addie? You okay?"

He heard a murmured yes from his wife and waited anxiously for her to open the door. When she finally came out, he was surprised to see how pale and clammy she looked. Instinctively, Derek raised the back of his hand and pressed it against her forehead. She wasn't feverish at all.

"Addison, what's wrong? Did you eat something?"

His wife shook her head, her hand pressing against her stomach. "I… just don't feel well."

The dark haired man watched his wife shuffle to her side of the bed and sit on the edge, cradling her head in her hands. Gently, he crawled across the mattress to sit next to her and rub her shoulders comfortingly.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Panicked green eyes met his urgently as she looked up at him. "No, I'm not okay. Oh god, Derek. I think I'm pregnant."

* * *

 **Didn't see that one coming, did ya? so this is still a rough idea, and i want to know how you guys feel about it, so please leave a review. Thanks for reading and sticking with me so far!**


	19. Pain all around

Derek felt the blood drain from his face as Addison's words settled in his mind. _Pregnant._ Tears were filling her eyes as they stared at each other. Automatically, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss against her temple.

"It's okay, it's okay. We'll figure everything out."

"How could it possibly be okay? Our daughter already feels like a hypothetical child could replace her. How will she feel if a real one is on the way?"

Addison shrugged her husband's arm from her shoulder and began to pace. "I may be wrong. Maybe I did eat something; maybe all the talk from tonight has made my imagination to run wild…"

Derek leaned back on the bed and watched her make tracks in their white carpet. "You are the best OB/GYN on the west coast. Do you really think you could mistake being pregnant?"

His wife flashed him a glare. "You are not helping, Derek," Her hands began to sweat and she wiped them on her pajama bottoms. "All of my symptoms could easily be explained. The nausea could be from spending the night in the flu-infested pit. These last few months have been stressful, to say the least. That easily could have caused me to be late…"

She paused in her pacing to stare at her husband with wide eyes. "As soon as we get to the hospital tomorrow morning, you are giving me a blood test."

Derek nodded and patted the bed next to him. "Of course I will. But, you pacing all night will do no good. Come to bed. You need to sleep, pregnant or not."

Addison nodded distractedly, and climbed under the covers next to the love of her life. "I can't pregnant. I can't be. It will destroy our daughter. It will destroy her trust in us."

"What if it didn't? What if she loves the idea of being a big sister? She'd be a great one. And think about how great it would be to have another baby in the house. You love having a baby to cuddle with."

"I have one. She's downstairs, watching a movie with your sister. Tessa is my baby. I meant what I told her earlier. I would've never had another child if she had never come home. I couldn't have another one."

Derek propped his head up on his hand as he turned towards his wife. "But she did come home. And I know she feels liked we'd be replacing her, but she has to know that we couldn't even if we tried. She's our baby, but," His hand came up to rest on her stomach, right over their possible new baby. "But, this could be our baby, too."

Addison didn't respond, just rolled over on her other side facing away from her husband. Despite her best efforts, sleep evaded her that night. But, apparently Derek had no trouble finding it. He snored soundly next to her, oblivious to the internal struggle she battled. If she really was pregnant, what was going to happen to her girl? Her sweet, insecure little girl, afraid she was too broken to actually be loved and had the unthinkable idea that she could be replaced. Oh god, how were they going to tell Tessa? Tomorrow would not be a good day.

Too soon, tomorrow was here, and Addison wandered quietly down the hall to Tessa's bedroom. To her surprise, Tessa was awake, and already making her bed. Her beautiful girl smiled at her when she saw her mother standing in the doorway.

"Hey mom. Sleep well?"

Addison padded in to wrap Tessa in a hug. "I slept great, sweetheart. How late did you and Amy stay up?"

Tessa pulled her duvet up to tuck under her pillows and walked to her closet to start getting dressed. "Not too late. We finished the movie around 10, and stayed up talking till 10:30, but she got a page and left. I came back up here and fell asleep."

The teen turned away from the racks of clothes to grin at her mother excitedly. "Guess what? I didn't have a single nightmare last night! I didn't dream at all, mom!"

A smile brightened Addison's face and guilt twisted in the pit of her stomach at the thought that it might be a while until she saw that smile again after tonight. "That's great, baby. I'm glad you finally got a good night's sleep. Your dad and I won't be able to pick you up, but Alex volunteered to bring you home. Is that okay?"

Tessa was neck deep in her closet, but a muffled, "oh", answered her. The teenager popped back out of the closet, giving her mother a timid look. "About that, I was kind of thinking- well I know nobody is comfortable with me walking home from school, and I'm not either, but I was thinking…what if I could drive home?"

That caught Addison by surprise. Of course Tessa would want to drive. She was sixteen, and before she had gone missing, she and Derek had been talking about taking her to get her permit. That seemed like a lifetime ago. God, Tessa could drive. It was just another reminder how grown up her baby was; how much she was growing farther away from her.

"Oh, well, that's something we need to talk about, Tessa. That's a really big step. I'm not saying no, but I'm not saying yes. Just… let us give it some thought."

Tessa looked away, embarrassed. "I know it's a lot. I shouldn't have mentioned it. Just forget about it."

"It's just that, with everything that's happened recently, I feel really protective over you, more than normal. It's just the idea of sending you out on the open road; it scares me."

Her daughter nodded and began to check her bag to make sure it was all ready for the day. "Thanks for listening last night, mom."

Addison smiled at her shy daughter. "Anytime, baby. And I mean it." If she didn't get moving now, she would be late. But, the red head didn't leave her daughter's room yet. She watched without really seeing as Tessa pulled out different tops and pants and paired them together with a thoughtful frown. Oh, she loved that girl so much. Finally, as if she just noticed, Tessa looked up at her mother with a quirked brow.

"Are you okay? You look really weird."

The surgeon shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "I'm fine. I was just thinking about how wonderful you are."

Tessa shook her head, looking embarrassed. "Thanks. Now go get ready before you're late to work."

Addison chuckled and left her daughter to get ready herself. Derek was awake and shuffling into their bathroom to brush his teeth. She slid past him to her own sink and stared at her reflection.

"I know that for Tessa's sake you don't want to be pregnant, but if that wasn't a factor, how would you feel?"

Her green eyes wandered down to her abdomen, and she thought about how it would look with their second child growing there. A flutter echoed in her heart and an excited smile grew on her face without permission.

"Honestly, it would be amazing. If this was a perfect world and Tessa was fine, I would be ecstatic and I know she would be too. Tessa _would_ be an amazing big sister, I know it. Unfortunately, I-"

Suddenly her face paled and her hand, once cupping her stomach, flew to her mouth. She dove for their toilet, making it just in time. Derek was immediately behind her scooping her hair out of her face. A warm hand rubbed gentle circles on her back and murmured gentle words in her ear. Soon, the urge to vomit dissipated and she sat back on her heels. Her husband handed her a cup of mouthwash and a chuckle. Addison shot him a death glare from her spot on the floor.

"And just what about this is funny to you?"

The dark haired man held up his hands innocently. "It's just that I haven't seen you like this for about sixteen years. I'll still do the blood test, Addie, but I'm pretty sure that we're having a baby."

* * *

Addison watched her daughter run up the steps of her school with an eager spring in her step. It was scary the next time they saw her they would be giving her terrible- and somewhat wonderful- news. As soon as it was confirmed, at least.

Instead of covering rounds like she normally did, Addison dragged her husband into an empty exam room with a needle and vile for her blood to be taken. Derek tied the tourniquet on her arm and gently tapped her arm to make the veins pop. With almost arrogant ease, he slipped the needle under her skin and attached the vial to collect her blood and the truth that ran through it. The little vial filled quickly and the neurosurgeon smoothly removed it and the needle, leaving a ball of cotton in its place. A band-aid went over her minuscule puncture wound with a loving swipe. The red head gave her husband a grateful smile and she stepped off the table with the warm little vial in her hand.

"Thank you. As soon as the results are, in I'll come find you and let you know."

They went their separate ways; her high heels taking to the labs and his tennis shoes to the OR. It was almost a relief when she arrived on the chaotic maternity floor. Alex was waiting for her at the nurse's station for the consult they had. Her former student looked up as she came up next to him and took the chart from his open hands.

"Hey, I'm picking up McPrincess today, right? What time should I be at the school?"

Addison's green eyes flew down the page quickly as she familiarized herself with the patient's case. "Oh, I would be there before 3, just to make sure you get a good spot so she can see you. I told her what car to look for, so she should be ready. Walk her inside when you get home and make sure she's okay with being home alone; she hasn't actually been home alone since before… everything."

Alex snorted at her instructions. "Overprotective much?"

The neonatal surgeon gave him a look that would've sent him running as an intern, but now had no effect on him. "I think I have every right to be overprotective of my daughter that was kidnapped and held captive four months, wouldn't you agree, Karev?"

The smirk that he had been wearing fell from his quickly. "Of course. I was just trying to make you smile. Are you okay? You seem off."

A sigh escaped his mentor and she gave him a sideways glance. "Is it really that obvious?"

"Yeah, if I notice. Care to tell me what's going on?"

Without saying another word, Addison grabbed Alex's wrist and dragged him to the closest on-call room.

"Look, I don't know what I said, but I have a girlfriend so…"

The red head smacked him on the arm lightly and rolled her eyes. "Is that literally all you ever think about? Now I am going to tell you something that I want you to keep to yourself. Not a word to anyone, especially your little girlfriend. Do I have your word?"

Alex nodded his head like it was obvious. "I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant."

The younger man raised his eyebrows at her secret. "With your reputation, I would hope you were more than just pretty sure."

"Fine. I'm almost a hundred percent sure; I'm just hoping by some miracle I'm wrong. I really hope I'm wrong, Alex."

"Why? Most people are excited about babies. There's a whole floor full of 'em right outside."

Addison sighed and ran her fingers through her shiny red hair. "That's because they don't have a traumatized teenager who's terrified of being replaced by a younger sibling."

His brown eyes narrowed in confusion. "What do you mean? Tessa's afraid you'll love another baby more than her? That's insane."

"To everyone who doesn't have reoccurring nightmares almost every night," Addison quickly explained the tear stained events of the previous night. "If I'm pregnant she'll hate me for lying to her. I don't know what to do."

"What if I talk to her when I pick her up? She listens to me. I could make her see how great a little brother or sister is."

Addison shook her head vigorously at his suggestion. "No. I don't want to hear about this whole thing until we know for sure, or from anyone else but us. There's no reason to upset her for nothing. I can't obsess over this all day. We better get to work. I know this is intern work, but this case is important. Quintuplets don't come in every day and I want everything to go as smoothly as possible, so would you go do another check-up on the patient, please? I'll be there in just a second."

Alex nodded to ease his friend's worrying. He opened the door and left before sticking his head in one last time. "By the way, congratulations."

The day flew by in a rush of patients and blood. Soon Alex was hurrying out of the lobby to make to Tessa's school on time. He was still late. His eyes widened at the line of cars waiting outside the high school. There was still two minutes until the final bell rang, and pulled his car in behind a tacky minivan. Soon, a flood of teenagers came through the doors, and somehow in the midst of all the adolescents, he spotted the one he was in charge of. It had been quite a while since he'd seen a smile as big as the one she wore now on her face. Tessa hurried towards his car and she hopped in with a cloud of laughter following her.

"Hey, kid. How was school?"

Tessa smiled at him and leaned over awkwardly to give him a hug. "It was great, but I was looking forward to seeing you all day, so it was hard to focus. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. Plus it was Friday. That doesn't help anything."

"That's because you haven't. You haven't been to the hospital just to say hi in forever. I'm used to weekly visits."

Tessa looked out the car window, looking somber. "I guess it has been a while. It's just hard to go, unless I have to. Thanks for picking me up by the way. I really appreciate it."

Alex smiled and punched her gently in the shoulder. "Anything for you, butthead. Now let's get you home. I hope you have food, because I'm starving."

The two arrived at the Shepherd household in a whirlwind of laughter and teasing. Once they got inside, Alex made a beeline for the kitchen, already on the search for food. As Tessa continued to tell him about her day, the pediatric surgeon made a sandwich.

"So, are you like, staying to babysit me or something? I can stay home by myself for a few hours without having a meltdown, you know. Despite what my mother thinks."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Not everything is about you. I'm working a double shift and needed a good snack in between. And I'm only supposed to ask if you feel comfortable staying by yourself. I'm ready to go if you don't need me."

"I don't need you."

The dark haired man pretended to be hurt by her comment. "There was no need to be so blunt about it."

Tessa rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. "I thought you treated babies, not acted like them."

"Just for that little snap, I'm leaving and you can just be all alone."

"Sounds good to me. I'll walk you to the door."

Tessa escorted her friend to the door with a smirk. "Have fun with your double shift."

The teenager heard him laugh with his mouth full of lunch meat as he walked to his car. As soon as he drove away, she shut the door tightly and made sure to lock it up. Her bag was still in the kitchen, so she grabbed it and wandered back into the living room, looking outside the window warily. The clouds had thickened and darkened the sky and the wind had most definitely picked up since she got out of school. To most people, this weather was ominous, but it was Tessa's favorite kind of day. She absolutely loved the rain and storms; it made reading that much better. It was good thing she lived in Seattle. As the rain started to come down in buckets, she was glad she had been lazy this morning and had gone to school in sweats and a long sleeved Yale tee shirt. With study hall as her last period, she got most of her homework done in there, so there wasn't anything for her to do besides read. _To Kill a Mockingbird_ received the honor of becoming her favorite classic book and now she'd moved on to read _The Book Thief._ She was only three chapters in and she already loved it. Tessa read well into the evening, not even stopping to make dinner. She was completely oblivious to her world as she became a part of Liesel's. That was easily her favorite part of reading; how easily the character's world became her own. The front door rattling as her parents tried to enter startled her out her reverie. She'd forgotten she'd locked it. As she hurried to undo the lock, she heard her father's somber voice through the door. Tessa hated that voice. She opened it with an apologetic smile only to be met with worried frowns.

"What's wrong?" The teenager moved aside to let her parents in, and she accepted a kiss on the cheek from both, her mother's lingering. That was another bad sign. Addison was always affectionate, but when she started becoming clingy was when Tessa needed to worry.

Her parents joined hands in front of her and Derek had the most heartbroken look on his face. "Dad? What's wrong? You're really starting to scare me."

A sigh forced its way out of her father and his eyes were glazed over as he began to speak. "Tessa, we need to talk."

The green eyed girl nodded warily and followed her mother and father into the living room; they always had their serious talks in there. She was going to start hating that room. Addison and Derek sat together on the couch and Tessa settled on the soft armchair, pulling her knees to her chest. Nobody said anything. They just stared at each other and let the tension fill the room like an unwanted odor. Addison took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak, but a sob came out instead, joined by big tears.

Tessa jerked and moved to comfort her mother but Derek beat her to it. He pressed his lips against her hair as she buried her face in his chest. Their daughter could her him murmur words into her hair, but he couldn't make out what he was saying. All of the sudden, Addison pulled herself together and wiped away the tears. At her daughter's questioning stare, she gave her a small, unconvincing smile.

"I'm sorry. I really don't know what came over me."

Tessa's eyes didn't leave her mother when she spoke. "Please tell me what's going on. Did someone die?"

Derek shook his head. "No, sweetheart. Nobody died. But, we do have some pretty big news." His blue eyes flicked to his wife's, obviously saying it was her news to tell.

"Mom? Are you okay?"

Her mother got up from the couch and sat down next to her daughter. She covered Tessa's hands with her own, her cold fingers wrapping around Tessa's warm ones.

"I-I am so sorry."

The teenager just kept searching her mother's eyes for a reason for her apology. "Mom, what are you sorry for? Please, you're really scaring me."

Addison took a deep breath and squeezed their joined hands.

"Tessa, I'm pregnant."

Those words didn't make any sense, at least not coming from her mother. Pregnant meant she was going to have a baby. _Another baby._ And just last night, after Tessa let fears out in the open for everyone to judge, to see, to _know,_ her mother just told her the worst thing she could ever hear. Her mother, the person she trusted most in the world, had _lied._ She realized she wasn't breathing. A deep breath filled her lungs as anger filled her soul. Tessa jerked her hands out from her mother's to drag them through her curls. More deep breaths. More anger.

"Tessa please say something, anything." That was Addison pleading with her. She was trying to talk, but no words would come out. They were stuck between her brain and her mouth.

"I… I can't believe it."

Those were words. Not the best words to use, but they summed up how she felt nicely. Apparently not to her parents, though. The teenager looked down and realized vaguely that she was standing. And pacing. Addison was watching her with wide, nervous eyes.

"I'm so, so sorry, honey. I know what I said last night and truly I meant it. I didn't- we weren't trying. I promise this caught us surprise as much as it did you."

Tessa felt a laugh bark out of her. "I doubt that." At least they were more words.

"How far along are you?" The question sounded like an accusation, but it wasn't meant to. A part of her was genuinely concerned about her mother's health.

"We did an ultrasound today, after the blood results confirmed it. I'm about ten weeks."

Though math was never her strongest point, Tessa did the calculations fairly quickly. "That's about two weeks before I got home."

Her statement was met by silence. Of course they had already figured that out. Before she actually knew what was happening, Tessa found herself dashing up the stairs and slamming her bedroom door closed. Her shaking fingers fumbled to unlock her phone and get her to her contacts. Her thumb pressed the most recent number. To her surprise, Amelia answered.

"Can you come pick me up?"

"Pick you up? Where are you?" Her aunt sounded more and more worried with each word.

"I'm at home, but I just can't be here anymore. I'll tell why later. Can you?"

"Yeah, I was just about to leave. I'll be there in like ten minutes."

Tessa murmured "thank you", before hanging up and grabbing her duffle bag and throwing clothes in it. She ventured down the hall quietly and grabbed all of her toiletries before returning to her dark room. She made sure had enough stuff for a few days and slipped a few books and her charger in as well. Heddie and her ear buds went on top. The teen was thankful that neither of her parents tried to come up and talk to her. Now that the shock had worn off, the only emotion left was anger, and she really didn't want to hurt them more than they already were. Lost in the thoughts of the near future, the buzzing of her phone brought her back to the present. Her ride was here.

Slowly, she cracked open her door and snuck down the stairs. Addison and Derek were still in the living room, talking quietly. Just as she reached the foot of the staircase, her father noticed her.

"Tessa! Where are you going?"

She froze, foot mid-step. Without looking at them, Tessa turned to face her parents. From her peripheral vision, she could just barely see the confusion on their faces as they took note of her duffle bag.

"Where do you think you're going?" Her father repeated his question, his voice just a bit harder.

"I'm going to go stay at Aunt Amelia's for a while."

"Like hell you are." Her mother still wasn't speaking.

"I am, and you really can't stop me. I can hardly look at you, let alone sleep under the same roof. It's best for everyone that I leave. I'll have her call you when I get there and tell you how long I'll be staying."

Derek got up from the couch to stand in front of her, his face stern. "You don't call the shots here. You are the child."

Finally, she looked up at him, green flames dancing in her eyes. "I will call the shots in my own life. I think I am more than capable of taking care of myself and knowing what's best for me. You two lied to me. And right now, I hate you. I hate you so much it's consuming me. The more distance I have from you, the quicker that will go away."

Without another word, she spun on her heel and calmly walked out the front door. A part of her was disappointed when neither parent came after her. They were already moving on. Numbly, she stumbled over the damp concrete to Amelia's awaiting vehicle and climbed in. Two blue eyes locked on her green ones and she almost burst into tears at the concern shining in them.

"Okay, I picked you up. Will you please tell me what's going on?"

Tessa snorted and said, "Can we at least go home first? I'd rather not get into this in the middle of your car. I'm fine, if that puts you at ease."

"How in the hell would that put me at ease? You call me at 9:00, sounding like you're a second away from losing it and ask me to pick you up from your own home. I need to know what's going on right now, Tessa."

A teenaged sigh filled the car as Amelia drove to her apartment. "She's pregnant."

Amelia turned towards her niece, her face stunned. "Your mother? Addison is pregnant?"

"Uh-huh. Imagine my surprise."

Her aunt turned her head back towards the road in front of them, her eyes still widened in surprise. Her slim fingers drummed awkwardly on the steering wheel as she searched for her words.

"Well- are they sure?"

Tessa nodded and closed her eyes. "Hundred percent. Ten weeks along; almost through the first trimester. They can start spreading the joyous news around soon."

They didn't speak as they pulled into the parking garage and turned off the car. Tessa grabbed her bag from underneath her feet and jumped out, Amelia following her to the elevator.

"How do you feel about all of this?" Amelia wrapped her arm around Tessa's hunched shoulders. Her niece dropped her head on her shoulders, shifting through her thoughts and feelings.

"I'm pissed, mostly. And hurt, you know? After everything that I said- that she said- I feel like how I feel doesn't matter. And ten weeks along; that was before I got home. It feels like they already gave up and I ruined their attempt of a new family by showing up, stabbed and crazy."

"Hey, you didn't ruin anything. We all missed you so much; it was all we could do just to get up in the morning. I know that you feel like a new baby could replace you, but that's not ever going to happen. I don't know how to make you feel different about this, sweetie. I don't know how to help you. I really wish I could."

"I don't know how to accept it. I don't think I can. I couldn't even look at them. That's why I left. How long can I stay with you?"

Tears had started to fall down her red cheeks as she held tighter to Amelia. The neurosurgeon ran her fingers through her curls, silently calming her down.

"As long as you need, munchkin. As long as you need."

* * *

 _I hate you._ Those were the most painful words she'd ever heard. They punched her soul and tore through her heart, leaving gaping holes where her daughter's love once lived. The door slammed, making her jump. A part of her desperately wanted to chase after Tessa, to hold her and tell her she loved her, but the stronger part of her forced her to stay, knowing that being apart would help her daughter come back. Derek stood next to the staircase, rubbing his hand over his face. Addison got up numbly from the armchair and gently rubbed his shoulder.

"Derek?"

Slowly, he turned his head towards her and what was left of heart shredded into pieces in the destroyed look in his stunning blue eyes. Without saying a word, the red head wrapped him in hug that they both desperately needed. They stood there for a moment, each wondering where they had gone so wrong. Her stomach had been in her throat since she'd received the positive blood results that afternoon. Addison had raced to Derek's office and as soon as the door closed, blurted her news. A smile broke out on her wonderful husband's face, and despite all of the negative thoughts echoing in her head, she grinned back. With almost unrestrained excitement leaking out of him, Derek got up from his paperwork and swept her into his arms, whispering how happy he was in her ear. It was hard not to feel the same way as he celebrated their new miracle. So, Addison joined him. They sat on his sleek leather couch and fantasized what their new child would be like. While Derek hoped for another girl, claiming that he was so used to living in house full of girls he wouldn't know what to do with a son, she rooted for a boy. A boy wouldn't make Tessa feel like she was being replaced; a boy would be perfect. Then again, a girl would be too. As long as it was healthy, she would be happy. As long as Tessa was happy and healthy, she would be happy. Tonight, she was neither. Tonight she was in so much pain and buried in anger, she couldn't even look at them. But she knew her daughter too well. When she said them, she had really meant _her_.

Addison had hurt her; she had broken her heart. And she knew it, from the moment the words left her mouth. The spark drained from Tessa's eyes, and a fathomless darkness filled its place. That was the moment her daughter stopped looking at her. Tessa had yanked her hands out of the ones that had loved her all her life to get to her feet and began pacing, each footstep coming down on the hardwood like a slap. The words had exploded from her mouth like a bullet, ricocheting off the walls of their living room. Addison had wanted to say that she didn't believe it either. But, she had seen their baby with her own two eyes on the grainy machine. Tessa had asked how far along she was, and the answer tasted bitter in her mouth. Of course Tessa figured out that ten weeks was before she got home. Of course that felt like the ultimate blow of betrayal. How couldn't it? They had promised her and eased her fears that no other baby would join their home and now she was pregnant. She could hardly stand to look at herself. Derek pulled out of the embrace first, but he grabbed a hold on her cold hand.

"Did you see her?"

His wife nodded. Even though Tessa hadn't looked at her, she hadn't been able to keep her eyes of her girl. Her teenager's narrow fingers had gently rubbed up and down the strap of her duffle, but that was the only hint that she was nervous. Her posture shouted defiance and her words shouted hurt. A burst of pride ran through her at the sight of her daughter looking so strong. Strong was a good look on her.

"We messed up big time, Derek."

"I know."

"How do we fix it?"

Derek sighed and dropped her hand. He started to walk upstairs without a word, and Addison followed him. They passed by Tessa's open door and tried not to look in, because the dark, empty room looked all too familiar. They reached their bedroom and Addison could see he was still thinking.

"I don't know, Addie. What can we do?"

The red head sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her temples; a migraine was forming. What could they do? Tessa already had their love and support, it was her trust she had lost. They would have to do anything they could get it back.

"God, this is such a big mistake."

Her words made Derek look at her sharply. "What's a mistake?"

She raised an elegant eyebrow as if her statement was quite clear. "Getting pregnant."

The neurosurgeon shook his head disbelievingly at her. "Look, I know that this whole situation is a mess, and our daughter currently hates us, but it is not fair to our future child to call it a mistake. Tessa's health and happiness is very important, but we can't really do anything but help her come to terms with everything. What, you want to schedule an abortion to clean this whole thing up nice and easy?"

Now it was Addison's turn to get to her feet. She ingrained her hands on her hips and stared him down.

"That is not a fair question to ask and you know it. Of course that's not what I want, Derek! I want this baby just as much as you do! I just wish we wouldn't be having it at the expense of our other child's, and I don't want our child coming into a destroyed household where its older sister can't even stand to look at it, because if we don't fix this, that is what will happen. Tessa is convinced she is too damaged to ever be loved and that a new baby will somehow make us see that. Is that how you feel about her?"

Derek shot his wife a death glare. "And you say I asked an unfair question. You're accusing me of not loving my own daughter, and I don't appreciate it. You act as if you are the only person in the whole damn world that loves Tessa. She is my baby just as much as she is yours, and I wish you would realize that. Hearing her say I hate you tonight was one of the worst things I've ever heard; right after your daughter has been kidnapped. Those are my top two. I really don't want to fight with you Addison, not tonight. None of us are thinking straight, our daughter included, and I don't want to say something I don't mean. I'm gonna go sleep in the guest bedroom; I think we both need to just be by ourselves."

Without giving her time to answer, Derek grabbed his pillow and a pair of pajama pants to sleep in and disappeared down the hall. Addison, feeling utterly and completely alone, slumped back down on the bed, cradling her pounding head. This was not how she had hoped the evening would go. Somehow she had ended up completely isolated from her entire family. Her daughter was safe with Amelia, and that eased her heartbreak some, but she really wanted her husband. She wanted Derek's strong arms around her, the one place she felt truly safe. Even though he was just down the hall, she had never felt farther away from him. There was nothing left to this horrid day besides just go to bed and let it end. With great effort, Addison hauled herself to the bathroom and changed from the powerful Dr. Montgomery to the exhausted, heartbroken Addison. As she crawled into the too cold bed, her hand moved over her stomach, and she whispered good night to the only one who could hear her.

* * *

 **Super long chapter, folks! writing this family torn apart and confused like this is oddly fun and easy, although i much prefer them happy then angsty. review if ya please!  
**


	20. Turning Tables

"I'm cleared? I can work out again?" The excitement couldn't be hidden as Tessa sat up on the exam table, looking at Meredith hopefully.

"Yes, you can. Take it easy though. Start off slow and work up to soccer champion. You listened to me before and didn't rush it; keep following that advice and you'll be good as new in no time."

Tessa hopped off the exam table with a whoop and pulled the scrub clad woman in for a quick but meaningful hug, and then turned to Amelia. "I'm all better! I'm all better!" The teenager danced around and chanted with a big smile on her face, and Amelia couldn't help but laugh at her.

"That's great, kiddo. I know not being able to work out was killing you. Just do as Meredith says so you're not on the bench again."

The teenager nodded with an infectious giddy smile and skipped behind the curtain to change back in her clothes. The two surgeons gave each other a look, and Amelia mouthed that she would explain everything to her colleague later. Meredith nodded and left without a word. Tessa chattered animatedly to her aunt as she reemerged from the curtain.

"This is amazing. I mean I knew I was probably going to get cleared, but knowing it's official feels fantastic."

The neurosurgeon smirked at Tessa as the pair made their way out of the exam room. "I'm happy for you, kid. You should share the good news with your folks. I know they'll be just as happy, if not more, than you are."

Just like that, the good vibe Tessa had been riding disappeared. The scowl that slipped on over her smile was a common sight whenever her parents were mentioned. It had been two weeks since she'd left. She had moved in temporarily with Amelia ever since, and they got along great, except when her aunt tried to talk her into going back home.

"No."

"C'mon Tess, don't you think you've punished them enough? They haven't heard your voice in two weeks. It must be killing them, you know, after going four months without it." Amelia's favorite strategy was trying to guilt the girl into leaving.

"That's too bad. Maybe they should start keeping their promises and they could hear it again."

The older brunette rolled her eyes at her. "You know that they made the appointment we just left from, right? They easily could've been there waiting because they are your parents and have every right to know your health status, but no. They respected your space and continue to leave you alone. That sounds like they feel sorry for hurting you. I know your mom is. She asks me every morning if you slept okay. I can't keep saying yes when I know you're not."

The teen avoided her piercing blue gaze and repeatedly jabbed the elevator button, attempting to get out of the hospital as quick as possible to order to avoid seeing her parents. "I'm sleeping just fine."

"We both know that is a lie because every time you get up, I get up. Nice try, though."

Tessa opened her mouth to retort, but the elevator door opened to reveal the people she wanted to see least of all. Addison and Derek were leaning against the back wall of the elevator, clearly not expecting to see their scowling daughter and smirking sister. A smile immediately broke out on Addison's face; even full of anger, her daughter's face was the one she wanted to see most. To her dismay, Tessa just turned on her heel and took off towards the stairs. Amelia yelled after her, getting everyone else turn around except for the fleeing teenager. The younger Shepherd turned back to her sullen family.

"I'm sorry. I'm really trying to get her to go back home, but I just can't get through to her."

Her red headed sister nodded. "Thank you. How did her appointment go? We were just on our way to see Meredith; we thought you'd be gone by now."

The conversation died off awkwardly as Tessa's missing spot between them became painfully obvious. Derek's eyes trailed sadly after their daughter's escape path. "What did Meredith say? Is she okay?"

Amelia nodded with a sad smile. "She's cleared. She can work out slowly and get back into her normal exercise routine."

"Oh, but she won't. She'll want to catch up with her team and hurt herself. The school needs a note so they know she's still supposed to take it easy." Addison fretted.

"That would probably be a very good idea. Our dear Tessa has double the stubborn genes running through her."

Addison nodded, still looking concerned. "Can you pass on a message for me? Please?"

Pursing her lips, her sister nodded.

"Can you tell her I love her? And that I miss her? I'm sure she thinks she knows that, but she needs reminding. I'd tell her myself, but I don't think she'd stop to listen."

Tears welled up in Addison's eyes and Derek pulled her into his side. Amelia nodded and leaned closer to the couple.

"I'll have her home soon. It's not that I mind having her with me, I love it; I just know the kid's best place is with you two, no matter what she thinks. She still loves you. Tessa's just hurt."

The trio just looked at each other hopelessly before each going their separate ways. It didn't take long to find Tessa curled up in Amelia's desk chair, absentmindedly moving the mouse across the screen of her computer.

"This has gone on long enough, Tessa. Your parents are _miserable._ They know they hurt you but they didn't do it on purpose. But you, you are purposely punishing them for an accidental mistake. This cruel, vengeful person you're becoming; I don't like it. It's not my niece I have loved all her life. This is not the sweet Tessa your parents have raised. Honestly, I don't recognize you."

She hadn't meant for her words to hurt Tessa as much as they did. They were only supposed to make her see the error of her ways. But, as soon as Tessa looked up at her, Amelia knew she had gone too far.

"You think I want to be this way? I'm not doing it on purpose. Me leaving like I just did, it's the kindest thing I could've done. The meanest things I've ever thought spring into my mind when I see them and it's all I can do to keep them from spewing out. I don't want to hurt them and I know they don't want to hurt me, but every time I see them, I hear my mom telling me she's pregnant. And I feel betrayed all over again. I want to forgive them; I really do. I want to go back home and I want my mom to comfort me after I wake up from a nightmare. I just can't do it."

The defeat in her voice was heartbreaking, and Amelia finally saw the inner battle her niece was fighting and losing. For the past two weeks, Tessa had been trying. She had been trying to forgive her mother and father for their mistake, and she'd suffered for her efforts. No amount of makeup could hide the dark bags under the young girl's eyes, leftover from sleepless nights and nightmares Amelia couldn't help chase away. Tears were slowly leaking out of Tessa's eyes and she swept them away angrily. No matter how many times she'd been told that it was more than okay to cry, to her it still felt like a weakness and she hated herself for letting it happen so much.

Slowly, Amelia approached her, and pulled her into her arms. "I have an idea you're going to immediately shoot down, but eventually going to realize it's brilliant. I think you and your parents should have a session with Dr. Taylor."

Against her, Tessa stiffened, and Amelia could feel the refusal the teen was about to throw out, but the neurosurgeon stopped her. "Listen, it could help. Obviously you three need to talk, and there's no safer place than therapy."

Tessa nodded, silently agreeing with her aunt. "I guess. Although I now wish I had mentioned this whole mess at the last session."

Amelia pulled back quickly and titled Tessa's head up with her fingertips to make the girl look at her. "You didn't even tell her your mother's pregnant?"

The youngest Shepherd flinched as if even the words physically hurt her, but nodded sheepishly.

"Any particular reason why?"

Tessa shrugged. "Didn't feel like addressing it."

Amelia shook her head tiredly. "Sometimes I forget you're a Shepherd because you're so much like your mother, but then you avoid a problem so expertly you could be mine."

A sliver of a smile returned to Tessa's face. "You make it sound like a bad thing."

"It's not, I guess. I mean, it's not very healthy, so you probably should try to stop the whole avoidance thing, but being like me isn't that bad. Well, some aspects are, especially the drug addiction thing; then again I am incredibly strong and resilient so there's that in there too."

Tessa gave her aunt a wider smile and she knew her earlier words were forgiven. Best friends couldn't stay mad at each other for long. Amelia's pager went off loudly, startling them both. A quick glance down told her to get to the pit as soon as possible, so she began to back out of her office. With a flash, she remembered the message she was supposed to pass along.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Your mom gave me a message for you. She says she loves and misses you."

The teen didn't react, just began to pick at her nail. The brunette's slim hand was wrapping around the doorknob when she heard her mumble, "Tell her I love her, too."

Amelia didn't turn around, but smiled anyway. The hospital was chaotic; some sort of accident on the freeway had the pit overflowing. She spotted Addison attempting to tie a protective gown over her designer dress. The neurosurgeon slipped behind her and quickly knotted the strings at her neck and waist. The red head smiled gratefully over her shoulder and pulled her hair up out of her face.

"We came up with an idea."

Addison quirked a brow. "We being you and my daughter?"

"Yes. We thought-well, actually I thought- that it would be a good idea for the three of you to talk to Dr. Taylor together. Tessa agreed, albeit reluctantly. It's the perfect place for you guys. Tessa already considers it a safe place to talk, so she'll be more open and honest. What do you think?"

Still adjusting the gown, Addison pursed her lips. "She's willing to be in the same room with me for more than a heartbeat?"

Amelia rolled her eyes even though her statement was legitimate. "Yes, she is. Despite what her behavior suggests, she wants to be with you guys again and really wants to forgive you. I've learned a lot about my munchkin in the past two weeks, and the biggest thing I've learned is that she is the biggest mommy's girl-in the best way- I've ever met and she really needs her mom. Make an appointment and you'll have your girl home in no time."

Patients were being assigned left and right, and other doctors were dodging through the blood and gore covering the floor, but Addison smiled all the same at the thought. A bleeding pregnant woman was pulled in and Addison began to follow her. Over the chaos Amelia shouted, "She said she loves you too."

It was almost heartbreaking how big Addison smiled when she said that. Six hours flew by as patients were sutured and saved or revived and lost. Finally, Amelia's last patient was taken to recovery and she returned to her office to find Tessa curled up on the couch, Amelia's lab coat draped over her. With a tired smile, she shuffled over and gently stroked Tessa's hair.

"Wake up, sleeping beauty. Time to go home." The teenager groaned and pulled the white coat tighter around her. "I know you're tired and as soon as we get home you can go straight back to bed, okay?"

That roused Tessa from her slumber and she sat up to yawn and stretch. "What happened?"

"Five car pile-up. Someone got drunk and thought they were sober enough to drive. Three teenagers died."

Tessa winced as she got to her feet. "That's awful. I don't know how you do it. Did the guy live?"

Amelia sighed and grabbed her bag from under her desk. "I don't know. Your dad was taking him up to the OR with Hunt in tow so possibly. Although for those kids' families I hope not," She stopped, looking at her niece with pain in her gaze. "Sometimes, the universe is terribly unfair."

Tessa nodded solemnly and shuffled over to wrap her arm around her aunt's waist. "I couldn't agree more."

Quietly, the two made their way out of the building, pausing to say goodnight to various friends. Somehow they managed to make it out of the hospital without running in to either Shepherd, and Tessa had never been so happy to have both her parents in surgery. Though sparks of anger still dashed through her mind when she thought of her mother, there was now there was also guilt and want mixing in there as well. She missed her mother. She missed the way she always knew when a nightmare had her in its claws and knew how to make it release her. Amelia was great and really tried to help her niece, but it just wasn't the same. She didn't know what she needed in perfect sync because she wasn't her mom.

Despite her efforts on the way home, her exhausted thoughts drifted to her future sibling. She could deny that she wanted the baby until she was blue in the face, but that wouldn't stop it from being born in a matter of months. She hoped it was a boy. A little brother would great for her dad. Tessa knew that he loved her more than words but she had always been closer to her mom. Besides, a little brother would be adorable. With her luck, it would be a little girl and openly more liked and wanted than she. Go figure. She and her aunt stumbled into the apartment and somehow she got into the shower. It was Wednesday, and for the first time in a long time, Tessa was dreading school. Sleep trumped school right now. When she got out of the steamy room, Amelia was waiting for her in the living room, phone in hand.

"Your mom just called. She got all three of you in with Dr. Taylor tomorrow afternoon. That's good, right?"

Tessa shrugged. "Sure. Get it over with."

Amelia sighed and tossed her phone on the couch. "You're going to try, right? You're at least going to try to fix this?"

The teen nodded. "I am. I just have to be surly about it because I'm a teenager."

"Oh, that makes so much sense. Now get to bed. You're a real bear to wake up in the morning."

With an eye roll, Tessa padded over to hug her aunt before turning down the hall and climbing into the guest bed. She listened carefully for Amelia to head to bed herself before grabbing her charging phone to open her music. She had created a playlist with all the songs that lulled her to sleep and for the past week, she had awoken with her earbuds in. Thursday morning was no different. Except the immediate realization that today was not going to be a good day. Not only did she have to speak with her parents, she had an algebra II test she had completely forgotten to study for _and_ a short answer to complete in English. She hated short answers. Just to comply with her sour mood, Tessa pulled on a soft, oversized black sweater and black skinny jeans with her scuffed Doc Martens. She had painted her nails black two days prior and the polish was still looking good. For some reason, not only did the dark shade make her feel smug in her bad mood, it also made her feel strangely powerful. Checking her outfit once more, Tessa sauntered down the hall to see Amelia already awake and dressed, eating a bowl of oatmeal and reading the paper. When she saw her niece coming towards her from the corner of her eye, she put the paper down to greet her.

"Morning, kid. I didn't get the goth memo."

Tessa rolled her eyes as she poured herself a cup of coffee and grabbed her own bowl. "It matches my soul."

"Okay, I was joking about the goth thing before, but that comment has me a little concerned."

The teen plopped down in the bar seat next to Amelia and began to eat. "I just wanted to look edgier," She peered down at herself, suddenly self-conscious. "Do I look bad?"

Guiltily, Amelia hurried to reassure the girl. "No! You look great. You look fierce and brave. I was just playing with you."

Still looking doubtful, Tessa went back to her breakfast. "So, what time is my session?"

"I think your mom said it was at two. I know you don't like missing school, but I think this was the latest she could get. I said I would pick you up, but if I can't, look for Wilson. She's on my service today."

Tessa made a face. "Not Edwards? What are you going to do without your right hand?"

Amelia shook her head. "I don't know, but Jo is good. She really tries to learn and she has great bed side manner. I'm sure we'll be fine."

The two hurriedly finished their breakfasts and Amelia rushed to drop off her niece at school. Tessa waved as Amelia drove off before turning to enter the school. Liv was sitting at their normal table and she walked over to join her fiery haired friend.

"Guess who got cleared to work out with her team?"

Liv looked up excitedly, her eyes shining. "Are you serious? That's fantastic! Coach was saying at practice last night that if we didn't get you back soon she would have to play Jenny in your position. She's a nice girl but a lousy midfielder. Plus, it just wasn't the same without you running laps beside me."

Tessa sat down next to her and sighed. "I know. The only bad part is I still have to take it slow. Today's weight room day so I'll probably just end up in the trainer's room for him to give me a workout schedule."

Liv nodded before turning her focus back on the mess of papers covering the table. Tessa recognized the formulas and equations as the exam they had later that morning. With a gasp, she reached for one.

"Oh my god, you have the review. I completely forgot last night and was about to go in blind."

Liv rolled her eyes. "Of course I have the review. You know my mother; do you really think she doesn't have my testing schedule memorized?"

Liv's mother was a history professor at the University of Seattle, and quite often micromanaged her daughter's school work. Tessa smiled at her.

"But you're second in our class. Maybe it does you some good."

Liv groaned. "Yeah, behind you. How is it that you spent the entire summer locked in some pervert's basement and still end up in the top of our class?"

Tessa chuckled. Liv was the only person brave enough to joke about Tessa's recent past. When people heard her make a comment like that, they usually gave Tessa a horrified look and Liv an offended one. But Tessa didn't mind; she liked it. It made her feel normal. The girls continued to study until the bell rang, and then they parted ways. French had become easily one of her favorite classes. They were currently learning about the French revolution and though the rest of her class found it immensely boring, she was fascinated about the time period and Marie Antoinette. Much too soon for her liking, Tessa found herself sitting next to Liv in algebra, watching her teacher pass out the dreaded test. Once it was placed on her desk, she was happily surprised to see her rapid review this morning had helped the pieces she had been missing all week suddenly fit perfectly. With confidence leaking out of her, Tessa handed it in at the end of the period and promptly lost her good mood as she entered English.

Mrs. Mackenson sat at her computer, grading papers. As Tessa entered, she looked up with an excited smile.

"Are you ready to rock this short answer?"

Tessa simply shook her head and sat down. "Sorry, no. Short answers and I don't typically get along. Essays and I are much better friends."

Her teacher titled her head quizzically. "Why's that?"

The teen shrugged. "I don't know, honestly. I know how to write them and sometimes I ace them, but sometimes I just completely miss the mark."

Mrs. Mackenson leaned closer to her. "Well, if you're still struggle after this one, I want you to come to my class before school so we can practice, okay?"

Tessa smiled and nodded as the bell rang and her teacher hurried off to hand out the prompts. Students all around her immediately began to write, but Tessa continued to reread the short instructions. All she had to do was answer a question from a book they had finished last week. Almost robotically, she began writing, the words erupting from her pencil like lightning. 30 minutes later, she turned in a beautifully written short answer with a smile.

Tessa entered the locker room with giddy energy running through her. She had never been so excited to pull on the workout clothes she'd been assigned last year. Nikes carrying her to the trainer's office, Tessa chatted with Coach Peters, filling her in on Dr. Grey's orders.

"Well, I'm happy to have you back. We really need you. Go to Jefferies, and then come find me in the weight room when you're done."

Tessa nodded. She would be allowed to run and lift, albeit lightly all around. The trainer also wanted her in once a week so she could inform him of her progress. The rest of the afternoon passed by in a flash, and soon a student aid was collecting her from World History. Jo Wilson was waiting for her in the office, looking slightly annoyed. Tessa assumed it was because she was probably missing some amazing surgery to pick up some snot nosed teenager.

"Hey. Dr. Shepherd said I had to have you back before 2. Let's go."

Tessa smiled at her sweetly, trying to guilt her into a better mood. "Thank you for picking me up, Jo. I'm sorry you had to probably miss some important surgery, but I really appreciate it."

The young resident seemed surprised to hear the sincerity in her voice and Jo blinked at her before speaking.

"Oh. Well, it's really not that much trouble. I was on scut so it really wasn't that important."

The two brunettes hurried out to Jo's beat up car and rode the short drive to the hospital. Jo made sure Tessa knew what floor to go to before dashing off to the ER. With anxiety rushing through her, Tessa checked with Dr. Taylor's secretary and sat fidgeting in the waiting room chair. Her fingers tugged idly on the hairband on her wrist. The mysteries the next hour would hold had Tessa's mind in such a fog she didn't even hear the door open when her parents came in. it wasn't until her mother stood directly in front her, looking at her expectantly.

"Tess? Are you okay, sweetie?"

The teenager nodded vigorously and sprung up from her seat when her therapist opened the door. She slipped through it before her parents and wandered to Dr. Taylor's office and chose her normal spot on the couch. Addison and Derek followed unsurely, as if they were in the wrong place. They seemed to know better than to sit next to their daughter and chose the small loveseat against the other wall. Dr. Taylor gave them each a patient smile before turning her full attention on Tessa.

"I'm surprised to see you back here so soon, Tessa. What seems to be the problem?"

Tessa licked her lips, considering her words. She could be unnecessarily blunt or sweetly innocent. She decided on middle ground.

"My mother is pregnant."

The doctor's eyes widened; she obviously remembered the conversation that the two of them had a few weeks ago.

"I see. I assume this has caused a rift between you then?"

Derek snorted. "You could say that." Tessa glared at him.

"What do you mean, Dr. Shepherd?"

He shifted in his seat. "After we told Tessa the news, she took it rather hard, which we expected. We didn't expect her to move into my sister's home for over two weeks and completely ignore us."

The doctor's gaze returned to her patient's. "You hadn't mentioned any of this."

Tessa folded her arms over her chest. "I know."

"Do you want to tell me why?"

The teen bit her lip and nodded. "I thought if I didn't talk about it, then maybe it wouldn't happen. That it wasn't real."

Dr. Taylor nodded like she fully agreed. "And what would happen in nine months when there's a brand new little baby living in the room down the hall from you?"

Tessa bit her tongue to keep a mean comment from escaping her. "I don't know. I hadn't fully thought out my little plan."

"There's no need to be so rude, Tessa." She ignored her mother's chastising from her corner.

"Did you really think just avoiding this would make it go away?"

Tessa actively continued to avoid her parents. "A girl can hope."

"That is enough. We are here to get help. You promised your aunt that you would try and you are actively not trying." Derek snapped at his daughter, more in hurt than anger.

Dr. Taylor turned to her parents. "You're correct, she's not trying, but not because she doesn't want to. The walls she uses to protect herself are up. She's defensive because she doesn't want to be hurt. Let her break them down herself. Also, try to keep calm and not snap at her. I know you are both hurt as well, but it really does no good," At the couple's agreeing nod, she turned back to Tessa. "Please continue explaining your thinking."

The teen sighed. "I don't know what I was thinking, honestly. I was mad and hurt and I didn't want to hurt them so I left. I didn't mean to leave for so long but I kept hearing her say that she was pregnant and I felt hurt all over again. I don't know how to forgive them. I don't even know if I should forgive them. Logically, l know they really haven't done anything to be sorry for, but it's hard to distinguish logic from emotion."

The therapist nodded carefully. "They hurt you. Not intentionally, of course. But, in your mind, your worst fears are starting to come true. I'm sure you have a lot of guilt coursing through you right now because you feel like you hurt your parents, but-"

"I told them I hate them."

Dr. Taylor raised her eyebrows at the admission. "Why?"

"Because in that moment, I did. I hated them for lying to me and I hated them for not stopping me from leaving. It was like they already moved on."

Addison sniffled from the couch. "You told us not to. We didn't want to upset you anymore than you already were."

Tessa finally turned her burning green eyes on her mother. "You didn't go after me. No matter what I said, you always followed me to make sure I was okay. You didn't this time, and I felt like you already made your choice."

That sent Addison sobbing. The tears had already been building up in her eyes, but at her daughter's reasoning, all control was lost. She muffled them into a tissue she pressed against her face. Dr. Taylor pushed the box of tissues closer to her, knowing she would probably need more. Her watchful eyes flickered to Derek, but he was too busy staring at his daughter to notice.

"Do you know how we felt when you walked out that door? It was like we lost you all over again. Walking past your empty bedroom was like you never came home. Then you didn't speak to us. You mother was already going through a tough time and you had to add to that. You were so self-absorbed you didn't even stop to think of her health. That was most unbearable thing I have ever experienced, and it was all because you were being a brat."

Tessa jerked her head back at the name like he had smacked her. Addison paused in her weeping to look up at him curiously. Dr. Taylor cleared her throat and sat back in her leather chair.

"Why do you say that, Derek?"

"Because she was. She was mad and pouting like a child, all because she didn't get her way."

Tessa sat up straighter in her seat, her gaze hard. "I was not pouting. I was so upset I didn't know what to do with myself. I expressed my fears quite clearly the night before your little announcement and you two just blatantly lied to my face. You can say that when you made those promises that you didn't know, but I won't believe you for a second. Mom probably had an idea all week that she was pregnant and she was trying avoid it, hoping she was mistaken."

Before Derek could respond, Dr. Taylor interjected. "You also seem to be forgetting that Tessa has recently been through a very traumatic event and she is still shifting through her feelings about that as well. Your daughter has a lot to deal with and while you didn't intend to, the news of your new child has added to this immensely. Tessa has a right to feel however she feels. Also, I will not ask you again to keep your temper in check, Dr. Shepherd."

Still seething, Derek sat back in his seat. Tessa averted her gaze from again and took a deep breath.

"I've lost all my trust in you guys, and I don't know how you'll get it back. I want to come home. I want to be with you guys again. I- I don't know, maybe I want a little sibling too, but I can't- I don't know how-"

The teen stumbled over her words as more and more flooded her brain. This was too much. Her father disgusted with her and her mother weeping just feet away was too much. Her breathing became shallow and rapid as her heart raced. Her fingers clawed at her chest, feeling the need for oxygen with every weak breath. She was having a panic attack; it wasn't her first and it probably wouldn't be her last, but they never got any easier. With three doctors in the room with her, they all recognized the signs and jumped to help her. Unfortunately, that seemed to make the lack of air that much worse, so she leapt from the couch and out of the increasingly small office. Her feet carried her blindly down the hall and out of the therapist's waiting room out to the bustling hospital. Somehow, she made outside and stumbled onto one of the benches that lined the sidewalk. Gasping raggedly, air filtered in again slowly, and the world focused again around her. Much to her surprise neither one of her parents or Dr. Taylor followed her out. She was completely alone. Gradually, her heart rate became regular and normal thinking function returned to her brain. Everyone in the office was probably worried sick and awaiting her return. Then again, if they were really concerned, wouldn't they have followed her? The thought made any sense of progress made disappear. With a disappointed sigh, Tessa stared at what she could make out of the Seattle Skyline from her vantage point, her thoughts drifting once again to that new baby. Her world was about to change. Maybe even for the better. Though there were some serious cons about a new baby, she had yet to fully consider the pros.

It would be a good way to start over. A baby wouldn't know her past; it wouldn't be able to judge her and would love her unconditionally as its big sister. And she would teach him or her how to read just like her mother taught her. She could see a baby in her mind, a little boy with dark hair toddling towards her on stubbly little legs and reaching towards her with pudgy little arms. Or, a little ginger haired girl laughing as Tessa made a silly face. Unknowingly, she smiled. It was a good thought. A good, scary thought. A maybe she could do this thought.

Tessa took another deep breath before getting up and walking calmly in the hospital. When she returned back to Dr. Taylor's office, she was met with a cacophony of concerned questions. Addison pulled her into a hug and Tessa ignored the instinctive urge to resist. She hugged her mother back, just like she'd always done.

"Are you okay? What happened? Where did you go?"

The green eyed girl smiled reassuringly. "I'm okay. I just had a minor panic attack. I only made it just outside the hospital. I didn't go far and I promise that I am fine now. It was actually good. I thought about things."

Addison led her to the couch and pulled her down next to her, keeping a hold on her hand. Derek smiled apologetically at her, as if her panic attack was his fault. Tessa ignored him. Even if his comment had been said out of hurt, it was uncalled for and she wasn't quite ready to forgive him for anything. Dr. Taylor kept her keen gaze on her patient as she settled back in her chair.

"What did you think about?"

Tessa ran her free hand through her hair. "I just realized some things. I realized that there is no way in hell that the next six months are going to be easy, but I'll be able to do it. It's going to take a lot of work on all our parts, mostly mine though. I can't quite put my trust back into my parents yet, I'm just not ready. But, I want to make sure this baby comes into a home just like I did, with people wanting to love him or her. I want to make sure he or she knows that even from their messed up big sister they were wanted and loved. I guess I realized that it was only a stupid fear and I am ridiculously strong enough to conquer a stupid fear."

* * *

 **Poor Tessa just can't catch a break! review if ya do!  
**


	21. Hello

"Good morning. How is my lovely family?" Addison smiled as she swept into the kitchen, startling her husband and child. A surprisingly bright Seattle morning peered at her from the windows, coinciding with her bright mood. Derek automatically smiled back at her, but Tessa just eyed her warily before turning back to her book propped up on the counter. Addison gave her daughter a bigger smile and ran her hand down her daughter's hair.

"You look better this morning, sweetheart. You must have gotten a good night sleep."

Tessa flashed a quick smile at her. The air was still tense between them, but not because Tessa still held a grudge against her parents; that wasn't much of an issue anymore. The teenager seemed more ashamed of her previous behavior and wasn't really sure if she was forgiven. Addison had been treating her like normal, showering her with affection and love like always. Tessa gave it back shyly, as if it was all new to her. A month had passed since Tessa had moved back in with her parents. It was insanely awkward at first as they tested each other's boundaries and apologized for pushing too far. For the first few days, Tessa had holed up in her room, only coming down for food and to leave for school. She warmed up to her mother quicker than she had with her father, the need of her maternal touch stronger than her desire to be emotionless. Derek's dagger sharp words still dug under her skin and he had yet to apologize. She became stonily silent when he entered a room and only gave mono-syllable answers when there was no other option.

Addison ran her hand over her newly developed belly bump nervously. It was strange to see it when she looked in the mirror in the morning, but she loved it already. It made her miss Tessa being small and when her hurts where small enough to be kissed better. Now, her little girl was too grown up. She sat across from her as the mature teen read her driver's Ed manual. Tessa's green eyes flicked up to her mother curiously.

"Mom? Everything okay?"

With a sharp nod, Addison hurried to reassure her daughter. "Yes. Sorry, I was thinking," her gaze shifted to her still silent husband. "Tessa, today we have my 16 –week ultra sound today. I was wondering if you'd like to go."

The girl stiffened, but her eyes flew to her mother's hands cupping her belly. "Oh. I don't know. Is it- do you want me to go?"

The red head nodded eagerly. "I would love it if you came. You haven't made it to the other appointments, and it would really mean a lot to have you there. It would make me really happy, but if it makes you uncomfortable…" She drifted off, hoping her daughter would answer positively.

Tessa glanced back at her book before nodding slowly. "Okay. I'll go. Just give me a minute to get dressed." She wore sweats and an oversized tee shirt.

Addison smiled as her daughter walked out of the room. She turned around to Derek excitedly. "Isn't this great?"

Derek nodded stiffly. "If she actually gets in the car."

His wife rolled her eyes. "Derek, what is the matter?"

The neurosurgeon got up from his seat at the table to put his coffee cup in the sink and considered his answer carefully before delivering it to his hormonal wife.

"I don't trust her yet, Addison. I want to, believe me. I want my girl back. She hurt us badly with her behavior and she needs to gain our trust back slowly, especially with a new baby in the house. Her going to this appointment with us is a good sign, but you practically forced her into the decision. You said it would make you so happy if she were to go and there's no way she can say no to that."

Addison crossed her arms over her chest and stared her husband down. "Tessa already has my trust back. Derek, she was hurt. She made a few bad calls but she apologized profusely and came home. Tessa is also a teenage girl who's already going through a mess of feelings. She warmed back up to me and is almost back to normal, but that's because I welcomed her home with open arms, not open hostility."

Derek opened his mouth to argue back, but Tessa arrived at the kitchen doorway, looking nervous. She'd obviously heard them.

"Is everything okay?"

The smile she received from her mother did little to ease her nerves, but she pretended it did its job anyway. Addison grabbed a stack of papers from the counter and began to walk to their entry way. Tessa stopped her as she reached to open the door.

"Mom, put a coat on. You already get cold easily and it's chilly out there. I'll grab it for you."

Before her mother could say a word, the teen dashed back up the stairs and towards the master bedroom. Derek emerged from the kitchen just in time to see her land on the top step. He turned to his wife with a frown, assuming the worst.

"She's not going is she?"

Addison smiled smugly at him. "Of course she is. She ran up to get me a coat."

Tessa bounded back down the stairs, a jacket in her hands. She helped slip it over her mother's shoulders and quickly pulled on her own fleece zip-up. "Okay, I'm ready."

The growing family made their way towards the hospital, Tessa fiddled with the braid she'd twisted her hair into. Her fingers always had to be playing with something; a nervous habit she'd picked up and was in no hurry to get rid of. A question burned in her mind, but her tongue didn't seem to think it was a good idea to ask. Before she lost her nerve, the words flew out.

"So mom, will you be able to tell if it's a boy or girl today? Or is it way too early?"

Caught off guard by the question, Addison hesitated. She turned around as best she could in her seat to face her daughter.

"Well, technically we could find out, if the baby is in the right position. I mean, I'm pretty sure I could at least tell. But, your dad and I didn't really discuss if we even want to know yet. We may want it to be a surprise."

Her daughter raised her eyebrows at the response. "Finding out you were pregnant wasn't surprise enough?"

The red head frowned at the comment and Tessa held up her hands innocently. "Sorry, sorry. Too far. But, really, you don't want to know?"

Her mother turned back to look at Derek, signaling that the question was his to answer as well. "I don't know. Honestly, I'm surprised we didn't discuss this sooner. It is kind of important." Derek glanced at her and shrugged.

"I want to know, but it's up to you."

Addison sighed at his answer. "Thanks for helping."

Tessa leaned forward excitedly. "I've got an idea. Okay, first of all, did you find out what I was going to be?"

Addison thought back over sixteen years ago to her first pregnancy. It hadn't been fun. Right from the get go, she's spent the first trimester visiting the toilet much more than she'd ever done in her life. Morning sickness was an understatement. It was so bad she couldn't attend work, which made her crazy. But after the vomiting passed, it was textbook. She vaguely remembered the technician asking if they wanted to know the sex and how happy she was to hear it was a girl.

"Yes, we did find out. I remember because my mother said it would be irresponsible as a mother to not find out so your nursery could be decorated accordingly."

Tessa rolled her eyes at her maternal grandmother's ridiculous demands of her mother. "Okay, so you found out with me. To keep it even, you shouldn't find out with this baby."

Addison considered her daughter's suggestion carefully. "I guess we can do that," As a thought struck her, she twisted in her seat as best she could to look her daughter in the eye. "Do you want to know, sweetheart?"

Her daughter looked surprised that Addison would even ask her the question. "Me?"

"Yeah, you. Do you want to know if you're having a baby brother or sister? This baby isn't just mine and your dad's; it's yours too. Your opinion is just as important."

The teen rubbed the palm of her hand across her denim covered thigh. "Well… I want to know. If that's okay."

Vaguely, the red head noticed that they had arrived at the hospital, but she couldn't take her eyes off her daughter, who looked so unsure. Derek parked the car, but made no move to get out, obviously waiting on his family. Undoing her seat belt, Addison opened the door and carefully climbed out of the car only to attempt open Tessa's door. Her daughter had already begun to climb out herself and had her legs poised to land on the concrete before her mother stepped in front of her.

"Then we'll find out. Tessa, I can't stress to you enough how much I want you involved with this. I know how you feel and I want to ease all of those worries and fears as quick as I can. I know you probably don't really want to be at this appointment, but I am so happy you came-"

Knowing that her mother would continue to ramble, Tessa held up her hand. "Mom, I came today because you needed me and wanted me too. Plus I want to know that everything is going okay health wise, and I know you wouldn't dare tell me if it wasn't. I am warming up to the idea of a baby, thanks to you. Your excitement is contagious."

Addison smiled at her and began to pull her happily towards the doors, her smirking husband following. The family made their way into the hospital, the two surgeons finding it odd to enter as patients instead of doctors. Tessa trailed behind them, her eyes searching for a familiar face as they waited for an elevator. From behind, Tessa felt someone grab her shoulders and she flashed around, ready to strike. She frowned when she saw Alex holding up his hands innocently.

"Damn it Alex! Don't do that!"

Addison and Derek frowned from behind her, staring at the younger man. "What the hell did you do that for? You couldn't have possibly thought it was a good idea."

Alex shrugged. "It wasn't, but it felt right. Besides, you're smiling now. It worked."

"I'm only smiling because I'm amazed such an idiot managed to become a doctor."

Tessa slapped at his shoulder when he made a face at her. "Thanks for giving me a heart attack, though, really. It was just what I needed."

"No problem. Now, I have to go save the lives of little children before your mom yells at me for goofing off down here with you."

The teenager gave him a pointed look. "You're not an intern anymore and she can't yell at you."

Alex shook his head in disagreement. "No, she can still yell; it's just that now I can yell back."

"Tessa."

Derek said her name patiently from the elevator, where he stood holding the door open. She quickly bid her friend goodbye and followed her parents. As she came to stand by Addison, she could feel the woman smirking at her. Tessa gave her a glance out of the corner of her eye.

"What?"

Addison shook her head, still smirking. "Nothing. I just find it funny that the two of you get along so well. It's kinda cute."

Her daughter nodded. "He's like the big brother I never wanted." Her comment, intended to be an innocent joke, made her mother pull back and look at her with sad eyes. Immediately realizing what she said, Tessa hurried to amend herself.

"No, that's not what I meant. Really. I just meant that we get along like siblings. I really don't want Karev as a brother." She smiled slightly, hoping her flippant comment was forgiven. Her mother nodded, though she didn't look entirely sure that Tessa was being honest. As the doors opened for the OB's floor, the expectant mother split apart from her family, quickly explaining she needed the restroom before her appointment. Father and daughter walked in together silently into the waiting room, already filled with other women at varying degrees of pregnancy. Tessa found three empty chairs fairly close together next to a woman with her hand resting on a bulging belly. She glanced up quickly as Tessa settled next to her, before returning to her gossip magazine and then looking at Tessa again, this time in disbelief. Feeling her eyes on her, Tessa turned her head towards her and smiled awkwardly. The woman clicked her tongue and placed her manicured hand on the teen's forearm.

"Oh, honey. Are you here all alone?"

Tessa raised her eyebrows at the unexpected contact, but shook her head. "Uh, no. my mom and dad are here."

The woman nodded as if the information relieved her. "That's good, you need support. Are you scared?"

The young girl's already raised brows furrowed in confusion and her eyes darted across the room to see her dad still checking her mother in for her appointment. "No, not really."

The woman, who had yet to introduce herself but seemed to have no trouble invading Tessa's life, look surprised. "Well, this is my third, and I'm still terrified. Every baby is different and has different effects on the body. I'm 36 weeks, so there's not much more to go. How far along are you? You can't be much with how tiny you are."

Tessa's eyes widened as realized the woman thought she was pregnant. Her face reddened as she tried to correct her thinking. She opened her mouth to speak but a rough, shocked voice spoke instead.

"My daughter is not pregnant."

Tessa turned in her seat to see her father standing behind her, looking slightly pale. The woman who had been talking to Tessa retracted her consoling hand and bit her lip, looking embarrassed.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry. I just assumed- I thought she came in alone-"

Tessa cut her off with a wave of her hand. "It's okay. I probably would have thought the same thing too if I were you."

A nurse opened the door and called out, "Macee Stevens!"

Tessa's attempted comforter got up with an apologetic smile and a struggle. She said sorry one more time before waddling through the doorway.

Tessa sat back in her seat with an embarrassed chuckled and looked at her father, whose complexion had not changed.

"Dad?"

Derek looked at her with wide eyes. "Sorry, that just caught me off guard. I just thought-after what happened to you-we could have easily been here for you, and that terrifies me."

Tessa understood what he meant. It was some sort of miracle that she didn't get pregnant after four months of unprotected rape. It was one of her first thoughts when she woke up in the hospital. Apparently God was looking out for her slightly in that sense. In a move that surprised even her, Tessa grabbed her father's hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I'm sorry."

Her father looked at her, surprise making his blue eyes wide. "What for, Tess?"

She sighed. "For putting you guys through everything that I have, especially the past couple of months. I should have been more understanding and better behaved through it all. I should've been thinking about mom more, too. I should've have seen how hard it was going to be for her, mentally and physically," She glanced around the room, making sure her mother hadn't come in yet, before leaning in to her father.

"I'm really worried about her. I've been looking up the risks of women having children when they're older. Not that mom's old by any means, but…"

Derek nodded as she trailed off, understanding what she meant exactly. "I've noticed how more protective you are of her. Making sure she's eaten, had plenty of water, and getting enough sleep; even that thing with her jacket this morning."

Tessa looked down at their joined hands. "Was I being that obvious?"

"No, not really. I don't think she's noticed at least. You're just doing all of the things I normally do."

The teen began to gently rub her thumb over the top of her dad's hand absentmindedly. "Are we good, dad? I don't like how things between us have been lately."

Derek smiled and moved his arm that Tessa held to wrap it around her shoulders. "We're good, sweetheart. I promise. We should have been good a long time ago."

The door to the office opened and her mother stepped through, looking relieved at the sight of both of them smiling. She took the seat next to her husband and grabbed his free hand.

"What's everyone so happy about?"

Tessa shook her head and was about to answer when the door opened and a nurse stuck her head out. "Addison Shepherd!"

The red head jumped up from her seat and her slim hands came up to cup around her abdomen. She took a few steps before looking back and making sure her family was following. The chatty nurse took Addison's weight and measured her baby bump as she gushed about all the wonderful things she'd heard about the famous Dr. Montgomery Shepherd. She left the Shepherds alone in an exam room with the promise that the doctor would be in soon. Tessa sat on a chair in the corner of the room as Derek stood next to his wife as she leaned back on the table. Her green eyes flickered around the room at the different posters demonstrating how a baby developed. Across from her was a cork board with its surface littered with photos of babies at different ages. All happy endings. Her feet carried her over to the pictures and she tried to pick out the cutest one. She smiled and ran her finger over a glossy shot of triplet newborns being seen for the first time by their older sister, who couldn't have been more than three. Her little hands were pressed against her cheeks in surprise and the smile on her face said that it was a good one. Tessa flashed around at the three quick knocks on the door before the doctor came in,a petite blonde woman came in with a clipboard and smile.

"Hello, Doctors. It's nice to see you. Oh my, is this the lucky big sister I've heard so much about?"

Her sharp blue eyes focused on Tessa from across the room and she moved quickly to shake her hand.

"Yes, I'm Tessa. It's nice to meet you Doctor..?"

"Dr. Anderson." The woman supplied before turning back to her patient.

"So Addison, how have you been feeling?"

Addison adjusted herself on the table and pulled her shirt up slightly to expose her rounded belly while Dr. Anderson began to start the ultra sound machine. "Better. The morning sickness is almost gone, but I've definitely been struggling to sleep a bit more."

The doctor nodded sympathetically. "I'm afraid that's just part of the miracle. Though, I'm sure you are more than perfectly aware of the side effects of pregnancy, not only with your job, but with firsthand experience." She nodded towards Tessa, who had come forward to stand next to her father.

Addison shook head with an embarrassed smile. "To be honest, I don't remember much from being pregnant with Tessa. I remember the awful morning sickness and I remember feeling her move for the first time, but not all the little things in between then and her birth. I'm kinda experiencing them for the first time all over again."

"To be fair, it was over sixteen years ago." Derek added quickly.

"Well of course-"The good doctor was interrupted by the quick, rushing beats of the unborn baby's heart. Addison and Derek's eyes immediately welled up with tears at the grainy picture of their second child. Tessa found herself being memorized too. She stepped closer and peered through narrowed eyes to distinguish the baby's arms, legs, and head. Even with no medical training, she could make it out. Addison took her hand and pulled her out of her reverie. The teen smiled at the happy tears that shone in her mother's eye.

"Tessa, you just met your baby sister."

* * *

" _Mommy!" The wailing from her five year old sent Addison sprinting from her bedroom and towards her daughter's. Her heart beat erratically in her chest as she skidded to a stop outside her little girl's door. Tessa was curled up in her bed, arms wrapped around her stomach and her little face scrunched up in pain._

" _What's the matter, baby? Do you feel bad?" She moved closer in concern and swept her daughter's hair off her forehead only to pull back with a sharp intake of breath. She was burning up._

" _My tummy hurts so bad, mommy. Make it stop!" Tessa moaned as she curled up in a smaller ball. Addison sat down next to her and continued to stroke her hair. The little girl had been complaining about an upset stomach all day and some after school yesterday afternoon, but Addison had been warned that she'd traded lunches with a friend. She'd questioned her daughter about what she'd eaten, but was satisfied that nothing would put her in danger. Until now. The young mother had sent her daughter upstairs to take a nap and relax, but not 30 minutes in, Tessa was obviously in tremendous pain._

" _Baby, let me see your tummy." Tessa complied reluctantly. She unlocked her arms from around her middle and laid flat on her back, waiting for her mother. Gently, Addison pressed along her daughter's abdomen, applying pressure at different spots. As she moved just right of her belly button, Addison pressed a bit harder and Tessa let out a cry._

" _Mommy, no! That really hurt."Tessa curled back up into a protective ball. Addison frowned in concern. It seemed like her baby girl was suffering from appendicitis. And Derek was at the hospital._

" _I know, baby. It seems like you need to go to the hospital." That made Tessa's watery eyes go wide with fear. With both of her parents working as residents, Tessa knew that you only went to the hospital when you were very sick._

" _I don't wanna!"_

 _Addison grabbed her daughter's small suitcase and began to pack it with a few stuffed animals and a couple changes of clothes. "Do you want to feel better?"_

"… _Yes."_

" _Okay then. The doctors will make you feel all better," Addison promised as she picked Tessa up and wrapped her blankie around her shoulders. Tessa immediately buried her head in her mother's hair and wrapped her little arms around her neck securely. "Can Heddie come?"_

 _Turning back around to her little girl's bed, Addison reached out and grabbed her daughter's furry best friend. "Of course Heddie can come. She would want to be with you."_

 _Hurrying down the stairs with her sick five year old in her arms, Addison yanked her bag over her shoulder and made sure to lock the door as they left._

" _Will Daddy be there?"_

 _The red head resident buckled Tessa in safely with her blankie and Heddie tucked around her."As soon as I call him he will be."_

 _It was four o'clock and if she hurried, they would just escape traffic. Putting the pedal to the medal, Addison pulled the car into the street towards her workplace. From behind her, she could the moans of her baby as she wiggled uncomfortably in her car seat._

" _Mommy, I think I'm gonna-"Tessa's weak words were cut off as vomit erupted from her mouth, coating the seat in front of her. Cursing, Addison pulled over and ripped off her seatbelt. Traveling with a young child had taught her to keep a bunch of ragged towels in the car and she used one to quickly wipe her daughter's red face and mop up what she could on the back of the car seat. Derek would have to take it to be cleaned-and soon. Tessa was crying again, this time shamefully._

" _I-I'm so-sorry mommy. I didn't mean to." Tessa had miraculously missed her blanket and toy, leaving them only wet from her many tears._

" _Shh, sweetheart. It's okay, it's okay. You're sick. You can't help it. I promise you'll feel better soon."_

 _Tessa nodded miserably and rested her head against the car seat. She kept her eyes closed tightly for the rest of the ride, which fortunately short. It wasn't long before Addison was scooping her little girl into her arms and carrying her into the emergency room. Luckily, her eyes landed on one of her interns._

" _Robinson! I need a bed and page PEDS."_

 _The young man nodded and quickly escorted his boss and her child to a vacant bed._

" _What's wrong, Dr. Shepherd?"_

 _Addison rolled her eyes. "Well, that's your job to tell me, but to save time, my daughter has appendicitis. Hook her up with IV fluids and antibiotics. She's terrified of needles, so you'll need a couple of nurses. Go!"_

 _Her intern took off, and she hoped he would remember all of that. She turned back towards Tessa and felt her heart break at the pain on her sweet little face. She sat down on the edge of the bed and gently tucked a strand of sweaty hair behind her ear._

" _Oh baby, I'm so sorry you feel bad. I have the best doctors ready to take care of you. I won't leave you, okay?"_

 _Tessa nodded and looked up with her big eyes. "Can you call Daddy? I want him too."_

 _Smiling softly, Addison pulled her phone out of her bag and dialed Derek's number, hoping he would answer._

" _Shepherd." Her husband's "doctor voice" in her ear made her smile in relief._

" _Derek."_

" _Addie? Is everything okay?"_

 _The young woman looked back down at her little girl worriedly. "No, not exactly. We're in the ER."_

" _What?! What happened?" In the back ground, she could hear him frantically running through hallways and yanking open doors._

" _Tessa has appendicitis. She's running a fever coupled with nausea and abdominal pain."_

 _Derek sighed on his end. "Is she in a lot of pain?"_

 _Even though he couldn't see, she nodded and ran her fingers through Tessa's hair. "I'm afraid our baby girl is fairly miserable. She's been asking for her daddy."_

" _I'm almost there. I'll see you in just sec. Bye."_

 _Addison smiled as she spotted her husband burst through the ER door, looking around the chaotic room frantically. She raised her hand waved it vigorously to make sure he saw her. His blue eyes locked onto hers and he quickly dashed over. Tessa smiled weakly when saw her father skid to a stop at the end of her bed._

" _Daddy. You made it."_

 _Derek smiled down at her and moved to press a kiss to her forehead. "Of course I did, sweetheart. I couldn't leave my best girl hanging."_

 _Tessa opened her mouth to say something, but a painful moan came out instead. Her parents both leaned forward, eager to lessen her pain even slightly._

" _Can we get some children's painkillers over here!?" Derek's shout sent interns sprinting and finally one returned, Robinson on his heels. The eager doctor began to hang bags of fluid above Tessa's head. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of gloves and grabbed a syringe from his other pocket. Tessa's eyes widened at the sight of it._

" _No, Mommy no! Don't let them stick me!" The little girl's hand reached desperately for her mother and Addison climbed into the bed with her, only to hold her arm still._

" _Tessa, baby, you have to calm down. I promise it won't even hurt that much and as soon as it's over, you'll feel so much better. Please just relax, baby girl."_

 _Her daughter buried her face into her chest, her warm tears soaking through her shirt. "Okay, Mommy. I'll be good."_

 _Derek nodded for Robinson to continue and the intern rubbed an alcohol swipe over Tessa's upper arm, making her shiver. He poised the needle to slip under her skin when a booming voice startled him._

" _Addison, Derek, I've already got an OR ready for your little girl and Parks is performing the procedure."_

 _Derek looked up to see his mentor, Richard Webber, standing behind him with sympathetic eyes. Addison sighed in relief and pressed a kiss to Tessa's forehead. As a medical professional, she knew her daughter would need surgery, but to have it confirmed and be so close made her heart skip a few beats. She held Tessa closer instinctively and the little girl looked up, obviously confused._

" _Mommy?"_

 _The red head swallowed thickly and looked down at her daughter. "Tess, Uncle Richard says you need to have surgery to feel better. I know that sounds scary, but they'll give you some medicine so you won't feel a thing."_

 _Tessa looked up between her parents, her face showing her fear. "Will you and Daddy be there?"_

 _Derek and Addison shared pained looks, and then turned back to Tessa. "No, baby. We'll be waiting for you in another room. But, Uncle Richard will be there and then after you wake up we'll be there too. We won't leave you ever."_

 _That seemed to placate the little girl and she nodded. Two nurses came forward and pulled the bars of her bed up. Her parents bent down and pressed kisses to the little girl's cheeks and temples and waited for her to kiss them back._

" _We love you so much, Tessa. We'll see so soon and you'll feel so much better." The nurses began to wheel her away and Derek grabbed Richard's arm before he followed._

" _Don't let anything happen to my daughter, Richard."_

 _The older man nodded solemnly and hurried to follow the closest thing to a granddaughter he had. Addison collapsed into Derek's arms, finally letting all of her worry flow._

" _She's been complaining all day that her tummy hurt. I should've listened; god, she's in so much pain-"_

 _Derek gently shushed her and held her tighter."It's okay. Tessa does exaggerate sometimes. How could you have known?"_

 _She shook her head sadly. "I'm her mother, I should've known."_

 _The two worried parents spent the next hour and a half waiting impatiently for any news of their precious baby girl. Finally, Dr. Amy Parks, PEDS attending, emerged from the double doors, smiling from underneath her scrub cap. Addison dashed up to her, questions flying from her mouth._

" _How is she? Did the procedure go smoothly? Can we see her?"_

 _The attending held up a hand, halting her questions. "Tessa did wonderfully and the procedure was text book. They just took her up to recovery. I'll take you back there."_

 _They followed eagerly and as soon as Addison caught a glimpse of her daughter, she loosened a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. In a trance, she walked over to her daughter's bedside and grabbed her little hand. Tessa was still under, her face peaceful and free of pain._

" _Hey baby girl. Mommy and Daddy are right here waiting for you to wake up. We love you so much and I can't wait to see your beautiful little eyes, so open them soon."_

 _Derek moved to her other side and stroked her soft hair. "How much stuff will she be able to sucker out of us after all this?"_

 _Addison smirked up at her husband. "Anything and everything, and rightfully so."_

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 **So, It's a girl! I couldn't quite figure out how to break the news so this chapter went through a few drafts. i hope the little flashback at the end was as cute as i planned it to be!  
**


	22. Sleepless in Seattle

**So, i know that many of you hoped that the baby was going to be a boy, but there are reasons that will appear later that made it being a girl necessary. and for the guest that asked, since this is already an AU story, let's pretend that Addison's early forties :) Not old but still slightly surprising to find out you're pregnant. Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

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Violent images darted through her mind as Tessa thrashed wildly in her bed. Robert was chasing her, and she could hear her mother screaming ahead. Her feet moved beneath her, but she went nowhere, all the while the monster behind her got closer. She could just make out her mother's silhouette in front of her when his thick, all too familiar hand grabbed her shoulders and shook her vigorously as he laughed. Her green eyes flashed open and more panic set in as a pair of eyes met hers. With a gasp, she pushed back quickly away from the burning gaze. In a daze, she belatedly realized it was her pregnant mother who had shaken her awake, and now she looked absolutely petrified. Tessa pressed her sweaty palm against her racing heart and closed her eyes. She flinched when she felt her mother's ghost across her knee.

"I'm fine."

"I can see that from the way you're shaking."

Tessa opened her eyes to meet her mother's, this time annoyed. Then, concern flashed through her. "Did I wake you?"

Addison shook her head and grabbed her daughter's hand gently. "No, I was thirsty. I was just passing by your room and I heard you breathing hard like you were running. I was worried, so I came in. It's taken me over five minutes to wake you."

"I'm sorry. I am fine though; just a nightmare. Go back to bed. You need to rest."

The red head shook her head. "But you need me."

Her sixteen year old glanced down at their joined hands and shuddered internally at the icy memory of her nightmare as it began to fade from her mind. Slowly, her heart rate slowed and the foolish feeling she always got after a nightmare made her cheeks flame.

"Mom, go back to bed. You don't need to worry about me; I can handle my nightmares just fine."

Addison frowned at Tessa, puzzled by her words. "I will always worry about you, never doubt that. I honestly will never be able to stop worrying about you because you are my baby and it's my job. And how long have you been handling these nightmares? When was the last time you got a full night's rest? And I mean at least eight hours, no interruption?"

Tessa bit her lip and thought back as far as she could. "When I first stayed with Amelia."

A sharp intake of air from her mother made Tessa wince. "Tessa… that was months ago. How could I not know you weren't sleeping?"

The young brunette shook her head. "I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to worry about me any more than you already were, and then by the time I realized it was getting worse and knew I needed to tell you…" She trailed off, but her eyes fell to her mother's swollen belly beneath the night shirt she wore. A heartbroken noise escaped Addison's lips and Tessa felt awful. She pulled away from her and got up from the bed. She didn't have even look at her mother to know that tears were falling down her cheeks. Slowly, Tessa made her way downstairs and made a glass of water and carried it back to her mom. Addison was wiping away tears as she walked in, looking oddly childlike when she looked up at her daughter.

"I noticed you didn't have a glass and I knew you were probably still thirsty." She held out the glass, thankful that her hands were no longer shaking. Addison took it with a grateful and sad smile. The two sat in uncomfortable, heavy silence. Tessa considered the weight of the words she had spoken. She hadn't told anyone just how little sleep she got. She woke at least six times a night and spent forever trying to convince herself that all the horrors that lived in her mind didn't exist outside it. Her grades were beginning to suffer; she'd never made below an A on her report card but there were now six B's marring her record. She'd yet to show her parents her grades, afraid they would stumble upon her secret. Tessa was tired of needing people to coddle her. She was an independent person before Robert ruined her life and she wanted nothing more to get back to that person. She needed to get back to that person before her baby sister arrived. Her parents wouldn't have time for her after that. So, she hid her lack of sleep by expertly applied make up and lies. But right in this moment, she really wanted her mother to herself. The teen was still standing beside her bed awkwardly, so she moved to her mother's other side and sat down softly. Addison was still nursing her water, but her eyes stared unfocused across the room.

"Mom, I didn't want to make your life any more complicated. I've caused so much stress for everyone lately, and I just couldn't add to it. It's not fair-"

"Tessa Adrianne, I don't know what to say. I can't believe you would do this. I can't believe you would hide the decline of your health from me… I can't believe I didn't notice."

Tessa swallowed thickly. "I guess I make a better Montgomery than we thought."

Addison shot her a sharp glare. "This isn't funny. You haven't been sleeping enough for weeks," She set down the glass and pressed her hands against her face. "I am an awful mother."

That made tears pop into Tessa's eyes. This was why she hadn't told anyone. It wasn't anyone's fault besides her own- and Robert's. "Oh no, Mom. You're not awful, not by any means. I've changed a lot since this past summer and part of that is that I've gotten really good at hiding things. If I don't want you to know, you won't."

Slowly, her mother lowered her hands from her face to look at her daughter. "That is so unhealthy. You are supposed to be working through this crap with Dr. Taylor; I thought you were making improvements. I feel like we just took five giant leaps backwards. If you thought I was worried about you before, you haven't seen anything yet. You are going back to bed right now and we will talk in the morning, because I will not be the reason you aren't getting more sleep. Good night. I love you."

Without waiting for Tessa to answer, Addison got up and pressed a kiss against her forehead and left without another word. Tessa listened for her mother to close her door before she lay back down and burrowed beneath her duvet. She'd messed up so bad. By some small miracle, she fell back into a dreamless sleep. Morning arrived with rain pounding on her window and thunder echoing in the sky. The green eyed girl groaned when she remembered what was in store for her today. She pondered the possibility of her being able to stay in bed all day. _Not very high_ , she realized as a knock sounded on her door.

"Tessa, you need to get up. Now." So, her mother had informed her of their talk last night. She heard his footsteps leave and she swung her legs over the edge of the bed to stand. Tessa checked the weather on her phone and sighed. Early December meant most days were cold and wet, not that she minded. Quickly, she pulled on a pair of black leggings and oversized tee shirt. No point in not being comfortable while she was being lectured.

"Tessa!"

Her mother was still angry. Oh, today was going to be fun. Quickly, she ran down the stairs, stopping right outside the kitchen, knowing that's where her parents waited. Her fingers found the hem of her shirt and she twisted them into it. A deep breath steadied her nerves slightly and she stepped into the room. Immediately, the disappointed frowns from her parents found her. She stepped farther into the kitchen and took a seat at the island, waiting for it to start.

"I'm sure you guys have something to say."

Derek nodded. "You could say that. Your mom tried to explain your logic to me, but considering that it was 2:37 in the morning, I wasn't really conscious. Why don't you give it a shot instead?"

A few heart beats passed as Tessa considered her words. "I know it doesn't make much sense, but didn't want to add to your problems with something as simple as me not sleeping. It didn't seem that important."

Addison shook her head. "Of course it's important. Sleep is essential for living and you haven't been sleeping. I am amazed you're even functioning right now, and I'm even more amazed that you were still doing well in school," she paused, reaching in the back pocket of her jeans. Her hand came back with a folded piece of paper that made sweat gather at Tessa's forehead. "Until I found this."

"I found your report card in your backpack this morning while you were asleep. I was wondering why I hadn't seen it yet, but now I know why." Blood pounded at her temples as the offending piece of paper landed on the counter. "Your grades have never been this low before."

"I know that."

"How long were you going to hide this from us?"

Tessa shrugged her shoulders, but the answer was already on her mind. "Until I brought them back up."

"That was your plan?"

The teen sighed. "I wouldn't really call it a plan; more like a cover-up."

Derek raised his eyebrows. "A cover-up?"

Tessa nodded. "Yeah, I didn't want you to find out that I was falling apart after I'd already put myself back together."

Husband and wife shared a look, but it was Addison who spoke. "We have something to tell you, and you aren't going to like it."

Tessa eyed her parents warily. "The last time you said something like that I found out I was going to be a big sister."

Addison rubbed her belly protectively. "Funny. But, I'm serious. Your father and I have decided that you will start taking the sleep medication Dr. Taylor mentioned a while ago. We already called in the prescription."

Their daughter simply shook her head. "No."

"No?"

"No. I looked up the side effects of that medication and I won't take it. Severe grogginess, dizziness, migraines, and extreme nightmares. None of those seem worth it. I won't take it. I haven't been just waiting for a change and immediate sleep. I've been doing some exercises that supposedly relax you and lead to rest. I mean, I just started them and I haven't noticed any changes yet, but still."

Derek rubbed his hand across his face. "That's not enough of a reason. We have also done our research and we, as your parents, have decided that you will take the medicine. There is no argument."

Tessa shook her head. "I believe I have the right to refuse you shoving pills down my throat. It is my body and I will not allow it." With that, she got up from her chair and walked calmly to her room, only to collapse on to her bed. Just as she got comfortable, she heard her mother's quiet footsteps coming into her room.

"That didn't go as well as planned."

Tessa looked up at her. "No, I suppose it didn't. I really do not want nor need to take those pills. I would prefer to gain control over it with natural attempts."

Addison snorted. "That's not something you normally hear from the daughter of two surgeons."

The girl shrugged. "I know, but not everything has to be fixed with chemicals mixed in a lab. I went to a homeopathic supplies store and got some natural sleeping aids. I sprayed my pillow with lavender and hung a dream catcher above my bed. I also did a few yoga moves and meditated for half an hour. If those things don't work, I read that melatonin can also be helpful."

The red head was almost surprised at the level of research her daughter did, but she wasn't completely. Tessa knew if it took much longer, they would notice. Despite the way she had talked to them downstairs, Tessa was right. They couldn't force her to take the medication, and they didn't want to. She'd had her doubts that Tessa would agree, but Derek had been sure that she would see how much it would help.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry that you felt like you were too much for me to worry about. I know that a lot has happened recently and I know that me being pregnant doesn't make it any easier, but you're my baby too. I need to take care of you and I want you to know that I am always here for you. Even when I'm in the middle of labor, I'll be there for you."

Tessa nodded unsurely. "I can't help but think you'll be a little distracted then. Besides, I need to get used to being put on the back burner. Babies are a lot of work and I can take care of myself. I know you're not abandoning me by any means, but I know I won't be the first thing on your mind in a few months."

It broke Addison's already fragile heart to hear that her daughter believed that as soon as the baby was born, she would be forgotten-that she expected to forgotten. Tears welled up in her eyes, which her sensitive girl immediately noticed.

"Oh, Mom I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry." Tessa reached up and used her thumb to wipe the tears off her cheeks. Though she hadn't let on about it, Addison had noticed that her daughter had become protective of her throughout her pregnancy. At twenty-two weeks, there was no longer hiding the bump that was her youngest daughter, or the effects of being pregnant at her age. Tessa was always hovering near by, making sure she was resting and drinking enough water. God forbid if the teenager caught her mother carrying something more than ten pounds. It was the only proof that she had that Tessa was okay with the baby. Not only was she concerned with Addison's health, but the baby's was high on her list too. When the red head came down in the morning, her prenatal vitamins were always waiting next to a glass of apple juice (the only kind of juice that didn't send her sprinting in the restroom). Tessa gently grabbed her mother's hand and pulled it in to her lap.

"Mom? Please stop crying. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry, really."

Addison shook her head to signal she was all right and quickly brushed the remaining tear drops away.

"I just… I don't understand why you think I'll just drop you as soon as this baby is born. Tessa, I love you. You're my baby too. You are my first-and for sixteen years, my only- child and you will always hold a special place in my heart, no matter what," she looked away for a moment, emotions getting the better of her for a moment. "I know what it's like to live without you, and I know what it's like to live with you resenting me, and I never want to experience either ever again. I love you more than anything on this earth and that will never, ever change. Don't ever think I won't be there for you, because I always will."

Tessa tucked herself against her mother's side, reveling in the fact that she still felt comfort and love there. Addison wrapped her arms around her girl, pulling her as close to her as possible and pressed a loving kiss to her forehead.

"If you ever doubt that I love you and want to be there for you, talk to me. Tell me. Always come to me."

Tessa nodded against her. Tears prickled in her eyes, but she was tired of crying. Tears wouldn't solve anything. Gently, she placed her hand on her mother's abdomen, right over her baby sister.

"Does she move a lot?"

Above her, Addison smiled. "Yeah, she does. She's just getting to the size where her movements could be felt from outside, but, right now, I'm the only one who can feel them, much to your dad's distaste. He says she's already against him. I keep telling him any day now, but he's too impatient."

"If she's gonna be against anyone it's going to be me. I didn't even want her."

"Tessa Adrianne, your baby sister will not hate you; she will love you because you love her. You love her now, and that's all that matters. The only reason you were reluctant about this was because you were scared, and nobody blames you for that, I promise. The baby already loves you and she hasn't even met you yet. You'll always be her big sister and that means she'll always look up to you."

As if to further prove her words, a little foot bumped against Tessa's hand; her baby sister saying hi for the first time. Matching surprised gasps escaped from both of them, and Addison pressed her own hands against her belly, eager to feel another kick. Two more swift thumps against their palms made grins shine on their faces. Tessa looked up at her mother excitedly, and her smile grew when she saw happy tears shining in her eyes.

"Dad!" Her call brought Derek pounding up the stairs, arriving in a panic. His confusion only grew when he saw his wife and daughter pressing their hands on his wife's bulging belly. Assuming the worst, his heart hammered in his chest and he rushed into the room.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain? I'll call 9-1-1." He moved to run back down stairs for his phone but his daughter's voice stopped him.

"Dad no, it's okay. Mom and the baby are fine. The baby's kicking; feel!"

Feeling immensely relieved, the dark haired man came closer and Tessa moved her hand for father to feel his youngest daughter's first movements. An amazed smile spread across his face as little jabs pressed into his hands.

"Oh Addie, this is amazing. I- I can't believe it."

Tears welled up in his eyes at the miracle beneath his fingertips. He hadn't felt such joy and love pulsing through his body since he experienced this with the teenager sitting beside him. He had been extremely relieved when the sonogram revealed another little girl would be owning a piece of his heart. Derek had been anxious to feel his newest baby girl move at all, and spent most of the night with at least one hand cradling his wife's belly. He was slightly disappointed that he wasn't the first to feel her move, but the excitement that Tessa was over weighed it. He hoped more than anything that his girls would be close and Tessa would accept his newest baby girl, and judging by the overjoyed smile twisting her face, his wishes were coming true. The light was finally shining on his family again; after so many dark days, he wondered if the sun would ever return. Now, his family felt happy and whole with his three best girls surrounding him.

The rainbows and sunshine shimmering in his head were shattered by the shrill sound of the phone ringing. Tessa popped up, half out of surprise and half out of instinct.

"I'll get it."

Addison started to protest, wanting her daughter to never leave her side again. "Honey no, just let in ring-"

She was cut off by her teenager shaking her head. "No mom, just enjoy this with dad. You guys need this more than me." An overjoyed smile still sat on her face as she all but skipped down the stairs to the phone. She answered it with a dreamy greeting.

"Hello?"

"Tessa Shepherd?" the unfamiliar formality of the woman's voice sent her jarring into the present.

"Yes?"

"This is Jane Carmichael, the ADA prosecuting your case. I have some news about your trial and testimony."

Tendrils of ice crawled down her spine at the mention of her court appearance. "W-what about it?"

"Well, for one, a date has been set. It will start December 30th. I wanted to have before the holidays, but it would be hard to get a willing jury then. I know that's still a ways off, but we need to start prepping for your testimony. I must warn you; testifying is not easy. I will help you as much as I can and you'll have the support of your friends, family, and most of the Seattle PD. You won't be alone in this. I'll contact you again soon to start setting up some prep time."

Tessa nodded, and then remembered the attorney couldn't see her. "Okay. Is there anything else I need to do before then?"

"No, not really. I'll take care of the dirty work. Have a nice afternoon, Tessa."

A few heart beats passed before Tessa remembered to speak again. "You too."

In a haze, the green eyed girl hung up the phone and walked to the window. The rain had slowed down considerably; only a light drizzled tickled the streets. Thoughts began to overwhelm her already tired brain. She was going to see Robert, and not just once in an interrogation room. He would be sitting across from her or near her for weeks, probably even months. She would have to recount her horrific four months in that cabin over and over again to strangers, a judge; even her own parents would finally know every little mind numbing detail. And the only person who would even begin to understand what she'd been through was dead. She very rarely allowed herself to think of Violet (to her, she'd always be Violet) simply because it would lead to a very dark and twisty tunnel of depression. But, she couldn't help the slimy green monster of jealously slithering through her mind. Violet didn't have to go through a damn trial. Albeit it was because she was six feet under, but Tessa knew that in a few weeks she would be shamefully wishing they had switched places.

His face, laughing and cruel, popped into her brain and no matter how many times she rubbed and squeezed her eyes, they wouldn't go away. What if he won? What if he somehow talked his way out of trouble? If he was released, what would stop him from coming after her again?

Inklings of fear wormed into her heart and breathing became difficult. Her narrow fingers wormed their way through her long tendrils of hair, attempting to tug the terrifying thoughts out of her. On shaky legs, Tessa walked back to the foyer, grasping onto the banister when she got close enough. The air around her was becoming too thick to breathe. Her eyes searched wildly for a solution, and one seemed to glow as her orbs locked onto the front door. Without a second thought of her joyous parents upstairs, Tessa burst through the open door to the sidewalk below. Shivers ran through her as the tiny droplets of rain covered her body and her feet, only protected by socks, grew soaked. Blindly, she ran. She ran between people and the umbrellas they carried, not slowing down for a second until she reached the building that contained the rest of her family. Still gasping for air, Tessa slid into the lobby of Grey Sloan Memorial, startling receptionists. She ignored the startled women and ran up the staircase, searching for a familiar face. Blurs in scrubs barely registered on her radar as she slipped and slid across the hospital's surgical floor. Finally, a blonde head of hair popped into the teen's vision, floating above a concerned face. Two arms reached out to steady her, and finally her feet stilled. Meredith Grey peered at her, worry shining in her eyes.

"Tessa? What's wrong? Do I need to get Amelia?"

Trembling, Tessa shook her head. Without warning, Tessa threw herself into the woman's arms, burying her soaked face into Meredith's lab coat.

"Sweetie, I can't help you unless you tell me what's wrong. I'm gonna take you to an on-call room for some quiet."

Against her, the girl nodded but kept her face hidden. She felt Meredith's arms switch her from holding her against her front to tucking her into her side, keeping one arm wrapped around her shaking shoulders. Voices asking if everything was all right and Meredith's reassurances that it was echoed in her ears until she heard the sound of a door open. She was gently ushered into a dark room and she flinched when the light was flicked on. Meredith pulled her onto a bed, but didn't release her hands.

"Okay, I need you to tell me what's going on right now, or I'm calling your parents. I'm assuming they don't know you're here?"

Numbly, Tessa shook her head. "No, they don't."

The surgeon nodded like she knew the answer. "So can you tell me why you came sprinting in here looking like a monster was hot on your heels?"

A bark of laughter escaped the teen, and she shook her head. "That's kind of what was happening. I got a phone call from the attorney who's prosecuting my case."

Meredith still looked lost. "I don't see why that would send you into a panic."

"She told me that a start date for my trial had been set. December 30th, by the way. I assume you're still confused, so let me explain. It just sort of hit me that this was real. I am going to testify that for four months, I was held against my will, raped, and beaten to the entire world. And even after I broadcast my story, the monster that did all of that to me might still get off. It doesn't help that he'll be sitting ten feet away during all of that."

Brows furrowed, Meredith studied her closely. "Okay, I can see why you freaked out. All of this just hit you?"

"Well, yeah. I mean I knew it was coming, but I tried not to think about it because I knew this would happen. Plus, I felt the baby move for the first time, so I was already emotional."

"Do your parents know that the attorney called?"

Tessa shook her head, blushing. "No, I freaked out before I told them. They're probably out of their minds with worry," she groaned and dropped her face in her hands. "I'm gonna be in so much trouble."

The blonde woman smiled and shrugged. "Probably. Scaring pregnant women has severe consequences. But, I think you have a very fair defense, so maybe they'll go easy on you. C'mon, let's call your dad to come get you."

The teen nodded and accepted the hand that was held out to her. The pair made their way back out into the hustle and bustle of the hospital, walking towards the phone sitting on the counter. Tessa reached for it and dialed her father's number, expecting him to pick up on the first ring. When she heard his voicemail play in her ear, she frowned. Meredith, who had been watching, frowned as well.

"What? What is it?"

Tessa dialed again, but turned to answer her questions. "My dad didn't answer, which is odd if they've noticed me being gone." She went back to focusing on the ringing, and didn't even notice when an intern approached the intimidating attending.

"What is it, Dr. Connors ?"

The young woman met her patient gaze with wide eyes. "I was told by Dr. Torres that the Shepherds' daughter was with you. I have a message for her."

Tessa, who had been sent to voicemail again, turned at the sound of her name worriedly. "What is it?"

The young doctor looked relieved to have found her. "Your mother is being brought to the ER."


	23. Cali

**I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Mine was okay, but the best part was getting to see Mockingjay Part 2 which everyone must see! So, school is out in two weeks which is, theoretically, great. Except for the small fact that i have seven semester exams to battle before i'm released, so it might be a while before you guys hear from me again. I hope everyone enjoys the chapter (i did!) and i just want to say thank you for all the love for the modified Shepherd family (Tessa specifically). Reviews would be an excellent early Christmas present:)**

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"What?" The fear in her voice was painfully obvious, and before anyone could say anything else, Tessa ran down the hall towards the ER. Dr. Connors and Meredith followed suit, each sporting faces of worry. Meredith caught up to her and rubbed her shoulder as best she could as they jogged and dodged through the busy halls. "I'm sure everything is fine."

"If everything was fine my mother would not be in the emergency room. How do you know that my mother is here?"

The harsh question was spat out at the intern struggling to keep up with their fast pace. "I was with Dr. Anderson when she was paged to the ER and she asked me to follow her. The ambulance had just arrived and they were unloading the patient. Dr. Anderson must've of recognized your parents because she ordered me to clear a trauma room for them. Your father was shouting that someone needed to find and inform his daughter, and Dr. Torres said she'd seen you with Dr. Grey. I was told to find you."

Dr. Connor spoke rapidly, and Tessa had trouble keeping up through her fog of panic. "Take me to her, now," The frazzled teen turned back towards the woman who had successfully calmed her down after her freak out. "I hate to ask you this, but will you find Amelia? She needs to know and I need to be with my mother."

The blonde woman nodded with a reassuring smile and hurried off, leaving the two young women alone. The frightened looking intern just stared at her blankly. Tessa was fully aware that it was only the girl's first week as a doctor, so she tried to keep her patience.

"My mother?" she prompted gently. With a sharp nod, Dr. Connors led her way unsurely through the hospital. For once, Tessa wished that this state of the art hospital wasn't so damn big. Finally, they reached the emergency room. Her heart beat erratically in her chest as she searched for her family. Through partially closed blinds, the brunette made out her father's wavy hair and tall frame standing in front of a bed. Quickly, she snaked around her guide and all but sprinted into the trauma room. Her heart plummeted through her soaked socks and onto the tile floor below at the sight of beloved mother lying on the gurney, unconscious and an oxygen mask covering the lower part of her face. A horrified gasp escaped her, and her father turned around with a flash.

"Where the hell have you been?!"

Tessa flinched at the anger and fear laced in his voice. She'd have to pay for her little escapade later.

"I'll explain later. What happened? What's wrong?" With hesitation, Tessa stepped closer and grabbed her mother's cold, still hand. A gash that had already been tended to disappeared into the hairline of her disheveled red locks. Her gaze didn't waver from the too pale skin of her face. Derek still hadn't answered her.

"Dad, what the hell happened?" He only shook his head. "You don't know?"

Finally, he looked at her. Anger burned in his eyes, and Tessa knew that while most of it was directed at her, it also was because he felt incredibly helpless. "No, I don't know. Dr. Anderson took some blood to run. The only thing I _do_ know is that after your mother went downstairs to see what was taking you so long, she saw the front door wide open and screamed your name like she was being murdered. By the time I got downstairs, she was face down on the floor. You wanna tell me what you know?"

Tessa bit her lip before speaking. _She_ had caused this. She was the reason that her mother was in the hospital. "The phone call was for me. It was the ADA prosecuting my case. She told me a trial date had been set. I freaked."

Derek shook his head. "You freaked and you ran and you probably gave your mother a heart attack." He hadn't meant for it for it to sound so accusatory, but from the tears that popped into his daughter's eyes told him that was exactly how it came out.

"I didn't do it on purpose okay? I'm not really in the right mind set in the midst of a panic attack. Of course I didn't want this to happen. This is exactly what I'm so damn afraid of-"

She cut herself off before anymore could erupt out of her. Luckily, any questions about her words were forgotten by her father as Dr. Anderson came in. Tessa pounced on her.

"Is she okay? What happened?"

The polished woman held up a hand to let her speak. "Your mother suffered from a severe drop in her blood sugar levels. It seems like Addison is suffering from gestational diabetes. It isn't uncommon, but it can be dangerous, so it's actually a good thing we caught it. From now on, she'll need to take leave from work and live as stress-free as possible until she goes into labor. She also hit her head when she fainted, but there was no sign of any severe damage. We'll take her up for a CT just to make sure, but I'm confident she'll be just fine as soon as she wakes up."

She smiled at the relief easy to see on her patient's daughter's face. "Your mom's going to be just fine, and so is your baby sister. I've already checked her out. There was no placental abruption, no tearing, and she was even moving around just fine."

She turned towards Derek now, addressing him only. "Your wife needs to be taken up to CT now and I assume you want to go with her. I'm afraid I can't allow Tessa to come, but I have a feeling I won't be able to stop you."

Just as she finished speaking, Wilson and Edwards came in quietly and lifted the bars on either side of Addison. They began to move her slowly out of the room, each flashing the teenager a sympathetic smile. Derek didn't even turn to look at her as he followed his wife's unconscious form. Tessa waited a few moments before wandering out herself. Everyone she would normally go to for comfort was busy with a patient, including her Uncle Richard. She knew she wouldn't be allowed into the same room as her father, and she didn't even want to be there with him anyway. Though she was more than relieved that her mom was okay, she couldn't help but feel responsible for her being here in the first place. She shouldn't have run. She should have known how badly that would scare her parents. God, sometimes she was so stupid.

Her feet carried through the hospital, past blurs of faces and blood. She lost herself in her thoughts and the sterile air until she realized she was on the roof. The cold air shocked her for a moment, and she considered going back inside, but something caught her eye. The Seattle skyline stared back at her, and she felt her wounded heart heal a bit at the sight of it. She loved this city, more than words could say. It was her home. New York was where she was born and grew up, but Seattle created the person sitting on top of the hospital. She'd spent countless afternoons discovering hole in the wall coffee shops and hidden book stores with her friends in the spunky, rainy town that never failed to surprise her somehow. Deep breaths filtered cleansing thoughts into her body and she felt the terror that had been holding onto her soul release its painful grasp. Absentmindedly, her fingers traced over her right wrist, right over the faded word written in sharpie Evie had spent the last ten minutes of 8th period scribbling. They had just started going over Rome in World History and an interest in Latin had sparked in the two friends. Tessa had looked up the Latin word for breathe and immediately fallen in love with it. _Spira_. It was perfect, and seemed to hit Tessa dead on. Not only did it resemble inspiration, something you could never get enough of, the literal meaning of breathe seemed to be directed right at her. So, she'd enlisted her artistic friend to give her an impromptu tattoo. Addison had frowned when she'd spotted it on her daughter's wrist last night at dinner, but she didn't say anything else about it.

She knew that tattoos weren't her parents' favorite thing, but they didn't condone people who had them. Ever since she'd returned, she felt like she needed a permanent, physical reminder that she had survived. Two years before she could legally get one, and Tessa had found her perfect reminder. The only person she had told about her desire was her aunt, who had fully supported her. Amelia had even offered to be the one to take her to get it. A somewhat relaxed sigh escaped her. Her mind had cooled off, and just in that moment, she felt at peace. That is until a voice sounded from behind her.

"Do you really not have shoes on?" Tessa whipped around at the sound of Amelia's smirking voice.

"No, I didn't think to grab them on my way out. How did you know I was up here?"

The petite woman scoffed and came to stand next to her niece. "I dare you to find someone who knows you better than I do. Meredith filled me in on everything, by the way. Kinda funny that you get along so well with the woman that could've destroyed your family, but I'm friends with her too so I can't really judge. On my way up here, I stopped by CT and your mom is fine. She's awake actually. Imagine that you were the first thing she asked about when she came to."

Tessa winced. "She's awake?"

"She is. They're keeping her overnight, just in case. She really wanted you to come see her, but I said you just needed some time. Truth be told I didn't know where you were yet and I didn't want to make an already fragile situation crack."

Tessa nodded and leaned her head against her aunt's shoulder. "I made a mess."

Amelia smiled and hugged her close. "That's another thing you and I have in common; we're awesome at making messes. We're also really good at cleaning them up, so I'm not too worried."

"Mom could've really hurt herself and I would have been all my fault."

Amelia reached up and pulled her dark hair out of the bun she'd had it tucked in for surgery, considering what to say next.

"Yeah, she could've. Or, she could've collapsed when nobody was home and slipped into a coma. I know you feel insanely guilty, but please don't. She's not going to be mad at you at all, and my idiot brother isn't mad at you either despite what he spouts off."

Tessa winced again. "He's mad?"

Her aunt shook her head. "Not at you. I mean, he's mad but he can't really take it out on your mildly concussed mother, so you got the hit. He's just mad that he couldn't help both of you. It'll blow over."

The teen turned her head and nuzzled her face into her aunt's dark hair, breathing in the scent of scrub soap and surgery, eternally clinging to members of her family. It was a scent she'd grown up around and would always bring her comfort.

"How do you always know the right thing to say to me?"

Above her, Amelia smiled. "Like I said, nobody knows you better. Listen, as much as I'd like to freeze my butt off with you a little bit longer, I'm afraid if I don't bring you down to your mother's room she'll come looking for you herself."

Tessa laughed halfheartedly and allowed her favorite person drag her back down into the hospital. Addison was in the maternity ward, already set up in a room designed for calming. Derek sat by her side, gently holding her hand. Her green eyes flashed in relief when she saw her daughter standing in the doorway. Tessa flinched internally at the smile on her mother's face and her still sickly pallor.

"Tessa, you're okay." The injured woman sounded like she didn't quite believe her eyes.

"I'm fine, mom. How are you?" Tessa came farther into the room cautiously, stopping just out of reach of her mother. Of course she noticed; frowning softly but moving on.

"I'm fine sweetie. Really, I am. Honestly it's a good thing it happened when it did. It could've been a lot worse if I was farther along or alone. They're just keeping me to monitor my levels. They're fairly certain I can take care of myself when they release me."

Tessa nodded unsurely, biting her lip. "And your head?"

Again, a reassuring smile. "No damage. Nothing but the cut on my forehead, and I'm not even sure how that happened. I don't remember much."

The shy teenager stepped closer, gingerly took a seat on the edge of the bed. "What do you remember?"

Addison furrowed her brow as she tried to recollect. "I… I walked downstairs because you hadn't come back up yet and I wondered who was on the phone, but when I got down the stairs, I saw that the door was open. I guess I panicked and thought you'd been taken-again. I remember screaming for you and then it all went dark. What happened?"

Tessa glanced at her father, who happened to be looking everywhere but her, and began to explain what lead to her being in the hospital.

"It was ADA Carmichael. She called to inform us that a trial date has been set. December 30th," She paused, reading her mother's reaction. By the way her eyes widened and her hand flew to cover Tessa's, she knew exactly what happened. "I guess I freaked out a bit when I realized what exactly the trial entailed. I didn't mean to run out, but…"

She trailed off, and her eyes dropped to her damp feet. She just realized how cold they were, and wished she had stopped to slip on shoes. She tensed when she felt cold fingers slip under her chin and lift her face. She met the identical green eyes of her mother.

"Baby, I'm not mad at you. This is in no way your fault, despite what must be rattling around in that pretty little head of yours. I wish you would've come upstairs and talked to us. I know it's not easy to let us in, but you have to."

Tessa felt her chin wobble and she darted her eyes away before tears could fall down her cheeks. "I'll have to let everyone in soon. The whole world will know _everything_. I don't know if I can do it, but I know I have to."

Addison ran her hand over her daughter's slightly damp hair. "You can do it. I know you can do it."

"And I'll have to see… him."

A look of anger flashed over the woman's face, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. "He won't hurt you ever again. I promise." Addison scooted back, making more room in the bed, and Tessa took the hint. She crawled in carefully next to her mother and snuggled in close, her fingers tangling into her hospital gown. Through the smell of the hospital, the teen could still get a whiff of her perfume, and she focused on that to calm herself again. Addison breathed in deeply, relishing the feel of her baby in her arms again. One thing she couldn't forget from this afternoon was the sickening feeling that her daughter was once again missing. The open door burned in her mind and she remembered the instinctive urge to run after whoever had her daughter. She could remember the rush of adrenaline in her veins and the mental preparedness to fight to the death for her child. And then it all went black. It didn't matter now; Tessa was in her arms, safe, sound, and… shivering.

"Tessa Shepherd, where are your shoes?"

Tessa attempted to tuck her dirty, once cute fuzzy socks out of sight and glanced up at her mother bashfully.

"I forgot them." At her admission, Addison's sharp gaze flashed to her husband. "You let my child run around in this nasty weather with only _socks_ on?"

Derek crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "I'm sorry, I was a little distracted by getting you to the hospital after you passed out in our foyer to grab a pair of slippers for our runaway child."

Addison held Tessa closer. "She's freezing, Derek. Would please go get her some clean socks? I'm sure I have some in my office."

Derek eyed his wife carefully, but got up with a promise to be back soon. Mother and daughter were finally left alone.

"He's really mad at me."

"I noticed."

Tessa looked down at her temporary tattoo and took a deep breath. "He should be. You could've really gotten hurt. Or the baby."

"But we are both fine. It is not your fault that you freaked out or that I freaked out. Everything is just fine."

A sniffle echoed in the room and Tessa turned her head into her mother's chest so stifle it. "Oh, sweetheart."

"Mom, what if, after the trial, he somehow gets off? What's gonna stop him from coming after me again?"

A few heart beats passed before the red head answered. "Well first of all, he would have to go through me and your father to even get near you and that won't happen. And second, there is a very small- almost improbable chance that he will away with anything that he did. There's too much evidence against him to allow him to just walk away. He will never touch you again, I swear on my life."

Tessa looked up her mother with a sly smile. "How much damage do you think you could do to a full grown man when you're five months pregnant?"

Addison frowned in mock offense. "Hey, for you I could take down the world."

The two giggled softly until Derek came striding back in a moment later. He tossed a pair of clean socks and a smile at his two girls sitting on the bed.

"New socks for Princess Tessa. Hope they're to your liking, your royal highness." Tessa blushed as she yanked off her socks. Addison ran a hand down her back comfortingly.

"Don't tease her, Der. We've all had a rough day, and she's only running on a few hours' sleep."

Derek nodded with a smile. "Okay. Speaking of sleep, you need some. I'll take Tessa home and then come back up here. I don't want to leave you alone."

His wife shook her head. "No, that's not necessary. You guys can both go home. I'll be fine." Though if she was going to be honest, she'd rather not have Tessa leave. The only way she felt secure in her baby's safety was if Tessa was in her line of sight. But, their teenager seemed to disagree too. Her thin arms tightened slightly over the bump that was the youngest Shepherd.

"No. I don't want to leave you, Mom. I won't leave."

Addison met her husband's blue eyes over her daughter and shrugged her shoulders. She wasn't going to argue. If Tessa wanted to stay glued to her side, then so be it.

"Okay, we're all staying here. I'm sure a little shut eye will make everything better, but there is no way I'll be able to sleep on in one of these chairs. I'm gonna go get a cot. You want one too, Tessa?"

Tessa opened her mouth to reply, but her mother beat her to it. "No, she's fine up here with me." The neurosurgeon shrugged his shoulders before disappearing out into the hall again. A yawn escaped Addison and Tessa smiled gently.

"Get some rest mom. I won't disappear if you go to sleep."

"Hmm. You might; you have a tendency of taking off."

Against her, Tessa tensed and the red head immediately felt guilty. "I'm sorry. You're right though; I am exhausted."

The teen sat up and adjusted the blankets covering her mother, making sure she was warm. Worry still pulsed through her at the sight of the exhaustion weighing down her mother's eyes. Gently, Tessa began to run her fingers through the bright red hair falling past pale shoulders. A smile began to grow on her face as Addison's features relaxed and she slipped into slumber. Her father came in, toting in a makeshift bed. Tessa pressed a finger against her lips in a warning to be quiet. He nodded in understanding before setting the cot down softly. He stood back up and motioned for the teen to follow him back out of the room. Tessa pursed her lips together and shook her head almost imperceptibly, glancing back down at her mother. What if she woke up while they were gone and hurt herself again? Derek motioned again with a frown of impatience, and Tessa got up reluctantly. Quietly, she got up from the bed and hurried to catch up with her brooding father. He was leaning along the wall, clearly waiting for her.

"We need to talk."

Tessa settled next to him and nodded. "Yeah."

A sigh escaped him and Derek began to twist his wedding ring. "Look, I know I said some things that were probably totally out of line this afternoon and I'm sorry, but this is partly your fault."

Tessa raised her eyebrow at his words. Of course she knew this, but she couldn't help but feel a bit insulted at his "apology."

Anger flared in her chest and she tried quickly to quench it. "I suppose I do. I'm sorry I had an uncontrollable panic attack and acted on my feelings of fear impulsively and unknowingly caused my mother to collapse from a previously unknown ailment that would have possibly killed her. I take full responsibility, Dad."

"That is not what I meant, Tessa. But, you know that you had some control on the outcomes of this afternoon."

Tessa scoffed loudly. "I don't know if you've ever experienced a full blown panic attack, but you really don't have any control over what happens during them. I felt like the walls were closing in around me. I felt like if I didn't find some way to escape I would explode. I don't really know to explain to you how little power I have in these situations. I have been working with Dr. Taylor on them, but they're getting worse. She's suggesting I be put on anxiety medication. I can't even begin to stress how sorry I am that mom got hurt; this is not something I will easily forget. I wish I knew how to stop them, but I don't. Cut me some slack and accept my sincerest apology that I've hurt this family once again."

With that, Tessa turned on her heel and began to march back to her mother's hospital room. She almost was back in when a firm hand latched on to her elbow. Tessa turned around forcefully and was met with her father's stormy gaze.

"We are not done here, Tessa Adrianne." He began to drag her back to their previous rendezvous point, but Tessa yanked her arm out of his grip.

"I have nothing left to say, and I really don't want to listen to you."

"That's too damn bad, because you have to. I-" He paused, as if he just realized what she said. "They're getting worse?"

"Haven't you noticed an increase in them? Yeah, they're getting worse."

Derek shook his head to clear his thoughts and he began to lecture again. "I just- look, you haven't hurt our family again. We're all fine, and I know that. It's just that when I came down stairs, I saw everything just melting apart. Your mom was on the floor and you were nowhere to be seen. After four months without you, it was a terrifying scene, okay? I'm still shaken up and I noticed that you'd been avoiding me. Tessa, I am truly sorry for everything I said. I didn't mean to make this worse. I love you more than words can express. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to any of you, the new baby included."

His head dropped down and he closed his eyes. They popped open when he felt a light touch on his arm. Tessa was watching him with tears in her eyes. Without a second thought, Derek pulled her into his arms. His daughter nuzzled her head against his chest and he felt her warm tears soak through his sweater.

"Dad, this is all too much."

He didn't have to ask what she meant by that. Derek knew that he and his daughter didn't have the closest relationship, but they were close enough for him to know she meant her life. That admission made his heart crumble slowly. Tessa was incredibly strong; that was something she'd inherited from her mother, but there was no doubt that her life was extra complicated. A new sibling after sixteen years of being the only apple of her parents' eyes, panic attacks from being abducted, and on top of that an impending trial. That was a lot for even the strongest person. Every part of him wished that the only worries that ever graced his daughter's mind were typical teenage girl problems. Actually he wished she never had to worry about anything, but this wasn't a perfect world. As her father, his sole job in life was to protect her from harm and he had failed lately. From this point on, ensuring the well being of his wife and daughters- the oldest in particular- would always come first, no matter what. He'd heard the speech his wife had made to Tessa earlier; he'd listened as she confessed her fears. There was too much weighing on her thin shoulders; too much for anyone, let alone his teenager. As he held her as she wept against him, he relived the terror from this afternoon. He could still hear the primal scream of Addison as she discovered that Tessa was missing and he could still feel the panic coursing through him at the sight of his beloved wife lying unconscious at the foot of the stairs, pale hands reaching towards the door. Derek had screamed his daughter's name again, praying she was close. When she didn't appear before his frantic eyes, dread became a large chunk of stone in his stomach. He honestly couldn't remember calling 911, but he obviously had, because paramedics and a gurney appeared before him in the open doorway as he cradled his wife's head in his lap, hands pressed against her belly. This had been one hell of an afternoon, and he was more than ready for it to be over. Not just for him, but mostly for the darling girl in his arms.

Sighing, Derek pressed a kiss to the crown of her head and pulled back to look her in the eye. "I know, sweetheart. You've been through too much, and I shouldn't have added to it by implying that your mom collapsing was your fault. Which it's not by any means," He paused, hunting for a sign that she'd believed him. Tessa's face remained unreadable. "Tessa, you know I love you more than anything in this world, right?"

Slowly, the teen nodded. She'd heard him say that for as long as she could remember, but inklings of doubt had snuck their way in her head recently. Doubts that she could ever be loved, even though she was drowning in it.

"Dad? Do you think we could take a vacation after mom gets released? Before the baby's born?"

The neurosurgeon smiled at the hope shining in his daughter's eyes. "I think that can be arranged, kiddo. C'mon, let's get back before your mom wakes up."

Tessa nodded and shuffled back towards her mother's room. Fortunately, Addison was still sound asleep, and only woke up slightly when Tessa climbed back into the bed.

"Tessa?" The red head opened her eyes groggily and wrapped her arms around her daughter as she settled. Addison sighed sleepily and murmured, "I love you, baby," before falling asleep once more.

"I just went to the restroom. Go back to sleep; everything's fine."

Addison sighed sleepily and murmured, "I love you, baby," before falling asleep once more.

Tessa listened to her own advice and drifted off into a peacefully dreamless sleep; lulled by the reassuring sound of her mother's strong heartbeat, unknowingly guarded by her doting parents until morning light.

"Okay, Dr. Shepherd; here's what you're going to do for the remainder of your pregnancy. Daily blood sugar monitoring, which I recommend you checking after you wake up in the morning. You already have a fairly healthy diet, but I recommend less takeout. Also, at least 3o minutes a day of light to moderate exercise, which you'll have plenty of time to do because I'm putting you on maternity leave."

Her strict instructions made Addison sit up in bed sharply. "What? I wasn't supposed to go on leave until I actually gave birth!"

Tessa rolled her eyes. "That wasn't going to happen anyways, Mom. Dad and I wouldn't have let that happen. Your job is almost too much even when you're not nine months pregnant. Besides, four months early is not that bad. Think of all the time you'll have to decorate the nursery and come up with the perfect name."

Still pouting, the expectant mother leaned back against her pillows. "I guess. The no take out won't be that bad either. With all that time I could find tons of new recipes," An excited smile on her face made her husband and child groan internally at the thought of being culinary guinea pigs for the next few months.

Dr. Anderson, who had been standing at the foot of the bed, chuckled softly. "That sounds like a good plan. I'll get your discharge papers and some more information on gestational diabetes for reading."

Addison shook her head. "That won't be necessary. I have plenty of my own information."

Tessa snorted. "I'll take it then. I know I won't get all the information from you and your protective nature." She stood up and followed the doctor out, eager to ask her own questions. Derek rubbed his wife's hand gently, avoiding the spot where her IV had been placed and already removed.

"So, Tessa asked me last night if we could go on a vacation before the baby's born. She goes on break in two weeks…"

Addison smiled as her husband trailed off. "That actually sounds like a great idea. We haven't been on a vacation in ages. Have anywhere in mind?"

"I figured that was something we could discuss together, but I'm sure we'll end up going wherever our child suggests, seeing as we're both wrapped around her little finger."

Nodding, the red head looked down at her bump of a belly. Her fingers traced over it idly, and her husband could tell something was weighing heavily on her mind.

"What are you thinking?"

Addison shook her head and her bottom lip quivered. "It's just… I could have hurt her. I've been feeling tired and off for weeks, but I just contributed it to being pregnant. I didn't think there was something seriously wrong. I should've recognized the signs as a doctor and as a mother. I never felt this way with Tessa, but then again I was much younger when I was pregnant with her."

Derek nodded solemnly. "I know. I feared the worst when I saw you yesterday. I know that if something was wrong with either of you, seriously, that you would want me to save the baby, but I told them to do whatever they had to save you."

She nodded and huffed as tear drops rolled down her cheeks. Quickly, Derek reached up to wipe them away. She gave him a watery smile and sniffled. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying. It's just an emotional overload. I'm fine. It's all good, and everyone's fine," She said most of the reassuring words under her breath as if she was mostly trying to convince herself.

"I think a vacation would be a very, very good idea. We'll have to be back before the 30th, but Tessa gets out on the 18th. That's plenty of time to do something fun. It'll take our mind off everything that's happened and everything that's coming up. Plus, it'll give us some good quality time with our girl before she's not our only one anymore."

Addison opened her mouth to reply when Tessa waltzed back in, a stack of papers in her hand and the OB on her heels.

"Here are you discharge papers and your daughter has plenty of reading material for herself. You two have quite the bright and inquisitive child," She turned towards the beaming Tessa, question on her lips. "Have any inclination of what you want to be when you grow up?"

Tessa nodded shyly. "I want to be an FBI agent, specializing in criminal behavior, but I'd like to have my medical degree as well, so I haven't quite decided what to do."

Dr. Anderson raised her eyebrows, impressed with her answer. "That's a difficult thing to be, but I have no doubt that you could do it."

Tessa ducked her head, embarrassed. She muttered, "Thank you," before handing her mother the bag Amelia had brought up with a change of clothes for all of them so she could change before they left.

Going back home felt like a breath of fresh air to the entire Shepherd family. Tessa gently urged her mother upstairs to her bedroom, promising to be her slave for the day to let her rest. Addison complied, still feeling weak. She let her daughter make the bed for her and run back downstairs to bring her some soup. After she was assured that she didn't need anything else, Tessa settled in with her mother with her laptop propped up on her thighs. Derek came in shortly and spread out on the foot of the bed, watching TV and throwing in comments as his girls tossed ideas back and forth.

"Okay, so Europe is out for sure?" Tessa looked between her parents, silently hopeful that London was still on the table.

"I'm afraid so. I'm sorry sweetheart, but a European vacation is a lot of work and not really relaxing. I'm afraid you'll have to look more local."

The teen nodded, frowning softly. "Okay… so where do you suggest?"

"Somewhere warm and dry."

Derek smiled cheekily from his spot. "Las Vegas?"

"And just what would our underage child do while we were Las Vegas? There isn't much for her there."

Derek sat up, looking excited. "Sure there is. There's tons of stuff for Tessa to do," he turned to his daughter, waiting for her input.

"I guess. It's not my first choice but if you guys want to go…"

Addison shook her head. "No Las Vegas. Sorry honey, but the idea just doesn't appeal to me."

Tessa suddenly sat up, looking as if a light bulb went off. "How about California? We could go to LA and see Sam and Naomi. And I've always wanted to see San Francisco."

Her mother quirked a brow. "That's actually a great idea. It's not that far and we could see some old friends. California has my vote."

Two pairs of bright green orbs locked onto Derek, eager to hear his opinion. The neurosurgeon smiled at the excitement on his wife and daughter's faces. He couldn't really say no when they looked at him like that, and it really was a great idea.

"Okay, California it is."

Tessa let out a whoop and hopped of the bed. "California, here I come!"


	24. Jingle All the Way to LA

**Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays to those of you who don't celebrate. i hope everyone enjoys the holidays and this chapter! leave a review if you fancy!**

* * *

"Mom, you have packed _everything_ that you can possibly can. I honestly don't know how much more you can take."

Addison shot her smirking daughter a glare as she checked her packing list once more. "Look, I know that all of this seems a bit much for week long vacation, but it's all things we need. Plus, imagine how it would feel to get there and realize we forgot something. At least this way we'll be completely prepared."

"Yeah, for the apocalypse."

"Are you ready to go, smart ass?"

Tessa smiled cheekily at her exasperated mother and shrieked as she dodged the swat that was aimed at her butt. From the doorway, she poked her head back into the master bedroom, eyes shining with happiness.

"By the way, my bags are waiting by the door and so are dad's. We're basically waiting for you, but no pressure," Tessa danced away again, leaving her mother standing in the middle of two open suitcases-hers only. Her eyes roamed the list in her hands and then over the bags opened on her bed. Finally satisfied that she had everything was there, Addison zipped up the bags and called her husband up from downstairs. Derek arrived with the same smirk that their teenager had been wearing a few minutes ago.

"Everything ready to go, Ad? We really need to get going," Even though he was internally annoyed and amused that it took his wife so long, he tried to not let it show. The last thing any of them needed was the hormonal pregnant woman breaking down. The beautiful red head nodded distractedly and grabbed the smallest bag that contained their toiletries.

"Yeah, I think so. Could you grab those two bags and carry them down for me?"

Derek bent down and grabbed the luggage, and gently ushered his wife down the stairs as she double checked that the house was in order. They discovered their daughter sprawled across the couch, book in her hands. Tessa glanced up at them, a smile curving on her face.

"You guys ready to go?"

Addison ignored the sarcasm hiding behind her innocent smile and nodded. "Yes, we are. Now help your dad load up the car and we'll head to the airport."

Tessa swung her legs off the couch and stretched as she stood. "Okay. I am so excited!" With a small squeal, Tessa picked up two bags and skipped out the door, leaving her parents to follow behind her with fond smiles. Addison turned towards her husband, designer luggage in hand.

"How'd we get so lucky to have a teenager that's still excited to go on family vacations?"

Derek shook his head as Tessa bounced on her toes by the car. "I don't know, but I'm certainly taking advantage of it."

Much to Tessa's relief, the car was finally loaded and they were on their way to the airport. She sat in the backseat, smiling as she looked out the window as her city passed by. She shivered as she remembered the biting wind that blew just outside the car, but warmed up immediately at the thought of warm, sandy beaches and the fun that would be filling up this week. The teenager picked a piece of lint off her skinny jeans and sighed. Amelia should have been sitting next to her; she should be there to go on adventures with and stay up way too late every night in the hotel. Unfortunately, it was decided that the hospital couldn't function without a miraculously gifted Shepherd there, so Amelia had stayed. It didn't damper Tessa's mood for that long though. She'd been on cloud 9 ever since she'd been released from school on Friday, three days prior. Every single semester exam she'd spent hours studying for and agonizing over went into the grade book with nothing less than a 95 on it. She'd aced them all. What a perfect way to end the semester. The ride to the airport passed quickly, and it wasn't long until they were standing in line for security. Tessa stood closely to her mom, partially out of habit and partially because a mass of people crowded around her. Distractedly, her fingers fumbled around one of the front pockets in her bag. She closed her hand around a small, oval-shaped pill caddy that contained her newly prescribed anxiety medication. The teenager had yet to take it; there hadn't been an incident since it had been picked up from the pharmacy.

Addison looked back at her daughter and frowned slightly when she saw her eyes darting around the airport as if she expected someone to jump out at her. She knew that Tessa wasn't afraid of flying; her daughter actually loved it. Leaning closer, Addison gently rubbed Tessa's shoulder.

"Are you okay, sweetie?"

Almost immediately, her girl smiled reassuringly. "Yeah, just really excited. I'm just ready to get there already."

The red head nodded as if she believed her daughter's answer, but she knew that all of the people surrounding them had her on edge. She was tempted to ask if Tessa wanted to take the medicine, but thought better of it. Tessa would take it if she needed to.

Fortunately, the line began to pick up and the Shepherds moved through security without any trouble. They arrived at their gate with 45 minutes to spare. Tessa pulled out her Kindle, which was filled with previously downloaded books, and began to read. Addison munched on a bagel she'd picked up along the way of little restaurants on the way to the gate while Derek tried to fill out the Sunday cross word puzzle. The seats around them filled up quickly as the minutes passed. Tessa looked up from her book as a thought struck her.

"Mom, are we going to rent a car once we land in L.A. or will Sam and Naomi pick us up?"

Addison glanced up from her medical journal she had brought with her with raised eyebrows. "Oh my god, I completely forgot about that. I guess we'll be renting a car because I didn't ask them," She turned to her husband with a sheepish smile. "Sorry."

Derek just grinned back at her and waved his hand at her apologies. "It's not a problem, Addie. Actually, renting a car will make things easier. Plus, we're already staying at their house; we don't need them to be our chauffeurs too."

Tessa leaned back in her chair and dropped her head on Addison's shoulder, closing her eyes. She tried to picture her parents' former best friends in her mind, but she hadn't seen them in person since she was a toddler. She remembered their daughter, Maya, better. Even though she was a few years older, they were inseparable when they were little. In all honesty, the Shepherds and the Bennetts hadn't been close for years. They exchanged Christmas cards and emails once a year, but that was it. Another, more pressing thought suddenly appeared in the teenager's mind, and she sat up with a start.

"Mom, do you think… do Sam and Naomi know what happened to me?"

Both Addison and Derek sat down their reading material and looked at their daughter. They glanced at each other nervously, neither knowing what to say. Derek spoke first.

"Well, I'm sure they do. Your story of being rescued was all over the news, and it's amazing that we don't have reporters chasing us through the airport. The police have been very good about keeping us protected lately," He hesitated for a moment, and then looked to his wife and frowned. "You know, if they do know, it's kind of rude they didn't call us, isn't it? I mean I know we grew apart, but we would have called."

Tessa rolled her eyes and tried to calm her tightly wound nerves. They knew, and in moments of awkward silence over the next week, questions would fill up the void. Under her breath she muttered, "Perfect."

Addison leaned over and patted her daughter's hand. "I'm sure they won't pry into it, Tess. They'll probably just ask how you're doing, and that'll be the end of it. Don't worry, baby."

Tessa smiled at her mother's reassurances, not quite believing them. But before any more doubt could weigh down her mind, they began calling to board the plane.

L.A. was two and half hours away by flight, and soon they were touching down in the City of Angels. Tessa looked out the small window to her left eagerly, even if the only thing she could see was the runway and shockingly bright blue sky. After so many rainy days in Seattle, she'd almost forgotten all the different colors the sky could be besides grey. She bounced eagerly on her toes as the plane slowly emptied. Derek went first, swinging his carry on backpack over his shoulders as his Prada-loving wife followed, clinging to her designer tote tightly. It didn't take long for them to navigate their way to pick up their luggage, which both father and daughter picked up, forcing Addison to again only carry their toiletries. She protested the whole way to the car rental place.

"Honestly, I'm pregnant, not an invalid! I can carry-or roll- a suitcase, Derek."

The dark haired man just chuckled and shook his head. "I know you can, Ad. It's just my husbandly duty to make sure you're taking it easy."

"Yeah, and for me it's child labor. That's the only reason you guys keep me around right?" Tessa piped up.

Addison reached out and gently poked her daughter. "Not funny, little girl."

Tessa raised her eyebrows in a frightening copy of her mother. "I'm not a little girl."

"You'll always be my little girl."

The teenager just rolled her eyes, typical to her species. Parking two of the suitcases she had been hauling, Tessa hurried to catch up with her father who was already standing in line at the rental place.

"Get a really cool car, Dad. Let's travel L.A. in style."

Derek shook his head and smiled. "I wish we could, but with all of our bags, I'm afraid I'll have to get an eighteen wheeler."

His daughter snorted before glancing back at her mom, making sure she was all right. "I'm really happy we're here, Dad."

"Me too, kiddo. We could definitely use a break."

Again, Tessa glanced back. "You don't think it will be too much for mom, do you?"

Wrapping an arm around his girl's shoulder comfortingly, the neurosurgeon shook his head. "Your mom and I had a talk about that. She knows that if she starts feeling too tired, she's supposed to immediately stop and rest. I thought that getting her to agree to that would be a battle, but she said she was already planning that. I also know that giant purse of hers has the medicine and some snacks for her just in case. This is your vacation too, sweetheart. Don't spend all of it worrying about your mom."

Tessa nodded, but knew she wouldn't actually be able to relax. She did nothing but worry. As they both stepped up to the counter, the woman behind the wooden stand barely glanced up.

"Sunny Skies Rentals, how can I be of service today?"

"Hi, we need to rent a car for a week."

Finally, the bored looking woman dignified them with an annoyed look that said, _why else would you be standing in front of my desk?_

Her disinterested brown eyes landed on Tessa, who was still standing next to her dad. Suddenly, a spark of recognition grew in her eyes. A pit of despair pooled in her stomach as the woman opened her mouth, undoubtedly about to ask Tessa a question.

"Hey, you're the girl that was missing, right? You were gone for like four months or something?"

Somehow, Tessa found a way to answer. "Y-yes, that's me."

A strange expression grew on the woman's face, and she leaned across the counter, and the teenager took a defensive step backwards. Tessa's green eyes found the name tag pinned crookedly to the woman's wrinkled white blouse. Linda apparently was very interested in the girl in front of her. She put her badly manicured hands conspiratorially around her mouth and asked, "Is it true that he kept you in a basement and made you eat scraps you'd stolen?"

Tessa furrowed her brow. "How did you know that?"

Linda shrugged her shoulders. "It was on the TV. They also said you were knocked up but he beat you so badly that you lost it."

A horrified gasp escaped Tessa, and Linda misread it. Mock sympathy washed over her features and her hand flew to her heart.

"Oh, you poor thing-"

Tessa cut her off with a sharp wave of her hand. "That is not in any way true, and only a moron would believe everything they see on the TV. Now, I've had a pretty rough last few months and I would really like to enjoy this vacation with my family. Can we just get our car now?"

Not waiting for an answer, the teen turned on her heel and just about sprinted to the safety of her mother. Addison looked up as her daughter came shuffling over, her face tense.

"What's wrong?"

Tessa shook her head, but sat down closely next to her mom. "The lady at the counter recognized me."

A heavily weighed sigh escaped her. "Oh honey. I'm sorry. I think we all forgot how sheltered we were in Seattle, where you were pretty much used to people looking at you. Now, they're strangers with no problem confronting you. You know you don't have to say anything to them, right? You can just walk away without a word and nobody will mind."

Tessa frowned and twirled the ends of her straightened locks. "Isn't that rude?"

"Isn't walking up to someone and asking deeply personal questions rude?"

Before Tessa could answer again, Derek walked up to them, an overly cheerful smile on his face.

"Okay, girls! We have a lovely Subaru Forrester as our carriage for the week. She also made sure that it had Sirius radio so we have like a million channels to listen to," He tossed a wink at Tessa in attempt to make her smile. "We have you to thank for that."

Two matching pairs of eyebrows rose in surprise. "Even after I basically called her a moron?"

"Even after. So, my walking GPS, where to now?" This question was directed at Addison, who rolled her eyes at the title, and checked her phone.

"I texted Nai and told her we landed. She said that Sam would happy to pick us up, but I told that we had a car. She said to meet them at the practice and gave me directions to get there, so let's go!"

Tessa finally smiled and grabbed the two bags waiting patiently for her and followed her parents to load up the car, all the while wondering how many Lindas the trip would hold.

The practice was on the beach, and Tessa could not get over that. She could literally see the beach from the lobby; she could see the beautiful blue water beckoning to her with friendly waves. Nothing sounded more relaxing than burying her toes in the sand and counting the clouds. Standing in the elevator in front of her were her parents, linked by their hands. Addison ran a nervous hand down the front of her belly; Little Bean must've been kicking. Tessa had come up with the nickname for her unnamed baby sister. Just saying she or her all the time was annoying, and until the three of them could agree on a name, Little Bean fit perfectly. The ding of the elevator made reality snap back into place, and Tessa took a steadying breath to calm the exciting jitters dancing under her skin.

The faux wood doors opened to reveal an office with an open concept with a waiting room on both sides and two hallways jutting out that must've held offices and exam rooms. As her green eyes traveled the room, something felt… off. When a nurse called a patient back, she realized what it was. It didn't feel like a doctor's office. It felt like someone's home, and that was slightly unnerving. Her mom gently grabbed a hold of her elbow, and began to user her forward to the check in desk where a young woman sat typing away on a keyboard.

"Oceanside Wellness, do you have an appointment?"

Addison answered her with a smile. "No, actually we're here to visit with some old friends. Are either of the Dr. Bennetts available?"

The receptionist looked up suspiciously, but shook her head. "Yes, I believe they're both in Naomi's office. I'll take you back."

She led them down one of the hallways, passing glass doors with various names revealing who worked there and what they practiced. Tessa didn't pay attention to any of them; she focused straight ahead, trying not to get too nervous. She'd always been shy, but this whole awkward situation was making it worse. The young woman knocked on the metal door frame twice before sticking her head in and announcing them. Tessa heard an exclamation of surprise and then shuffling as someone hurried to the door. A semi-familiar face poked out, happiness making a smile curve on her cheeks. Naomi.

"Oh my god, you're here! I thought it would take a little while longer. Oh, Addie look at you! You didn't tell me you were expecting! And Derek, you're just as handsome as you were in medical school!" Finally her wide eyes landed on Tessa, and pity flitted in for a second, before glee entered again.

"Tessa! I almost didn't recognize you back there. You've grown up so much! Come over here and give me hug!"

The shy teen did as she requested, squeezing lightly before stepping back. "Hi, Naomi."

The pretty woman frowned, feigning mock hurt. "I haven't seen you in over a decade and all I get is 'hi'? I was expecting a little more excitement from my little Tessa Bug."

Tessa internally winced at the nickname. Naomi and Sam were the only ones to ever call her that. But, she was right. She could do better than that.

"It's really good to see you, Naomi. Feels longer than ten years, huh?"

"Tell me about it. C'mon, I'll take you guys to Sam. He's in the break room with everyone else."

Naomi turned on her heel and began walking quickly to a kitchen where six people stood around an island, only one looking familiar.

"Sam, look who's here!"

Tessa squeezed in past her parents, eager to get introductions over with. Sam looked up from his conversation, a puzzled look on his face. Recognition lit up his eyes and moved quickly to scoop Tessa up in a hug.

"Is this my Tessa Bug? It can't be, this girl's much too grown up."

She smiled warmly as Sam released her. "It's me, Sam. It's good to see you too. I love what you've done with your hair."

Tessa smirked as he reached up to touch his bald head. A snort of laughter burst from the blonde woman standing next to the fridge.

"I like her." Her thick southern drawl made Tessa's eyes widen. The woman moved forward and reached out to shake her hand.

"Charlotte King. Nice to meet you, Tessa Bug."

The brunette shook her hand politely. "It's just Tessa, unless your Sam or Naomi. Tessa Shepherd."

"I figured. Sam here hasn't shut up about you visiting for days. Apparently you were his girlfriend in New York."

Derek laughed from behind his daughter. "I'd forgotten about that. Tess was Sam's girlfriend and Maya was mine. Good times."

Charlotte turned her attention from the teenager to her parents. "Ya'll don't need introductions. I recognize both of ya'll from medical journals. It's an honor to meet both of you, Dr. Shepherds."

Addison smiled at her and moved to wrap Sam in a hug. "It's good to see you too, Sam, not that you even noticed that the two of us were here."

The man chuckled. "Actually, it looks like the three of you. You didn't mention you were having another baby. How far along are you?"

"23 weeks. It's a girl, but she doesn't have a name yet."

Conversation died off awkwardly as glances were shared across the room. Naomi let out a huff.

"Of course, the rest of you don't know each other. Derek, Addie, meet Dr. Sheldon Wallace, Dr. Cooper Freedman, Dr. Charlotte King, Dr. Violet Turner, and Dr. Jake Reilly."

Nobody noticed the teen's sharp intake of breath at the second to last name.

Addison and Derek shook hands with all of them and then turned to their daughter. "This is our daughter, Tessa."

Dr. Turner smiled at the young girl as she stared at her. "I'm sorry, don't think me rude by asking this, but were you kidnapped recently?"

All eyes in the room darted nervously towards Tessa, especially those who knew her best. To their surprise, the girl nodded calmly.

"Yes, I was."

Immediately intrigued, Violet motioned for Tessa to sit at one of the stools that sat under the island.

"Really? And how are you handling that?" At Tessa's confused frown, she quickly added, "I'm a therapist and I've never talked to a victim of abduction before. I just wanted to ask some questions. If you don't mind, of course."

Tessa shot everyone in the room a look, silently signaling that they didn't need an audience. Charlotte caught it first, and smoothly turned to their guests.

"Would ya'll like a tour of the office? Some of our equipment is mighty impressive." As her heels clicked towards the door, everyone followed out behind her, but a certain red head lingered for a moment.

"Remember what I told you, sweetie." And with that she was gone, leaving her daughter alone with a nosy therapist.

"I have a shrink, you know. I don't need one on vacation."

Violet smiled. "I'm sure you have the best therapist money could buy, considering your parents success. I don't want to pry, really. You have to understand how rare it is to have an abduction victim as a patient; I am purely trying to learn from an educational point of view. If you don't feel comfortable you can catch up with Dr. Tour guide out there."

Tessa considered her options carefully. She observed the woman leaning across from her. From her semi tamed curls and warm brown eyes, she screamed therapist. With her billowy shawl and earthy, calming clothes, the teen found herself agreeing. She felt safe.

"Okay. What do you want to know?"

A small burst of excitement shone in the woman's eyes and she began to talk quickly.

"What symptoms of PTSD are you suffering from, if any?"

"Severe anxiety, panic attacks, nightmares, you name it. Though my doctor never labeled it as PTSD; I always assumed it was though. She just hasn't ever labeled me."

Dr. Turner nodded with narrowed eyes. "The panic attacks, how are they triggered?"

Tessa shrugged. "It depends. Sometimes it's something physical, like the time I got accidentally trapped in my school's locker room and freaked out. Others, I just think myself overwhelmed. Most recently, I received a call from the prosecutor on my case and ran from my house to the hospital in the rain. There is no set trigger."

"Interesting."

"Not if it's your life."

"I'm sure that's true. Do you blame your parents at all?" The therapist questioned.

Tessa thought for a moment, considering the mess of emotions she'd been when she came back. She decided the question was too vague to answer.

"What do you mean by blame them? For what?"

Sensing that she might have been on to something, Violet leaned forward; resting her head on her closed fists and elaborated.

"Do you blame them for not finding you sooner or letting you be taken in the first place?"

Tessa went silent and let her mind drift back into the basement; back into days of pain and longing for home.

"No, not at first. Never while I was gone. They had no idea some monster was stalking me. I knew they were looking for me, but I knew that it would probably take a long time for them to find me," She stopped and her fingers twisted into her hair band that waited for use on her wrist. "I did after I found about the baby. She was conceived before I got home, so it was hard to not feel replaced. I've moved on since then."

"What was it like?" This question needed no clearing up. Tessa knew exactly what she meant.

"It was…I don't think there are words to describe it. Those were the worst days of my life. I don't know how much the news has released to the public, but even the slightest details are horrific. I know every single detail. I remember how his breath smelled; how it felt when he beat me. I remember waking up in the basement and wishing I was dead. I remember seeing Violet beating him with a stick and feeling so proud. Those are my memories and they will be with me forever."

"Violet?" The doctor now looked extremely puzzled.

"The girl he had taken before. He'd had her for thirteen years. Which, I learned doesn't fit his MO. Most of his victims were teenagers, thirteen at the youngest and seventeen at the oldest. Turns out he used to live down the street from her and took her for convenience. She was four."

"I see. And how is she holding up? I assume going through that with someone creates quite a bond."

Tessa pulled the rubber on her wrist taut. "She's dead."

That alarmed Dr. Turner. "What happened?"

"I'm surprised you don't know. When we escaped, Robert stabbed us in some sort of last ditch effort. He got me six times but Violet only once. Her wound got infected and she didn't make it."

Pity soaked through the woman's eyes, and Tessa knew it was sincere. "I'll live and I'll make sure he rots in jail for everything he did to us. To all of us."

Suddenly, the door swung open from behind them, and Addison swooped in. Her eyes were full of questions, but she managed to hold her tongue, for now.

"Sam and Nai are ready to go if you are, baby."

Tessa nodded and turned back towards her impromptu therapist.

"Thank you for listening, Dr. Turner."

Violet smiled warmly at the teen, standing up from her stool. "Thank you for answering my questions. I wish you the best of luck with everything, Tessa. You are a remarkable young woman."

With a bashful smile, Tessa ducked out the door, her mother close behind. "Did you have a nice chat, Tess?"

"Yeah, I did. I know you didn't really want me to, but I felt like I needed to. Does that make sense, Mom?"

"It does. I know sometimes that talking about what happened is the only way to heal. I just wish I could be the one you talked to."

Tessa opened her mouth to protest, but her mother held up her hand. "I know, I know. That doesn't take away the fact of how helpless I feel. I know talking to me is not an option, but I'm your mother and I hate that you have to go to a stranger to feel better. That's something I have to deal with, and it's a small burden compared to yours."

The young girl nodded, still feeling the shadows of past hanging off her shoulders. The small crowd of people waiting for her return smiled as mother and daughter approached. Charlotte, the tour guide, moved to meet her.

"There's the girl of the hour. Sam was telling us stories about you, some your parents didn't even know."

Tessa felt her cheeks heat up. "Oh? Like what?"

"Like the time you decided to play hide and seek without telling anyone while Sam was watching you and Maya and you hid in the bathroom cabinets. Sam said he almost called the cops 'cause he thought you'd been taken from right under his nose."

Derek suddenly looked at his former best friend. "How come we didn't know about that?"

Sam laughed nervously. "I was afraid you wouldn't let me watch her anymore if you knew. Besides, I found her and everything turned out just fine."

A bitter smile formed on Tessa's face. "Didn't know that Sam could see into the future."

Awkward grimaces suddenly filled the room and the teen winced. "Sorry; sometimes joking about it makes people a little more comfortable."

Charlotte just chuckled. "No, that's gotta be healthy. If you can joke about a terrible thing that must mean you're healing."

Tessa studied the woman closely. There was something in her eyes that told her that she had personal experience with a major trauma. Of course, now wasn't the time to ask. She flicked her eyes towards the elevator where Sam, Naomi, and her parents waited. She gave Charlotte a brief smile and hurried towards them. Addison smiled as she approached.

"Nai offered to take us to lunch at a place on the beach. Sound good?"

Tessa felt her stomach rumble in appreciation of that suggestion. "That sounds awesome! I'm starving."

The five of them made their way to Malibu, where Sam and Naomi led them to a cute little restaurant right on the water. Tessa watched the sun dance on the waves as she waited for her lunch.

"So, Tessa, how's everything going?"

Naomi looked awkward asking the question, as if too much could read into it.

"It's good; school's great, soccer's doing better. We won our first three games."

"That's fantastic. I remember you trying out for your first team back in New York. You were so cute in your little uniform!"

The teenager just smiled. Her eyes drifted back out to the hypnotic water, and she felt the strangest desire to float away on it. The couples looked at each other, knowing that they needed to talk to each other in private. Naomi turned to Addie, an excited grin on her face.

"So, a new baby. How exciting! I know you said you didn't have a name picked out yet, but do you have any ideas?"

The red head shook her head. "Nope. We haven't been able to decide anything. Derek wants something old fashioned, I want something more modern, and Tessa hasn't come up with any suggestions."

"You think one name is bad; Charlotte and Cooper had to come up with _three names_ for their triplet girls."

Derek raised his eyebrows at the thought. "That's terrifying."

"What, having to pick three names?"

He turned towards his wife, who was smirking at him. "No, having three babies at once. Having one is daunting."

Addison rubbed the swell of her belly gently. "I agree. Two unplanned babies at different times seems unimaginable, let alone three."

"Should I take offense to that?"

Chuckling, Addison reached out to brush some fly away hairs from her daughter's face. "No, sweetheart. I loved every minute with you as a baby, and I'll love every minute with this baby, too. It'll be even better with you there to help me."

Tessa gave her mom a surprised look. "Who says I'm helping? You make the poop machine; you clean up the poop machine!"

The small party laughed, and the table fell silent as the food arrived. Tessa enjoyed the meal immensely, and soon everyone was loose tongued and sharing. Sam and Naomi enjoyed a glass of wine each, which helped loosen their lips even more.

"I'm sure you've noticed that we haven't mentioned Maya. She's doing fine; finally graduating from college. And little Olivia is doing wonderful. She started kindergarten and got a new little brother last year. Maya separated from Dink before the baby was born, so she moved back in with us, but got her own place a few months ago. Her life's turned out fine; it just went in the wrong order. I wish she would've focused a little more on school. I mean, look at you, Tessa. You went through what you did and your mom tells me that you're still top of your class. How do you manage it?"

Tessa glanced shyly around the table. She was stuck in the spotlight, but her dad's hand rubbing down her back helped her speak.

"Well… it helps me focus. I usually don't finish all of my homework on purpose so if I can't sleep, I do it and I relax. My friends help a lot, too. They're super supportive and protective of me. School's always been a tether to normal life and I guess I cling to it pretty hard. My therapist is a good connection as well. Talking to her once a week really helps. Of course, having my family always there doesn't hurt anything. The truth is, after I got home, my life could've gone very different. I'm still very damaged, but I'm getting better with all the people who love me. They're what helps the most."

A somber silence fell around them, and Naomi suddenly sobered up as she realized what she had asked.

"That's very profound, Tessa Bug," Naomi turned her moist eyes away from the blushing teenager to look at her parents. "We should have called. We should have called you guys as soon we saw that your baby was missing. That was wrong of us. You would have called us, had our positions had been switched. I am so terribly sorry."

Addison reached across the table and squeezed her friend's hand. "It's okay, Nai. Really. Everything is just fine; my girl is back, we're all sitting together, and I have another girl on the way. Everything's perfect."

Quickly, they finished lunch and it was decided collectively to go to The Villa, a Greek and Roman art museum that Tessa loved. She felt like she was a part of history. By the time they finished the exhibits, the sun was setting, and Derek let his daughter open the sun roof as they made their way done the Pacific Coast Highway. Addison and Naomi immediately disappeared to start making dinner while the guys and Tessa wandered out onto the deck to play cards and watch the sunset. After beating her father and honorary uncle three times in poker, Tessa meandered into the kitchen, pausing short of the doorway. Her mother and Naomi were talking, and she could instinctively tell it was serious.

"Be honest, Addie. How are you really doing?"

The red head sighed. "Honestly, I am so tired. This pregnancy and everything else is just taking it all out of me." It didn't take a genius to realize by everything, she really meant her broken teenage daughter eavesdropping on her conversation.

"Don't Derek and Tess help out?"

"Of course they do; they're wonderful. I could have them waiting on me hand and foot if I wanted to. I just always feel so helpless. Tessa depends so much on her therapist and Amelia; sometimes I feel like she doesn't need me anymore, and then I wonder if it's because I'm pregnant. You know she moved out for two weeks after we told her? Yeah, she stayed with Amelia and would ignore us whenever she saw us. I- I thought I was going to have to choose between my children. Sometimes she's so clingy it seems like she never wants to let go and then other times I can hardly get her to look at me. And we have the trial coming up the week after Christmas. I expect we'll have a few breakdowns on our hands. And with the health risks with this pregnancy they treat me as if I'm more fragile, especially Tessa. I know she just wants to protect me, but that's my job. I just… I can't help her. Do you know how infuriating it is to see your child suffering and just standing on the sidelines like an overweight coach?"

Naomi clucked her tongue in pity. "I'd noticed she wasn't the same Tessa Bug anymore, but I expected it. She's grown up; in more ways than one. She's so mature, yet vulnerable at the same time. And I do know how you feel, to an extent. Dink was starting to drink. He actually hit Maya once. Sam doesn't know that; he'd kill him if he did. That's the real reason she left. He doesn't even know he has a son."

Addison shook her head sadly. Oh, Nai, why did we stop talking? We both needed each other so much. How did our families get here?"

Tessa moved closer to the doorway, making sure she couldn't be seen, to hear the other woman's answer.

"I don't know, Addie. But, look at it this way; the dark stuff has to over, right? I mean, Tessa has a long road back to being normal and Maya's started over. Our girls are both so strong and so are we. They take after us. I think everything will be okay soon."

The eavesdropping teenager heard the sound of shuffling and assumed that the two friends were embracing. She took this opportunity to make her presence known.

"Mom? Naomi? Need any help?"

The two broke apart quickly, each wiping away tears guiltily. Addie gave her daughter a watery smile.

"Uh, sure baby. Think you could chop up some tomatoes for us?"

A quick smile turned up the corners of her lips. "No problem; it's probably a good thing that there are four doctors in this house because I'm prone to cutting myself."

Identical chuckles burst from the two women as they each fell back to their respective task. Naomi glanced over her shoulder at the girl she'd watched grow up. Tessa had rolled up her jeans so she could see a pale scar where she realized with horror that a shackle had been there. Now, an anklet made of thread wrapped around her leg instead. She was thin, but that was no surprise as she'd inherited her mother's metabolism. Over dinner Naomi had noticed the dark circles that sat under the girl's green eyes and the way they were always darting around nervously. She'd also seemed to grow into the graceful surgeon's hands both her parents had passed down as well. Her dark hair, Derek's hair, fell halfway down her back with her bangs pulled back that showed off her sharp cheekbones. Aside from the green eyes, she could've been Amelia's daughter. She was beautiful, inside and out.

"So Tessa Bug, you have a boyfriend?"

That got both the teenager and her mother's attention. Tessa blushed fiercely.

"No, I don't."

"No? I find that hard to believe. Boys must be all over you; you are so beautiful!"

Tessa shrugged as Addison's hackles went down as she was reassured that no boys were pounding down their door.

"Boys aren't really interested in damaged goods like me."

That made Addison and Naomi turn and stare at the girl. The comment had left her so easily; she hadn't even looked up from the cutting board.

"You're not damaged goods, Tessa. Who told you that?"

Again, Tessa shrugged. "Nobody, really. It's just a fact I guess. Last year, boys were all over me, always offering to walk me to class or asking for my number. I rarely gave it to them, but the attention was nice. Now all I get is stares in the hallway and wide berths. But, I've learned that I don't need some guy's approval of me to be worth something, so that's good. I've learned that I'm not an object that needs judgment."

The two friends shared concerned glances before moving swiftly to the teen's side. They both wrapped an arm around the girl and squeezed her between them. She looked up, instinctively squeezing back. When they released her, she looked between them, befuddled.

"Thanks, but what was that for?"

Her red headed mother pressed a kiss to her head before answering. "You just needed a hug, we could tell. And you're right; you don't need any boy telling you you're worth something."

Just as the sentence left her mouth, Derek entered the room, two empty glasses in his hands. "Oh, don't tell me I just heard something about boys, because I don't think I can handle that."

Tessa smirked as she gathered some of the cut fruit and dumped it on top of the salad. "Don't worry Dad, there are no boys. Not yet anyway."

"Good. Boys are no good. Although it sure would be fun to scare one in the living room while he waited for you. That would almost make it worth it."

Tessa smiled and hugged her dad quickly. "Just think; you have to go through this twice. Once with me and once with Little Bean."

Derek's face paled at the thought, and he shot Addison's belly a concerned glance. "I hadn't thought about that. Oh God, Addie what are we going to do?"

Addison chuckled at the panic on her husband's face. "Don't worry, hon. By the time that Little Bean starts to date you'll be too old to do anything about the boys."

"That is not in any way reassuring."

"I know, but the look on your face was worth it. Besides, I have a feeling that our oldest here will be protective enough for the both of us," Addison's slim fingers flew out and tickled her daughter's sides, making the girl shriek and duck away.

Naomi laughed as she finished setting the table, and finally the smell of fajitas wafted through the air towards the giggling Shepherd girls, and they looked towards each other excitedly.

"Dinner is served, ladies and gentleman, enjoy!"

That night, on the beach under the stars, a long lost family joined together again. Laughter was shared in plethora, smiles in multitudes, and even a few tears fell onto empty plates after the meal was over. Tessa tilted her head back, and was surprised to see a sprinkling of stars winking back at her. A slow smile spread across her lips, and an overwhelming sense of peace floated down into her soul. She was so happy.

* * *

" _Derek, make sure all the presents from Santa are by the fireplace and the ones from the family are-"_

 _The dark haired man cut off his distracted wife. "Addie, this is our eighth Christmas; I know how to set it up."_

 _His green eyed wife shot him a glare as she straightened already perfect stockings. "I know, I know. It's just, I think this is our last Christmas where our little girl believes in Santa. I want it to be perfect."_

 _Derek smiled sadly at his forlorn looking wife. Setting down the set of Harry Potter books Tessa had asked for, he moved to wrap Addison in his arms. "Really?"_

" _Yeah, I do. Nine years is when I stopped believing in Santa, and she's already asking questions that I just don't know how to answer. She's so smart; she'll figure out I'm lying," Her eyes moistened with tears as she raised her hands to fan them away. "Our baby's growing up."_

 _Derek gently wiped away the few tears that escaped when she blinked away with his thumb. "She won't be grown up by this morning, Ad. She'll jump on our bed and bounce down the stairs to see what Santa brought her, just like she has for the past five Christmases."_

 _Leaning her forehead against his, Addison sighed. "You're right. And I know she'll still be excited after Santa doesn't exist anymore, even if it's just for my sake."_

" _C'mon, Addie. Let's go to bed. It's one now, and Tess will in our bed right around three after she checks down here."_

 _Chuckling softly, Addison took her husband's outstretched hand and followed him up to their bed. After they tucked themselves in and the red head was securely in Derek's arms, she leaned back and pressed a Christmas kiss to his lips._

" _Merry Christmas, Der. I love you."_

" _And I love you, Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd. Merry Christmas."_

 _Sooner than they'd like, a warm little body was climbing over Addison's pajama clad body._

" _Mommy! Santa came!"_

 _Addison turned over onto her back and held her daughter close. "Did he? Did he eat the cookies you left out, too?"_

" _Uh huh! There were only crumbs left," Her bright green eyes shone from the light that came from the night light she insisted her parents kept on. Even though she knew the answer every year, the little girl couldn't help but ask, "Can we go open presents now?"_

 _Pouting slightly, Addison shook her head. "No, baby. You know that we don't open presents until the sun rises, and Daddy isn't even up yet. But, you can stay with us until we can go down. How's that?"_

 _Tessa nodded happily; getting to stay with her mommy and daddy was almost as good as opening presents. Quickly, she snuggled down in between her parents, her little arm flung across Addison's middle, the movement waking her father. Derek smiled over his daughter's sleep flattened hair at Addie. As if she could sense that he had awoken, Tessa turned and gave her father a brilliant smile._

" _Hi, Daddy. Santa came. Did you hear him?"_

 _Giving a mock frown, Derek shook his head. "No sweetheart, I didn't. I was asleep. But, you were a very good girl this year so I'm sure you have a lot of presents. Now, you get some more sleep so you can be all ready to go open them."_

 _Immediately obeying his orders, Tessa curled back into her mother's side and drifted off. Thankfully, Derek and Addison got four more hours of sleep before their little girl was bouncing up and down in her footie pajamas covered in dancing reindeers._

" _It's Christmas, it's Christmas! C'mon Mommy and Daddy! The sun's up so we can open presents now!"_

 _Smiling happily, Addison and Derek swung out of bed, following their dancing daughter down the stairs. Tessa gasped excitedly at the sight of presents taking over the living room. Her feet hopped in overwhelmed enthusiasm and indecisiveness at where to start. Her big eyes grew even wider when she turned back towards her parents._

" _Where do I start?"_

 _Addison hummed as she sat down on the couch with a mug of coffee and snuggled next to her still half asleep husband. "I don't know, baby. Santa's presents look really promising, but save the long and wide one for last."_

 _Tessa focused again on the dazzling gifts. Suddenly, a smile grew on the little girl's face and she dove for two identical presents. She turned back around quickly, presenting them to her parents shyly. The two surprised parents glanced at each other, each expecting a knowing look on the other's face. Tessa stepped forward, thrusting them into their hands._

" _Aunt Amelia helped me. Open them!"_

 _They did so immediately. As soon as the wrapping paper fell away, Addison gasped. A picture of Tessa standing on a large rock with her arms flung out wide stared back at her. Tessa's curls were blown off her shoulders in a gust of wind and her little leggings and sweater set matched perfectly. A glance at Derek's hands told her that he had received the same perfect photo._

" _Oh Tessa, where did you take this? When did you take this?"_

 _Their little girl twisted her fingers together bashfully. "The weekend after Thanksgiving when Aunt Amelia watched me for the weekend. She took me to the park and took pictures of me. They're for your desks at work. The newest one you have is from school and that one isn't as nice as this one."_

 _Addison opened her arms and Tessa dropped herself into them happily. "I like every picture of you, but I really like this one. Thank you baby girl. This is perfect."_

 _Tessa pulled out of her mother's arms and stepped closer to her father. "Do you like it, Daddy?"_

 _Derek smiled at his little princess. "It's beautiful, sweetie. I love it and I love you. Thank you, Tessa."_

 _Tessa launched herself at her father and snuggled into his chest. "I'm glad you like it. I've wanted to tell you forever, but I had to keep it a surprise."_

" _That's right, baby. How about you open some of your presents now?"_

 _Nodding excitedly, Tessa picked out present after present and squealed happily at each gift that was hidden under wrapping paper and tissue paper. Addison and Derek smiled and gasped at the gifts they received from each other. Finally, the last present, the long and wide one Tessa patiently saved for last, was the only one left next to the fireplace. Her little fingers danced over the bow and her eyes glowed elatedly. She glanced back at the piles of presents from Santa, her parents, aunts and uncles, and even a special sweater from Grandma Carolyn for Heddie. Unexpectedly, her eyes grew distressed. Addison immediately noticed._

" _What's the matter, Tessa?"_

 _Her sensitive little girl looked up, doe eyed. "I don't know what this could be, mommy. I have everything I asked for already."_

 _A smile grew on her father's face. "Well, this is something I told Santa you needed. It wasn't on your list, but it was on my mine for you."_

 _Looking slightly relieved, Tessa began to open the gift. As soon as the paper fell away, overwhelmed tears filled her eyes. The complete set of Harry Potter books, tucked into a fake trunk ready for the Hogwarts train, sat in front of her._

" _Oh, I love it! I can't wait to read them all!"_

 _All of the sudden, Tessa launched herself at her parents, wrapping one around each. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is the best Christmas ever!"_

 _Derek and Addison simultaneously pressed kisses to the sides of their daughter's head._

" _I'm so glad, baby. And I loved every present you got me, especially the picture."_

" _That's right, princess. You did a really good job, Tessa." Derek praised the little girl in his arms._

 _Tessa turned herself over in their arms and sighed contentedly. "This really was the best Christmas ever. I love you, Mommy. I love you, Daddy. Merry Christmas."_

" _Merry Christmas, Tessa."_


	25. Baby's Day Out

Tessa fell onto the floor with a groan. Her duvet was tangled around her bare legs and her elbow ached from her landing. She looked around her room, bewildered, and then slowly realized what happened. Another nightmare. That was the third this week. That damn trial was really messing with her mind. Staying up till 1 A.M. every night for a week going over trial prep wasn't helping either. Knowing that pursuing more sleep was futile, Tessa pulled on a pair of pajama pants and a sweatshirt over the tee shirt she slept in and tiptoed downstairs. Her bare feet padded softly over the hardwood floor as she headed towards the fridge. She blinked as the bright light momentarily blinded her. A bowl of grapes called out to her and she quickly pulled it out. Her green eyes wandered to the clock on the stove and she sighed at the time. It was only 3:15.

Tessa continued on to the living room, plopping down on the couch. Her hand fumbled for the remote and the TV blinked to life. Of course, nothing was on this early in the morning. Finally, she settled on a crime show, hoping that the quiet voices and dark setting would lull back into unconsciousness. An hour later and Tessa found herself actually enjoying the show.

"Tessa?"

Tessa jumped at the sound of her name. Her confused, sleepy mother stood behind her, squinting in the light of the television.

"I'm sorry, Mom. Did I wake you?"

Addison shook her head as she stumbled into the living room and sat down next to her teenager.

"No, the baby wanted some juice," Her voice was hoarse from sleep. "What are you doing up?"

Tessa shrugged. "Eh, just couldn't sleep. No big deal."

That made Addison perk up slightly. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"No, just kept waking up. Really, it's nothing."

Addison obviously didn't believe her, but she didn't voice that thought; just snuggled closer to her daughter. "If you say so."

They were both silent, simply enjoying each other's company. Addison's slim fingers ran gently through her daughter's curls, making the girl relax against her. A shiver ran through Tessa's body and she snuggled closer.

"What's going through that pretty little head of yours, baby girl?"

The teenager just shrugged. "Nothing in particular. I was just thinking about the baby."

"Oh yeah? What about her?"

"That she's gonna be a lucky little girl. So many people are excited to meet her and willing to protect her. I was just thinking that I hope this trial is over before she's born. I don't want her entering the world where that's the main focus of her family," she stopped, looking down at her fingers. "Plus, if she is, she'll need you right when I'll really need you."

At the end of her statement, Tessa glanced shyly up at her mother, as if she was revealing a secret. Through sleep heavy eyes, her mother gave Tessa a puzzled glance.

"You mean you think that the baby will take my attention away from you and I won't be there for you at your trial?"

As if embarrassed by her admittance, Tessa ducked her head and nodded. Her eyes were glued to her fingers. What she didn't see was the heartbroken, betrayed look on her mother's face.

"Oh, honey. I promise that won't happen. Little Bean won't be born until May, and your trial may not even last that long. There is so much evidence piled against... him that it won't take that long at all. The jury will put him away fair and square."

Tessa shook her head dismissively and gave her mother her best smile. "I know. I'm sorry. That was late night ramblings. I think I'm just tired. I'm gonna go back to bed; see if I can't get more sleep. You should, too."

She stood up, untangling herself from her mother. Addison held onto her hand and pressed a kiss to it. "Night, sweetheart. I love you more than anything."

Tessa's foot was on the step as she replied. "Love you too, Mom." Her steps faltered, and her mouth opened as if she wanted to add more, but she shook her head and continued on. When she arrived back in her room, Tessa collapsed onto her bed, drawing her knees up to her chest. Sleep would continue to evade her, she was sure of it. A nagging, awful thought kept appearing in her head. She needed space. She needed some time away from all of this. Sure, that was what California was for; a break away from it all. And it worked. Tessa had the time of her life. She loved the sun and the sand between her toes. She'd even gone surfing and loved every minute of it. Her family spent much needed quality time with the Bennetts, and the entire week was wonderful. But, she didn't get any time away for herself. Addison was glued to her side, as if Tessa was out of her sight for a heartbeat she would disappear again. She needed to breathe. For two more hours, Tessa tossed back and forth in her bed. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore.

The teen leapt up from her bed and pulled on a pair of black jeans. She pulled on a grey v neck tee and a heavy blue-green flannel. A fleece pullover went on next, and she snapped up a beanie for later. Over a warm pair of socks, she tugged on her favorite high tops. As quickly as she could, Tessa packed her bag with everything she would need for the day; wallet, book, headphones, and her phone, though she turned that off and slipped into a pocket of her bag. She wasn't planning on answering any calls today. Tessa's hand was wrapped around her doorknob when guilt dug its talons into her heart. Biting her lip, Tessa turned around and grabbed a notebook and pen off her desk. Writing quickly, Tessa hoped that this note would be enough to assure her soon to be frantic parents.

 _Mom and Dad, I promise I'm okay; I just needed a day by myself. I have my phone but I don't plan on answering it. I'll be back before dark. Please don't worry too much. I know this is one of the worst things I could do, all things considering, but please don't hate me when I come home. I'm not trying to scare you; I just need to get away. Love, Tessa._

With guilt coursing through her veins, Tessa left the note on her pillow, knowing that her mother would see it first. The thought of the fear that her mother would feel shortly was enough to make her turn around and consider not leaving. Then, knowing what would inevitably happen if she didn't, she continued quickly and quietly out the door.

* * *

Addison awoke in her bed, curled into her husband's embrace. His breaths were moving wisps of her hair, and she swept them back with her hand. Slowly, she rolled out of his arms to check her alarm clock. It was a little after eight, and the next thought in her mind was her daughter. Her daughter who been awake in the middle of the night. Slipping out the bed and tugging on a robe, Addison wandered down the hall to her daughter's room. The sun was shining brightly through the window, illuminating the teen's room- the teen's empty room. A sick feeling grew in her stomach as her eyes searched her daughter's room. Her eyes zeroed in on Tessa's bed, specifically her pillow. A note stood out on the turquoise fabric. Almost tripping over her feet to snatch it up, the red head read it over and over; making sure she fully understood it. Tessa had left before dawn because she needed to get away. A part of her understood; she knew the stress that her poor baby was under. It made sense that she needed some time to herself. The other part of her was furious that Tessa would do this to her- that she would just take off and scare her to death. She hadn't raised her girl to be so selfish. Still, the fear that her daughter had been out on her own in a huge city for three hours built up in her. Tessa might've lived here for four years now and explored every nook and cranny of the Emerald City, but it didn't stop the worry currently flowing through her. Tears sprung up in her eyes and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. A whimper slipped out, though, and her hands moved to cup her bump. At least she could keep one daughter safe and sound. A deep sigh escaped Addison as realized she would have to tell her husband- and he wasn't going to be happy.

Leaving her daughter's room, Addison debated going downstairs just to make sure that her sneaky daughter wasn't down there asleep on the couch, but something told her that Tessa wouldn't be there. Heading back towards her bedroom, the red head moved to her husband's side of the bed. She reached out and shook Derek's shoulder carefully.

"Derek? Der, wake up."

Slowly, her husband came to, rubbing his eyes groggily. He smiled sleepily at her at first, not noticing her pained expression. As he came to his senses, Derek could tell something was wrong with his wife. He quickly sat up, grasping her for Addison's hand.

"What's wrong? Is it the baby? Are you in pain?"

As Addison repeatedly shook her head in answer to each frantic question, Derek relaxed.

"Addie, what's wrong?"

Her voice cracked as she answered him. "Tessa- Tessa's gone."

Her words made him pop from the bed, face pale. "What? What the hell do you mean she's gone?"

The red head pursed her lips. "She left this morning for a day for herself." Every word came out with a bitter taste.

The dark haired man looked hurt and confused. "Wh- She just left? When?"

"I don't know, sometime this morning. She just left. She wrote us a note."

Addison held it out to him, and he snatched it from her. His eyes ran over it many times, absorbing the words. Anger made his fists crumple the unhelpful piece of paper. His blue eyes locked onto his wife's as he reached for his phone.

"She better plan on answering my calls."

Addison shook her head dejectedly as Derek dialed their daughter's number. She knew there would be no answer. Tessa wanted to be alone; she wasn't going to answer her phone for anyone. It was probably turned off. But, she also knew that Tessa was well aware of what she was doing to her family. She _would_ be home before dark, because she knew if she wasn't then Addison would panic. She knew that worry would overwhelm both of her parents and she would feel awful for doing that to them. She already felt awful- her note proved it. That didn't stop her from leaving though. Tessa really did need this; she wouldn't do this to them otherwise.

Reaching out to his hand, Addison gently lowered the phone away from her husband's ear.

"Derek, stop. She's not going to answer the phone; she needs this. Let's just let her have the day."

Derek shot his wife an incredulous look. "What do you mean? She should know better than to do this after all we've been through. This is terribly selfish and awful of her."

Addison nodded. "It is. And she knows that. Tessa probably feels awful right now. But that's not going to stop her. It's almost enough to, but not quite. We can make her feel bad about it later, but for now, we have to let her be."

* * *

Tessa sighed as she sipped carefully from her hot tea. Her music played comfortingly in her ears and her book carried her off into the tragically sweet love story of Hazel and Augustus. A pile of new books sat on her left, both new and used. Tessa had spent the morning browsing her favorite bookstores, idly picking the novels up as she went. She'd certainly made a dent in her Christmas money. Her thoughts drifted back to the morning of Christmas, only three days ago. They'd returned from L.A. on the 23rd, and had celebrated quietly with only Amelia joining them for dinner prepared by Derek. The teenager had certainly been spoiled, even though she'd told her mother that she didn't really want anything besides a gift card for Barnes and Noble. Of course, she'd received tee shirts from all her favorite shops, new clothes, and a new phone case. Plus what she'd actually asked for. The money had come in later from her aunts, uncles, and grandmother. Now, there was hardly a penny to her name after her splurge today. A sigh slipped out of her as her thoughts drifted to her family. Her parents were going to be pissed when she got home, but she pushed that thought from her mind. Tessa put her book down as she considered what to do next. She really wanted to get out of the city for a while, lose herself in the woods. Unfortunately the woods would forever be tainted by the memory of Robert.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to her. The ferry. She hadn't been on the ferry since first arriving in Seattle and her dad tried to persuade her that it was going to be better than New York. Despite her sour mood and unwilling attitude to relent to her father's wishes, Tessa had begrudgingly agreed that the ferry was amazing. Quickly gathering up all of her purchases, Tessa quickly left the small coffee shop, heading towards the Sound.

* * *

"Amelia, have you heard from your niece today?"

Addison stood in front of her sister in law at the nurse's desk. The petite woman looked up, clearly puzzled.

"Uh, no? Should I have?"

Addison pursed her lips tightly and rubbed her hand across her face. "No, I guess not. I just wondered."

"Addie? Something you not telling me here?"

The red head glanced at her quickly before darting her eyes away again. "Tessa's gone."

Shock made Amelia's blue eyes go wide as saucers. "What the hell do you mean she's gone?"

"Funnily enough, that was exactly how your brother reacted when he found out."

"Addison, what do you mean that Tessa is gone? Why are you not freaking out? Why aren't the police-"

Addison held up her hand to halt the questions. "Amelia, calm down. Tessa wasn't taken; she left this morning and promised to return before dark tonight. She said she just needed a day off, a day away from everything."

Amelia again looked confused. "You're telling me that the girl we just back after being missing for four months decided to take off on a whim?"

"That would be correct."

"That can't be right, Addie. Tessa wouldn't do that to us, not after everything we've been through. Something has to be wrong."

Addison felt the raging disappointment of her daughter once again. It had been a hard pit in the bottom of her stomach since she'd discovered her daughter had left. It was something she was quite unused to feeling when she thought about Tessa. "No, everything's fine; she left a note. It's in her handwriting. Besides, I don't have the same feeling I had after she went missing the first time. I didn't notice at first, but after I first found out she was taken, I got this weird feeling in my chest, like my heart was beating too fast. I don't feel like that this time."

"This still doesn't make since. She needed a day? What the hell does that mean?"

The neonatal surgeon just shrugged. "I think with the stress of the trial she just felt… overwhelmed. I know California was supposed to be her break, but I didn't let her leave my side. I think she feels cramped."

Amelia huffed and reached into her lab coat to pull out her cell phone. She dialed her niece's number quickly and frowned when it went straight to voicemail like all the other times it had been called.

"What time is it?"

Addison glanced at her watch. "1:15, why?"

The petite brunette pocketed her phone again. "Because I get off at five. I want to be there when Tessa walks through the door."

"That's fine, but don't make her feel worse than she already does." With that half plea half warning, Addison walked back out of the hospital and to her car, only to get home and wait. Half way home, the baby in her belly began to stir. One of her little feet nudged against her bladder, and she hoped that there wouldn't be much traffic in-between here and home.

"Oh, Little Bean. Your older sister is gonna be in so much trouble when she gets home. I hope you turn just like her, baby. She's such a good person; she's so strong. Tessa Adrianne means well with every breath in her body, but sometimes it doesn't work out. She's been through a lot but I know she can't wait to meet you- none of us can. Don't rush though, okay? Take your time and get as strong as you can."

* * *

Tessa breathed as deeply as she could as the wind whipped off the water and into her face. It made the sound of the huge boat and tourists below her disappear. Her eyes watered as the cold air and wind mingled. This was what she needed. She needed the chaotic silence whirling around her, she needed just herself. She still had at least three hours before she had to be back, but she'd already ridden the fairy twice both ways. A thought burst in her mind just as the ferry struck the Seattle side of the water. She quickly disembarked the boat and made her way to the bus stop, which if her mother knew she would forbid the teen from ever leaving the house again, and waited for her stop. She knew exactly what she needed to do to make her amends for her little excursion. Tessa's hand flew up to her hair, now cut just below her shoulders. It had been her first stop this morning. Her hair had always been one of her defining features; it had always identified her as a Shepherd. In a fit of teenage rebellion, the tips of it were dyed a dark blue, not permanent of course. It would rinse out the next time she took a shower, but every time she caught a glimpse of her hair in a window or out of the corner of her eye, a kernel of satisfaction popped and made her whole body warm. She felt like a different person. She stepped into the little baby boutique, feeling out of place to the extreme. The shop owner, a nice looking woman with blonde hair greying at the temples, came out from behind the counter to greet her.

"Hi there, sweetie. Can I help you?"

Tessa smiled as she glanced around the cute shop. Baby clothes and supplies as far as the eye could see.

"No, thank you. I just need to pick something up for my little sister."

That obviously pleased the woman to hear. "Oh, that's so sweet! You're such a good sister!" She gushed loudly. The woman closed the distance between them and held out her hand. "I'm Debbie."

Tessa smiled thinly as she politely shook the woman's hand. "Tessa. It's nice to meet you."

"Well Tessa, the store is sectioned by age, and then by gender. How old is your sister?"

Tessa's cheeks pinked as she answered. "Well- she hasn't been born yet. I kind of made a big mistake recently, and I wanted to apologize."

Debbie suddenly looked concerned. "What did you do, dear?"

The teen in front of her chuckled softly. "It's a really long story. Let's just say I scared my parents really bad, and I wanted to make up for it. The baby was a big surprise, one that I wasn't exactly happy about, so I thought getting her something would… I don't know, help."

Debbie nodded understandingly. "I think I understand. You want to make amends through your baby sister."

"Does that make me an awful person? Using my unborn sister to make my parents forgive me? I mean, I feel like I owe her an apology, too- for something else entirely. She's just the favorite child right now, so…"

Tessa trailed off pathetically as her whole body flamed, waiting for this strange woman's answer.

"No, dear. You aren't an awful person. You're trying to apologize and even though you're doing to make yourself feel better, you're also doing it to make your family feel better. I'm sure everything will work out for you, Tessa. You seem like a very sweet girl. I'll leave you to shop, then."

Debbie waddled out of the room, presumably to the back. Tessa began to wander around the girl's newborns clothing, marveling at the tiny outfits. The thing that would be perfect would an onesie sporting the phrase; _I'm the little sister of an idiot!_ But she doubted that she'd find that folded on the shelf. Her fingers trailed along adorable dresses and tiny little pants. Tessa snorted as she picked up a pair of footie pajamas that said: _Yeah, I did it, but I'm adorable so you can forgive me for it._ It was only seven dollars, and it would break the ice when she got home. The other choices were almost overwhelming. Her mother would love this place. Just as she was about to give up on finding something else, another pair of pajamas caught her eyes. A pale purple little thing, covered in sleepy looking owls. It was cute, simple, and adorable. With a pleased smile, Tessa made her way to the checkout counter, where a smiling Debbie now stood. Tessa hadn't heard her come back out.

"Did you find everything all right, dear?"

Tessa gave her a beaming smile. "I did thanks. This shop is adorable. I'll have to bring my mom back here."

Debbie bagged her purchases. "That'll be $14.65."

Tessa handed her last fifteen dollars over, officially cleaning her out. It was all worth it, though. She quickly thanked the friendly old woman and left the boutique, memorizing the name so she could bring Addison back later. Bitty Baby. How cute.

The teen was a good few miles from home, and her feet hurt from traipsing around Seattle all day. It was all part of her punishment though, and she doubted that it even compared to the pain her parents were probably feeling all day. She could've used her emergency credit card to get a cab, but her mom didn't like her taking cabs by herself. It was ironic, in a sad way, that her mother was so overprotective with the little things, but Tessa was taken from the building she'd deemed the most safe. Dark was approaching soon, so Tessa packed her presents into her bursting backpack that was already stuffed with her books and began to run. Running in jeans and a flannel shirt wasn't exactly comfortable, but she had to be home on time. She had to.

* * *

Addison paced impatiently in the foyer. Amelia and Derek sat tensely in the kitchen watching both the clock and the sky. Derek sighed and ran his hand over his face.

"Addison-"

"Don't say it, Derek. Tessa will walk through that door any second. I know she will."

Her green eyes stayed glued to the door as she grew desperate. Doubt was beginning to creep in. What if she was hurt? What if she'd been taken again? What if she never walked through that door again? Thoughts that she assumed she would never think again banged around in her head again, making everything dull and dark. God, she loved her daughter, but right now she was so mad at her and desperate to see her; she wasn't entirely sure if she'd hug Tessa when she came in or slap her. The beautiful twilight sky through the windows was beginning to fade. Tessa was running out of time, and Addison was running out of faith. Thankfully, they still had some to spare when the teenager came slinking through the front door. Tessa's cheeks were pink from the cold and her breath came out in shallow huffs. Addison wasted no time in pulling her daughter's slightly shaking body into her arms.

"Thank god." Her words were muffled by her daughter's now short hair, but she didn't notice as Tessa wrapped her arms around her waist and reveled in the warmth of her mom.

"I told you I would come back."

Derek and his sister came slowly out of the kitchen, waiting for Addison to release the girl. Tessa pulled out of her mother's grasp and moved to stand in front of the two stern looking Shepherds. Derek studied her, taking in all the changes that she had made to herself today. Amelia stood slightly behind him, and she ducked her head so the teenager couldn't see the smile on her face at her appearance. She liked it. Tessa kept her eyes low, unable to meet her dad's. It wasn't long before he pulled her into his arms and squeezed tightly. He pressed his lips to the crown of her head.

"Don't you ever, ever do that to us, again. Not ever." His voice left no room for argument and Tessa wasn't planning to.

"I won't. I'm sorry I left like I did. I didn't want to- didn't plan to, but I had to. I know that it doesn't make any sense. I needed to be alone today."

Addison shuffled closer, wiping away tears that had slipped down her cheeks. "And that's perfectly fine, as long as you ask first."

Tessa nodded and finally looked up, making eye contact with her beloved aunt. Amelia stood with her arms crossed and the sternest frown she could manage. Yes, she was beyond angry at her niece for running off and scaring her pregnant mother like she did, but honestly, she couldn't stay mad at her girl. They'd already lost her once and she knew that they would all rather die than lose her again. Pushing her and yelling would do no good except make Tessa draw away from them. She couldn't keep up her disapproving act as her niece stood before her with adorably rosy cheeks, chopped and dyed locks, and the biggest, saddest eyes that had ever looked at her. Amelia rolled her eyes and yanked the girl against her with a squeeze.

"Come here, you little rebel. I like the blue." Against her chest, Tessa chuckled nervously. Addison froze next to her husband, suddenly staring at her teenager. The blue tips only covered about an inch of her hair, royal and bright. Addison's green eyes widened in shock and she pulled her daughter out of Amelia's embrace. Her hands locked onto Tessa's upper arms, forcing her to look at her.

"Oh my god. Tessa Adrianne Montgomery Shepherd, what the hell have you done with your hair?!"

Tessa tried to hide the smile that turned up the corner of her lips. "It's not permanent, Mom. It'll wash out when I take a shower."

That didn't seem to appease the red head much at all. "Don't you need a parent's signature to do this?"

"Mom, it's not a tattoo, it's cheap hair dye. I could wash it out right now if I wanted to."

"Go wash it out."

Tessa winced. "Do I have to? I really like it."

Addison raised her eyebrows at her daughter's whining. "After all that you've done today, you really want to argue with me?"

That made Tessa clamp up. She eyed her mother for another second before quickly stomping up the stairs towards the bathroom. Addison spun around to face her sister in law with a disbelieving frown just as she heard the water turn on.

"You didn't have to encourage her."

"Why not? She looked bad ass. The length is good for her, too."

The expectant mother just shook her head. "I have three children."

Amelia smiled wanly at her. "Could we stop hanging about in the entryway and go sit in either of the two rooms around us?" She turned back towards the kitchen and marched in, not bothering to look back to see if the other had followed.

Derek snorted at two of the most important girls in his life and sauntered back into the kitchen after his sister. "Is anybody hungry? Because I'm starved." He started to root around in the pantry, looking for food.

"I am."

They all turned at the sound of Tessa's voice. Her now completely dark brown hair was dripping water on her oversized tee shirt she'd changed into. She slipped into the seat at the bar, looking around expectantly. "I haven't eaten today."

Addison frowned at her admission, both the doctor side of her and the mother. "That's awful, Tessa. Why didn't you eat?"

"Didn't think about it, I guess."

Derek looked up from the stove where he was heating up a can of soup for his daughter; her favorite, tomato basil. "What did you do today?"

Tessa shrugged as she fingered a placemat. "Everything. I got my hair done, went to bookstores, and rode the ferry…"

Derek smiled as she trailed off. "How many times?"

His daughter grinned right back at him. "Four."

"That's my girl."

Tessa suddenly sat up, looking very excited. "Oh! I did do something else." She leapt up from the seat and they heard her run up the stairs. She came pounding back down for a moment, bulging back pack in hand. The teenager pulled out the bags she'd stuffed in there, laying them out on the counter. Her family looked on curiously, trying to see what she'd bought. The bag from the baby boutique was picked up by Addison, who looked up at her daughter with confused eyes.

"What's this, Tessa?"

The girl in question smiled sweetly. "I wanted to apologize for everything I've put you guys through, and I wanted to apologize to Little Bean as well, so I got her some presents. Open them."

Addison did so eagerly. She pulled out the owl pajamas first, and hummed in appreciation. "Oh, sweetheart. These are precious! Thank you!"

Tessa blushed as her mother pressed a kiss to her cheek. "There's another one." Amelia reached for the funny onesie, and laughed as she unfolded it.

"Nice one, Tess. Real subtle."

Addison leaned over and rolled her eyes as she read it. "You're so funny. Let's hope Little Bean has better manners than you."

Tessa shrugged sheepishly as she folded the baby clothes and placed them gently on the counter. "It was my last stop today, after the ferry. It was a really cute little store; we'll have to go back, Mom."

The red head reached for the bag the clothes came in, reading the name again. "Bitty Baby. That's cute. And I think you're right; we will have to go back. These are the only clothes she has as of right now. I don't even have a nursery ready yet."

The panic of being unprepared made Addison's eyes widen. "There's so much we need and I haven't even gotten started yet..."

A notepad found itself in her hands as she scribbled down a list on it. "God, how did I let the ball slip this much?"

Derek reached across the island to rub his wife's hand soothingly. "Relax, Ad. We still months before the baby gets here. We have plenty of time to get everything we need."

His calm voice seemed to help Addison relax, though not by much. She kept adding to the list, her eyes getting wider and wider as it grew. Tessa leaned toward her aunt, keeping her eyes on her mom like she was some wild animal.

"Was she like this before I was born?"

Amelia smirked and shrugged. "I don't know. I stayed far away until you were all wrapped up in a little blanket and the screaming had stopped."

Tessa snorted and got up from her chair to stand next to her father. His eyes softened as she wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed.

"I am sorry, Dad. I know I scared you today and probably made you upset. I didn't want to, but I knew it would. I just felt so closed in. I needed to get out of my head and not be me for a while. And it worked. I feel better. I feel like I can start this trial without having a major breakdown."

Derek smiled as he wrapped his around her shoulders and held him to her tight. "I know. Tessa, you are not the same girl you were six months ago. You are a very different person now. You were always independent, but now you need to be alone. You aren't as scared anymore because you know you can handle anything. You've grown up in ways I can't even imagine. It's still going to take some time to get used to all this. I'm not happy that you just took off without giving it much thought, but I understand why you did. Our lives are changing drastically, and I need to get used to it."

Tessa felt tears well up in her eyes at her father's words. He understood. No one ever understood; not even her wonderful mother and aunt. The person who had the hardest time dealing with everything was the first to understand, and she couldn't have been more thrilled that he did.

"Thank you."

Derek smiled and pulled Tessa into his chest. He would always love the Tessa that was there before, but she was gone. She was lost and would never come back. It was hard for him; it was hard for all of them. That Tessa was their little girl, their innocent baby. Now, they had a mature young woman who was the strongest person he'd ever met. And, even though he didn't know it was possible, he loved her even more for it every day.

* * *

 **Hey guys! I know it's been a while since the last chapter, and I'm sorry for that. I got a new computer but it didn't have word on it, so I've had to work on it at school when I have the time. this chapter was sort of odd , I know. it was a filler for the next few, all full of drama!**


	26. Kiss Away the Pain

Breathe. Step. That's all she had to do. Breathe. Step. Tessa kept repeating the words in her head over and over, keeping herself calm. The wild, rapid beating of her heart echoed loudly in her ears, drowning out the snaps of cameras and cacophony of questions. The courthouse steps were full of reporters, all eager to peer into her life. Derek and Addison flanked her, each keeping a hand flat on her back, gently ushering her along. ADA Carmichael led the way, her arm extended to make room for them to walk. The first day of her trial, the day of testimony started today. Actually, it started in about 30 minutes. Keeping her head down, Tessa began to pick up speed and burst past the lawyer that had so kindly kept her protected from the vultures that surrounded her family. She managed to slip past the reporters and into the great building. Into the quiet hum of court, life changing decisions being made left and right. Two guards stood behind two wooden tables with metal detectors between them. Tessa gulped for air in front of them as they eyed her suspiciously. She closed her eyes and collected herself for a moment.

A few deep breaths later, the teenager stepped forward and pushed her bag towards the stoic man. He pawed through it, moving her Kindle, ear buds, wallet, and gum aside. She didn't know if there would be time to read or listen to music, but one was always prepared. When he found her phone, his beady brown eyes glanced up at her.

"Make sure you have this off or silenced in the courtroom. If you go on the stand, it must be off." His deep voice warned her.

Still a bit dazed, Tessa nodded. Slowly, her eyes traveled the marbled walls, looking for a sign directing her to the restroom. She found it, and quickly moved through the throng of people all awaiting uncertain fates or ultimately deciding someone else's. Fortunately, the restroom was empty, and Tessa sighed in relief. She leaned against the porcelain sink, staring at her unfamiliar reflection. Only a few familiar features jumped out at her; most looked like puzzle pieces randomly glued onto her face. The dark circles under her green eyes were a part of her now, but the chopped hair still surprised her every time she looked into a mirror. She ran her shaking fingers through the straightened locks, tugging at the ends. Her hands traveled down to the long necklace that she'd slipped on this morning, and the charm she fingered was a compass Amelia had given her last night. It fell against the black short sleeved dress and blazer she wore with her black heels. She looked like a teenager getting ready for a date or a party, not one about to spend the day in a courtroom sending the man who had kidnapped, beaten, and raped her straight to prison. A bittersweet day; justice was finally being served, but at what cost to her and her family?

Tessa let her head fall against her chest and closed her eyes. She heard the door open behind her. "Not in the mood, Mom."

"Not in the mood for what?" Tessa glanced up in the mirror quickly to see Meredith standing behind her, looking completely out of place in her silk blouse and dress skirt instead of dark blue scrubs. Automatically, Tessa flashed a weak smile at her before flicking her eyes away. She could just barely see Meredith move closer in the reflective glass in front of her.

"I forgot you were testifying today, too. Sorry you have to miss work and spend the day here."

The teen glanced up shyly to see the blonde smiling. "You know I don't mind. Much like the rest of the hospital, I'd do anything to help you, Tessa. You're part of the family," Meredith titled her head as she met Tessa's green eyes. "You doing okay?"

Unconvincingly, Tessa nodded. "Yeah, totally. Today's perfectly normal."

"God, you sound like Amelia."

Tessa smiled. "That doesn't sound like a compliment, but I'm going to take it as one." Finally turning around from the sink, Tessa faced Meredith with a puzzled, almost worried frown. "Why are you so nice to me? I mean, me and mom kinda ruined your chance at having a happily ever after. Mom was mean to you, and if I remember correctly, so was I. Have ever I apologized for that?"

No longer smiling, Meredith moved closer with her arms crossed. "Tessa, you were just a child in the midst of her family falling apart. I've been there once, too. And your mom wasn't as mean to me as she could've been, nor were you. I was a home wrecker; I deserved it. Besides, I'm doing okay at the moment. I have Zola, and she's my entire world. I think you're forgetting that I've watched you grow up as well. I was the one who recognized you and saved your life. That's sort of why I'm here today. I forgive you for everything you think you did, because like it or not, I'm an aunt you never wanted."

Tessa smiled again, for real this time, and moved to hug the woman. "Thank you for everything you've done for me, Meredith. It means a lot."

Laughing softly and hugging the girl back, Meredith ran a hand over her hair. "You're more than welcome, Tessa. Like I said, we'd all do anything for you. Now that we've had our little moment, there is a very stressed out lawyer looking for you."

Tessa groaned, but released the woman from their hug. She flashed her one more grateful smile as they both left the restroom, only to be greeted with the sight of Tessa's family and lawyer all waiting anxiously. Tessa could almost see the wave of relief washed over all of their faces. Mrs. Carmichael rushed forward, grasping for Tessa's arm.

"Okay, I have some news- news that might be slightly disturbing, but I had to warn you."

Tessa arched her eyebrow warily. "Okay… what is it?"

The lawyer took a deep breath and slid her hands up to anchor on Tessa's upper arms and squeezed reassuringly. The movement only made Tessa more nervous.

"This morning, Robert Garrett decided to change his council. He let his defense attorney go, and persuaded the judge to allow him to defend himself…"

Tessa felt the shock of the news slowly shut down her brain. Whatever nerves of steel she'd had that morning just dissipated. She would have to answer _his_ questions, look into _his_ eyes, and talk directly to _him._ This could not be happening.

"N-no. That doesn't make any sense at all. That's- that's witness intimidation or something, right?"

Jane shook her head. "I know it's not fair. I already tried to get the judge to re-rule, but she wouldn't. It's his constitutional right, and unbeknownst to me, he was a lawyer in his previous life."

Tessa shook her vehemently. "I won't- I can't. I can't talk to him. I was having panic attacks just thinking about him sitting across from me; what am I going to do when he's a foot away?"

That was Derek's place to step in. "That's why we're here, Tess. We're here to support you, no matter what. He can't hurt you at all; he can't touch you."

Jane nodded encouragingly. "That's right. I went over his questions, and he went over mine. I felt that they were all acceptable. I know that this is a severe dent in your confidence, but it shouldn't be. The judge has already warned that he is on a very, very short leash, one that I have a tight hold on. This son of a bitch will not traumatize you again; you have my word on that."

Tessa nodded, and felt a wave of immense gratitude and affection for the people surrounding her. Her mother and father, aunt, and of course, the extended family from the hospital, would always be there for her to lean on. She loved them all so much.

Out of the corner of her eye, Tessa saw a flash of two bodies launch themselves at her, and suddenly she was in the arms of her two best friends. Evie and Liv squeezed Tessa around her middle tightly, each expressing how much she meant to them through the embrace. Tessa released them first, and pulled back with the biggest smile of the day.

"Guys, what are you doing here?"

Evie flashed her soft smile. "We couldn't not be here for you today, Tess. What kind of best friends would we be if we didn't show you all the support we had?"

Liv nodded. "Yeah, we promised to always be there for each other, no matter what. We just never thought we'd have to be there for a kidnapping trial, but a promise is a promise."

Tessa rolled her eyes, but pulled them back in for another hug. "Thanks, losers. I love you guys, you know that?"

The teens shrugged, as if to say duh, but the trio's bonding moment didn't last long. ADA Carmichael dropped her hand onto Tessa's shoulder.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need one more moment with Tessa before her testimony. It won't take long."

Tessa nodded and turned to let the attorney escort her away when they suddenly stopped. The teen turned to see that her parents had followed like eager puppies. Jane stopped them with an apologetic smile and a raised hand.

"I'm afraid this meeting must be done alone, with only attorney and client. I know that makes you both nervous, but I assure you that everything's all right. I just need to add something to Tessa's instructions."

Derek and Addison hesitated, sharing a glance before nodding their permission. They watched with great difficulty as their daughter walked away from them with her head held high and her hands shaking slightly. Addison turned towards Derek, and ran her hands down the front of her new designer maternity dress. Her own hands shook and Derek swiftly grabbed them in his own.

"Addie, she'll be okay. She trusts Mrs. Carmichael and feels comfortable with her. She won't be out of our sight long. I know your Mama Bear instincts are running rampant, but we can't coddle her today."

Addison pursed her lips together tightly. "I know, I know. You're right. It's not just that our daughter is beginning what will most likely be one of the most difficult periods of her life today; it's that we _can't_ do anything to help her. I just miss the days when all of the problems she faced could be kissed away by one of us. I just want everything to be normal again. Is that too much to ask?"

Derek smiled his infamous "McDreamy smile" (though Addison refused to call it that) at her, and cupped her cheeks, slightly rounded by pregnancy, in his hands. He leaned forward and softly pressed a kiss to her forehead to calm her.

"It will, one day. We'll be a normal family again after all of this is over, with a brand new baby girl to adore as well. I'd do anything to make it better for both of you and Tessa, but this situation is out of our hands."

His wife nodded against his lips before pulling away. Her green eyes were soft, but Derek knew that her somber expression would shift after they walked into the courtroom. But, he wasn't expecting such anger and malice to fill her face so quickly. His back was to the door, and he quickly turned around to see who his wife was glaring at. Derek soon felt his own features rearrange into a snarl at the sight of a large, clean shaven man in an ill-fitting suit and handcuffs. Robert Garrett, the man who had stolen and almost broken their daughter, stood only twenty feet away. Instinctively, the surgeon gently pulled his wife and unborn child behind him protectively. As if he knew, the prisoner turned towards Derek and smirked. Just as two guards latched onto his arms to lead him away, Robert winked. Derek felt bile rise in his throat and resisted the very strong urge to follow him and kill him with his own bare hands, taking his own form of justice.

From behind him, he heard Addison suck in a deep breath and he quickly spun around. Her fists were crumpled in anger and murderous flames danced in her eyes. Derek had never seen his wife like this, but he knew that he looked exactly the same way. Grasping her clenched fist in his own hand, the dark haired man gently led his wife to sit on the bench, knowing that her blood pressure spiking wasn't good for her or the baby.

"Who the hell does he think he is winking at us like that? I was ready to kill him; I still am!"

"I know, I know. It's hard to just stand by and sit with our hands tied."

Addison shook her head and rubbed her belly, soothing the jumping baby and herself. "It's not just that I feel completely and utterly helpless, because I do. He scared me, Derek. I've never said a word to him, never been close to him, and he scared me. Tessa is the strongest person I know by far, but I don't know how she's going to it."

Derek nodded, silently admitting that he felt the same way. Addison slipped under his arm nuzzled her face into his neck. They sat together until they noticed their daughter trailing behind the ADA. She stepped out from behind her towards her parents. Addison immediately plastered on a fake smile for Tessa's sake. Getting to her feet as quickly as she could, the red head pulled her teen into her arms and rubbed her back comfortingly. Tessa was tense in her arms, and Addison wished with her whole heart that this day would just end for her girl. Tessa pulled away after a moment. Her eyes drifted towards the large closed court doors and sighed. Jane paced outside of them, and she noticed that the two detectives that had helped her, Bates and Martin, were flanking her. Bates noticed her first and beckoned her forward, her face unreadable. Tessa didn't bother to make sure her parents were following her as she strode toward them, coming to a standstill next to Detective Martin. The stoic man gently clapped his hand down on her shoulder, and the teen shot him a grateful grin.

"You ready for this, kid?"

Tessa nodded and then shook her head. "No, I'm not and I don't know why I keep saying I am. I am most certainly not ready, but I have no other choice and I've accepted it. I'm doing it for all the girls that can't."

The corner of his lips turned up, the closest thing to a smile she'd ever get, and bobbed his head approvingly. "I'm glad to hear you say that because nobody is ever ready to testify. I've done it countless times and I'm still not used to it. Court is intimidating, but you can do it."

ADA Carmichael tapped her watch and stepped up next to Tessa. "Okay, Tessa. It's time. Just keep your eyes on me and everything will be just fine."

Tessa chewed on her lip with her teeth and began to walk through the doors when a hand closed on her elbow. She spun around and found herself into the unexpected embrace of her aunt.

"Amelia! What are you-"

"Don't even finish that question because you already know why I'm here. Now, I don't want to make you late but I wanted you to know that I'm here; that I'm always here."

Tessa smiled brightly as her aunt pushed her away slightly to get her to move. The first thing she noticed as she walked into the ornate courtroom was the people sitting in the gallery. And then, her eyes landed on Robert. He sat at a plain wooden table with another man, but she could only see the back of his head. As if he knew it was her, the girl who'd gotten away, he turned and smiled. All at once, her breathing faltered, and her feet stumbled over each other. His grin only widened as he realized what power he still had over her. All he had to do was look at her and she'd fall. A hand caught her upper arm and squeezed gently. Tessa didn't need to look to know who it was; Jane said she would have her back no matter what. With the physical encouragement, Tessa held her head up and directed her attention to the judge and jury. Her eyes found the nameplate that sat in front of her judge. Judge Michelle Fray. Twelve expressionless strangers sat stoically in their uncomfortable chairs as she slipped into her own at the witness stand. The bailiff approached her with the Bible flat on his hand. With an almost bored tone, he swore the teenager in and the judge instructed her to be seated.

"Please state your full name for the record."

"Tessa Adrianne Montgomery Shepherd."

From across the stately room, ADA Carmichael stood as she flipped through the notes laid out on the plain wooden tables. She smiled kindly as she began to pace in front of the jury box.

"So, Ms. Shepherd. Could you please inform the court of why we are here today?"

Tessa nodded and inclined her head towards the jury. "I was kidnapped and held captive by the man sitting over there."

"Do you know his name?"

"Yes. Robert Garrett." As if to further prove she knew who he was, Tessa gestured to him with a wave of her hand. Her eyes didn't leave the attorney's. Jane swiveled around to face the jury.

"Let the record show that the witness has identified Robert Garrett by appearance and name." She refocused her attention on Tessa and began her questions.

"Do you know why he took you?"

At this question, Tessa stalled. Honestly, no she didn't. For some reason he targeted her, above all the other girls in this city. But, she did know why he wanted a girl-any girl- to lock up in that basement.

"I don't know why he chose me in particular, but yes. I do know why he took me."

"Why?"

This time, the teenager shifted her gaze from the poised woman to her former captor. "He wanted me to be his slave." She hoped he could see how much she hated him in her eyes.

Jane titled her head as if the statement was too vague to comprehend. "And what exactly does being a slave entail?"

"Anything he wanted you to do."

"Including sexual acts?"

A deep breath invaded her lungs and escaped before she answered. "Yes. Against my will."

Jane nodded as she moved to stand in the middle of the court room. "So you're saying that Mr. Garrett raped you?"

"Yes, he did. Multiple times during the four months he held me."

Tessa straightened the end of her dress that cascaded over her crossed legs as her cheeks flamed. She could feel her mother and father's burning gazes on her, but she refused to look at them.

"Do you know if he did this to other girls?"

Another pause before she answered. "Yes. I was told that I was the 20th girl he'd stolen."

"And who gave this information?"

"His first victim. She was still alive- amazingly- when I arrived."

"What is her name?"

Tessa blinked. "Was. What was her name. She's dead. He killed her when we escaped. For her name, well she had a few. _He_ called her Chloe, but I called her Violet. Her real name was Samantha Rogers."

"Why did he call her Chloe?"

"I don't know. I guess he did it to make her forget who she really was."

"Objection! Speculation. How could Ms. Shepherd have any idea about why the girl was called what?"

Robert had finally spoken up. He'd also gotten to his feet, and stood with his hands pressed flat on the table. His attention was focused on the judge, waiting for her ruling. Jane looked mildly surprised that he'd spoken, but a smirk soon swept across her face.

"Well, I suppose we could just ask you and cut out the middle man."

Robert opened his mouth to retaliate, but the judge held up her hand. "Enough. This is a courtroom, not a playground. The objection is overruled," Judge Fray turned towards Tessa and dipped her head. "You may continue, Tessa."

"He gave me a new name, too. Actually, I chose it."

"What name did you choose?"

Tessa grimaced as the name left her mouth, each syllable tasting of dirty pennies. "Jenny. I chose it because I didn't like the name before, so it wouldn't matter to hear him say it."

"Why did you have to choose a new name in the first place?"

Again, a sour taste coated her tongue. "He said… things to me and about me. It hurt less if he didn't use your real name. It detached you from it."

"Did that help with the terrible ordeal you went through? To detach yourself from it?"

"Well, yes. Disconnecting from it meant that you didn't really feel it or know what was happening. If I hadn't learned how to help myself, I probably would have killed myself long before I came home."

Jane came to a standstill in front of the witness stand. Her eyes were full of compassion and sympathy as she swung her gaze from the teenager to the jury. "Thank you for your honesty, Tessa."

Tessa pursed her lips and nodded, knowing what came next. As the attorney began to stalk back to her table, high heels clacking on the wooden floor, she glanced at Robert.

"Your witness, Mr. Garrett."

With a wicked smirk, Robert stood and casually buttoned his suit. It fit his broad shoulders too tightly, almost comically. His beady eyes never left Tessa's and she kept her green eyes steady on his.

"Hello, Tessa. How are you doing? You need a break? Today must be hard for you."

Tessa wrinkled her nose as if an unpleasant odor had wafted past her nose. She sneered at him.

"Don't pretend like you actually care about me."

The large man had the nerve to look offended. "But I do. I loved you from the moment I saw you. We were meant to be."

"Going for the insanity defense, are we?"

He chuckled softly and leaned against the stand. His black eyes bore into hers without a word passing between them. Tessa shrunk back in her seat as his minty yet somehow still putrid breath hit her face. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her father get to his feet at his close proximity to his daughter, but Jane beat him to it.

"Objection your honor! There is no need for Mr. Garrett to be so close to Tessa. That is witness intimidation."

Judge Fray nodded and motioned for the man to back away from Tessa. "Yes. Back off, Mr. Garrett. You representing yourself is a privilege that I will happily take away if you abuse it. This is your only warning."

Robert did as he was ordered, and backed away from Tessa with his hands held up innocently. He flashed the judge an impish grin that made her lip curl in disgust. She knew what he was, and she did not enjoy having him in her courtroom.

"Tessa, you said that you were held captive by me."

"That's correct, both that I said that and it's true."

Robert raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders. "But I'm afraid it isn't true. Did you know that the front door was always unlocked?"

Tessa glanced at Jane uncertainly. " _That_ door might have been unlocked, but the basement wasn't, nor was the chain you had locked around my ankle. I'm pretty sure that means held captive."

"You know, today would go a lot smoother if you would be straight forward and keep your smartass comments to yourself."

"Today would go a lot smoother if I was at school rather than in a courtroom looking at you."

Judge Fray snickered into her hand, but sat up straighter as people turned to look at her.

"Tessa, please answer the questions directly." She gazed at Tessa through the glasses balanced on the tip of her nose. While her tone was firm, her hazel eyes told a different story. Tessa nodded, attempting to hide the smirk that sprouted across her cheeks.

"Yes, your honor. I'm sorry." Her attention turned back to the monster slash lawyer that stood in front of her.

"Tessa, you also testified that that I forced you to have sex multiple times against your will. This is also untrue."

Tessa lifted her right brow, waiting for a question, but biting back the comment dancing on her tongue.

"I recall you actually willingly coming up the stairs with me and to the bedroom. Is that not what happened? Did you ever say no?"

The teen cleared her throat before she answered. "No it isn't. You kept me locked in a basement, completely dependent on you for food, water, everything. Not once did I want to have sex with you; I never wanted to touch you. You forced me. You beat me if I didn't. I didn't have a choice. So, no. I never vocally protested you violating me, but you knew I didn't want it."

"Do you think I can read minds?"

Tessa sat back in her chair, crossing her arms across her chest. "No, but have you looked in a mirror? The only way any woman would touch you would be if you held her life over her head."

Robert shook his head, and looked to the judge. "Your Honor, you've asked the witness to keep her comments to herself and she hasn't complied. Do I have permission to treat her like a hostile witness?"

Jane jumped to her feet, ready to protest. Judge Fray held up her hand as if she expected her to. Her eyes drifted over Tessa, taking in her now huge, terrified eyes and the way her hands had clasped together. If it had been any other witness, and any other case, she would have granted him permission. The witness had been previously warned about her comments, and she'd continued to make them. She'd broken the order she'd been given. But this teenager sitting on her left was not a hostile witness. She was a child trapped in a situation much too big for her. She was trying to defend herself against the man who had tortured her months in the only way she could. Fray knew exactly what this beast of a man was trying to do; he was trying to invoke and awaken the terror and control he had over her all those months ago. It wasn't going to happen in her courtroom.

"No, you do not. Let's not forget here today that Ms. Shepherd is a minor. I will ask you to keep your questions in line."

Robert pouted for a moment, just staring at the judge. He snapped back to reality and looked again towards Tessa.

"How did you get food while you were held captive by me as you claim?"

Sometimes you would give me and Vi-Samantha old fast food, but more often than not you would force the both of us to steal from nearby campers."

The dark haired man made his eyes go wide with surprise. "You stole? From innocent people?"

"You made me."

"How did I make you?"

Tessa quirked a brow. "You don't remember? You told us- me specifically- that if I didn't bring back a good haul I'd regret it. That was the first time."

"Oh, yes. I remember that now. Thank you for jogging my memory along. I believe that was also the day you gave me this." Walking back to his chair quickly, Robert unbuttoned his jacket and threw it down. He moved back towards the jury box while he rolled up his left sleeve. A scar so pale it was almost impossible to see snaked its way down his forearm from his elbow and ended around his wrist. He moved back and forth in front of the jury, making sure they all got a good look at it. Robert turned back to Tessa, scar still revealed.

"Do you remember doing this to me, Tessa? You attacked me."

Tessa shifted in her seat. "Yes, I remember that. It was one of the best moments of my life. I gave you a fraction of the pain that you had given me."

"So you admit that you did this, then? You admit that you attacked with a knife? How did you get that knife?"

The young girl cleared her throat and tangled her fingers in the chain of her necklace. "It was given to me from a camper. Samantha told them that we were sisters on an impromptu camping trip and that we'd forgotten most of our supplies. They gave us some of their extra supplies, as well as a knife for protection. That is what I used it for."

"No, you used it to attack me unprovoked."

"It's quite interesting to see just how stupid you think the jury is. Do you really think that they're buying that _I'm_ the monster here? That the small, skittish teenage girl victimized the big, bad man? I used the knife to keep you from raping me yet again, and it worked."

Tessa was on her feet, her last nerve frayed to the point of breaking. From her right, she could Judge Fray banging her gavel, calling for order, but it was all background noise. She'd had enough of this crap. She was tired of having to answering to him.

"You are not the only one with scars. There are six scars all over my abdomen that almost took my life. There are scars covering me all over internally that will always be there. They are all from you. Do not hunt for pity that you're never going to find," She jetted her eyes from Robert's snarling smile to Jane's watchful gaze. "I really need to stop. Please."

Jane nodded and pushed her chair back. "Can we recess for lunch, your Honor? My client has been through the ringer this morning."

Judge Fray nodded. "That sounds like a good idea. We'll recess for one hour. I will see all of you back at one."

Tessa waited until two officers had a firm hold on Robert's arms before she dashed off the stand and out of the courtroom. Just as she reached the door, she heard her name. Instinctively, her steps faltered. Her mother. Of course. She stopped and made eye contact with the red head and noticed that she was still trying to get out of her seat, Derek and Amelia both helping. Tessa waited patiently outside and felt a surge of guilt at the look of worry on her mother's face. She was worried Tessa had taken off again. When she finally saw her daughter, Addison slumped in relief. She quickly made her way to her daughter's side and reached out to brush her hair out of her face. Her hand lingered, and cupped the teenager's cheek.

"Are you okay, Tess?" the question, once so simple, was now loaded. Tessa nodded as a deep breath filtered some of the crowding thoughts in her head out. Addison didn't look like she believed her, but she rarely did. It's not like Tessa would actually tell anyone if she wasn't okay. Whether she knew it or not, Tessa had tears shining in her eyes, threatening to fall down her cheeks. The sight of her daughter near tears made a sharp dagger dig its way into her heart. Right now, she hated the man that had spent most of the morning tormenting her child more than anything in this world. She would do anything to end him. But it was sadly out of her hands. He'd delayed the trial for weeks on end, trying to manipulate the situation in his own favor. It didn't start until the last week of January, much to everyone's dismay. He had tried different tactics that had made the process that much longer. He was using a psych defense, but Ms. Carmichael had little faith in it. The jury would see right through it. Tessa suddenly leaning against her chest brought Addison screeching back into the present. Her arms came up to secure Tessa against her, and with her whole heart she wished that holding her daughter close would make all of the pain weighing down her tired little heart go away.

* * *

 _Addison settled herself onto the bed with some difficultly. Her eight month pregnant belly often got in the way, no matter what she was doing. One benefit to it- besides housing her child safely- was that she could balance snacks onto it, which was what she was attempting to achieve as her young husband padded into the bedroom. He chuckled softly as he watched his wife battle with their unborn daughter as she knocked the bowl her mother had balanced on top of her as if it were a game. Addison shot him a glare as his laughter grew._

" _It's not funny, Derek. I'm hungry, and she currently doesn't want me to eat."_

 _Derek laid down next to the red head and ran his fingers across her belly, making their daughter react to his hand instead of the bowl._

" _I don't think it's personal, Addie. Rosie's just playing." Addison wrinkled her nose at the name her dark haired husband tried to sneak in._

" _Rosie?"_

" _Yeah. There's a really good chance she'll have red hair, besides, Rosie Shepherd? It's cute."_

" _Our daughter will not be a red headed cliché. I will not have it, and neither will Bizzy."_

 _Derek scoffed. "Well, it's a good thing we don't have to run the name of our child past your mother then, isn't it?"_

 _Addison munched on the pretzels that she finally got to balance. "No Rosie. Ellie?"_

" _Ellie? Not bad. Put that in the maybe pile. You know, if we really wanted to please your mother- and mine- we could-"_

" _We are not naming our baby after our mothers. First of all, Beatrice Carolyn sounds like a little old lady. Second of all, no good nicknames could be made from Beatrice. Thirdly, just no. We will not name our child to appease our mothers for getting married and having a baby so young. They can just deal with it."_

 _Addison was vehement on not naming their daughter after anyone in the family. As soon as they found out it was girl and they started tossing names back and forth, she declared that their beautiful baby girl would be her own person without any ties to anyone else. That was until Derek said that he wanted her to have the middle name Adrianne. Addison was against it of course, saying that it was weird to name a daughter after her mother, but Derek insisted. He'd argued that it would go with any first name they picked and had a good meaning behind it. Now, the baby was due in less than a month, and she only had a middle name._

 _Addison bit her lip as she thought of the name she was holding back. Her hands caressed her belly and the now quiet baby within. Tessa. It just fit. She knew it. When she was a little girl and imagined having a daughter one day, her name never stuck. Nothing ever sounded right for long, but Tessa had been in her mind for months now, since the sonogram showed a baby girl in her immediate future. That was the name of her daughter, she was sure of it. There were so many things she hoped for the baby growing within her, so many dreams. She hadn't even met her baby yet, and she already was wrapped around her little finger. Tessa. She hadn't told her husband yet, afraid he wouldn't like it, but maybe he would…_

 _The mother to be cleared her throat to catch her handsome husband's attention. "What about Tessa?"_

 _His breathtaking blue eyes that still made her dizzy flashed up to hers from where his fingers traced lazy eights on her swollen belly. "Tessa?"_

" _Yeah, it's really pretty. I really like it."_

" _Tessa." He let the name roll around his mouth and off his tongue, considering it. Even though Addison was playing it off like it was just some random name she picked out of a baby book, he could see the smile in her eyes. She really wanted this name. It sounded a little different, modern, but he knew it was old fashioned. One really fun thing about picking baby names was learning the meaning behind them, but he hadn't gotten to 'T' yet. He was only on 'I'._

" _I like it, but maybe we should wait until she's born to see if it really fits her. I still like Emily. We'll try them on for size when we finally see her."_

 _Addison nodded and reached for her husband's hand. "Okay. We'll wait. Emily vs. Tessa. Come up here by me; I'm cold."_

 _Derek pressed a kiss to where he assumed his daughter's head was (unfortunately, it was her butt) and gently pulled his two girls into his arms. He loved how his wife looked pregnant. Of course she was beautiful no matter what, but now, almost ready to have their baby, she was glowing. It made her normally sharp features soft and sweet. And no matter how many times she exclaimed she was fat, he couldn't help but think she had never looked better. She always seemed a little too thin to him anyway._

" _Do you know how perfect you look right now?"_

 _Addison scoffed and blushed. "Yeah, right. I didn't wash my hair today, and I've been wearing tee shirts and pajama pants for weeks. Not to mention that I could be compared to a whale."_

 _Derek chuckled. "Didn't the doctor say that you could actually be a bit bigger? That the baby would probably be a bit small because of how tiny you are? You, Addie, are perfect."_

 _A blush almost as red as her hair crept across her cheeks. "You have to say that because I'm having your baby, but I appreciate it none the less."_

 _Her fingers pressed gently against the baby's fist, and she couldn't wait to hold her daughter's hand. She couldn't wait to kiss her cheeks, smell her head, get to know her and watch her grow. She couldn't wait to love her daughter with all her heart._

" _Derek, promise me something."_

" _Anything."_

 _Addison bit her lip and looked at her husband. "Promise me that we'll always be there for our baby. Promise me that nothing will get between us and hurt her in any way. Promise that we'll never treat her like our parents treated us."_

 _Her words made the dark haired man sit up and look at her with soft eyes. He gently took her hand and held it between his own._

" _Addison, I promise you all of that and more. I'll never intentionally hurt you or our daughter; I will always be there for both of you. I'll protect her with my life, and I know you will too. Our daughter will never be alone. She'll always have us."_

 _Addison felt tears build in her eyes as she stared at Derek. He released her hand to reach up and wipe the tear that fell down her cheek away tenderly._

" _Addie, where is all of this coming from?"_

" _I- I don't know. I just realized that we don't know what life is going to be like for the baby. It's completely unknown and that is terrifying. What if she has some horrible birth defect we don't know about yet, and she'll need help her entire life?"_

" _Then we'll deal with it and love her no matter what. Addie, this is our baby. Our baby. Think about how much you love her right now, and you haven't even met her yet. Do you think you won't love her even more after you hold her?"_

 _Tears were actively falling down her cheeks now. "No, I will. I know it. I'm just scared. I want to protect her from everything and right now I can. But after she's born, I can't. She'll be hurt by life, by boys, by everything. I just want to keep her here forever so she's always safe."_

 _Derek sighed, and looked down at her belly. "Well, as much as we would both like that, we can't. We could always lock her in a tower to keep her safe from the world. And boys won't be an issue. They'll have to go through me, and they won't make it."_

" _I love you, Addie. Thank you for giving me this baby."_

" _I love you too, Derek. Thank you for giving me Tessa."_

" _We. Are. Waiting."_

* * *

 **Finally, court is in session! i want to divide the testimonies and sentencing in two or three chapters, so we'll be here for a while! the next few should be extremely long chapters, so it might take some time to get them out. i hope you liked this chapter and please review!  
**


	27. The Whole Truth

It felt different. Being on the opposite side of the courtroom felt different. Tessa sat next to Ms. Carmichael, watching her therapist sit patiently on the witness stand. She made eye contact with Tessa, and gave her a brief, reassuring nod. Ms. Carmichael finally stood and began with a small smile directed at Dr. Taylor.

"Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be here, Dr. Taylor."

The proper woman smiled. "Of course. I'd do anything to help Tessa."

"Yes, she is a remarkable young woman. How long has Tessa been under your care?"

"Since she returned, so around six months now. She has improved remarkably from her first week in the hospital."

"What exactly do you treat Tessa for?"

"Well, with victims of any kind of trauma, anxiety is bound to be a result. Tessa suffers from severe anxiety, panic attacks, and nightmares. The panic attacks have subsided somewhat after we tried some different techniques and so have the nightmares."

"All of these are direct results after Tessa's traumatic summer?"

Dr. Taylor nodded. "Yes."

Ms. Carmichael leaned against the jury box. "What can you tell us about Tessa's character, Dr. Taylor?"

"Tessa is a very special girl. She has an almost addiction to knowledge, and loves school. She has a very protective nature about her, and is especially close to her mother and aunt. She is very defensive of her anxiety symptoms and tries to hide them. She aspires to be a behavioral analyst for the FBI when she grows up to help catch people like Mr. Garrett over there."

Jane instinctively glanced over at the man sitting at the defense table, expecting him to explode out of the chair with an objection. Much to her surprise, he looked almost bored at the doctor's testimony. She turned back to her witness with an internal shrug and released her last question.

"In your professional opinion, do you think Tessa will recover mentally and emotionally from all of this?"

Dr. Taylor's calm brown eyes once again found her patient's. "Yes, she will. Tessa will probably always suffer from anxiety- then again, it's hard to find a teenager around who doesn't- and will need therapy for years. Well, maybe not years. She's a bit of an over achiever." Her warm smile made Tessa's cloudy brain brighten for a moment.

"Thank you for your testimony, Dr. Taylor." Ms. Carmichael made her way back and sat down next to Tessa. She was befuddled when Robert still didn't make a move to get up. Even the judge herself looked puzzled.

"Mr. Garrett? Are you waiting on something in particular?"

As if awakening for the first time, Robert snapped to attention and reddened slightly as he realized that the entire courtroom was staring at him. His eyes flicked towards Dr. Taylor still sitting expectantly on the witness stand.

"Uh, no your Honor. I have no questions for this witness."

Judge Fray turned slightly in her oversized chair towards Dr. Taylor. "You may step down now, Dr. Taylor," She looked at the ADA sitting across from her. "Ms. Carmichael, you may call your next witness."

Ms. Carmichael nodded and called out, "The people call Dr. Meredith Grey to the stand."

Meredith sucked in a breath as she stood from her spot next to Amelia. She kept her blue eyes locked straight ahead on her destination. As she passed by Robert, her upper lip curled up in disgust. The thought of this revolting man touching the sweet girl she watched grow made her stomach turn. His filthy hands, covered in the blood of nineteen innocent girls, should've never left a mark on Tessa's skin. They had though, unfortunately; that was one of the hardest surgeries of her life. She was sworn in and sat quietly with her legs crossed as she waited to be questioned.

"Dr. Grey, you were the surgeon that saved Tessa's life, is that correct?"

"Well, yes. But I wasn't the only one there."

Jane nodded understandingly. "Could please tell the court what happened that day? Starting with the incoming call from life flight?"

"Yes. I was paged to the OR with Dr. Pierce. We were told that two young girls had been found in a national park with stab wounds. Dr. Hunt came in with the patient and went to scrub in. Just as the patient was about to go under, her heart stopped. I began CPR and resuscitated her. Dr. Hunt came in and ordered her to be put under as quick as possible. I realized belatedly that her features- somewhat distorted from her injuries- looked familiar. I checked her eyes and realized who she was."

Jane widened her eyes in shock as if this was the first time she heard the tale. "How remarkable. How did you proceed with such a delicate case?"

Meredith took another deep breath, memories from that stressful, wonderful day hitting her all over again.

"I went to Dr. Bailey's OR to inform her of the situation. I asked for resident Jo Wilson to stand guard outside of my OR to make sure none of the Shepherds came in. As soon as I was done with the surgery and had escorted Tessa to the ICU, I went to Chief Webber's office. Dr. Montgomery- Shepherd was in there already, demanding to know why she wasn't being let in to the OR. The chief the proceeded to tell both Dr. Montgomery Shepherd and Dr. Shepherd that their daughter was home."

Ms. Carmichael smiled warmly as she finished. "That memory must mean a lot to you considering how close you are to Tessa. You saved her life and brought her home."

Meredith nodded and glanced at Tessa. The teen was biting her lips and fidgeting. She was worried because she knew what came after these questions. She knew that his came next, and that sensitive kid was worried about him talking to her. Ms. Carmichael thanked her and sat back down. Robert waited for a moment then got to his feet. He unbuttoned his jacket and slipped it off his broad shoulders.

"Dr. Grey, you claim to have known Tessa since she was twelve years old and that she is a part of your family. Don't you think that made it a little controversial that you operated on her? Isn't it against hospital policy for family members to be operated on by family members?"

"That only pertains to blood relatives or spouse. Tessa isn't related to me by blood nor is she my wife."

Robert chuckled without humor. "I see where Tessa gets her smart mouth from. Could you explain to me how you became so close to Tessa and her family?"

Meredith looked down at her clasped hands. "I met the Shepherds around four years ago. I met Dr. Shepherd before I met his wife and daughter. He showed up one day in the hospital as our head of neuro with a kid in tow."

"And how close did you grow to Dr. Shepherd?"

Meredith's cheeks pinked slightly. She blatantly avoided Tessa's gaze. "We began a relationship. That was before I knew he was married."

"A relationship, huh? To what extent?"

"What do you mean?" She looked afraid for clarification.

"Was it casual, serious, or purely physical?"

"Objection! Relevance?"

Robert glanced at Judge Fray. "The relationship with the victim's family and the victim herself."

Judge Fray raised her eyebrow. "I'll allow it, but one toe over the line, Mr. Garrett…" She let her words trail off, her silence saying more than she ever could.

"Dr. Grey, please answer the question."

"It was serious. We were together for two months. I had just adopted my daughter and I thought I found her a father. That idea ended quickly after I realized he was married with a child."

"Did he keep Tessa hidden from you?"

"No, not exactly. I didn't meet her for about a month, but we talked about our children all the time. I didn't introduce him to my daughter either."

"How did Tessa react when you first met her?"

A fond, involuntary smile grew on her face. "She was a typical teenager. Moody, sarcastic, and had her phone glued to her hand. She mentioned her mother a lot, but it was my understanding that her parents were divorced."

"So you did know that Dr. Montgomery Shepherd existed?"

"Yes. But by the way Dr. Shepherd talked about her, I assumed they were divorced. He didn't even wear a ring. I didn't know that he was still married until Addison showed up. I didn't see much of Tessa after that. It wasn't until Dr. Shepherd's younger sister joined our hospital a year and half later that we grew closer again."

"And how did that happen?" Robert looked as if he'd discovered gold.

"Both of her parents were away in New York, working on a case. Her aunt couldn't watch her, and a thirteen year old can't really stay home by herself for a week. They asked me to watch her for them. Tessa stayed at my house and we got along really well. She helped me take care of my two year old at the time and the two became very close."

"If you had to name your relationship, what would it be classified as?"

Meredith frowned at the particular question, but gave the answer some thought. "I guess aunt and niece. I've never really thought about it."

"Thank you, Dr. Grey."

Robert stalked back to his table with a frown. Judge Fray yawned covertly into her hand. Her fingers wrapped around her trusty gavel and she thumped it gently on her desk.

"I think that's enough for today, everyone. We will reconvene tomorrow at eight." With that, she disembarked from her stand and disappeared with a swoosh of her black robe into her chambers.

Tessa jumped up from her seat and moved passed the throng of people to meet Meredith. Tessa's hands locked onto Meredith's forearms and met her eyes dead on.

"Are you okay?" the words burst from her mouth, almost tripping over each other. She'd been waiting ask since Robert began to speak. Meredith smiled reassuringly and rubbed her shoulders.

"I'm okay, Tessa. It's all right. Today's all over. We can all go home and get some rest. I for one can't wait to go home and see my girl." The blonde pulled Tessa in for a hug and dropped a kiss on her temple.

"You did really good today, Tess. I'm proud."

Tessa smiled gratefully and let Meredith pass by. The teen turned around and searched for her family. She spotted a familiar head of red hair from across the courtroom standing near the doorway.

The courtroom had almost emptied but a crowd of people still stood in the way. She was just about to pass back by the prosecutor's table when she heard her name being called from a mouth that had no right to say it. Robert stood there being put back into his handcuffs. He was smirking at her, nothing new, but his eyes were unreadable.

"You looked good today, doll. I'm proud."

Tessa sneered and backed up a step. "And I don't care what the hell you think."

She weaved back through the remaining people and to her family. Anxiety was written all over Addison's face, and her hands fidgeted as if she ached to touch her daughter somehow. Tessa leaned forward and grasped her mother's hand tightly. Derek's hand came up to cup her shoulder.

"Ready to go home, sweetheart?"

Tessa nodded, and allowed her parents to lock their arms around her shoulders to lead her out of the court house. If it was possible, more reporters lined the steps leading up to the doors and all mobbed around the Shepherds as they made their way to their car. Tessa frowned and swatted them away the best she could. She couldn't wait to get home. The teen let herself fall into the backseat of the car. Derek made sure Addison was safely in the care before darting across the front and sliding in himself.

The drive home was silent because there was nothing that any of them could say. Tessa couldn't wait to strip off her clothes and shower the entire day off her skin. She wanted to scrub his eyes off her body. As soon as the car came to a stop, Tessa slipped out and ran to the front door. Addison followed behind her quickly with the keys and her daughter burst through the door and up the stairs as soon as it opened. Addison watched with a sigh as her daughter disappeared up the stairs. She heard her husband come in behind her. His fingers trailed against her back as he brushed past her.

"You feeling okay, Ad?"

Mutely, the red head nodded as she followed him into the living room. "Are you hungry? I could call in some Chinese food."

This time, she spoke. "Yeah, that'd be good. Tessa will want-"

Derek cut her off with a smile. "I know, Ad. I know what you want as well. I've ordered dinner for us before."

Addison smiled wanly at him. "I know. I'm sorry, I'm just tired. I think I'm going to go change."

Her husband acknowledged that he heard her and she moved to go upstairs. She paused at the top of the stairs, and heard the familiar sound of music blaring from the bathroom her daughter now occupied. Addison shook her head and smiled fondly as she continued on to her bedroom. She stopped at the dresser and pulled out a pair pajama pants as well as one of Derek's old tee shirts, her favorite attire. The reflection in the bathroom mirror didn't look like her. The designer dress that clung beautifully to her bump and hair blown out perfectly looked like her. But, the haunted, worried look in her eyes wasn't her. Addison was familiar with worry; it was part of her job. But, whatever she worried about was usually in her control. Nothing about the situation she and her family were in was in her control. Her daughter had looked so small on the witness stand, and she only grew tinier when that _man_ got closer to her. Her girl, her baby girl, needed to be protected and all she could do was cling to her husband's hand. Derek's entire body had tensed when Robert leaned against the stand, only a few inches away from their daughter. She'd had to hold tightly to his arm to keep him from running up there and killing him. Addison hummed as she felt her youngest give her a swift kick, as if to remind her that the day was over with. A smile grew on her face as she rubbed circles on her baby's head.

"At least for now everything's good for you huh, little one?"

From down the hall, Addison heard the sound of her daughter emerging from the bathroom. She stuck her head out of the master bedroom to see Tessa walk down the hall to her room, a cloud of steam following behind her visible from the bathroom light. Her silhouette was almost comical with her hair twisted high on her head in a towel and the steam willowing around her like mist.

Tessa glanced down the hall to see her mother gently rubbing across her belly, a faraway, dazed look on her face. She snapped out of it and immediately smiled at the sight of her teenager approaching her.

"Hey, baby. You feel better?"

Tessa smiled without it reaching her eyes. She shuffled forward again to nuzzle into her mother's warm embrace. Addison rubbed her back comfortingly and pressed a kiss to the top of her dark hair.

"I bet you're hungry. You hardly ate a bite at lunch. Dad's downstairs ordering Chinese. Let's go keep him company."

Again, Tessa stayed silent. Her lack of words was starting to concern the red head; she really hadn't spoken all afternoon. The mother kept her arm around the teen's shoulders as they went downstairs. As they passed back by Tessa's bedroom, she whipped the towel off her head to toss in on her bed. With her center of gravity now completely gone, Addison kept one hand locked around the banister as they carefully walked down the stairs. Derek glanced up and grinned as he saw them approach.

"There are my girls. I'd wondered where you two had gone. The food should be here in about 15 minutes," He paused as he took in his wife and daughter's appearances. They both looked exhausted, but Tessa looked completely wrecked. He'd bet that she hardly got a wink of sleep last night, and today had been taxing on her to the extreme. Her wet head leaned against Addison's shoulder, looking pretty pathetic. Addison wasn't much better off. Worry of her daughter made dark circles mar her skin, and the normally vivid green orbs were dull. Without a second thought, Derek began to usher them into the living to settle them on the couch. He threw a soft throw blanket across them and ignored their questioning looks.

"You guys are exhausted. I just want you two to relax for the rest of the night. I'll wait on you hand and foot, get whatever you need."

His wonderfully stubborn wife began to protest. "No, Der. It's not necessary, I'm fine."

But, of course, he doesn't listen. "I know you're not. You've both had a long day, and I want to make sure my girls are healthy." Tessa didn't make a sound, but instead snuggled down under the throw and leaned her head against her mother's shoulder. Her green eyes were blood shot and the heaviness of the day made her whole body sag. The door bell rang and her father hurried to get the door. As soon as he disappeared to answer the door, Addison turned her full attention to the tired brunette on her right.

"Tessa, I know you probably don't feel like talking, but I need you to say something, baby. Say anything," She stopped, watching her daughter's face intently. "You're really starting to worry me, sweetheart."

Addison knew that playing the worried mom card on her protective, guilt ridden daughter was unfair, but Tessa _needed_ to speak. Tessa glanced up at her, irritation making her cheeks flush. She licked her lips, and sighed with all the breath in her body pushing it out.

"I'm fine."

Addison snorted. "The first thing you say in five hours is a lie?"

Tessa furrowed her brow. "No it's not. I am fine."

The red head shook her head but was interrupted from saying her protests by her husband entering with a breakfast tray loaded down with takeout boxes and bottles of water. With a warm, loving smile Derek sat the tray across the laps of his wife and daughter.

"Eat up, guys. I ordered Kung po chicken for you Ad, and general tso's chicken for you, Tess."

Tessa smiled up at him, and grabbed the little white container to dig in. Addison shifted closer to Tessa and patted the spot next to her. Derek nodded and grabbed his own food from the tray. He tucked himself next to his favorite red head, and leaned over to press a kiss to her temple.

"Eat your food, Addie. You're looking awfully pale," At his words, Tessa glanced up at her mother with concern dancing in her eyes. Her dad was right. Living in Seattle, Addison never got tan; her skin stayed a flawless alabaster all year long. Now, a sickly pale complexion had taken over. At the worry plastered on her family's faces made her snatch up her food and chopsticks only to shovel the chicken into her mouth.

With her mouth still full and a roll of her eyes, Addison said, "I'm fine, guys. Stop looking at me like I'm about to break. And Tessa Adrianne, if you don't start eating food, I'm going to start cooking more."

That was enough of a threat for Tessa, for she began to eat quickly. Both chuckling softly, her parents fell into a comfortable routine of silence and chewing. Tessa suddenly stopped chewing, a thought striking her like a blow.

"Ella."

Addison turned towards her slightly. "Hmm?"

Tessa looked up at her, an excited smile lighting up her face. "For the baby."

The red head gazed up at her husband, her eyes shining. Their oldest daughter naming their youngest was perfect, and the name she chose was perfect. Derek nodded in agreement.

"It's perfect."

* * *

" _Tessa, I want you to meet someone really important, okay? Can you be nice for me?"_

 _The teenager rolled her eyes and snorted. "I'm not a baby, Dad. I have manners."_

 _Her green eyes wandered back down to the phone in her palm. She was reading the last text her mother had sent to her. It had been a few days since they'd last spoken. She missed her. Her father's hand was on the middle of her back, gently ushering her through the halls of this unfamiliar hospital. She'd yet to learn the halls, and frankly didn't see any reason to. Her dad was going to come to his senses and realize that they belonged in New York. She belonged in New York._

 _Derek's blue eyes searched the crowded nurse's desk for that familiar head of dirty blonde hair whipped up in a messy bun and wrinkled blue scrubs. There she was. Meredith._

 _Her name burst from his mouth and he loved the way it sounded. Her sharp blue eyes flew up to meet his, and an easy smile blossomed on her face. When she spotted the sullen teenager standing next to him, the smile faltered for a moment, but she quickly slipped back into place. Meredith slammed the chart she had been previously writing in shut, and brushed past Cristina with a squeeze of her shoulder. The smile turned into an involuntary grimace as she approached her boyfriend and his daughter._

" _Hey, Derek. Who's this cutie pie?"_

 _Tessa tried to covertly roll her eyes, but Meredith caught it anyway. The girl was right; that was cheesy. Derek smiled at both of them, and moved so he could wrap Meredith under his arm too._

" _Can we talk somewhere else?"_

 _Meredith nodded, and the trio made their way to the courtyard. The dreamy surgeon pulled up a chair between the two girls and looked at both of them expectantly. Tessa just stared at him, blatantly wondering why she was sitting across from a pretty stranger. Derek turned towards his daughter, and swallowed hard._

" _So, Tessa, I'd like you to meet Meredith. Meredith, this is Tessa. She's my best girl."_

 _Meredith smiled at the teenager and stuck out her hand. "It's really nice to meet you, Tessa. I've heard so many wonderful things."_

 _Tessa shook her hand politely, but that was the extent of her courtesy. "Hi." Her voice was flat and completely uninterested._

 _Derek wanted to admonish his daughter for her tone, but embarrassing her wouldn't make this awkward situation go any smoother._

" _Tessa, Meredith just adopted a little girl. Her name is Zola. Maybe you could baby-sit sometime. It would be good for you."_

 _The teen shrugged. "If you need me to, I guess I can." Questions began to grow in her mind. Why would it be good for her to baby-sit this woman's new baby? She'd never baby-sat in her life. Derek cleared his throat and moved to stand. The action made both Tessa's and Meredith's eyes widen in panic._

" _I'm just going to get some coffee. Either of you want a cup?"_

 _Tessa nodded eagerly. "Iced vanilla latte, please."_

 _Meredith declined and the two of them were left alone. The blonde let down her hair only to put it back up again. Finally, the silence got to be too much._

" _What do you like to do? Do you play any sports?"_

 _Tessa nodded and a small smile grew on her face. "Yeah. I play soccer, and I really want to try out for the swim team this year."_

" _That sounds fun. Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?"_

 _The smile left her face. "No. everyone says I have to be a surgeon because of my family, but I really don't want to be. Don't get me wrong; I know I'm lucky to have so many successful surgeons in my family and have them as influences. I just want to break the trend, you know?"_

" _I know. I mean, I didn't. My mom was one of the best surgeons of her time, and I followed in her surgical footsteps. I even chose the same specialty. I didn't exactly break the mold. But, I knew I wanted to be a surgeon since I was a little girl. It's not like you have to choose right now anyway."_

 _Tessa nodded. "I know. And I do actually like medicine; I think the body's really interesting, I just don't want to cut it up."_

 _Meredith laughed at her phrasing. "Well, that's a good reason not to do it. You should do whatever your heart wants. I know that sounds cliché, but it's true," She trailed off as Tessa's attention fell to her lap again. A sad frown twisted her features._

" _What's wrong?"_

 _Tessa shrugged it off, but her eyes darted upward, and Meredith knew she was going to answer._

" _I really miss my mom."_

 _There was actual heartbreak laced in the teen's voice. Her shoulders slumped and without thinking, Meredith reached across the table to squeeze the girl's arm._

" _How long has it been since you've seen her?"_

" _About a month. We've never gone this long without seeing each other."_

 _Again, Meredith squeezed her arm. "My parents split when I was young, too. I don't even remember my dad from back then. He was just the guy who poured my cereal. I bet you'll see her more after everything's calmed down."_

 _Tessa nodded and gave her a weak smile. "Thanks, Meredith."_

 _Derek walked back to the table to see his girlfriend comforting his daughter. No tears had been shed, so the problem must no have been that bad. It was a good sign that Tessa allowed herself to be comforted by Meredith. He hoped that the two would be seeing a lot more of each other._

" _Everything okay over here?"_

 _Meredith looked up with a smile. "Oh, yeah. Everything's fine."_

* * *

 **short, i know! the next few chapters will be long and exciting. I thought Tessa meeting Meredith for the first time would be a cute little scene, so there it is! Hope you enjoyed!  
**


	28. Freedom

She'd memorized every single detail of this courtroom. She could walk it blind, and Tessa wanted nothing more to never see it again. Luckily, this was going to be the last time she sat in here. Two months after she first set foot in here, sentencing was finally going to happen. Justice was going to be served, or not. Today was the day her life either got better by miles or fell apart at her feet again. Tessa ran her palms over her skirt, drying the sweat that gathered. The jury sitting to her left looked bored to pieces, but they had for weeks now. The only time they ever perked up was when victim's family's spoke up for their lost daughters, or when evidence was paraded in front of their faces. Judge Fray looked done with this trial too, though she hid it a bit better. Her heavy hazel eyes landed on Tessa and she cleared her throat.

"Tessa, do you have anything else to add before the jury goes to deliberate?"

Keeping eye contact with the judge, Tessa got to her feet. She swept the courtroom and internally smiled at the familiar faces that supported her. Most of her hospital family smiled encouragingly back at her, and her mother even held up thumbs up. The teen sucked in a deep breath before turning to the jury.

"Eight months of my life have come and gone since Robert Garrett kidnapped me. At the end of today, he will either be in prison or he will walk free. I think everyone here knows what I would prefer to happen. That man kidnapping me was unarguably the worst thing that could've possibly happened to me. He took me away from my family and locked me in a dark basement to rape me and beat me. The memories I gained from those four months will never leave me; they will haunt me for the rest of my life. There will be nights where I cannot sleep because his face will be hiding behind my eyelids. In my opinion, he deserves to rot in a dirty cell, just as he would've had me do.

"He killed 19 innocent girls. He stole 20. Imagine if one of them was your daughter, your niece, or sister. Unfortunately, they couldn't give you their testimonies. I have to speak for all of us. He stole their voices, and the lives they should've had. His youngest victims were the babies he created with those stolen girls. He had five children with children, and he took their brand new little lives. So really, he's killed 've heard the things that he did to me; you saw the pictures of my injuries that he inflicted. But, you can't imagine how they felt. You can't imagine how they felt when he cut my body and violated it. Those horrors will forever be mine. He's ruined my life, but what he did to me improved me in some ways. It made me realize my inner strength, and it made me grow closer to my family. I'm going to be a big sister soon, and before all of this, I don't know if I would have been happy about it. Now, I can't wait to meet my new sibling. Remember as the fate of this man- and I use that term loosely- has changed my life mostly for the worst; I changed it from my experience for the better."

Tessa felt her cheeks flame as soon as the last syllable left her mouth. Some of the jurors nodded approvingly at her while a few glared across the courtroom at Robert. She didn't dare turn around to see the faces of her family. The teen sat quickly, turning to face her attorney. Jane was smiling widely at her, and leaned over to whisper, "That was great, Tessa. Very, very nice."

Judge Fray nodded at her once, and then turned her attention to the jury. "Members of the jury, you may now go and discuss what you've heard over the past weeks."

She hit her gavel once, and the twelve jurors got out of their chairs to be led to a quiet room. Judge Fray addressed the court again.

"Ladies and gentleman, we will take recess until the jury comes back in."

The courtroom erupted in a flurry of whispers and the scuffle of feet across the wooden floor. Tessa located her family through the crowd of people and hurried to her aunt. Amelia faced her with a grin, and opened her arms. Tessa flung herself into them, a relieved smile plastered on her face.

"Amelia! I didn't see you get here."

The small brunette shrugged her shoulders. "I know. But, I got here just in time to here what you said. You are absolutely amazing, Tessa, and I will tell you that every day until you believe me. You've handled this whole situation better than most adults could and I am so incredibly proud of you."

Tessa blushed once more, and squeezed her aunt again. Knowing that her favorite person was here made the day, no matter the outcome, a little bit better. Tessa leaned closer to her, and absorbed all the gossip from the hospital as if it was a normal day. Derek watched the two from a distance, fond smile lighting up his face. From his left, a sharp intake of breath caught his attention. Addison's lips were twisted into a frown and her hand moved to rub her back. The movement immediately caught his attention. He reached out to touch her face, but her palm was already up, warning him to stand back.

"I'm fine, just a little cramping," At his disbelieving stare, she added, "I promise, Der. I'm not going into labor; I think with all my credentials, I'd be able to tell."

Derek nodded, but his eyes flicked back over to her repeatedly as his baby sister and daughter approached. Addison had already schooled her face back into a proud smile for her daughter's sake. There was no need to add unnecessary worry on her already loaded down plate. The red head reached out to cup her daughter's face.

"Tessa, that was so good, sweetheart. Your words were very moving, and I know they were the icing on the cake for all the evidence."

The teen nodded and darted her eyes away, embarrassed. "Thanks, Mom. How's Ella doing?"

As if she knew the pain her mother just felt, Tessa's eyes narrowed to catch the lie that was about to slip through her mother's lips. Fortunately, Addison was an expert at lying, too.

"She's good. Moving around a lot. I think she knows that today is a big day."

Tessa smiled at the words. "Good." Her attention drifted towards the elegant woman striding up to her. Jane. A smile played on her lips, and she walked in her tall heels with a spring in her step.

"The jury's already back in. I must warn you, that's either a very good sign, or a very bad sign. But, in our case, I'm almost 98% certain that it is very, very good," She leaned in closer to her client and whispered conspiratorially, "I'd say 100%, but I don't want to seem cocky."

Tessa chuckled and allowed Jane to usher her back into the court room. The jury was just finding their seats again; conversing in low murmurs, as they shuffled around. Judge Fray was not yet seated in her leather throne, but Jane tugged Tessa back into the seat beside her. The teen twisted in her seat to make sure her family took their normal seats on the bench right behind her. They all smiled back at her reassuringly, and adoration for them made her heart swell.

As the judge came sweeping back into the court room, a heavy silence settled on the room. All eyes flitted to the cuffed man who was being led back to the defense table. The uniformed officers released him from his metal confines, and he took his seat quietly, as if he knew the fate that awaited him. Judge Fray looked over her glasses at the jury.

"Members of the jury, have you reached a verdict?"

A middle aged woman stood up with a slip of paper clutched in her hand. "Yes, your Honor, we have."

"On the multiple charges of kidnapping, we find the defendant guilty." A sharp intake of breath escaped Tessa as the verdict left her mouth.

"On the charges of rape, we find the defendant guilty." This time, a smile lit up her face.

"On the charges of murder, we find the defendant guilty." He was guilty. He was going to prison. She was free!

Tessa leapt up from her chair, and her heart leapt out of her chest. On instinct, she turned to see her family, expecting to see them in the same position. She didn't expect to see her mother, face pale, sliding down to pool on the floor. Derek was already reaching for her, and Amelia sank down with her. Blood stained the white maternity pants she was wearing.

The high she had been riding crashed in a haze of acrid smoke and Tessa quickly ran past the muted members of the court all moving to help Addison. The panicked teen slipped through them and landed next to her father. He was cupping his wife's pale face, patting her cheeks, trying to keep her conscious. Dimly, she heard her aunt yell for someone to call 9-1-1, but she wasn't paying attention. A hundred percent of her focus was pinpointed squarely on her mom. She'd never seen her so pale before, or so scared. Tessa reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly. Addison reacted to the pressure, and turned to look at her daughter. Silent reassurances bubbled at her lips, but she was too weak to make them out. Deep in the fog of pain and fear in her mind, the red head recalled what just happened. They won. _Tessa_ won. Her baby girl was free. Suddenly, she was being lifted onto something, and belatedly she realized it was a stretcher. Another hand locked onto hers. Derek. His lips pressed against her ears and he whispered, "Stay with me, Addie. We need you. Tessa needs you. Ella needs you. I need you. I love you."

Addison desperately wanted to reassure him that she wasn't going anywhere, that she needed them, too. Again the words wouldn't surface. And the darkness ebbing at the edge of her vision seemed so comforting. Then again, Derek's hand was too. She focused on that as she was loaded into the ambulance. A thought made it to the front of her brain, and she muttered, "Te-Tessa…"

Derek's face swam in front of her. "Addie, Tessa's fine. Amy's got her, and I've got you. You'll see her again after we make sure you're okay."

Tessa latched onto Amelia's sweater, her fingers tangling in the material. The petite brunette pressed her lips to her niece's temple.

"It's okay. She'll be okay. The hospital is only a few minutes away, and Dr. Anderson is the best. Your dad's got her and nothing's going happen. This is still a good day."

Tessa nodded, her eyes on the door her mother had just been rushed through. "Take me to the hospital, Amelia. Please."

Amelia nodded and began to usher her niece through the crowd of people. Tessa slipped through her grasp as another hand latched on to her. Amelia spun around to see the beast of a man holding Tessa close to his face, a sinister smile spreading across it. Tessa was recoiling in fear. Robert's hand, still cuffed, had somehow locked around her forearm.

"You may have won this, little Jenny, but I'm still here. I'll always be here."

Amelia yanked her away just as the guards monitoring Robert grabbed him firmly. Tessa felt Amelia's arm wrap around her shoulders protectively, but the teen was on fire. Anger seethed in chest and worry seared through her veins.

She got right back into his face and growled, "No, you won't. You are not anything to me anymore. You are a piece of gum stuck to the parking lot of a Wal-Mart. I won't waste another second of my life actively thinking about you, but you'll think of me. You'll think of me every time your new boyfriends pull you in for a cuddle like you used to with me."

Embarrassment made his face blush beat red, but anger made his fists crumple and he jerked as if to hit her. Amelia pulled her away again, anger and fear twisting her features. Her hand closed around her shoulder again, this time with a little more pressure as she ushered her down the marbled hall.

"What the hell was that?"

Tessa barely glanced at her as they made their way out back into the frenzy of questions and reporters.

"What was what?"

Amelia stared at her as if she had two heads. "Why did you say something to him? Why did you get so close to him?"

At the bottom of the courthouse steps, Tessa lost it. Her hands tore through her hair and nervous, panicked laughter burst from her throat.

"Because I could. Because I'm free. Because, he was in cuffs and still thought he could intimidate me. I wanted to prove him wrong. That's why. I am fine. I can handle it. I'm stronger than I look and I wanted to show him that."

A pair of ice blue eyes pinned her with an unreadable light shining in them. Tessa couldn't wait for her to analyze her.

"Mom is in the hospital, and we don't have time for you to figure out my labyrinth of a brain. Let's go."

The teen turned on her heel and headed towards her aunt's car. Amelia followed a few paces behind her. Her heart skipped a beat and she skidded to a stop as she saw the little six year old that Tessa used to be transform into a fierce, unbelievably strong young woman that she was before her eyes. Tessa leaned against the car, tapping her sandaled feet impatiently. Oh, yeah. She was definitely a teenager.

"C'mon, miss impatient. Let's go."

Tessa hoped into the car as soon as the beep sounded. Amelia followed suit, and it wasn't long until they were pulling into the hospital parking lot, though the nervous, tense silence added a half hour to the ride. Tessa burst into the ER, eyes already roving around, desperate to locate her mother. Doctors and nurses ran about, bustling from patient to patient, none of them a pregnant red head. Dr. Anderson jogged past, and before she could think Tessa followed her. The OB was tying a scrub cap around her blonde hair, already dressed in scrubs.

"Dr. Anderson!"

The woman froze at the sound of her name, and turned around to find her patient's daughter staring her down.

"Tessa. I'm just going up to your mother's OR right now. I wasn't on-call."

"What's happened to her?"

Dr. Anderson sighed. "I'm not quite sure yet. That's what I'm going to find out. I promise, I'm going to do everything I can to help your mom and sister."

With that, she took off back down the hall. Tessa turned around to see Amelia waiting for her. She shuffled back over and dropped her head on her aunt's shoulder.

"Everything's going to be just fine, Tessa. Your mom's going to be okay."

Tessa didn't reply. There was nothing she could say at this point. Amelia took her to her office and sat her down on the couch. The neurosurgeon eyed the teen carefully as she cradled her head in her hands.

"Why don't you take a nap, kiddo? I'll wake you up if anything happens."

"Okay."

Tessa settled herself onto the couch, pulling the throw draped over the back onto her body. Though she doubted she could ever sleep a wink, she closed her eyes and let the familiar sounds of Amelia typing on her computer and sighing every so often lull her into unconsciousness. Before she knew it, someone was shaking her shoulder gently.

"Sweetie, your mom's out of the OR." The words made Tessa sit straight up. She swung her legs over the side of the couch and started for the door when Amelia grabbed onto her hand.

"Your dad wanted me to warn you. Your mom's okay, for the most part. I don't know what exactly happened yet, but she's on strict bed rest for the remainder of her pregnancy. She's awake, and of course, asking for you."

Tessa nodded, and faced her aunt. "You're going with me, aren't you?"

The older woman scoffed. "Duh. Does anyone ever let you out of their sight in this hospital anymore? Plus, she's my sister, and that's my other niece," there was a strange look on the teen's face, and Amelia frowned. She pulled Tessa into her arms and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"Tessa, you know you're my best friend, right? I love you more than anyone else, and the baby's not going to change that."

The teen smiled and shook her head. "I know that. I'm just worried. Today's been strange."

"I know. Now come on, let's go see your mom."

Tessa didn't need anymore prompting. Her mother was already on the maternity floor, recovering. Derek met them outside the door, and pulled his daughter into his chest.

"There's my girl. Everything okay?"

Tessa nodded and pulled back to peek over his shoulder into the room. Her mother was in bed, as pale as the sheets tucked around her. Derek moved out of the way, allowing both his sister and daughter into the room. Addison smiled weakly at her daughter, and opened her arms.

"Hey, baby. I missed you." Tessa shuffled closer and bent to squeeze her mom gently. Worry still actively coursed through her, but seeing her mom- albeit worse for wear- calmed her racing her heart down some. Addison motioned for her to sit down next to her; Tessa did so, carefully. Her mother's hand reached forward and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry I scared you, sweetheart. I'm okay for now."

A knock on the door silenced anymore reassurances and announced the arrival of Dr. Anderson. Her hair was pulled back into a frizzy ponytail, still standing up from being tucked into a scrub cap. Her scrubs were wrinkled, but a confident smile lit up her face.

"There's my favorite patient. I see your family has already found you. I'm sure you have some questions for me." The doctor lifted her brows, inviting them to ask away.

Addison cleared her throat before she spoke. "What exactly happened?"

"Well, you had a partial placental abruption, one that happened very quickly. We repaired it, but this is a very serious warning for you to slow down. Actually, it's a warning for you to stop. For the next four weeks, you are on bed rest. No unnecessary moving around and no more being a doctor, at least for a couple of months. I know I put you on restriction three months ago, but I doubt you listened half as well as you were supposed to. Now, there are no loopholes. Today could've ended in tragedy if you hadn't gotten here as soon as you did. Your baby is perfectly fine right now. Let's keep both of you that way."

Addison swallowed and nodded. "Okay. I'll do whatever I have to. And, not to sound like an unhappy child, I did listen. I haven't been in the OR since you ordered me to cut back, it's just been somewhat stressful recently," She smiled and squeezed her daughter's limp hand resting on the bed. "That's all about to change. Tessa's trial ended today and her kidnapper was found guilty on all charges."

She didn't actually remember the verdict, but Derek had filled her in after she woke up. Dr. Anderson smiled brightly.

"Congratulations! The whole hospital can breathe again. I hope this is the last piece of turmoil your family experiences. Now, you'll be spending the night here so we can monitor you and the baby. You go home tomorrow afternoon if everything goes well tonight, which I expect it will. Congratulations again, Tessa."

She swept out of the room again, leaving all of the Shepherds all alone. Amelia finally moved towards Addison and pulled her into a hug quickly.

"Don't you ever scare us like that again, Addie. Your kid was a mess." Though her words were meant to be taken lightly, guilt pinched her features. Addison looked at Tessa closely, watching her face.

"I'm sorry I worried you so much, baby. I'm okay now. You heard the doctor. I just need to rest, and by the look of you, you do too."

That was an understatement. Swollen purple bags still sat under Tessa's green eyes even after her power nap. Tessa gave her a tight lipped smile and gently snuggled closer to her mother. Addison wrapped her arms around her baby girl and pressed a kiss to her temple.

Amelia smiled at both of them, and looked over to see Derek doing the same. Even after all that had happened, Tessa was just as close to her mother, if not more. It was plain to see. Thunder boomed outside and Tessa sighed; rain was a good sign. The petite brunette moved closer and rubbed her niece's arm.

"Kiddo, maybe you should stay at my place while your mom's recovering for the night? You can't really do much, and we still need to celebrate your big win."

Tessa brightened slightly at the idea of celebrating, but the guilt of leaving of her sick mother behind made her reconsider. Addison sensed the hesitation from her girl and squeezed her gently. If she was honest, she didn't want Tessa to go, but she never really did. Part of her always felt like when she said goodbye to her daughter that she wouldn't be able to say hi to her again. The red head hadn't felt such severe separation anxiety since she went back to work when her baby was still an actual baby. But, Amelia was right. Tessa did deserve to celebrate her victory. She deserved it more than anything.

"Amelia's right, Tess. Your dad will take care of me tonight and you can go have fun with your crazy aunt."

Tessa bit her lip, still on the fence. Her mother nodded encouragingly, and Amelia wiggled her eyebrows. A smirk worked its way onto her face.

"Okay, if you insist."

Amelia clapped her hands together excitedly. "Great! We can swing by your house to pick up some clothes for you to spend the night and then we can party all night long!"

Tessa shook her head. "You are a world class neurosurgeon yet you sound like a teenager whose parents are out for the weekend."

"I think you mean I sound fun. Not that you'd know what that sounds like."

Tessa rolled her eyes but didn't respond. Derek chuckled and squeezed Tessa to him.

"I'm so proud of you, Tess. You did really well today. And your mom's right; you should go celebrate tonight. I can take care of her just fine until tomorrow."

"I know. And thank you. All of you. I wouldn't have been able to survive the last few months if it weren't for you guys."

Her father smiled and pressed a kiss to her head. "We would all do anything for you, Tess. We love you more than anything."

Amelia joined in on the embrace. From across the room, Addison cleared her throat loudly.

"I can't exactly join in on the family group hug over here."

Tessa pulled back, turning to her mother. She shook her head in mock pity, but moved to give her mom her own hug.

"Thank you, sweetheart. Go have some fun, okay? Don't worry about me too much. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you, sweet girl."

Tessa allowed her mother to kiss her cheek. "I love you too, Mom. Get some rest."

Amelia and her niece made their way out of the hospital and into the parking lot. It had only been about four hours since they'd arrived in such a panicked frenzy. They stopped by the Shepherd household for Tessa to grab a few things, and then went to Amelia's apartment. Tessa stepped in first, reveling in the quiet.

"So kiddo, what do you want to do first?"

Tessa pretended to mull it over. "How bout we both go change into something more comfortable and then watch a movie while clogging up our arteries with pizza grease?"

"Sounds good. Meet you on the couch in five."

The teen disappeared into the bathroom to change. She yanked off the uncomfortable button up blouse and slacks her mother insisted she wear this morning. She reached into her duffle bag and pulled out oversized, worn tee shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Much more comfortable. Her aunt was already waiting for her in the living room in the same attire. The box of pizza waited patiently on the coffee table alongside two glasses of soda.

"What movie should we watch?"

Amelia contemplated the question. "I'm kinda in the mood for something scary, but funny would be fine."

"Scary, most definitely." Tessa settled herself onto the couch next to her aunt. They browsed the selection of scary movies on Netflix, and Tessa gasped when a title came across the screen.

"Ooh! _Unfriended_! I heard that this was really scary. Put it on!"

Amelia chuckled at her enthusiasm. "Okay, but when you can't sleep tonight, don't come crawling into my bed."

The two snuggled together on the couch, jumping at every twist and turn on the screen. As soon as the credits rolled, the two turned to look at each other. Even though she wanted to prove her aunt wrong, Tessa was a little too afraid to sleep alone in a bed that wasn't entirely familiar. Amelia's wide eyes told her that she didn't really want to be alone either.

"How about you spend tonight in my bed? The guest bedroom sheets need to be washed, and it's a little late to do that tonight."

Tessa glanced at the clock; it was barely nine. But, she couldn't exactly argue with that logic. And it had been a long day.

"That's fine with me," the teen eyed her from her peripheral vision. "I know I already thanked you earlier, but I owe you another one. You've helped me a lot, more than anyone. You've always been my best friend and I'll never be able to find the words to thank you for everything. I love you, Amelia."

Tears sparkled in Amelia's blue eyes at the sincerity in her niece's words. "You're always welcome, kiddo. You're my entire world, have been since you were born. I'd take a bullet for you and not even think twice about it, so the past few months have been nothing. I will always be there for you."

The two fell into a hug, each other's tears soaking the other's shirt. Tessa pulled away first with a yawn.

"Come on, sweetheart. Let's go to bed."

Again, there was no argument.

* * *

Addison flipped to her left side with another sigh. She'd been trying to fall asleep for two hours. From the couch across the room, her husband groaned.

"Are you awake, too?"

The red head ran her fingers through her hair. "Yep. I can't sleep."

Her husband tossed his white hospital blanket off of him and made himself comfortable in her bed, his body curling around her. Addison turned again in his arms so she could look into his eyes. Guilt still showed on her face. The neurosurgeon reached up and cupped her cheek.

"What's the matter?"

Her eyes flicked downward. "I scared everyone to death again, and put my daughter's life in danger- again. What kind of mother am I?"

"An excellent one. You didn't put the baby's life in danger; it just happened. It's not your fault at all. You're pregnant later in life, and that comes with some risk. The baby is just fine, and so are you. We'll keep it that way until she's born. As for our oldest, you can't possibly think that you're a bad mother to her. She worships the ground you walk on. Honestly, between you and Amy, I don't know who she loves more."

Addison smiled at his assurances. "I should've known that something was wrong. I've felt more back pain and cramping recently, but I just chalked it up to being so close. I haven't really paying attention to anything except the trial. That's another thing; my daughter had one of the biggest days of her life and I can't remember it. I feel bad that-"

"Addison, Tessa doesn't care that you don't remember hearing the verdict. She cares that you're all right and healthy. She's happy that the trial's over and things can start going back to normal. She just wants you home."

The red head snorted. "Her and me both. You know, I genuinely didn't want her to leave tonight. You'd think with the man that took her from us locked away, I'd feel better about letting her out of my sight, but I don't. If anything, I'm waiting for another shoe to drop. If it was anyone else wanting to take Tessa tonight, I wouldn't have let her go."

"I know what you mean. You know, Dr. Anderson's words made sense today. She said she hoped that the trial was the last piece of turmoil that our family has. I wanted to laugh and say, 'yeah, right'."

Addison's hands cradled her belly. "I can't wait for her to be born, but then again I can. I can protect her in here- or I used to be able to- but it's harder when she's out in the real world. Tessa proves that."

Derek let his hand fall to join his wife's balanced on her belly. "I know. I'm ready to meet her though. I hope she has red hair and my eyes."

"Me too. Tess looks so much like you; it would be nice to have someone else on my side."

"Tessa is always on your side."

Addison chuckled. "I suppose you're right. I've never really thought about why we're so close. I mean, she was equally attached to both of us when she was little. Well, I guess it depended on the situation. She went to you when she was in trouble, but I could always get her to fall asleep."

Her husband shrugged, his arms tightening around her. "I don't know. I think when I dragged her away from everything she's ever known, it put a real dent in our relationship," He paused, his gaze drifting out of the window. "I don't know what I was thinking when I left with her. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea. She was so mad at me. She didn't speak to me for a week. Well, only to ask when she could see you again. I don't know if I ever apologized to you for doing that. I can't imagine how hard that was for you."

Addison swallowed thickly and looked down at their joined hands. "It was awful. I knew she would be fine with you, but it was hell not speaking to her everyday. I missed her so much- you too. I knew you needed space after what I did. I wish everyday I hadn't done what I did. Mostly because of the chain of events that followed us moving here. Our daughter being kidnapped probably wouldn't have happened back in New York."

"Yes, but us getting divorced would have happened for sure. We weren't happy there, and it was starting to affect Tessa. She was starting to look surprised when I came home before two in the morning, or when we actually talked nicely to each other. We were hurting her without even thinking about it."

The red head thought back to four years ago. Her poor daughter wasn't herself towards the end. Tessa was quiet and withdrawn, and her grades had begun to slip. It wasn't until she was alone in that brownstone for two months that she realized all of that. She'd been too focused on making her husband love her again to notice that her 12 year old was miserable.

"I know I wasn't totally thrilled when I found out we were going to have another baby, but I am so glad we are. Ella's our fresh start, and I'm so glad that we're still together. I wouldn't want anyone else to be my family."

Derek rubbed his nose against hers, eliciting a giggle from his beautiful wife. She moved to press her lips against his for a sweet kiss.

"I love you, Derek. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I love you too, Addie. You're my best friend."

* * *

Tessa woke up with flyaway hairs stuck to her lips. Amelia snored soundly next to her, face obscured by bed head hair. Overcast grey sky welcomed her to a new day, and a satisfied sigh escaped her. She was completely content with life. And then she heard someone pounding on the front door. Fear shot up her veins, and her eyes shifted around the room, automatically looking for a weapon. Nothing stood out to her.

"Amelia! Amelia, wake up. Someone's at the door."

The brunette sat up, inhaling sharply. "Don't move. I'll go see who it is."

Reaching underneath her bed, her hand came back up with a bat clasped in it. She prowled closer to the door, listening for the fist pounding on the door. Tessa swung her legs over, but didn't get up. Amelia continued through. A few moments later, the teen heard the lock on the door be released.

"Tess, it's okay. It's only Meredith. You can come out."

Tessa came out slowly, still apprehensive. She relaxed when she saw that it really was just Meredith. Embarrassment at her overreaction made her cheeks flame.

"What the hell were doing banging on the door like that?"

Meredith raised her eyebrow at her tone and words, but answered anyway.

"I knocked like a normal person at first, but nobody came to answer the door. I called Amelia but she didn't answer. I brought coffee and breakfast."

Tessa eyed the small brown paper bags and to go cups on the counter. Two were obviously hot cups of coffee; steam rose out of the small openings. An iced coffee with a green straw sticking out of the lid caught her eyes and she moved to grab it. She took a big sip and smiled when the bittersweet taste of a vanilla latte covered her tongue.

"Forgiven. What's for breakfast?"

Meredith smiled at her and pushed one of the bags closer to her. "For you, a blueberry scone. I know they're your favorite."

Amelia scoffed and pointed to the other two cups of coffee. "Which one is my caramel macchiato with skim milk? And where's my chocolate croissant?"

The blonde rolled her eyes. "God, I didn't hear a thank you from either of you. Shepherds are rude."

Tessa copied her eye roll but moved to give a squeeze with one arm, the other supporting her latte.

"Thanks, Mer. What's the occasion?"

"I heard we won a trial yesterday, and I thought a good breakfast would be a good way to celebrate. I saw that your mom was in the hospital and figured you were with Amelia."

Tessa nodded and hopped up to sit on the counter. "You saw my mom this morning? How was she?"

Meredith shrugged. "She seemed fine. Tired of being in the hospital, but fine. I told her I was going to stop by to see you and she brightened up almost immediately. Told me to tell you that she loves you."

The teen began munching on the pastry. "She'll be discharged soon," Her attention turned to Amelia, who finally found her croissant, and said, "You know, I suggested we name the baby Ella, but I'm not really feeling it anymore. I wanted to give her the perfect name, and it felt like it was perfect, but now it just doesn't seem right. Think Mom and Dad will mind?"

Amelia shrugged. "Were they set on it?"

"I don't think so. I think they just liked it because I suggested it. I need something else."

Meredith spoke up. "Good thing you have a few more weeks before she has to be named. You could've just waited and adopt a baby. They come already named." She laughed at her own joke and glared at the other two when they didn't.

"Fine, don't laugh. That was funny."

Amelia took a sip of coffee. "Sure it was. Listen kiddo, how about you go get dressed and then I'll take you to see your mom. I'm sure she'll be discharged soon, anyway. Thanks for bringing breakfast, Mer."

The blonde nodded and nursed her coffee. "No problem. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm spending the rest of my morning relaxing with Zo-Zo. Bye, Tessa."

With that, Meredith swept out of the apartment. Tessa swallowed the last bite of her scone and hopped off the counter. She stuck the rest of her latte in the fridge and said at her aunt's questioning look, "I'm saving it for the ride over."

Amelia rolled her eyes. "You're weird, kid."

Tessa tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Yet you still love me." She disappeared down the hall to bathroom to shower. Fifteen minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam and dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. Amelia was waiting for her in the kitchen, dressed for work.

"Took you long enough. Your dad called, and your mom has already been discharged. They've already gone home, so I'll take you straight there and head to work. C'mon."

The teen made sure she had everything packed up her bag and headed out the door, her aunt following behind her. In no time, they were walking through the front door of the Shepherd house. Derek stuck his head out of the kitchen and smiled at the two of them.

"Hey you two. Have fun last night?"

Tessa nodded enthusiastically as she reached forward to hug him. "Hey, Dad. Yeah we did. We just junked out on pizza and watched a scary movie. Just normal sleepover stuff."

"Good," He looked up towards his sister. "Addie's upstairs in bed if you want to say hi. We just got home a few minutes ago. She wanted one of my famous grilled cheeses. Want one too, sweetheart?"

His question was directed to his daughter, who shook her head. "No, thanks. I'm going to go see Mom though. Coming, Amelia?"

The neurosurgeon nodded. "Yeah, I'm right behind you."

The two of them jogged upstairs to the master bedroom. Addison sat in bed, perched up on pillows. Her face brightened at the sight of her daughter and sister in the doorway.

"There's my best girl. How are you?"

Tessa quickly hugged her mother. "I'm good, Mom. How about you?"

Addison just smiled. "Glad to be home and glad to have you home. Did you have fun with Amelia?"

"Doesn't she always?" The brunette quipped from the edge of the bed.

Mother and daughter rolled their eyes, but Tessa nodded. "Of course I did. We didn't do anything too wild. The store was out of kegs so we just got a bunch of six packs."

"Funny girl. You've spent too much time with the smartass at my feet."

Amelia chuckled. "That's true. Good one, Tess."

The teen smirked. "Thanks," She wrapped her aunt up in a hug. "And thank you for last night. I know I already thanked you, but it doesn't seem like enough."

Her blue eyes shone with happiness as her niece squeezed her tightly. "And I told you that it was nothing. I meant everything I said last night, okay? I love you more than anything, kiddo. I hate to leave after this touching moment, but I have to get to work. See you soon, okay?"

Tessa smiled. "Of course."

With a kiss pressed to the top her head, Amelia dashed down the stair and out of the house, yelling goodbye to her brother. Tessa crawled up onto the bed next to her mother. Addison didn't hesitate to pull her daughter into her arms. The teen was quiet, unusual for the bubbly girl.

"What's the matter? You seem awfully quiet for being my kid."

Tessa gave a half laugh, but didn't say anything else for a moment. Then, she guiltily met her mother's eyes.

"I was wondering-were you dead set on the name Ella? I'm just not sure if it's right for her."

Tessa's admission surprised her. Was that really all that was bothering her?

"Well, I guess not. It's a beautiful name; it was on the list of names for you, but it didn't feel right then, either. Did you have something else in mind?"

"No, not really. I've been trying to find another name, but they don't sound good anymore, or people we know already have them. I really liked the name Charlotte, but every time I say it, I think of that doctor we met in L.A. Don't get me wrong, I liked her but I don't think I want her and the baby to share a name. I like Bailey, but I think you know who I think of when I say that. Naming a baby is hard."

Addison laughed. "Yeah, it is. You want the name to be perfect because the kid is stuck with it forever, and that makes it hard. Your dad wanted to name you Emily."

Tessa perked up. "Emily? That's not bad. But you almost named me that so probably not."

"You know, we could just wait until she's born. That way, we'll know if it fits her."

"But I wanted to have it all ready for her! I want to stop referring to her as Little Bean and she and her. I want her to-"

Addison silenced her daughter by cupping her cheeks. "Baby, it's okay if we don't have a name for the baby. We didn't name you until you were a few hours old. Sometimes you just have to wait to meet them first. It would be like naming dog before you knew it's personality. I'm not comparing your baby sister to a dog, I'm just trying to help you relate."

Tessa nodded, still upset. "I guess. I just want to be prepared for her."

"Honey, no one is ever prepared for a baby. You can have the nursery done, the name picked out, everything you're supposed to. And then you bring the baby home, and it's chaos. You can't prepare for a baby. it's impossible."

The teen sighed and dropped her head against her mother dramatically. "Fine. I guess whosie-whatsit in there is just going to have to wait."

Addison froze, eyeing the teenager from the corner of her eye. "You did not just call the baby that."

Tessa giggled. "Oh yes I did."

"Sometimes you are so much your father's daughter it scares me."

Right on cue, Derek came through the door, breakfast tray loaded down with food. A grin lit up his face, but he turned in to a mock frown as he heard his wife's words.

"And why would that be scary? What did she do?"

Addison pretended to ignore her oldest, even going so far as scooching away from her with difficulty.

"She referred to our unborn child as whosie-whatsit."

Now Derek just looked confused. "Why? We already named her."

Tessa looked up at him sheepishly. "About that…"

Her father groaned. "You changed your mind, didn't you?"

"Maybe…"

Derek sighed as he gently put the tray over Addison's lap. "So we're back to square one."

"Yes."

"Good thing we have a few more weeks before we have to name her."

From beside her daughter, Addison tensed. A large cramping in her back suddenly squeezed the smile off her face. She looked towards her daughter with wide green eyes.

"Maybe not."

* * *

 **And we have a ruling! i'm sure everyone knew how the verdict was going to fall, but i hope I portrayed it well. Thank you to the reviewer who pointed out that Ella was the name of Addison and Mark's "baby." I didn't connect the dots until then. I am stuck now as to what the baby's name should be. i am stuck between Eve, Madelyn, Emma, or Sophie. I realize Sophie is very similar to Mark, Callie, and Arizona's daughter, Sophia. since none of them were really ever mentioned, i thought it might work. Now, you guys can give your input on the name, but it will ultimately be my decision, considering she's my character. i must also warn you that we are reaching the end of the story. i am sad to say that. i'm not saying that the next chapter will be the last, but be prepared.**

 **Thank you so much for all of your support and actually liking this story. it started out just a bunch of scribble in a composition book and the fact that this is chapter 28 is amazing. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't hesitate to leave a review!**


	29. Memories, New and Old

A muffled groan sounded with the blaring of an alarm clock. Tessa shifted under her thick duvet, trying to draw in more warmth. 6:45 was _way_ too early to be waking up when she felt this awful. A sudden, urgent flutter in her chest sent her sitting straight up and a cough erupted from her body. As soon as the violent jerks subsided, Tessa realized how badly her throat hurt. It felt like someone had shoved sandpaper down her esophagus. Shivers ran down her spine, and she unhappily realized that she probably had a fever. But, she also had an essay to finish in English, and after the final bell rang at 3:15, her teacher wouldn't accept it anymore. She had to finish it. Another groan was summoned from deep within her, but she felt a bit better when she realized she had the perfect excuse to wear sweats to school. She threw on the comfiest pair she could fine, as well as her soccer shirt. She slipped on her black Nikes, twisted her hair into a braid, and grabbed her bag. She didn't even bother to look in the bathroom mirror, knowing she wouldn't like what reflected back at her.

She continued on downstairs toward the kitchen quietly, knowing her mother was still asleep upstairs. The teen had been rudely awoken by her father stomping past her room around three on the way back to the hospital, grumbling as she fell back asleep. Tessa pried open the fridge only to discover that nothing that sat waiting on the plastic shelves looked at all appetizing. She sighed with disappointment and then moved to make herself a cup of tea. That would certainly soothe her throat, maybe even her jumping stomach. Just as her hand wrapped around the handle of the kettle, the kitchen light flicked on, and Tessa found herself blinded. She hissed, throwing her arm over eyes for protection. As they adjusted, Tessa realized that it was her mother that had switched on the light. Addison looked befuddled, staring at Tessa with confusion. One elegant hand rested on the light switch while the other supported her belly.

"Mom, what are you doing up? You should be asleep."

Addison snorted as she waddled closer. "I know that, and you know that, but your baby sister does not know that. She keeps doing flips," She eyed her daughter carefully, reaching out to cup her chin. "You okay, sweetheart? You don't look so good."

Tessa grimaced. "I'm not feeling all that well," As her mom began to open her mouth, the teen held up a hand. "I can't miss today. I have an essay due in English and it has to be in by this afternoon, and you know how much homework I'll have tom-"

She was cut off by her mother pressing her lips against her forehead, checking for a fever. Addison hummed as she pulled back.

"You have a fever."

Tessa nodded. "I could tell. I'm not missing school."

Addison sighed and locked her hands on her hips. "I'm afraid you are. Tessa, you have a fever and obviously feel awful. You're staying home with me today."

Tessa started to protest again, but when she saw the look in the red head's eyes, thought better of it.

"Ugh, fine."

Addison nodded gently. "Good. Now go back to bed and I'll bring you some medicine in a minute."

"Mom, you're supposed to be resting, not taking care of me. I can do it myself."

As if to prove her point, Tessa began to fix her cup of tea again, setting the kettle on before sweeping around her mother to the bathroom. Tessa grabbed cough drops, flu medicine, and Chap Stick. Addison was finishing up her mug, scooping the perfect amount of sugar in. she handed the warm beverage back to her daughter with a smug look. Tessa rolled her eyes, but accepted.

"If you're going to make me stay in bed all day, can it at least be your bed?"

Addison smiled at the question. "Of course. That sounds perfect. I can't think of a better way to spend my day."

Tessa hurried to her room, grabbing all of the essentials she would need for the day. Her favorite blanket and pillow, books, phone, everything. Addison was standing in the bathroom when she walked into her parents' bedroom. She came out with a thermometer tucked in her palm. She motioned for Tessa to come closer, and the teen did so. They both waited in silence for the device to read her temperature. Addison hummed unhappily as she read the numbers displayed on the tiny screen.

"101.2. You're one sick little girl. I already have some Advil waiting on my nightstand. Your tea's there, too. Go get under the covers. I know how cold you get."

Tessa smiled gratefully before slipping under her blanket. She reached for the two pills sitting next to her tea and popped them into her mouth before quickly gulping down her tea. A shiver ran down her spine as the blanket settled around her, warmth enveloping her. Addison shifted around in the bathroom for another minute before flicking the light off. She waddled back over to the bed and climbed into it with great difficulty. An irritated huff sounded from her as she settled against the pillows.

"You know, I love your sister very much, but I can't wait for her to get out of here. I'd like to have my body back soon."

Tessa chuckled slightly. "Sorry, Mom. Not too much longer, though." Her eyes fluttered close, and a painful breath escaped her. Her chest felt heavy, as if a large weight sat on it. She fumbled her fingers over her chest, trying to release the pressure. Addison captured her hand within her own and lifted it to press a kiss to the back of it.

"Just sleep, baby. You'll feel better when you wake up."

When she awoke a few hours later, the first thing she noticed was that someone was talking. As she awoke more, she realized it was her mother on the phone.

"Yeah, she's right here. No, she's asleep. Derek, I can take care of the both of us; you don't need to come home. I promise that we'll take it easy. No, she had a fever and her chest is congested, but I think she'll be okay. If I think she needs to go to the doctor, I'll call you. Bye, Der. Love you."

Addison clicked her phone off and turned to glance at her daughter. Surprise popped up into her eyes as she saw her already awake.

"Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?"

Tessa opened her mouth to answer, but stopped when her stomach began to churn. Without hesitating, she lurched out of bed towards the bathroom, her hand clasped over her mouth. She made it just in time for the meager contents of her stomach to come pouring out. The teen dimly felt someone sweeping their hand across her back, scooping back her hair.

Tessa moaned as she set back on her heels, letting her head rest on the porcelain bowl.

"Mommy, I don't feel good."

The whine left her mouth without much thought except how badly she felt. Addison murmured sympathetically as she grabbed a wash cloth and used it to wipe the clamminess off her baby's forehead. Tessa leaned into her touch, the cool wetness soothing some of her discomfort. Though she hated seeing her baby girl ill, hearing her call her 'mommy' was nice.

"I know, baby. Think you can get back into bed by yourself?"

Tessa nodded slowly, getting to feet even slower. Addison wrapped her arm her shoulder for her support, but she knew that even in her debilitated state Tessa wouldn't add any unneeded force to her body. They gradually made their way back to the large bed and Tessa gently fell onto it. A trashcan was pushed closer to her side of the bed, and she smiled gratefully at her mother.

The red head made sure her daughter was set up before climbing back into bed herself. Tessa snuggled closer, shivering. She curled up as close as she could, her head resting on her chest. Addison pressed her lips to the crown of her head, frowning at the heat that radiated there.

"I'm sorry you feel so bad, sweetpea. I wish I could help."

"I'll be okay." Her daughter reassured weakly.

The two sat in silence for a few moments, each miserable in their own ways. As much as she joked about it, Addison really was ready for her daughter to be born. Her back ached constantly, her ankles were past swollen, and her stomach was stretched uncomfortably tight. When more cramping had begun two weeks ago after she was released from the hospital, she thought she had finally reached the end of a long, long road. Unfortunately, it was only a false alarm. Now, only two weeks away from her due date, she could almost see the light.

Tessa looked over at her mom, shifting in her arms. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just uncomfortable. You want to watch TV or something?"

Much to her surprise, Tessa shook her head. "No. Can we talk instead?"

The question caught her completely off guard. Her daughter was asking for them to talk? And by her tone, talk about something serious.

"S-Sure, of course. What about?"

Tessa went quiet. "What was it like? Finding out I was gone that day."

Addison swallowed. She hadn't expected that. "Well, I- uh-"

"You don't have to answer if it's too much. I know it's not easy to talk about."

Her mother shook her head. "No, no I'll answer. I just wasn't expecting that to be your question," she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. "I didn't know until late that night. That haunted me for weeks. I didn't know until you had been gone for over eight hours. I felt awful for not knowing sooner. I was the one who initially discovered that you were missing. I found the on-call room. I saw the blood on the bed frame."

Against her, Tessa smirked. "That wasn't my blood. I bit him and he fell."

"I know. The police told us it wasn't your blood. That made me feel better, knowing that you hadn't been hurt yet. I remember feeling so much panic, I couldn't breathe. I remember screaming your name, hoping you could hear me. You were already too far away to hear me."

Silence covered them again. Tessa spoke, squeezing her mother tightly. "I'm sorry I put you through that. I know it wasn't my fault, but I am sorry you suffered anyway."

"You know, that first day wasn't the worst. At first, there was so much hope. Every day, I woke up thinking that today would be the day we found you. And every day, I was disappointed. After a few weeks, it was hard to hope as much. I never stopped thinking we were going to find you, but I got a little less optimistic that we would anytime soon."

Tessa looked down. "A few people at school asked me if I blamed everyone for you not finding me sooner. I told them no, that I honestly didn't expect you to find me. How could you have? Why would anyone look in a basement of an unmarked house? I always knew that if I was ever going to get out that I would have to do it myself. I never blamed you."

"I- I didn't know people thought that. We looked everywhere for you. Psychics called constantly, promising they knew exactly where your body was."

Tessa squeezed her mother tightly. "Did you ever think that my body was all that you would find?"

Addison waited a few moments before answering. She could be honest; that yes, for a dark, dark period she had believed that they would find her precious baby's body floating bloated in the Sound or unceremoniously buried in a shallow grave. Or, she could lie. She could tell her sweet little daughter that no, she would never, ever give up hope of finding her girl alive. But, Tessa knew her too well. She would know she was lying.

"Yes," The mother answered carefully, watching her little girl's expression. Of course, she had trained her features to be unreadable. "On the days I missed you the most, when I couldn't get out of bed and hugged your baby picture to my chest, I thought I would never see you alive again. I told myself that you were probably better off dead, because whatever happening to you was worse than you being dead. The scenarios in my head were driving me crazy; I couldn't sleep. My dreams were filled with you being tortured. I think I was trying to make myself feeling better. But, I don't think I ever truly believed you were dead. I think a part of me, the mother in me, always wanted to believe that you were going to be home soon."

They both fell silent. Tessa sniffled. "That makes sense. When-" She cut herself off, suddenly looking nervous. She glanced up at her mother, but her eyes immediately drifted away when she made eye contact with the red head.

"When what? Sweetheart, please don't be afraid to talk to me. Look, I just shared something really deep and hard for me. Whatever you say won't hurt me, I promise."

Tessa nodded. "When I was in the basement, I thought I was better off dead, too. I thought, even if I ever did make it back home, I wasn't worth loving anymore. I thought it would be better for everyone to just move on. I know you knew that, but there was a part nobody knew. I tried to get him to kill me. I thought if I just made him mad enough, he would strangle me to death, or beat me. A way out was a way out. I'm really ashamed that I thought that now. I know more now than I did then. In the basement, I only knew pain. It was the only thing around. I was drowning in it. I stopped thinking like that after I woke up in the hospital. After I saw you."

Tears were now unabashedly running tracks down Addison's cheeks. She pressed her lips against her girl's soft hair. A soft laugh slipped past her lips. Tessa looked up at her curiously.

"No, I'm not laughing at what you just said. I promise. I just started thinking about the day you came home. I was trying to figure out what day was better: the day you were born, or the day I found you again. The day you were born is hands down one of the best days of my life, no doubt. But, the day I got to hold you in my arms again is a close second I think."

Addison drifted back to that day. It started off so normal. She had instinctively checked her phone in case any important calls had come through during the night, but her notifications were empty and silent. She'd yanked on some clothes for work and went to save someone else's baby while hers was still gone. And then, Meredith Grey, who would once break family apart- albeit unknowingly- brought them back together by sewing her broken daughter back together. She remembered Tessa's gaunt frame weakened by malnutrition, the unnatural paleness of her skin that resulted from a severe lack of sun, and the horrendous, nearly fatal wounds covering the majority of her body. Even in this deteriorated state, the mother had never seen such a beautiful sight. She finally could fold her child in her arms again, could finally press countless kisses to her face, and hear the melodic sound of her baby girl's voice. And then, the two emerald orbs she'd been staring into for sixteen years met hers once again.

Tears again pooled in her eyes. Her arms tightened around the teen, ingraining the slightly vanilla scent from Tessa's lotion in her mind.

"I'm sorry I made you sad, Mom. I didn't mean to."

Addison shook her head. "No, no baby you didn't. I was just thinking and my emotions got the best of me, and being pregnant doesn't exactly help anything. I promise you didn't upset me at all. Thank you for telling me everything you did. Really, it means a lot that you finally opened up."

Tessa sniffled and lifted her hand to cough into it. "I know you've wanted me to for months, but I guess I wanted to spare you from anymore pain. It was actually very easy to talk to you. It always is."

"I told you! Amelia can't do everything better than me," The red head teased gently.

Tessa flashed a half smile at her. "I never said she could. Amelia's my best friend and I love her to death, but you're my mom. You're in a completely different category."

Addison chuckled softly. "Thanks, Tess."

The teen gazed at the bump that was her little sister intently. Addison ran her hands over her belly instinctively and a thought struck her, one that she, oddly enough, hadn't asked her daughter yet.

"Is it weird that you're going to have to share me in a few months?"

Tessa gave the question some thought. "A little. I mean, I've had you to myself for 16 years, but I don't think I'll be jealous. It'd be different if I was younger, I think. I'm old enough to understand that a baby needs a lot of attention. Plus, I'll be able to help."

"That's true. You'll be able to help me a lot. You know, when you were really little, you used to beg me and your dad for a little sister." A smile slipped into her voice at the adorable memory that materialized in her mind. Tessa looked up at her in surprise.

"Really? I did? I don't remember that."

"Hm, you probably wouldn't. You were only three or four, but every night before bed, you would wish on the fist star you saw for a baby sister. It stopped a little before your fifth birthday, but you never said why. It was really cute, though. Your dad thought it was precious. Oh! You know what; I think we might even have a video of you asking one night! There's a clear plastic bin in my closet; get it out and I'll show you."

Tessa gingerly got to her feet, and then headed to her mom's large closet. She flicked on the light, searching the top shelf of the closet over Addison's designer dresses and blouses, organized by season then by color. Her eyes zeroed in on a long, clear rectangular storage bin, and she reached up on her tiptoes to carefully slide it down. Her core ached from throwing up earlier, but she sucked it up and carried it to the bed. She sat down at her mother's folded legs. Addison clapped her hands together excitedly, already leaning towards the box.

"Oh, I have all of your baby things in here! I haven't seen any of this since," She thought back. "Since you first went missing. I looked through it to make me feel closer to you."

Tessa parked herself across from her, crossing her own legs. "Did it help?"

Addison looked up into piercing, somehow still innocent eyes and smiled. "Yeah, baby. It did," she began to rifle through the pictures of baby Tessa, cooing and awing at every picture. Her fingers brushed against a soft piece of fabric and a gasp made Tessa's eyes fly towards her. The red head held up the well loved scrap of fabric that Tessa had spent the first few years of her life wrapped in.

"Oh, your baby blanket. Your bankie! You slept with this for years. You'd wrap Heddie up in it and tuck her in."

Tessa's flushed cheeks reddened a bit more. "Yeah, yeah. It's adorable. Where's that tape?"

Finally, her eyes landed on a VHS tape hidden under a pile of teeny tiny onesies. Three more tapes were stacked below it, and Tessa pulled them all out. They were all labeled something simple: "Big Day", "First Steps," "Best Friends", and the final one was "Tessa's Wish."

"Mom, can we watch all of them?"

Addison looked up from Tessa's baby book, a fond smile on her face. "Sure, why not? I don't get to see little baby you very much anymore."

Tessa playfully rolled her eyes, but hopped off the bed and popped "Big Day" into the VCR. A shaky hand held the video camera, aimed at a young, red faced Addison cringing in a hospital bed. Her hands were braced on the hand-rails on either side of the bed. The cameraman turned the camera around to face themselves, revealing a fresh faced Derek. An ecstatic grin lit up his face, he began to speak.

"Okay, so when you're watching this years down the road Baby Shepherd, Mommy's doctor said that we should be meeting you in about an hour. Even though she's in tons of pain, Mommy and I can't wait to meet you. Right, Mommy?"

The camera turned back towards Addison, who grimaced up at the tiny device. "Right," She panted through gritted teeth. As soon as the contraction released its grasp on her body, the red head slumped down on the bed. "Daddy chose a bad time to ask, but it's true, little one. We can't wait to meet you. Now, Daddy needs to put the camera down if he knows what's good for him."

Derek laughed off screen and the TV screen turned black. Tessa turned around to smirk at her mother. "Rude much?"

Addison narrowed her green eyes in mock annoyance. "Hey, you try pushing a six pound meatball with a huge head and tell me what you think."

The teen laughed, but turned her attention back towards the TV, where the video had picked up again. The fist image on the screen was an overjoyed Addison crying along with the tiny, crinkled, red faced baby cradled against her chest.

"Oh, hello my sweet baby girl! We've waited so long to meet you. I'm your mommy, and I love you so much already." Derek appeared from the corner of the camera, tears also in his eyes. His large hand came up to cup around his wife's that supported the newborn's tiny backside. The young father leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the squalling baby's forehead.

"We're finally a family," He choked out, inclining his head to press a grateful kiss to Addison's flushed cheeks. The video ended with the last shot of Derek and Addison pressing their foreheads together and gazing lovingly at their new daughter.

Tessa picked herself from where she had parked on the floor and squeezed herself into her mother's embrace. A reminiscent glaze clouded her green eyes. She automatically held Tessa closer to her chest, as if trying to hold the baby she'd just seen on her TV. Her eyes flicked down to her daughter, a smile spreading across her face.

"Forever the best day of my life."

Tessa blushed bashfully. "What about when Little Bean is born?"

Addison shrugged. "The second best day of my life. Put the next one in!"

The teen switched the tapes in the machine before getting back on the bed. This time, the first thing they saw was an older Tessa, standing on wobbly, chubby baby legs with fat little baby hands latched onto Derek's. The top of his dark head was just visible in the shot, the corner of his smile just peeking out. Tessa stood between his legs in a purple onesie and little wisps of curly hair covering her head. Addison held the camera this time, her soft voice coming off camera.

"C'mon Tessa, you can do it! Come to Mama!"

Tessa gave her mother a half gummy half toothy, happy smile that made both of her parents laugh. She responded by gurgling happily, fluent in almost words and gibberish. Derek began to encourage her, and the tiny girl glanced up at her dad adoringly. Her father slowly let go of her hands, making sure she stayed balanced. Addison continued voicing her encouragements, dangling toys tantalizingly in front of her daughter.

"You almost have it, you smart little girl! Oh my God! You're taking your first steps! Look at you!"

Tessa smiled at the excitement in her voice and sped up her wobbly steps to get to her mom. She leaned a little too far forward though, and tumbled to the ground, catching herself on her little hands, diapered butt in the air. She peeked up at her laughing mother curiously, and then let out her own little laugh. Addison set the camera down on the wood floor of their brownstone, and moved to scoop up her baby girl. She peppered her tiny face with proud kisses.

"Oh, my sweet little girl! I'm so proud of you."

Tessa answered her praises by bumping her button nose against her mom's, then squealing when her dad began to tickle her round baby belly. Derek pressed a kiss to the back of her dark hair, a proud fatherly smile lighting up his face.

"Addie, our baby girl is a genius! Walking at eight months! Tessa, you're perfect."

Addison nodded as her little girl squealed happily in her arms. "Yes, she is."

The video went to black. Tessa glanced over at her mother, smiling.

"Aww, how cute."

Addison nodded. "It was. I'd forgotten that we videotaped that. We waited for weeks for you to actually walk. You'd been pulling yourself up and your dad and I had taken bets on when you'd walk."

"Who won?"

Her mom's face soured for a moment, but a fond smirk replaced it. "Your dad, of course. But I bet that your first word would be "Mama" and I was right. You said it one night after I put you down one night a few weeks later. Of course, after you said it, I kept you up to make you say it more."

Tessa rolled her eyes. "I bet I can guess who stars in "Best Friends."

She put the next video in, and a smile grew on her face when she saw how young her mom looked as she hovered outside the living room of the brownstone, holding her index finger to her lips. Her red hair was pulled up into a messy bun and an old paint splattered flannel shirt and jeans made her look more relaxed than Tessa had seen her in years. Worry for her missing and traumatized daughter hadn't weighed down her features or added lines along her mouth. In these old home videos, Addison was young and happy with her handsome husband, brand new job, and beautiful daughter. Her life was perfect in these memories, and Tessa felt a flood of guilt at the biting thought that most of the pain in her mom's life was her fault. Her mind snapped back to the present, where the scene from her childhood distracted her. The younger version of her mother laughed quietly, her thin shoulders shaking. She beckoned the camera closer and then gestured wildly to the couch. Passed out on the leather sectional, a startlingly young Amelia cradled a three year old Tessa onto her chest, both snoring softly. Addison cooed softly as she moved closer.

"Look at these two, Der. Aww, so cute!" Her excited whisper was loud enough to make Tessa shift on her aunt. Amelia unconsciously tightened her arms across the little girl's back. Addison gently placed a blanket over the two of them.

"How old was Amelia there?"

The current version of her mother hummed thoughtfully. "Oh, she was only 20, maybe? She was home from college one weekend and had a fight with your grandmother- imagine that. I invited her to the city to spend time with you and she jumped at the chance."

Their attention flew back to the home movie as they realized that the scene had changed. Amelia and Tessa were now sitting on the floor of Tessa's room, playing with dolls. Amelia looked totally out of place in her black ripped skinny jeans and black tank top. Her smile brightened up the whole house as she gazed adoringly at the little girl sitting across from her. Her narrow fingers were making a Barbie dressed in a lab coat "operate" on another Barbie who lay prepped and draped on a small table. Tessa's hands were holding up another doll, obviously the attending to Amelia's resident.

"Okay, Dr. Tessa. The patient is ready. What surgery are we performing today?"

The tiny toddler gave some serious contemplation. "Appendectomy!"

Amelia gave her niece an incredulous look. "Are you sure? That's a pretty simple surgery for your skills."

Tessa nodded the affirmative. Amelia shrugged, and then made her doll move to begin the procedure. Tessa smiled as she joined in, barking out orders and taking the invisible utensils from her aunt.

"You saved this Barbie's life today, Dr. Tessa. Mighty impressive!"

Tessa smiled bashfully at the comment. "Thank you. You make a very good helper."

Her young aunt widened her blue orbs in mock shock. "Helper? Is that all I am to you? Huh?"

She extended her arms quickly and scooped Tessa up. Her fingers attacked her tiny tummy, making laughter erupt out of the little girl. "No! Auntie Amy, no!"

The two brunettes rolled around on the floor, laughing. After a few moments, they both became still, only their chests rising rapidly as they fought for breath. Tessa breathed deeply before gravitating to her aunt's arms.

"You're my best friend, Auntie Amy. I love you."

Even from the hallway where whoever held the camera stood, the tears that popped into Amelia's eyes were unmistakable.

"I love you too, munchkin. More than anything in the whole world."

The video ended, and Tessa felt her own tears welling up. "I don't remember that day, but I should."

Addison was surprised at the guilt and hurt in her voice. "No, sweetheart. You were only three and that was only one day. You had tons of play dates with Amelia. I promise you."

The teen turned around completely to face her mother. "When did I stop calling her Auntie Amy?"

Addison gave the question some thought. "When you turned thirteen. I remember because it was on your birthday and all your friends were around. She gave you the present she'd brought and you said, "Thanks, Amelia. I love it." She went in the kitchen and cried. You calling her Auntie Amy was the best thing that ever happened to her."

Tessa felt another stab of guilt twist into her heart. "Really? Why?"

Addison shrugged as if it was obvious. "Amelia was a mess before you were born. You know her history; that all changed the day you arrived. She promised to be someone that you could look up to. She cleaned up, started actually trying in school, and even attempted to get along with her mother. Unfortunately that relationship was too far damaged to be repaired. Tess, you didn't hurt her when you started calling her Amelia, it was just a rude wake-up call that you were growing up. I promise it would seem silly to her that she cried if you brought it up."

Tessa nodded, ready to move on. "Mom, are you hungry at all?"

"A little," The red head admitted.

"Well, why didn't you say something? I'll make you whatever you want."

Addison gave her a funny look. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

Tessa smirked. "Well, yeah. But, you're on bed rest."

"But you're sick. On that thought, come here. I want to check your fever. Your little cheeks are still red, but you're still really pale."

Her daughter complied, coming over to the side of the bed and allowing her mother to press her palm against her forehead. Addison hummed disappointingly. "You're still very warm. Grab some ibuprofen from the cabinet."

Tessa did as she was told, taking the medicine. She turned around to look at her mother. "Now, what do you want to eat?"

"I don't know. Are you hungry?" Her expression said she _did_ know what she wanted, but her choice was dependent on her daughter's appetite.

Tessa shook her head.

"Okay then. Can you make me that boxed macaroni and cheese stuff?"

The teen smirked. "You mean the fake cheese poison that shouldn't enter any human body?"

"That's the one."

The sick teenager laughed gently. "Okay, one bowl of cheesy, delicious poison coming up."

"Thanks, baby."

Tessa headed to the kitchen, checking the time as she entered the room. It was 12:15. If she was at school, she'd still be racing around the track in athletics. She located the box of noodles tucked in the corner of the pantry, and pulled out a pot. She dumped the dry macaroni into the pot, along with a cup of water. Normally, she'd jump at the chance to eat the orange junk, but her lack of appetite made it look inedible. As the water came to a boil, Tessa realized that despite feeling ill, she felt different. Lighter, perhaps. Then, it dawned on her why. She'd shared the load that had been weighing her down without even realizing it. She hadn't even realized how badly she wanted to say the things she did. Or how badly she wanted to say them to her mom.

Addison blew out a breath. Her back tightened, pain waving through, ending at her bellybutton. She hissed instinctively, glad she was alone. She was sure that this was only Braxton hicks, familiar with the pain; not only with patients, but with herself. The false labor pains had plagued her in the final stages of her pregnancy sixteen years ago. Footsteps echoed from down the hall, and Addison readjusted on the bed, trying to appear comfortable for her daughter's sake. Tessa popped her head in with a pleased smile, and then her body slipped through the door, breakfast tray in hand. A bowl sat in the middle, steam rising from the orange noodles piled there. Another little dish held raspberries, Addison's favorite fruit. The mother smiled at the sight.

"Thank you, baby. It looks great. I'd forgotten we had raspberries. Nice touch."

Tessa set the tray down on what little room was left on her mother's lap and then moved to sit beside her on the bed. Addison tucked in, quickly scooping up spoonful after spoonful. Tessa put the last tape in, eager to see what her wish was twelve years ago. Derek appeared on camera, holding his four year old daughter and pointing out the window. His hair was longer in this video, brushing his shoulders and one of Tessa's little hands held onto it. The New York night sky shone outside of the glass, and the pajama clad little girl was gazing intently out into it. Her green eyes searched the sky for a pinpoint of sparkling light, the first one of the night.

"Daddy, I don't see any!" The pleading whine made Derek chuckle.

"Keep looking, baby. We do this every night, and every night you think you won't see it, but you always do, don't you?"

Tessa spared a moment to look down with a pout, her fingers playing with a ribbon on the neck of her pajama top. "Yes."

"Okay then. We'll just have to keep looking. Maybe Mommy can help?"

From off camera, Addison's voice rang out with a smile twisting around her words. "Mommy's working the camera, but I know you'll find one, sweetheart. What are you wishing for tonight?"

Tessa's eyes were once again focused on the sky. "Mommy, I can't tell you. It won't come true if I tell you."

Her mother's shoulders shook, making the camera shake as well. "Oh, my mistake."

Tessa froze and her mouth fell open. She reanimated in a heartbeat, her delicate finger shooting out, pointing at a pin prick of light that had suddenly appeared.

"There it is, there it is!" Her eyes closed tightly, and her little lips started moving quickly. Addison took quick, quiet steps closer, attempting to capture her wish on video.

"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might get the wish I wish tonight. I wish for a baby sister, and I want her name to be Maddie, and I want her to be my best friend."

Tessa flashed around to her mother, her mouth a perfect 'o'. "Mom, I wanted a baby sister named Maddie. Madelyn. It's perfect!"

Addison smiled brightly at her. "It is. I know I said that Ella was perfect, but it never did sit right. Madelyn is…" She trailed off, searching for the perfect word. "Madelyn is Little Bean."

Addison felt a ripple down her belly, her youngest kicking up her feet. "Oh!"

The exclamation made her daughter jump. "Mom? You okay?"

Addison kept her eyes on her belly, her hands wrapping around it. "Y-yeah. I think so. It's just Braxton hicks."

Being the daughter of a world class OB/GYN, Tessa knew that false labor pains were a warning sign, telling the mother to be that her nine months of being an incubator were soon to be up. Tessa also knew that with her mother's preexisting conditions from this pregnancy, she needed to be monitored closely.

"Is that okay?"

Addison rolled her eyes at the worry in Tessa's voice. "Yes. It's perfectly natural. I know this pregnancy hasn't exactly been ideal, but everything is going to sail smoothly. I promise that if anything was wrong, I'd tell you."

Tessa eyed her mother critically. "That hasn't exactly been proven true in the past."

"Well, that's fair. But, I promise, to the best of my vast knowledge, I am not in labor." Addison's hand came up to pat Tessa's arm reassuringly.

Her promise seemed to placate the teen, who went back to messing with her baby memories. The little things that would change after the baby always seemed more surprising than the big things. Like the fact that there would soon be two baby boxes at the top of the closet, and that they no longer had a guest room, but a nursery. That blew her mind more than her soon being a big sister. Addison suddenly didn't have too much faith in her words. Pressure cinched around her torso with greater force, a huff of discomfort bubbling at her lips. She kept it quiet, suddenly realizing that it was a bit more serious than she originally thought. Tessa noticed, though. Her attention was now pinned on her mother.

"Okay, I'm calling Dad."

Much to the teen's surprise, her mom didn't protest. She just nodded weakly. As Tessa reached for her phone, she heard the red head groan behind her.

"That's probably a very good idea because my water just broke."

* * *

 **Guys, thank you so much for the flood of reviews and suggestions! I really appreciate all of them. i don't want this story to end either; it's been a big part of my life for almost 10 months. i just don't want to drag it on because i can't let go. i want it to have a dignified ending. now, there will probably still be three or four chapters to go, and i'll try to make them as long as possible. Really, thank you. seeing your thoughts and feelings about this makes my day every time!**


	30. Welcome

"Dad?"

"Hey Tess. You're on speakerphone. I'm in the OR. What's up?"

Tessa bit her lip. Her dad was just going through his day, saving lives like normal. Now, he was about to be told that he was soon to be a father again. And he wasn't even there.

"Tess? Everything okay? Are you feeling any better?" Derek sounded worried now, and she couldn't blame him.

"Dad, please don't freak out, but Mom's in labor."

The other end of the line was silent for a moment, the only sound the steady beeping of a heart monitor.

"Are you sure?" Derek finally spoke, his voice shaking.

"Um, yeah. Her water broke a few minutes ago. What should I do?"

Her father let out a stressful breath. "Is your mom okay?"

Tessa looked over shoulder, back at Addison who gently ran her hands over her belly, blowing air out of her cheeks.

"I think so. Her contractions are about 15 minutes apart, lasting for about 30 seconds. Here, you can talk to her if you like," Tessa passed the phone to her mother, who smiled reassuringly. Addison spoke softly to her husband.

"Hey, Der. I'm okay. Babe, how are you going to come get me when you're elbow deep in someone's brain? Is Amelia available? She could pick us up, unless you want our sixteen year old who doesn't even have her permit to drive us to the hospital. Yeah, I didn't think so. I'll call Amy. Tessa will have my phone and hers, so I'll have her call you when we get to the hospital. I love you, Derek. I'll see you soon."

Addison hung up the phone and looked up at her teenager. "Honey, will you go get my bag from the closet? And go grab your own. We'll be at the hospital for a while."

Tessa did as she was asked quickly, also grabbing her backpack as she hurried out of her room. Her mom had swung her legs over the edge of the bed, her hands braced on her knees. Worry shot through Tessa, and she quickly dropped the bags she'd been holding and made her way to her side.

"Are you okay, Mom? What can I do?"

Addison nodded silently, breathing out. "Call Amelia."

The teen grabbed her phone and dialed Amelia's speed dial. "Dr. Shepherd."

"Amelia, it's me. Mom's in labor and we need you to come get us."

"What?! Have you called your dad?"

Tessa sighed. "Yes, or course. He's in surgery. Can you come or not?"

"Of course. I'll be right there." Her aunt hung up without another word, and she knew that Amelia would be there as quick as she could. Tessa turned back towards her mother, reassuring smile on her face.

"Amelia will be here soon. Let's get you downstairs so we can get you to out the door sooner."

Addison gave her look that communicated that she was entirely a great idea, but got to her feet. Tessa swung both of the bags on her shoulders and then stuck her arm out to escort her mother down the stairs. She got her mother settled on the couch before making sure that the house was secure before wandering back into the living room. She didn't like just sitting around, waiting and being helpless. Addison tried to comfort her daughter when she could, but she'd forgotten how much labor _hurt_.

"Tessa, honey, I know you're worried, but I promise I'll be fine. I can handle it. I've already done it once," The mother tried joking around to lighten her teen's mood, and Tessa cracked a smile; it just didn't reach her green eyes. An urgent knocking at the door made Tessa spring up from the couch and let Amelia in. The neurosurgeon came flying into the living room, searching for her laboring sister.

"Hey, Addie. How are you?" Her voice was soft and gentle, as if she was approaching a wild animal.

The red head grimaced. "Fine. Let's go to the hospital."

She stuck out both her arms and her daughter and sister hurried to help her to her feet. As soon as she was steady, Tessa swiped the awaiting bags and threw open the door, a light drizzle greeting the concrete outside. As her mom and aunt waddled past, Tessa also snagged her coat and held it up over the two women. Amelia threw her a grateful glance before aiding the red head into the backseat. Tessa tossed their luggage into the back of her car before sliding into the front seat. The young brunette twisted in her seat to watch her mother's facial features, knowing that a contraction would be coming soon. Her timing was perfect, because Addison's face screwed up in pain and her breathing grew ragged. Tessa threw her hand back, allowing her mom to latch on it and squeeze out the pain. Amelia started the car and pulled onto the road, glancing over her shoulder for traffic. Addison's hold on her daughter's hand loosened slowly as the pain faded. Her forehead already had beads of sweat growing on her hairline.

"Thanks, baby," Her gratitude came out in between pants. Tessa's heart squeezed in pity for her mom, hating to see her in such pain. Amelia cursing as a car cut her off caught her attention.

"Hey asshole! Ever heard of a blinker!?"

Tessa instinctively glanced back, expecting to her an indignant protest at the language but the red head had her eyes shut, not paying attention.

"Oh, this is not good." Amelia's words made two pairs of green eyes fly forward and stare out the windshield. A massive traffic jam stretched as far as the eye could see. Addison groaned miserably.

"This cannot be happening. I am _not_ having my baby in the back seat of a Subaru!"

If they weren't in the situation that they were, Tessa would've laughed at her mother's words. Amelia shrugged apologetically, as if the pile up was her fault.

"Addie, I don't know-" She cut herself off as flashing red and blue lights of a motorcycle caught her attention. She hummed in triumph as she rolled down her window and flagged the officer over. The young man pulled up next to their car expectantly. Amelia flashed him her best smile, batting her blue eyes.

"Can I help you, ma'am?"

The young neurosurgeon looked surprised by his curtness for a moment, but the flashy smile fell back into place.

"Yes, well, we kind of have an emergency in here. My sister back there? Yeah, she's in labor and we need to get to the hospital."

Panic seeped into the officer's features. "I- this is my first week on the job! I've never delivered a baby before!"

Amelia rolled her eyes before glancing back at her sister. Addison met her eyes and glowered, silently communicating that she need to get them out of this and away from the child playing dress up _now._ The neurosurgeon turned back to the pale man standing outside her car.

"And you won't have to if you can get us to the hospital soon." Her prompting suddenly made a light bulb brighten over his head. His hand scrambled for the radio perched on his shoulder. He spoke into it urgently, his brown eyes searching for answers in the cars in front of him. Tessa leaned forward to get a good look at him and felt her eyebrows rise on their own at how handsome he was. His brown eyes were bright and eager, and the anxiety of the situation made a blush color his cheeks. Light brown curls covered his head, and even under the starched uniform he so proudly wore, she could see his muscles tensing in his long sleeves. Her eyes drifted to his name plate. James was etched defined in gold. A relieved smile grew on his face and he let out a breath. He turned back towards the passengers, good news dancing on his tongue.

"Okay, my partner said that I can give you guys a police escort, considering the circumstances." His gaze lingered on the pretty teenager sitting in the passenger seat. A flush crept Tessa's cheeks at the warmth in his eyes. She smiled coyly back at him, even more flattered when he winked at her.

Amelia frowned at the interaction between the two. She turned her piercing blue eyes on the officer and growled protectively, "She's sixteen!" That made Officer James take a few automatic steps back. Amelia tried not to let his flustered apologies make her smile, but she couldn't resist adding, "And that's her mother currently in labor in the backseat."

Officer James sputtered more apologies over his shoulder as he all but sprinted to his cycle. Tessa snorted as he took off on the vehicle, Amelia following closely behind. "You didn't have to get so defensive. He didn't know."

Tessa snorted as her aunt began to drive again. "You didn't have to get so protective."

Amelia kept her eyes on the road. "He was a grown man hitting on a teenager. My niece. I have every right to be overprotective over you."

In that instant, the smirk on her face fell like a weight from her face. She remembered what her family had gone through only last summer. For a moment, it had slipped into the back of her mind. Of course her family grew defensive when older men leered at her. She kept her mouth shut, her eyes glued to her fee. Every time she heard her mother suck in a sharp breath, she thrust her hand back to squeeze. Addison's face was flushed already, her hairline already soaked. Fortunately, with their police escort the three girls arrived at the hospital under fifteen minutes. Addison muttered her gratitude as her sister and daughter helped her out of the car.

"Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you."

Officer James nodded and directed his attention towards the two brunettes standing guard at her side. His cheeks were still red, and his eyes never landed on Tessa.

"I- I am so sorry for my behavior earlier. I didn't know how old she was, I didn't mean anything by it."

Tessa simply nodded, ready to forget. Her hand clasped around her mother's tightly, gently tugging towards the front door. An orderly flew out, pushing a wheelchair in front of him. Addison collapsed into it gratefully, still holding on to her hand.

"I assume we're heading to the maternity ward, ladies?"

Addison smiled thinly. "Gee, what makes you say that?"

Tessa leaned forward and repeatedly pushed the elevator button. "Thanks, but I can take it from here. Could you do me a favor and page Derek Shepherd? He should be getting out of surgery soon and he needs to get to the maternity ward as soon as possible if he values his life."

The orderly chuckled and jogged off. The teen held her hand on the door, waiting for Amelia to come running in. She flew in, breathless and grinning widely as she came to stand by her niece.

"Thanks for holding it. I was talking to the cop. He was apologizing, again."

Addison looked up at her, confused. "Apologizing for what?"

Amelia's eyebrows shot up. "You didn't see him flirting with your daughter?"

The red head's green eyes grew as wide as saucers. "He was flirting with Tessa?! How did I miss that?"

Tessa rolled her eyes. "I would hardly call it flirting. Besides, you were lost in the pain of contractions."

Her aunt snorted. "It was totally flirting. And don't worry, Addie. I took care of it."

Addison continued to grumble even as the elevator opened. The nurses, who knew and adored the red head, flocked around them.

"Oh, it's time to welcome Baby Shepherd into the world! We've been waiting for you to come in, Dr. Montgomery."

They all chatted as they got her situated into a room, and after paging Dr. Anderson, disappeared. It was Tessa's turn to hover now. "Mom, what can I do for you?"

Addison shook her head and gently rubbed her bump. "Nothing, honey. I'm fine right now. I just want your dad right now. I don't like doing this without him."

"Then it's a good thing you don't have to." Derek stood in the doorway in rumpled scrubs and disheveled hair from his scrub cap. Tessa loved seeing her dad in his scrubs, with the high of surgery clinging to his shoulders. In those moments, Tessa could see what everyone else in the hospital saw: the Neuro God. He rushed to his wife's side, reaching for her hand and pressing a kiss to her lips.

"Hey, Ad. How are you doing?"

The relieved smile that lip up his wife's face made his day. "Hmm, much better with you here. I was starting to think I was going to have this baby without you."

Derek shook his head. "Nope. Not going to happen."

"All right, let's see how close we are to having this baby." Dr. Anderson stood at the doorway, tugging on a pair of gloves. She moved closer with an elegant smile, nodding at each family member. Her eyes lingered on her patient.

"Dr. Montgomery, how are we? And be completely honest with me."

Addison nodded. "I'm okay. My contractions are about six minutes apart now, lasting about 45 seconds."

"Are we considering an epidural today?"

Addison winced as Dr. Anderson tested her dilation. "No."

Everyone in the room turned their attention towards her. She raised a brow back at them.

"What?"

Tessa spoke first, knowing that no matter what she said, her mother would be less likely to bite her head off. "Well, Mom are you sure? I mean it's going to hurt. A lot."

Her mother rolled her eyes. "I am well aware of that, Tessa. I have been through this once before. I didn't have an epidural with you, and I won't with your sister. I can handle it."

"I hear you, Addie, but there are significant differences since the last time you were in this position."

Addison gave him a sharp look. "Like what?"

Derek suddenly looked nervous to be in the territory he was in. "Well, you're high risk, and we've already had a lot of scares. And the fact that you're ol-"

"Derek, I think you should think very carefully before finishing that sentence."

Dr. Anderson chuckled as she backed out from between Addison's legs. "As much as I highly recommend it, it is up to the patient. Although, let me be clear. You are about seven centimeters dilated already. If you want the epidural, you need to get sooner rather than later, all right? If that's all, I'll be back to check on you later."

Addison frowned and reached for her husband's hand. She squeezed his hand tightly, making him flinch. Tessa did what she could, running her fingers gently through her hair. Finally, the pressure ceased. She turned towards her daughter, breathing deeply.

"Tess, would you braid my hair back for me please? I can't stand it in my face."

The teen smiled and gently climbed behind her mother, who had scooted up to make room. Addison moaned as Tessa wove her fingers through her hair, twining the strands back from her face in a tight French braid. She yanked off the hair tie on her wrist and wound it around the end of the braid. She patted her mom's shoulder gently for her to move. Addison ran her hand down her braid.

"Thanks, baby. That's so much better," She looked around the room at all the people surrounding her and supporting her, and felt so lucky. Amelia sucked in a deep breath, breaking the silence.

"Well, this is all very exciting, but it's still going to be a while. I'm just gonna run and check on a few patients. I'll be back before there's a baby." She pressed a kiss to her sister's temple and flew out of the room. Tessa moved the chair Amelia vacated closer to her mom's bedside. "Do you need anything?"

Addison shook her head, but stopped mid movement. She looked up at her daughter guiltily. "Could you get me some ice chips from the nurses?"

Tessa smiled, glad to be helpful. She hurried out into the hall, leaving husband and wife alone. Derek leaned down and pressed another kiss to her head. He stared down at his wife, who currently had her hands braced around her belly. The red head finally felt her husband's eyes on her.

"What?"

Derek shook his head with a smile. He looked her in the eyes he'd loved for sixteen years and fell a bit more in love. "I don't think you ever look more beautiful than when you give birth."

Addison blushed and rolled her eyes. "You're just saying that because you're afraid I'm going to break your hand later."

"No, I'm not. You are so beautiful right now, and you'll be radiant when you're holding our brand new daughter. I know. I've seen proof."

Addison grasped his hand in hers, but not to squeeze in pain, only to hold on to her safe place. "I love you, Derek. So much."

"I love you too, Addie. Mostly because you are the smartest, kindest, most beautiful woman in the world, but also because you have given me two of the most beautiful daughters. Even though we haven't met this one yet I know she's perfect just like her mom and sister."

This time when the red head grabbed Derek's hand, she squeezed-hard. Tessa came in just as a painful groan left her lips. Tessa moved quickly over to her other side and offered her free hand. Addison sighed as the contraction faded. Derek swept his hand over her head and pulled the chair he'd been using closer. Tessa looked uncertain. The chair behind her was fine, but she wanted to be closer to her mom. Even in her daze, Addison noticed her daughter's uncertainty. She patted an empty spot on the bed next to her.

"You can sit next to me, sweetheart. It won't hurt me."

Tessa did as her mother said, sitting carefully next to her mother's legs. She handed Addison the cup of ice chips she'd gotten. Her mom smiled gratefully.

"Thank you, baby."

Tessa looked around uncertainly now, knowing that they just had to wait. Wait for the next contraction and ultimately the baby. Addison's hand fell onto her daughter's.

"So, Tessa, I know we've talked about this before, but I want to make sure. Are you truly okay with having a baby sister?"

"Well, if I wasn't, isn't a little too late to do anything about it?" Tessa joked lightly. Neither of her parents laughed, but her dad smiled slightly. Addison looked like she was in pain, but Tessa couldn't tell if it was from being in labor or from her dodging the question. The teen turned somber, her eyes dropping to her hands.

"Mom, I know it took me a while to adjust to this in the beginning, but I'm fine now. I'm excited, honestly. I really am happy about Maddie."

Derek spoke suddenly. "Woah, woah, woah. Is Maddie official? Like more official than Ella?"

Tessa nodded. "Yeah. Well, actually it's Madelyn. We haven't decided on a middle name yet."

"Do I have a say in that one?"

"Maybe."

Addison hissing in pain and locking on both of their hands made their playful banter cease. Derek grabbed a towel sitting on the table quickly to mop her brow. Tears squeezed out of the corner of her eyes as she breathed in shallow gasps. Tessa winced as her mother fell against the pillows stacked behind her.

"Mom, are you completely sure you don't want an epidural? It's probably not too late to get one."

Her mother shook her head. "No. I don't need one."

Knocking at the door made all of their heads snap up. Dr. Anderson stood there, calm smile on her face. She was already snapping on gloves. She moved closer to her patient and proper up her knees.

"Contractions are closer together, I see. I think we may have a baby in just a couple of hours," She went quiet as she did her exam. Her brow furrowed, making the Shepherd family tense. Addison wanted badly to adjust herself, to see what was wrong, but she knew staying still was her best option.

"Dr. Anderson, what is going on?" She'd forgone the "mom" voice and went straight to "Dr. Montgomery."

Her OB looked up, and withdrew her hand. "Your baby is breech. You're actually at ten centimeters, zero face. You're ready to deliver, just not to a breech baby. I wouldn't normally be so concerned, but with all of the risks we've encountered, it's worrying me. I don't want to take a chance turning her, so I highly suggest a c- section. Actually, no. It's not a suggestion; it's what we're going to do. I'll go book an OR."

Addison arms tightened around her belly protectively. "Well, this is not what I expected. I don't want a c- section. I wanted to just deliver my baby, with both of you beside me."

Tessa leaned forward and gently tucked a wisp of hair behind her mother's ear. "You'll have Dad. You heard Dr. Anderson. It has to happen. I want to be there too, but I want you to be safe more than anything. And don't act like the world class surgeon you are. Act like a mom. Don't act like it's your OR, okay? Promise me."

Tessa made her mom look her directly into the eyes they shared. Addison wanted nothing more to scoff and say that she was always the perfect patient, always did as she instructed. But, she saw how serious her daughter was. She was scared, and desperately trying to hide it. She feared the worst, and how could she not? Their family had been in through the ringer the past year, and now, the universe owed them- big time.

"Mom, I need you to promise me right now. Let Dr. Anderson do her job." Tessa waited, unflinching, unblinking.

"I promise, Tessa. I promise I will behave." The teen nodded, taking her word. Amelia poked her head in with a smile that quickly turned into a frown at the serious faces that stared back at her. Her blue eyes flew between her family as she shuffled closer, her hand reaching for Tessa. She always reached for Tessa first.

"What is it? What's going on?"

Addison cleared her throat. "Nothing. Well, not nothing. I have to have a C-section. The baby's breech and she doesn't want to take a chance. I'll be fine."

Amelia visibly relaxed, releasing her hold on Tessa's shoulder. "Oh," She barked out a sharp laugh. "I thought something was like, seriously wrong. C- Sections are no big deal. Addie does like five a day."

Tessa leaned against Amelia's side, looking completely spent. Addison turned her head quizzically at her.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Then, as the question left her mouth, she remembered. "Oh, Tess, you still don't feel well, do you?"

"No, I'm fine. Really, I feel better. I'm just tired," An elegant eyebrow raised said more than any words could. "I swear I'm fine. Don't worry about me, please."

Addison opened her mouth to argue, but a painful groan came out instead. Derek quickly offered out his hand and she latched onto it. Dr. Anderson came rushing in, a horde of nurses following behind her. They swarmed around Addison's bed, forcing Amelia and Tessa to the corner of the room. They prepped the surgeon quickly, tucking her flaming locks into a hairnet and making sure she was aware of the components of the procedure. Of course she was, but it was strange being the one informed instead of the one informing. She kept a hold of Derek's hand as they unlocked her bed and began to push her out of the room. She braced her hands on the rails on both sides of her to get them to stop.

"Wait! Tessa, come here," She beckoned her daughter close, looking nervous. Tessa approached, reaching out for her mom. Addison cupped her hands around her cheeks and pressed a loving kiss on her forehead. "I'll be fine, sweetheart. Me and your baby sister will be just fine in recovery soon, okay? I love you more than anything."

Tessa blinked away worried tears, and quickly wrapped her arms around her mom's neck. "I love you too, Mom. I'll see you soon."

Addison nodded reassuringly, and allowed for her to be rolled away, Derek at her side. Amelia gripped Tessa to her again, rubbing her shoulders comfortingly. The teen looked up curiously, a sneaky smile on her face. The brunette gave her the same look back.

"What are you thinking, kiddo?"

Tessa shrugged her shoulders innocently. "Nothing. Well, I was just wondering if you knew what OR Mom will be going in."

Amelia smiled and pressed loud kiss to the side of her niece's head. "You are one sneaky little goodie-two shoes, you know that? And I don't know where she's going, but I know where we can find out."

"I get it from you."

Amelia snorted as they made their way into the hall. "The sneaky part, most definitely. I highly doubt the goodie-two shoes part. I do not have that gene."

The two brunettes hurried to the surgical floor to check the OR board. OR 2. OR 2 had a gallery, and Tessa planned to be in it. Amelia was hesitant to take her there, though.

"Tess, are you sure that you want to go in there? Are you sure you want to see your mom cut open? That's the kind of image you won't ever forget."

Tessa nodded. "Yes. I want to be there for her, even if I can't actually be there for her. I was going to be in the delivery room with her; what's the difference?"

"Well, for starters, she wasn't going to split open with a scalpel. You also probably didn't plan on moving past her knees, were you? You've never seen a live surgery before, especially one on your mother."

Tessa paused in her mission to turn and give her aunt a defiant look. "I can handle it. I'm going, and you can't stop me. It won't exactly be hard for me to walk into the gallery; I'm the darling of this hospital. I would much rather have you there with me, but if you'd be uncomfortable…"

Amelia was visibly surprised at her tone, and raised her hands defensively. "Hey, I was just making sure. I'm not letting you go in there alone. C'mon then."

As they hurried through the hospital, Amelia gave her niece an impressive glance. "You're scary sometimes, you know that? I could see just how tough you are right then."

Tessa smirked as the elevator door opened and she all but sprinted to the gallery door. She pushed it open without hesitation to see her mother already in the middle of the OR, an IV in her hand and monitors already beeping steadily around her. Her body was already draped, except for her large belly, which had already been covered in betadine. Derek was covered in a protective gown, a surgical mask covering his face and his dark hair tucked into his scrub cap. Addison's face was drenched in anxiety, mostly from not being able to see the procedure that came as naturally to her as breathing, as it was being performed on her own body and child. Tessa all but pressed her face against the glass, her sweaty palms leaving a print. She waved gently, catching her father's eye. He did a double take, not quite believing at first that his daughter was up in the surgical gallery where she most assuredly not supposed to be. He simply shook his head, his smile hidden behind the protective mask. He contemplated bending down and whispering to his wife to look up and to the left, but he thought better of it. She had enough on her mind besides worrying about her oldest child breaking hospital rules. Dr. Anderson and her intern came in from the scrub room, sterilized to perfection. The elegant woman stepped up to the table, her eyes bright. She bent down to look at her patient and colleague.

"Okay, Addison. Are you ready to welcome your baby daughter to the world?"

The red head took the deepest breath she could. "Yes, very."

Tessa winced as Dr. Anderson held the scalpel in her hand like an extension of her limb, and gently swiped it across the bottom of her belly, a line of blood following. She had to avert her eyes when her hands reached in to deliver her baby sister. She felt a hand creep up on to her shoulder and knew that Amelia was standing behind her.

"I thought you could watch it." The neurosurgeon's voice was light and teasing in her ear.

Tessa barely glanced at her, a small smile gracing her lips. "Yeah, well, I was wrong. I know she can't feel that much, but still…"

"I know, I know. You two can't stand to see either of you in pain."

"You make it sound like a bad thing that I don't want to see my beloved mother in pain."

Amelia shook her head with a small smile. "No, kiddo, it's not. I love how close you two are. Gives me hope that I can be like that with my kid some day."

Tessa glanced at her aunt in surprise. "You want kids? I'm not enough?" There was no animosity in her voice; only interest.

Amelia laughed softly. "No, you're perfect. I just want my own kids, you know? I'd consider myself lucky if they turned out half as wonderful as you."

Tessa opened her mouth to make a smart comment, but the glistening, beautiful, and slightly gross sight of her baby sister slipping out into the hands of Dr. Anderson caught her eye and her breath caught in her throat. Tears pooled in her eyes as the infant writhed and cried for the first time. The entire world disappeared as she pressed her fingertips against the glass, wishing she was actually touching her baby sister. And then she realized that the entire OR was silent, save the steady beeping of monitors. The baby wasn't making a sound. Dr. Anderson quickly cut the cord, separating the newborn and mother in more ways than one. She passed the infant into the hands of a nurse, who all but flew to the small exam table. Derek looked torn at Addison's head, his wife already badgering her doctor with questions, breaking the silence.

"What's wrong with her? What's going on with my baby?!"

"Fix her!" The choked command flew out of the teen's lips, surprising her. of course, they couldn't hear her. She sounded scared, but she felt nothing; she was numb. Dr. Anderson's capable hands flew, closing the gaping hole the baby had been delivered from. Her eyes shot upwards for barely a heartbeat. With the last suture tied into place, the OB left her patient's side to tend to her daughter. The OR fell silent again, only Addison's worried sobs mixing with her racing heartbeat, the beeping echoing off the sterile walls. Dr. Anderson slipped a tiny breathing tube past the brand new little lips, straight into her unused little lungs. The doctor took over, squeezing air into the baby's body. Her tiny chest rose and fell with the force of her squeezing, color already starting to return to her pale cheeks. She jerked her head towards the door, her team immediately jumping into action. As they reached the door, Dr. Anderson turned her attention back to her patient and colleague.

"I'm going to do everything I can to help your baby, Addison. i'm taking her straight to Arizona."

Derek stuttered a few steps to follow them, but stopped, turning to look down at his wife. Addison's eyes were glued to the door her newest daughter had just been rushed through. Tears soaked into her hairline, making her green eyes swim. Derek bent down quickly, pressing a kiss to her hairnet.

"She's going to be just fine, Addie. She's the best doctor we could ask for. She'll be fine."

The red head said nothing, just nodded and allowed the nurses still gathered around her to roll her towards recovery, tears still on her cheeks.

Tessa watched the entire scene from the gallery, Amelia once again at her side. She quickly turned around and dashed down the hall, her aunt close behind.

"Where are you going, kiddo?"

Tessa didn't turn around or slow her rapid speed. "To PEDS. I want to see what's happening to my baby sister."

"Do you really think Arizona or Alex will let you in there while they're trying to save her life?"

"Alex will do anything I say, and Arizona loves me. I run this hospital."

"Is that so?" A commanding voice sounded behind both of them, and they slid to a stop. Bailey stood there, hands on her hips. An intimidating eyebrow was arched high on her forehead. "Because, until you made that comment, I was sure I ran this hospital. I didn't realize they gave Chief of Surgery to troublesome teenagers now."

Tessa stared the small woman down. "Dr. Bailey, I don't have time to explain what you already know."

"You don't? And why is that?"

"My mother just gave birth and my baby sister wasn't breathing. I want to know why, and I want to know she's okay."

"And they'll just let you into restricted areas of the hospital at your command like your aunt just did?"

Tessa twisted her fingers in the hem of her tee, torn between placating the Chief of Surgery and continuing on her path to her sister. She quickly made up her mind.

"Look, I'm sorry I broke hospital protocol, but I didn't want to miss my baby sister be born. I was afraid that if I wasn't there, my mom and sister would die. So many bad things have happened to me and my family, I expect them. The people that mean the most to me dying would be the icing on the cake of my tragic life, and my sister might be dying as we stand here discussing a breach in protocol. What's more important?" She knew she was laying on the guilt trip a little too thick, but it seemed to be working. Bailey softened, her tense posture loosening.

"Please don't be mad at Amelia. She wasn't going to take me, but I told her I would in without her. She just didn't want me to be alone. She was just making sure I was all right."

The tiny, intense general surgeon pinned her gaze on her neurosurgeon. Her brown eyes asked her if that was indeed true. Amelia shifted closer behind Tessa, nodding vigorously.

"It's true. I didn't want her to be alone. Watching your mother being sliced open and having a baby yanked out of her torso is quite traumatic."

"Well, if she hadn't been in the gallery in the first place, it wouldn't have mattered. If you were any other doctor's child, I'd have you banned from this hospital. But, considering how both of your parents are chiefs of two departments, your superstar mother has just given birth, and this whole damn hospital is wrapped around your little finger, I'll let it slide- this time."

Tessa sagged in relief, and taking all of them by surprise, pulled Bailey against her quickly. She released her grip and took off, her feet carrying her instinctively to PEDs. She wasn't even sure if Amelia was behind her anymore; all she knew was that her baby sister, her Madelyn wasn't right. She couldn't get the image of her pale, blue tinged body lying limp in her doctor's hands out of her mind. The sight of Arizona working over a tiny infant, protective gown covering her blue scrubs. Tessa yanked a gown on, hardly pausing to tie it correctly. She slipped into the room, right up next to Arizona.

"What's going on?"

Arizona's head turned to her sharply, her normally smiling blue eyes hard. She softened when she saw the teenager standing at her elbow. Her attention quickly shifted back to the baby moving sluggishly under her fingers.

"I thought you were your mother. Tessa, I've got everything under control. Go see your mom, okay? I'll be in to see her shortly."

"No. I don't want her to be alone."

Arizona tsked, slipping a stethoscope in to her ear. "She's not alone. I'm right here. You trust me with her, right?"

Tessa nodded slowly.

"Okay then. Really, go."

Tessa eyed her baby sister closely. Her tiny eye lids were closed tightly, blissfully unaware of what was going on around her. Tears built in her own green eyes, but she blinked them away.

"Hurry, Zona."

With heavy feet, Tessa left the doctor to work. Her eyes fell to her feet; she didn't bother to lift her head. When a pair of athletic shoes blocked her path and heavy hands fell on her shoulders, the teen glanced up sullenly. Alex stood in front of her, his brown eyes soft. Tessa fell against him, her face burying into his scrubs.

"Hey, it's okay. The baby's gonna be fine. She's your sister, so she's already ridiculously strong."

Tessa nodded against him, her fingers grasping at his back. "How did you know already? She's like five minutes old."

"The two most popular doctors in this hospital just had a baby that had to be rushed to the NICU. Did you really think that was going to stay under the radar?"

The teary teen gave a small laugh. "No, I suppose not. Have you seen Mom?"

"No, I haven't. I passed Amelia on the way here, and she said that she was worried about you. I think she's there. Want me to take you?"

Tessa nodded and allowed her old friend to escort through the halls. He kept her tucked under his strong arm, blocking nosy interns and nurses from asking any questions. They arrived at Addison's room quickly, Alex hanging back in the doorway. Addison was in Derek's arms, looking numb. Her hands sat in her lap, her eyes were still and dull. Tessa stepped carefully into the room, looking uneasily over her shoulder. What could see say to make this better?

"I saw her." The words leapt off her tongue without any thought, but it caught both of her parent's attention. Addison didn't look at her; her eyes stayed aimed straight up to the ceiling.

"Is she- is she alive?"

Tessa closed the distance between them and grabbed her mother's hands. She hated how she knew the blank stare she was looking into was hiding a wall of fear. She opened her mouth to reassure her, but another voice beat her to it.

"Yes, she is."

Arizona stood in the doorway, face grave. She stepped farther into the room and gave a brief smile. "Your baby is alive, and quite the little fighter. There was some amniotic fluid blocking her airway, so she is now on a C-PAP. She's already breathing about 50% stronger, but I want it to be more. I'm going to leave her on it overnight, and check on her in the morning. Would you like to see her?"

Addison released the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Her baby was alive. Both of her wonderful babies were alive. She could feel Derek relax against her body, and she knew without turning her head that a smile was growing on his face. "Yes, yes please."

Arizona smiled brightly, more like her sunny self. "All righty, then. I'm going to get mommy a wheel chair and take you down there to visit your little girl."

Addison prepared herself, attempting to sit up on her own. She winced as her sutures tugged and Derek gently pulled back on her shoulder.

"Easy, Ad. Don't hurt yourself. You just had major abdominal surgery. Just wait a moment."

Arizona popped back in pushing a wheel chair. Four people raced to help her up, but Derek and the preppy PEDs surgeon aided her into the chair. Her long fingers gripped the arm rests tightly. She sat on the edge of her seat as best she could, leaning forward as they got closer to the nursery. Derek took over pushing her over, and he parked her gently sideways next to the incubator housing her youngest baby girl. Her absolutely breathtaking, wonderful, gorgeous baby girl. The C-PAP tube disappeared down her nose, but her little chest rising and falling steadily reassured her. She had already fallen head over heels in love with her baby girl.

"Oh," The gasp left her mouth, a choked, overjoyed laugh escaping right after. "Oh, you're so beautiful. You're perfect." Her hand slid through the small opening and moved to gently caress her newborn's arm. The soft skin didn't surprise her; she touched newborns every day. But this baby, _her_ baby had the softest skin in the world. Her fingers traveled to her head, brushing through the wisps of red hair on her little head.

"She looks just like you, Ad. She's the most beautiful baby. we're so lucky."

Arizona came around her other side, proudly smiling down at her tiny patient. "You are. She's doing well, besides her breathing. She was 18 inches long, 6lbs. 10 oz. Born exactly at 6:21 P.M. You two make some little fighters."

Addison's eyes didn't leave her peaceful newborn's face. _Her perfect little Madelyn._ "We do."

The surgeon glanced up at her patient's older sister, who hung back behind her parents. It struck her odd, seeing as how eager the teenager was to ensure the welfare of the baby earlier.

"Tessa, would you like to come closer?" The teen glanced up, surprised at being noticed. Derek finally looked back, tearing his eyes away from Madelyn. He frowned as his daughter fiddled with her sleeve, stepping forward nervously. Arizona held out her arm, beckoning the teen closer. Tessa stepped up, her hand automatically coming up to the top of the incubator. The blonde doctor leaned closer to her ear and whispered, "You can put your hand right in there and touch her. it's good for her to have contact. Go ahead."

Tessa did as she said, and slowly reached her hand inside. Her fingers traced lightly on the baby's arm, and to everyone's immense surprise and happiness, the baby opened her eyes for the first time. The cloudy cobalt orbs opened looking directly into her older sister's wide green ones. the first thing that she ever saw was her quickly falling older sister. That was all it took. Tessa was hooked on the little girl in front of her. She was now hers, forever.

"Hi, Madelyn. It's so nice to meet you." The greeting left her body in a whisper, meant only for her baby sister to hear. The little blue eyes flickered closed; being born obviously was exhausting work. Tessa slowly let go, allowing her baby sister to fall back asleep. Addison looked up at her oldest quizzically, an overjoyed smile on her face. The teen had a feeling that she would be wearing for a while.

"Well, what do you think, sweetheart? Can we keep her?"

Tessa snorted softly. "After all that we went through to get her, you bet."

The family sat with their newest addition for hours, simply staring and cooing every time she moved. They were all entranced. Tessa shuffled behind her mom and dad as he wheeled back to her room.

"I know we didn't want to leave her back there, but Addie, my beautiful wife, you need to sleep."

Addison began to protest, but was cut off by a yawn. "Okay," Her tired eyes found her daughter rubbing her eyes tiredly. "You doing okay, baby?"

Tessa nodded swiftly. "Yeah, just really, really tired. Not anything compared to you, though."

Addison chuckled softly as Derek aided in her getting into bed. "8 hours of labor certainly isn't fun. Of course, you put me through 16 hours of labor, so thanks."

"You're welcome. Goodnight Mom, I love you. Thank you for a beautiful sister."

Derek stood up indignantly. "Hey, I made her too."

Tessa wrapped her arms around his waist tightly. "Yes, but you didn't cut your stomach cut open to have her be removed from your body. Goodnight, Dad. I love you."

"I love you too, Tess."

Addison held out her arms for her own hug and Tessa obliged, bending and gently squeezing her mother. She felt a feather light kiss on her temple and then pulled back. "Goodnight, baby girl. I love you so much."

The shepherds settled down soon after their good nights. Tessa lay awake on a cot not far away from her mom. She rolled over to look at her, glad she was asleep. Tessa sat up quietly, her eyes still on her mother. Addison looked happier than she'd ever been in months, since Tessa first came home; worry had clouded the smile she wore most of the time then. Tessa slipped out of her room and down the hall. The PEDs floor was silent and dark, and yet somehow still colorful. She slipped passed the nursery, wishing her Madelyn was sleeping in there instead of an incubator. Finally she reached the NICU, and carefully slipped on a gown. Her sister was asleep, and she hesitated to touch her tiny hand. The baby squeezed instinctively, her whole fist wrapping the middle of her older sister's finger.

"Hey, Maddie. I didn't properly introduce myself to you earlier. I'm Tessa, your older sister. I apparently wanted you for a while when I was little, but I have to say that I wasn't too thrilled about the idea of you when I first found out you existed. I know that's probably not a very nice thing to hear, but I want to be completely honest with you; you know, to set a good example and all? I can't believe I thought that now. I already love you so much I didn't know it was possible," She paused, knowing that was an earful for a newborn. "You don't get to scare us like you did today ever again. That's my thing, okay? You're already the cutest daughter; you can't be the troublesome one, too."

"I love you, Madelyn Rose Montgomery Sheperd. I hope Mom and Dad won't mind I gave you a middle name, too."

 **Madelyn Rose Montgomery Shepherd**

 **6lbs, 10 oz**

 **6:21, March 30, 2016**

* * *

 **And we have a baby! the youngest Shepherd couldn't come into the world without a little drama. anyways, i'm sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out; i just wanted it to be perfect. i hope i did it justice. the next chapter will be filled with family bondings! Thanks for reading, guys!**


	31. Soft as a Rose

Addison winced as she stretched, the early morning sun shining through the partially open blinds. A smile grew on her face as she realized just why her midsection ached so terribly. She had a baby yesterday. A beautiful, perfect baby. Madelyn. Derek was passed out still in a chair a few feet away, his head tilted back painfully far. He'd be wincing when he woke up, too. A muffled moan sounded from her left, and the red head smiled as she turned to see her beautiful teenager coming to on a cot. Tessa sat up, her hands coming to rub her eyes in an adorably sleepy way. She had such gorgeous daughters.

"Morning, Mom. How'd you sleep? Do you feel okay?" Tessa clambered out of the mess of blankets she had entangled herself in. Her dark hair was tousled from her sleep and her green eyes sparkled with the sun shining in them. Addison reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her closer. The teen parked herself next to her thigh, smiling.

"I slept fine. Better than fine, actually. I haven't slept that well in nine months. And, I feel pretty good, all things considered. Getting my stomach cut open didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would. Or, maybe I'm just too happy to be in pain."

It was true; pure, undiluted happiness was swimming through her veins. Her baby had born in a whirlwind of activity and fear, but she was a Montgomery- Shepherd. She was eight hours old and already so strong. And perfect. Tessa smiled at her words.

"You should be. Would you like to see her this morning? Or is that a ridiculous question?"

Addison grinned and cupped her daughter's cheek. "Yeah, I do. Should we wake your dad? He looks pretty uncomfortable there."

Tessa got up quietly and crept over to her father's chair. His soft snores vibrated in his throat. She gently reached out and shook his arm. "Dad? Dad, wake up. We're going to see the baby."

Her voice roused him, and he jerked awake. A groan erupted from his throat as his hand flew up to rub the back of his neck. "Oh, I forgot how hard it is to sleep in one of these stupid chairs."

"I'll get you some medicine later. C'mon, let's go see the baby!"

"Or she can come see you." Arizona's sunny voice at the door had them all spinning around. In front of her scrub clad legs, a clear bassinet held a tightly swaddled bundle that made the Shepherds' hearts swell. Arizona pushed it in farther, parking the infant right next to her mother. The PEDs surgeon gently lifted the sleeping Madelyn into her arms, cradling her to her chest. Addison hesitated slightly before accepting the baby, looking up at her doctor curiously.

"She's okay? She can breathe?"

"She can. Perfectly, actually. I came in this morning, expecting to see slight improvement in her sats, but they were much better than I ever imagined they could be after only one night. Now, I know you pumped for her last night, and I'm sure she's going to hungry in a few minutes, but I suggest you try to slip in some skin-to-skin time before. She missed out on it yesterday, so any kind of bonding will be extremely beneficial. Do you need assistance for her to nurse?"

Addison barely moved to shake her head as Arizona slipped her daughter into her arms. "No," The murmur was soft and distracted, but filled with adoration. "No, we'll be just fine."

The doctor took her cue and backed out of the room, but the red head didn't notice her departure. All she saw was her baby girl, rosy cheeked and perfect, dozing in her arms. Her cheeks were plump and rosy, cherub like. The baby inherited her mom's nose- thankfully- but Addison had a strong feeling that Derek's eyes would be looking up at her from her little one's face. Her finger traced the outline of her face, starting at the fuzzy red hair poking out beneath a small hat, down her cheek, and landing on her angelically perfect chin. Tessa leaned forward, trying not to break the bond forming between the two. She saw the bond she had with her mother form right before her eyes, and in that moment, saw a glimpse of just how much her mother loved her.

Derek peeked over his wife's shoulder to gaze lovingly at his newest daughter. She looked so much like his wife it startled him. Both of his girls looked so much like their mother, it almost hurt. Only Tessa had his dark hair. He'd been hoping before her arrival that she would be a carbon copy of him, as much as Tessa was to Addison. But, now that he was seeing her up close, without a tube covering her face, he realized just how wonderful she was, just as she was. His finger gently brushed her tiny closed fist that rested next to her cheek. She gurgled, her eyes still closed, and latched onto his finger. He felt his heart constrict and beat two times larger in time with that squeeze. "Well, Miss Madelyn, it's lovely to see you so close. It's me, your daddy."

Next to Derek, Addison let out the tiniest little hiccup. Both her husband and daughter turned to her in surprise, but her attention was only on the baby.

"Oh, my little one. I waited for so long to meet you. I love you, I love you, love you." The baby squirmed, her little eyes fluttering open in response to her voice. A gurgle burst out from past her little lips, making her family chuckle. Madelyn opened and closed her mouth eagerly, alerting her mom to the fact that she was indeed hungry. Tessa smiled as her mother lowered her hospital gown and guided her baby sister to her chest. She knew this is where she bowed out and let her parents get to know their new child. They didn't seem to notice her backing out of the room; their full attention was pinned to the infant now. She tried to ignore the pang of hurt that echoed in her heart as she realized that her leaving a room didn't send her mother into a worried tizzy. She tried to ignore the small voice that insisted that she had been replaced. Her feet carried to the surgical floor, and she scoured the surgery board for anything interesting. Maggie had a heart transplant, and Meredith had already performed a Whipple this morning; Tessa realized it was later than she thought. It was already 11. Amelia unfortunately was in an emergency craniotomy; with her dad taking time off to help with Madelyn, Tessa wouldn't be seeing a lot of her aunt in the coming weeks. She missed her already. A hand came down on her shoulder, making her jump. Meredith stood on her left, smirking.

"So I hear congratulations are in order."

Tessa smiled, thinking of the baby. "Yeah, I guess so. Did you see her?"

Meredith shook her head. "No, I didn't stop by yet. It's still awkward to see your mom sometimes. I mean we work together and get along fine, but still very uncomfortable. I didn't know how safe it would be with the factors of a new baby and her family all in the same room. I didn't want to ignite any post birth hormones."

The teen gave her a skeptical look. "She doesn't have a problem with you, and you know it. You saved my life. You testified on my behalf. Your good actions outweigh the bad."

The blonde chuckled softly. "I'm glad you think so. New babies are a very good thing. Zola is constantly begging for a little brother," She sighed now, her gaze far away. "I wish I could give her one, but I have enough time to devote to her, let alone divide it by another child. She doesn't see it, but just being Mommy and Zo-Zo works just right for us."

Tessa patted her arm gently. "I think you need to cuddle a baby. Come with me."

The two made their way back to Addison's room, taking a moment in the doorway. Tessa poked her head in first, making sure her mother had finished nursing. Derek had Madelyn now, tucked against his shoulder as he patted her tiny back, his hand almost engulfing her. Addison smiled at her oldest poking her head into the room.

"There you are. I'd wondered where you'd gotten off to. Did you bring a visitor?" the red head strained her neck trying to see who lingered behind her daughter. Tessa smirked gently over her shoulder before stepping into the room farther. Meredith stepped in timidly. Derek smiled brightly, gently bouncing on the balls of his feet for the baby's benefit.

"Hey, Meredith. Come to see our bundle of joy?"

The blonde nodded, her eye glued to the tiny girl in his arms. Derek gently lowered her from his shoulder to cradle the infant against his chest. Meredith gasped as Madelyn came into full view.

"Oh, Addison, she's gorgeous!" She reached out eagerly to hold her, but hesitated to glance at her former adversary. Addison was smiling happily, eyes pinned to her baby. The surgeon took that as permission to hold her. Meredith gently scooped her into her arms, cooing all the while.

"Oh, you are cutest! God, I could look at you all day long. You have your mama's hair, don't you? I bet you're gonna just like her, aren't you? You are so going to give your daddy a heart attack when you're a teenager."

Derek let out a distressed whine. "Don't talk about her being a teenager yet! I just got her!"

Meredith laughed, adjusting the baby in her arms. "What's her name?"

Addison finally spoke. "Madelyn. We don't have a middle name for her yet."

Tessa cleared her throat and came to stand next to Meredith. "Well… that's not exactly true."

Her mom looked surprised. "Oh, you have an idea?"

The brunette chuckled awkwardly. "I sorta already gave her one. I might've already told all of the nurses what it was."

Her dad frowned confusedly. "When?"

Tessa fingered the hem of her sweatshirt. "Last night. After you guys fell asleep, I went to go see her. I talked to her for a while, and a name just slipped out."

Addison sighed dramatically. "What is it?"

Tessa paused, looking at her baby sister with a fond smile growing on her face. "Madelyn Rose."

"Rose?"

"Yes. She's so soft like a rose petal, and brand new. I guess I should've asked you guys first, but she waved her little hand after I said it, so I figured I had her approval."

Derek shook his head but wrapped his oldest daughter in his arms. Tessa tucked her face into his chest, feeling completely safe and secure.

"Tessa Adrianne and Madelyn Rose; now my family is complete."

From the cradle of Meredith's arms, Madelyn began to stir and whimper. Addison instinctively angled her body towards her baby, but Meredith gently bounced her and her whimpers ceased. Suddenly, Meredith looked up at the teenager, a peculiar look on her face.

"Have you had a chance to hold her yet, Tess?"

Full attention swiveled to the squirming teenaged girl standing next to her father. Derek looked between his daughters with concern. "Tess? Have you held the baby yet?"

"No, she hasn't," Addison spoke for her daughter. "She hasn't even asked to hold her yet." Her voice was saturated in guilt and sadness.

Tessa frowned at her expression and words. "It's not because I didn't want to. She was sort of unavailable last night, and this morning, I just thought it was her time with you guys. You've been waiting so long…"

Meredith snorted, and with one arm supporting the baby, directed Tessa gently to the empty chair next to her leg. Tessa automatically sat, her body tensing as the baby was suddenly slipped into her arms. The teen gasped as her arms automatically cradled Madelyn against her chest, once again sleeping peacefully. Her arms just molded around her tiny frame. Tessa finally got a close up look of the baby she'd first loathed the arrival of and now completely adored. Madelyn's little lips, slightly open, entranced her. Then, her eyes squeezed together before popping open. For the second time in her brand new little life, Madelyn made heavenly eye contact with her older sister. A soft sob escaped her unnoticed, and once again Tessa was under the spell of an infant. The little girl raised her little fist up to rest against her cheek and Tessa gently touched the soft little fingers. Madelyn in return wrapped her entire hand around her older sister's fingertip, squeezing hard. Tessa bent down to the newborn's head to sniff the smell of a baby that she'd only heard rumors about. She looked up with unshed tears in her eyes.

"See? She even smells like roses."

Addison laughed tearfully. "Yeah, I guess she does. Oh, let me get a picture of the two of you. This is just the best day of my life."

Meredith stood behind the two girls, proud smirk on her face. She was well aware of what she'd done. The blonde bent down and pressed a kiss to the teen's temple before backing out of the room. She paused at the doorway, a glowing smile on her face.

"Congratulations, you guys. She's beautiful."

Tessa smiled down as her sister continued to slumber in her arms. Guilt suddenly pooled in her stomach as she remembered how much she resented the existence of this beautiful baby girl. She had wished that this baby hadn't existed. She had said that this innocent little girl who had her tiny hands wrapped around her heart would ruin her life. What had she been thinking?

Suddenly holding Madelyn and the guilt in her heart was too much. Her breathing hitched, and she stood up, holding the baby away from her body. Derek instinctively took his youngest baby girl away from his oldest. Obviously befuddled, Addison looked curiously at her daughter.

"Tessa? Sweetheart, what's the matter?"

Tessa looked away and tugged her fingers through her tangled locks. "N-Nothing. I just need to go do something…"

She trailed off as she quickly exited the room. God, she was bringing so much baggage to that sweet little baby's life unintentionally. She couldn't do that. Madelyn didn't deserve that. She deserved a perfect life with the most wonderful parents she could ask for. Tessa knew how much she deserved Addison and Derek. Madelyn was their second chance. She was already so perfect; she would survive and thrive past the age of sixteen without being psychologically damaged like her big sister. Somehow, while lost in her myriad of thoughts, she ended up on the roof. It was overcast as usual, but there was no sign of rain. She shook her head. Lost within her own mind, Tessa stared out into the city of her heart. The Emerald City. Her own Oz. She was lucky to live here, and Madelyn would be lucky to grow up here. New York wasn't for the Shepherd's; Seattle would always be home. Tessa sighed as her thoughts drifted back to the little girl safely stowed in her mother's arms floor _s_ below. She didn't need Tessa in her life. She didn't know who Tessa was; she could leave and the baby would be none the wiser, raised in the shadow of the sister she never knew. Tessa disregarded the thought almost immediately. There was no way she could do that to her parents, and she was ashamed the thought even entered her mind. She'd been gone four months and now she thought she could run away? No, leaving wouldn't solve anything. Running away from her problems wouldn't solve anything.

"What am I going to do?" She asked the universe aloud, never expecting an answer.

"Do about what?" Of course, she should've expected the husky, ever present voice of her aunt. Tessa didn't even bother to turn around. Amelia would always be a few steps behind her. Or, right behind her; close enough to put her arms around the teen's shoulders.

Amelia sighed. "I saw you take off up here, so I waited a few minutes, and then followed. I was worried. You looked awful, considering that you just became a big sister-" She cut herself off as the explanation of her niece's disturbed behavior burst in her mind. She pulled back and stepped in front of Tessa.

"That's the problem? The baby? Is something wrong with her?"

Tessa refused to meet her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with her."

Her aunt now looked extremely puzzled. She thought she'd hit the nail on the head. "What is it then?"

Tessa wrapped her arms around herself tightly, shivering. "There's something wrong with _me."_

Amelia hummed in disagreement before slipping her index finger under her niece's chin to force her to look her in the eye.

"Tessa, that is not true. There is nothing wrong with you. I know that's hard to understand after all you've been through, but it hasn't ruined you. I know what you're thinking, and I swear to God Tessa Adrianne if you leave this hospital or city without anyone knowing I will kill you. You do not leave my sight until you're feeling better about yourself. I will tell your mother what you're planning, and don't think I won't."

Tessa nodded vigorously, and sniffed hard. "Don't tell her. Amelia, I don't want to run away; I wouldn't do that to you guys. I love the baby, but she doesn't-"

"Don't you dare say she doesn't need you, because she does. Your mom and dad need you. I need you. This whole entire hospital needs you. That little baby needs you so much, and you need her. That's the thing about siblings. You think you don't need them, that you would be doing yourself or them a favor for leaving home, or not speaking to them. It hurts, how much siblings need each other. You know that I would be dead without your dad, my brother? You wouldn't have me without him, and that kills me. It's always in the back of mind, but I bet you anything he doesn't even think about it. Because he's my brother, and he's always protected me and always will. That is what siblings do, and that's what you'll do for Maddie, I know it."

Tessa darted her wet eyes away from her aunt's piercing stare. The logical part of her, the part of her that she relied on the most, knew Amelia was right. The part of her that still woke up screaming in the middle of the night couldn't see through the fog of disgust that clouded her mind when she thought of her recent past. That part of her was so much harder to convince.

"I know you're right, but-"

"There is no but, Tessa. There's a lot going on in your life, I know, and you have to share your doting parents for the first time ever. This will not be easy but you will not give up, you hear me?"

"Amelia, you aren't listening to me! I want to be there for her, but what if I mess her up? What if I hurt her because I am so screwed up? And don't say I'm not because I have serious issues."

The older woman frowned, finally understanding what her niece was trying to tell her. "You're worried that because a psycho freak kidnapped you, that will somehow effect your baby sister? How?"

Tessa ran her fingers through her tangled locks, frustrated. "I don't know! I'm just scared I'll hurt her! She doesn't deserve me for a sister."

"Tessa, she does. Look, you're already trying to protect and you've only known her for less than a day. Like it or not, you're already a big sister."

Amelia pulled her niece against her, holding her tight. Tessa clung back to her, breathing hard. "It's hard to love someone this much."

Amelia chuckled softly. "Now you know how I feel about you, kiddo. I'm literally scared about how much I love you, and now the new little one. But, between you and me, you'll always have such a special place in my heart."

"Can you promise me something?"

"Anything, kiddo."

Tessa pulled back and looked her aunt in the eye. "I don't want Maddie to ever know about what happened to me. I never want her to look at me like everyone else does. Promise me that she'll never know."

The surgeon nodded solemnly and reached up to cup her niece's cheek. "If that's what you want, that's what we'll do. Now, let's get you home and cleaned up. No offense, but you kind of smell."

The duo slowly made their way back to Addison's room, and Amelia offered to take Tessa home to change and get some food for everyone. Derek offered to go with them, but his daughter insisted that the three of them got to know each other better, or at least try to get some sleep.

"Dad, you slept in an arm chair last night, and I know your back is not thanking you right now. Take the couch and get some real sleep. Amelia and I will bring food back and everything will be just fine. You don't need to worry."

Addison snorted from her place in bed, her hand draped over Madelyn's chest in the bassinet. "We always worry, sweetheart. It's our job. But, I think you'll be okay going home and bringing me some much needed food."

Amelia piped up from where she stood, admiring her newest niece. "I have an idea. Why don't we bring the food back and then I can just take Tessa home with me? My shift is over with, and that way you guys get to know Madelyn and spend the day with her." Her blue eyes flickered over to her girl, silently conveying another message directly to her. Addison looked between aunt and niece unsurely. She'd wanted today to be a family day; it was their first day as a family of four. Then, her eyes landed on her oldest daughter. Her only child for sixteen years. The person she knew best in the entire world. Her identical green gaze was fixated sadly on her baby sister, as if she saw something nobody else saw. Tessa's eyes met hers for a moment before dashing away again, but Addison saw how much she wanted her to say yes.

"Okay, that sounds fine. At least, it sounds fine to me. That okay, Der?"

Her husband nodded before tossing his head back with a yawn. "Sounds great. What do you want to eat, Ad? You push the baby out, you get to choose."

The red head laughed before pinning him with a mock glare. "Oh, thanks. That compensates having my body sliced open and a child removed. But, since the honor is all mine, I choose the biggest, greasiest fast food place you can find. I'm craving a bacon cheeseburger."

Amelia chuckled before nodding approvingly. "Sounds great. We'll be back in a few minutes. Bye, Maddie. Bye, guys."

Tessa gave her parents a half hearted wave as she trailed behind her aunt. Addison glanced down at her baby once more to ensure that she was still peacefully asleep. She then turned to her husband, puzzled and concerned mask on her face. "Did something seem up with Tess? She was awfully quiet."

Derek shrugged as he sat down gently next to her. "She probably didn't sleep well last night. I know I didn't. Plus, she just became a big sister. That's a big adjustment for anyone."

"I don't know, it seemed like more than that. We should keep an eye on her."

Amelia slung her arm around Tessa's shoulders as they exited the hospital. "You okay now?"

Tessa nodded, but it was totally unconvincing. "Yeah, I think so," She paused, glancing up at her aunt. "Please don't tell Mom about this. She doesn't need to worry about me right now."

"Kiddo, I hate to break this to you, but she's already worried about you. She didn't even want you to leave the hospital just now, and you're with me."

"I noticed. I just want to go home, Amelia. Can you just take the food back to them and drop me off?"

Amelia winced. "Normally I would, but right now I'm considering you a flight risk and don't feel at all comfortable leaving you alone. So, no."

Tessa threw her head back and groaned. "I swear to God I won't try anything, just please don't make go back in there."

The brunette gave her aunt the strongest puppy eyes in her arsenal and visibly saw the resolve in her eyes crumbling. Amelia sighed as she broke. "Ugh, fine. You can stay in the car while I run it up to them."

Tessa sagged against Amelia's car as they reached it in relief. "Thank you."

The ride to the closest fast food chain was comfortably quiet. Amelia's inquisitive blue eyes kept flicking from the road in front of her to her niece. Tessa stared blankly out of the window, eyes glazed over.

"Is there anything else weighing on your mind, Tess? You know you can tell me if there is."

The teen sighed but turned to her aunt and nodded. "I know. There's nothing else, I'm just really tired," She rolled her eyes at her aunt's disbelieving look. "I promise, okay? Today's just been a long day, and I'm tired."

Amelia hummed and reached over to rub her niece's shoulder. "Then I'll hurry and get you home so you can sleep."

Amelia did as she promised; grabbing a hot meal for her brother and sister in law and ensuring that her precious niece slept while she did so. Tessa fidgeted in her seat, wriggling beneath her seat belt in her dreams. When the neurosurgeon dropped off the greasy, food- filled paper bags in the hospital room, Addison was immediately suspicious.

"Where's Tessa, Amelia? Is she okay?"

Her sister held her hands up defensively. "She's perfectly fine. She just fell asleep in the car, and I didn't see the need to wake her only to bring your food. She's had a long day- a long couple of days, just like you guys."

Addison still didn't look convinced. "But, I didn't get a chance to tell her goodbye earlier. I always give her a hug-"

"Addie, she's sixteen years old. She can leave without getting a hug and kiss from her mommy and daddy."

The red head gave her a pointed look. "She can, but she doesn't. I don't let her leave without at least a hug, and you know very well why."

"That's exactly what I mean. Addison, you just had a baby. A real baby. Tessa might be _your_ baby, but she's not actually a baby. She's only two years away from being on her own at college, far away from your hugs and kisses. Think about that, both of you."

With that, Amelia swept out of the room. Addison huffed but dived eagerly into her carb-loaded dinner. When a few large bites had sated her raving hunger, she turned to her still eating husband.

"What did your sister mean by that? That Tessa isn't actually a baby anymore? We don't treat her like a baby."

Derek nervously wiped his mouth. "Well, uh, Addie… you sort of do treat her like a baby. And you have every right to; for sixteen years she was our only baby. I'm guilty of it too, but I think Amy was just reminding us that we can loosen the reins on Tessa a bit and focus more energy on Maddie. That's all."

"Derek, there's a reason I'm so clingy to her. She was taken right from under our noses. I thought I would never see her alive again. For a while after she came back, the only place she felt safe was in my arms. Just because I have a baby doesn't mean that has to change."

Derek scooted closer to his wife and pulled her into his arms. "Ad, it does. You've never had to divide any attention between your children before. You've only had to divide between one child and work, which isn't easy. You're going to tear yourself in half if you try to be as close to Tessa, take care of Maddie, and still be a world class surgeon. I'm not saying you can't, because honestly you're an unstoppable force of nature, but it's going to be really, really hard. I'll be there to help in any way I can, but there are some things I just can't do- for either of them."

"I can't choose between my daughters on who gets my attention, Derek. How could I do that?"

Carefully, the neurosurgeon tucked his agitated wife's hair behind her ears. "I think that's what Amelia was trying to say for Tessa- what Tessa asked her to say. She's saying it's okay to choose Maddie right now. She's taking the back burner on her own without making us put her there. Tessa knows the baby needs us more than she does now. She's okay with that."

Addison looked down at her half- eaten burger, suddenly without appetite. "No, she's not."

* * *

Amelia hated to wake Tessa as they pulled up to the Shepherd house, but she did so anyway. "Tess, it's time to wake up. We're home, kiddo."

The teen sucked in a deep breath and stretched her eyes open. She'd fallen into a deep sleep. Tessa blinked around, confusion marring her features. Amelia reached out and gently cupped her cheeks. "Wake up, sleepyhead."

"I'm awake, I'm awake."

Tessa stepped out lightly into a mist, shielding her eyes. She hurried into the house, Amelia on her tail.

"Now, I know greasy burgers aren't your favorite things, so if you're hungry I can make you whatever you want."

Her niece gave her a skeptical look. "You? Cook?"

"Oh, ha ha. You could just starve too."

Tessa laughed as she stepped up on the stairs. "You can make anything you want, I'm flexible. Can it be ready by the time I get out of the shower?"

Amelia nodded. "Sure, I'll dig around in the pantry and see what I can find. Don't rush."

Twenty minutes later when Tessa emerged, skin flushed from a hot shower and hair twisted into a towel, two bowls of ramen noodles with Special Shepherd Seasonings sat on the island.

"Smells great. I wasn't all that hungry until I got into the shower."

The teen parked herself next to her aunt and dug in. Amelia ran her hand over her damp hair with a smile. "I'm so proud of you, Tessa. I hope you know that."

The teen ducked her wet head and blushed. "I know."

But the solemn look in her aunt's eyes didn't leave. "But you still don't see why."

* * *

 _Amelia stood in the scrub room, the cloud of a successful surgery hanging off her shoulders. Edwards was stooped next to her, the sterile soap covering her arms. Her young resident beamed up at her, clearly still riding the high of victory._

" _Dr. Shepherd, that was amazing! You just completely rocked that OR. That guy would be dead if you hadn't found that aneurysm. Teach me your ways."_

 _Amelia rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Edwards. You act like you've never seen me working before."_

" _I know, but nobody caught for days but you! That's just-" Edwards cut herself off, eyes drifting over her mentor's shoulder. Amelia spun around, surprised and immediately concerned when a solemn looking Owen met her eyes. Fear gripped her stomach instantly as he hesitatingly entered. Edwards took the silent cue and ducked out around the attendings. Amelia eyed the red haired man wearily._

" _Did someone die?" Her voice was harsh and unforgiving. Death was a familiar friend in her life; it only made sense that he would visit again. But, who was his victim? Derek? Her mother? Addison?_

 _Owen was quick to reassure her. "Nobody's dead, I swear. But, something's happened."_

 _There was something in his eyes that told her that the news he held would cut her to her core. It wasn't just that someone had died. That she could handle- almost. No, whatever he had to tell her would destroy her. And then she realized there was only one person in this world that mattered more to her than anything. Something had happened to Tessa._

 _The red haired man sighed and anchored his large hands comfortingly on her dainty shoulders. "Something's happened to Tessa."_

 _And then, somehow, the floor was right under her knees, cold from the tile soaking through her scrubs. Her colleague was still holding onto her, supporting her. Dull pain was radiating through her entire body, but echoing especially around her heart. Her now broken heart. It registered in the back of her brain that she didn't even know what had happened to her precious niece. Her little girl; the light of her life._

" _What- What happened to her? How badly is she hurt?" Now, her voice echoed with pain and cracked with heart ache. Her normally vibrant, sparkling blue eyes were void of any light, completely lifeless._

 _Owen cleared his throat and darted his eyes away. "Well, that- that's complicated. We don't know if she's hurt."_

 _That pierced through her fog, making thinking a little bit easier. "What do you mean? What happened to Tessa?" When he didn't answer right away, her voice grew stronger. "What happened to my niece?"_

 _Helping her off the ground, Owen dodged her question until she was firmly on her feet. "Tessa was taken from this hospital this morning, around nine. We haven't been able to locate her yet."_

" _Are you telling me she's been kidnapped!? Nobody noticed she was missing? Where were her parents?"_ Where was I? _She thought bitterly to herself._

 _Owen shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "Both Derek and Addison were in surgery at the time of her disappearance. She was taken from the office floor, right by the stairwell near Addison's office. She must've been on the way to her office when she was kid-" He cut himself off as the petite woman in front of him visibly flinched. "When she was taken."_

" _Are- Are Addie and Derek okay? Where are they?"_

" _They're waiting for the police in Addison's office. I'll take you-"_

 _Amelia swept around him, ignoring the end of his sentence. The hospital blurred past her eyes as she stormed through it. Police swarmed the office floor, crowding up the hall ways. From a distance, as she left the elevator, she could see a stairwell and the closest on-call room taped off with caution tape. The police were finally here. As she numbly made her way to her sister's office, she saw Derek holding on to his wife so tightly it looked as if he thought she might float away. It looked more like she was about to fall through the floor. She moved towards them, trying to subdue the sob rising in her throat at an alarming rate. Addison noticed her coming first, and Amelia's heart broke even more at the redness of her eyes and how completely lost she looked. Her world had fallen away beneath her feet without any sign of it ever righting itself. The red head must have whispered something in her husband's ear, because Derek turned around. She looked so much like her older brother that she instantly realized how awful she looked on the way over. He was destroyed, but opened his arm to accept her into his embrace. Like she always did, Amelia found solace in her brother's forever safe arms. Both of the women's tears mixed on the neurosurgeon's blue dress shirt. Amelia pulled out of their arms first, wiping at her cheeks that gathered there._

" _Do you know anything yet?"_

 _Addison simply shook her head as more tears crested over. "N-No. We saw the security tape of her being taken, and they- they said it looked like she'd been dr-drugged. Someone drugged my baby girl. Someone took my daughter."_

 _Derek pulled her close again, murmuring in his ear. "It's okay, Addie. It's okay. We'll find her. We'll find her."_

 _Amelia shook her head slowly. "How did this happen? Why was nobody watching her?"_

 _Derek turned to her, angrily. "We don't know, Amelia. We were in surgery. Tessa was supposed to be at home, she wasn't even supposed to be here! Why- why didn't she just stay home?" His voice was completely broken, as if the question was the only thing in the world that mattered.  
_

 _His younger sister pursed her lips, realizing she had no right to question them. They were all grieving._

 _She pulled Addison into her arms, rubbing her tense back. "Tessa's so strong, Addie. We'll find her and she'll fight to get away and we'll have her back home in no time. Don't worry."_

 _Her words were good and comforting, but they fell on deaf ears. Tessa was the light of their lives; the sun revolved around her, and the moon rose on her command. Amelia could feel what little trust she held in the universe shrivel up and die, for if the person that was more important than the breath in her body could be taken from her, what couldn't?_

* * *

 **So, so sorry it took me so long to update! the school year's almost over and there's some personal stress right now, but here it is. I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter; i'm an only child so i don't really get the whole sibling bond thing, so i hope i nailed it. Review!**


	32. Radio Rebel

"Hello? Earth to Tessa? Have you heard a word I've said?" Liv had an indignant eye brow raised as she stared directly into Tessa's eyes. Her dazed friend smiled apologetically, before shaking her head.

"No, I'm sorry. I was thinking. What were you saying?"

Liv shook her head dismissively. "It doesn't matter. You haven't been listening to anything all week. What's up with you?"

Tessa sighed and rubbed her hand down her face. Her best friend was right. She'd been distant and snappy all week. It was Maddie's fault. She apparently did not like normal human sleeping schedules. 2 A.M. was the perfect time apparently to wake up and scream until Addison and or Derek managed to sate her. Tessa had barely managed to look at her baby sister since she'd arrived home from the hospital about four days after her birth. It had been six weeks since she'd arrived. She was sure Addison had noticed, but for some reason, hadn't pushed the issue- yet. Tessa had shrunk into herself. She only came out of hiding at school, around her friends and team mates. She'd thrown herself even more than before into her school work. The end of the year was only 6 days away. Liv and Evie had taken the brunt of her issues, and she felt awful about it. She was thankful that Liv had finally confronted her about it. Her sweet yet brash friend was still staring at her, daring her to continue.

"I'm really, really sorry. Life- life hasn't been fun, and I've been taking it out on you guys. That's not fair."

Liv gave her a pointed look. "I wouldn't mind nearly as much if you just told us what had you in such a funk."

Evie nodded in agreement. "You know we just want to help you."

Tessa stifled an eye roll at how much a sixteen year old sounded like her mother. "It's the baby, okay? Both of you have had siblings since you were little- older and younger. Evie, you have a twin. I've never been a sibling before and I'm still getting used to it."

Liv's face didn't change. "That's all that's been bothering you? Are you sure?"

Tessa snorted and began packing up her stuff at their table before the bell rang. "Yes, Liv, I'm sure. I'm just cranky and tired- much like the infant currently taking over my life."

She left her friends behind as she headed towards her first class. A glance at her watch told her she still had eight minutes before the halls would be flooded with students. She sighed. She shouldn't have left them like that. They were just trying to help out after all. The temptation to turn around and go apologize overwhelmed her, and she actually spun around and took a half step back towards the commons. Then, that niggling little voice in the back of her head she'd been hearing far too often recently, instructed her to leave them. It told her to only look after herself. So, instead of doing what her heart scream she do, Tessa turned back around and walked out of the back door of her school. She stepped out into grey and wind that whipped her hair around and tugged it from it's half up bun. She stepped farther out, checking around her uncertainly. A nervous flutter danced around her stomach; she'd never skipped school before. Really, it wouldn't hurt her. She was ahead in her work; she hadn't had homework in weeks, and her GPA had never looked better. One day away wouldn't hurt her. So, with more confidence slipping into her bloodstream with every step she took away from the school, Tessa left campus. She didn't know where she was going, but she could figure that out. The bell hadn't rung yet, and the wrought iron fence that lined the back of the school had not yet been locked. Her pace quickened but stopped cold when a familiar voice called her name. Liv and Evie stood at the door, looking puzzled. They both broke into a run when Tessa didn't move a muscle towards them. Her feisty red head reached her first, looking stern.

"And just what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Tessa shrugged, mischievous smirk gracing her face. "I don't know. Wanna come?"

Evie had finally caught up to them, her eyes wide at the scandalous answer. "You're skipping school? Tess, that's not a good idea. You'll get into trouble."

The brunette snorted. "By who? My parents? That would mean they would have to tear their attention away from Maddie for a minute to even notice, and this school doesn't care. They have 900 other students to worry about."

Evie still didn't look convinced, but that couldn't be said about Liv. She'd caught the scent of a chance to let loose in way she rarely got to do, and nothing had ever smelled so sweet.

"I'm in." Tessa squealed and held up her hand up for a high five, which Liv cheerfully answered. They both turned to look at their notoriously innocent friend, puppy eyes in full force. Evie attempted to glare at them, but the indecisive biting of lip gave her away. She was going.

With a good natured groan, Evie tossed her head back. "Fine, I'll go, but only to make sure you guys don't do something idiotic."

Liv pretended to look offended. "Us? Idiotic? Never."

Tessa snickered at their banter. "Okay, if we're going, we need to leave now, before the bell rings and the tardy patrol goes hunting. C'mon, we can work out the plan later."

The trio took off, running from the school as quickly as they could, leaving responsibilities and repercussions disappearing in the air with their laughter. They stopped when the crowd of people on the way to work grew too thick and they needed to stick close together. The skittish glint hadn't left Evie's eyes, and to make her feel better, Tessa bought her a mini vanilla scone from Starbucks. There were six kids in Evie's family, and rarely enough money left in the family budget for indulgences. The sweet blonde had a job, but every penny she earned was stashed into an account for college. Tessa and Liv had made it their personal mission since they'd all became friends to treat Evie whenever they could, no matter what. The treat brought a smile to her round cheeks, and some of the nerves dissipated. Liv stepped between the two, linking her arms with each girl.

"So ladies, what are we doing on this fine Wednesday? Movies? Mall? The city is our oyster."

Tessa wrinkled her nose at the suggestions. "Those are fine, but I don't think so. How about we spend the day in the park? It's overcast, but I don't think it's going to rain."

Evie perked up even more at this idea. "That sounds great! Let's go!" Much to her friends' surprise, Evie took the lead, weaving through morning commuters towards the city park. They giggled and gossiped all the way there, reveling in the simplicity of breaking rules and breathing the overly sweet taste of blissful freedom. Evie parked herself in the shade of a tall tree and pulled the two girls down on either side of her. She flashed a quick glance at her watch and giggled nervously.

"I'd be in world history right now if we were still in school." The giddiness in her expression and voice could not be masked. Tessa smiled and reached out to squeeze her hand.

"I know, Eves. It's exciting, breaking the rules. You just can't do it all the time. That's the secret."

Liv snorted. "Calm down, jail break. You've only broken the rules a few times in your life; you're not an expert."

"More experience than you," Tessa quickly retorted. "You've never broken a rule- until today."

Ever the peace keeper, Evie held up hands to silence them. "Guys, enough. Don't ruin our day by arguing. I want to have fun."

Tessa nodded and smiled. "You're right. I'm really glad you guys followed me today."

"Me too. Now when we ask you what's wrong, you can't run off to another class." Evie smiled mischievously at her.

The brunette rolled her eyes. "Can you not just drop it?"

"Sorry, no. spill."

Tessa pursed her lips tightly. Her honest answer was so immature and childish. It was stupid, petty, and she loathed herself for it. "I-I hate the baby," She spit out bitterly. "I mean I love her because I have to, but other than that, I hate that I have to be her sister."

Liv looked puzzled. "What do you mean? I mean, everyone hates their siblings. It's part of being a sibling. But I have a feeling that you mean something deeper."

"I hate it for her. Last night, I woke up and screamed, and since her nursery is right next to my room, it woke her up. My parents went straight to her, which isn't a problem; I don't need them to come every time I yelp. But I woke up my infant sister because of a nightmare. She has to live with all of my issues hanging over her life forever, and that's not fair to anyone."

Evie's eyebrows crinkled in concern and her hand flew out to grasp Tessa's. "Oh, Tess, that doesn't matter. We still love you and we know more about what happened than her," She stopped, suddenly looking uncertain. "And, she won't even know, not really anyway. She's a newborn and won't be able to retain memories at least until she's three, four at the latest. Maybe by then you'll be better able to control-"

"I can't my nightmares, and time won't change that fact. It shouldn't be her normal." The bitter words twisted her lips tightly.

"Tessa, you know she won't care. She's your sister; she'll love you regardless." Liv slipped her two cents in with a know-it-all smile.

Tessa sighed, exasperated. "I know, I know. I just have this block in my head, and I can't get it out. I haven't even really interacted with her since she was born."

"Uh, that was like six weeks ago." Evie's face had become even more saturated in concern; it was practically leaking from her pores.

"Yes, I am well aware of that fact, miss calendar." Her tone was unnecessarily harsh, and she instantly regretted it as Evie snapped back in wounded surprise. Liv glared at her, reaching out to squeeze Evie's hand.

"Hey, don't snap at us when we're only trying to help you," Her sharp rebuke made heat bloom across Tessa's pale cheeks, and she ducked her head.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm just so tired of dealing with all of this!" She suddenly slammed her clenched fists on either side of her, startling the girls. "I am so sick of this being my life. Having to worry about nightmares, panic attacks, triggers, therapy appointments, it never ends! What did I do to deserve this? Why, of all people in the world, did that sick monster choose me and ruin my life!?"

Angry and hurt glares softened until they were wet, pitying eyes and helpless quirked eyebrows. Liv shifted over to wrap her arms around Tessa's neck and squeeze her tightly. Tears sprung up into the brunette's eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. As much as she did it, she really did despise crying. The red draped around her shoulders sniffled in her ear. "I don't know, Tess. I wondered that every day you were gone, and even today when I see you break down like this. I know you try and hide when you're having a bad day, but you're not really good at hiding it. You didn't do anything- and I mean _anything_ \- to deserve what happened to you. I mean it, okay? Do you believe me?"

Tessa nodded weakly against her, not knowing what else to say. She felt absolutely drained.

Evie wiped away tears that had fallen down her freckled cheeks. Liv opened her arm and Evie eagerly fell into the embrace of her two best friends. Against them, she muttered, "I don't even know why I'm crying. It didn't even happen to me."

Tessa pulled back and smiled softly. "Because you have a heart that three sizes too big, and you feel more than others. It's not a bad thing; it makes you one of the most wonderful people I know."

The blonde blushed and smiled gratefully. "Thanks. I wouldn't make a good doctor, would I?"

"No, I don't think so. I don't think you're hardcore enough for that. You're too soft, and blood makes you faint."

"That is very true." The three girls giggled softly, glad to feel the tension between them disappear.

Liv suddenly sat up from her position with her head on Tessa's shoulder. "Okay, I'm hungry, and we've sat under this tree for over two hours. Can we please eat now?" Her whine echoed in the quiet park.

"Okay, first of all, you're always hungry. Second of all, we haven't been sitting here for that long. But, if you're starving, we can go eat. There's a line of food trucks on the other side of the park; we'll find something there for sure."

The girls got up and shouldered their bags, Liv grumbling all the while. "I am not _always_ hungry. And to be exact, we were sitting there for one hour and 37 minutes. That's close enough to two hours."

"All right, Liv. You've more than made your point. Now, what looks good to you?" They had arrived at the line of food trucks that lined the street against the edge of the park. An array of choices sent a medley of delicious smells into the air, making all of their stomachs growl with hunger. Tessa's eyes lingered on the fish taco truck, while she knew that Evie's attention was pinned on the veggie wrap truck. Liv licked her lips as she caught sight of pizza, her absolute favorite.

The three girls split up to their desired lunch lines. Tessa devoured the choices displayed on the menu on the side of the red, noisy truck. As the line grew shorter in front of her, the teen tugged her wallet out of a pocket on her bag. As her fingers began to fumble with the zipper of her wallet, a voice sounded behind her; a voice she most certainly didn't want to hear.

"Tessa Adrianne, just tell me what you think you are doing." Quick as a flash, Tessa spun around and came face to face with her mother's closest co-worker, Arizona Robbins. The normally smiling PEDs surgeon was staring at her, blue eyes wide. "Why are you not in school?"

"That is a very good question."

"So where is the very good answer?" Arizona clearly wasn't going to let her off the hook. Her hands were anchored onto her hips, her tennis shoe clad foot tapping.

"I skipped; no big deal." Tessa dismissively blew off the question, hoping the tactic would work. It didn't.

"It's a big deal to your parents, who currently think you're safe at school."

That caught Tessa's attention. "Don't tell them. Please, Zona." She slipped the nickname, hoping to persuade the surgeon. Her blue eyes did soften at the desperation in the teen's voice.

"Why did you skip school? Do you have a good reason?"

Tessa fumbled with her bag as she contemplated her answer. "I needed to. I got there, and realized I was going down a very dark, lonely panicked road. I realized I had no control over my life, and for once, I wanted to have as much as I could. So, I left and my best friends left with me." That answer was only partly true, but sounded better out loud than it did in her head. She gestured vaguely to the trucks around them, indicating that said best friends were near by. Arizona pursed her lips, looking indecisive.

"Tessa, what you did was really wrong, and you know it. If your parents knew, they would be absolutely crazy with worry. I can't believe you would put them through that."

That comment made Tessa stiffen. "You know, I don't think anyone really gets how closed up I've kept myself to make sure they don't have to go through anything else. I've done a hell of a job, considering the circumstances. For just one day, _one day_ , I thought I might do something for me. Besides, they won't even notice."

The blonde gave her a very pointed look. "Speaking as a parent, I most wholeheartedly disagree."

"As a parent with only one child, you have no idea. Understandably, Maddie is taking up a lot of attention in my house. What they don't know won't hurt them."

Arizona shook her head. "Taking advantage of their distraction right now is not fair, Tessa."

"No, but it's smart."

The blonde's disapproving frown did not untwist her lips; if anything, they turned down even more.

"Zona, please don't tell my parents. I don't want to hurt them, you know that. I just- sometimes I need to be selfish."

Arizona sighed, and the teen knew she had won. "All right, I won't tell them. Just promise me you won't do this again, okay? Your mom would be absolutely terrified if she knew, and I feel weird knowing more about her child right now than she does. It's not fair."

Tessa nodded furiously and she tried her hardest to hide her grin. She threw her arms around the doctor's waist and buried her gratitude. "Thank you so much, Arizona. Thank you, thank you thank you! I promise I won't do it ever again, okay?"

Arizona chuckled softly and gently patted the back of Tessa's head as she hugged her back. "How is it that you have this entire hospital wrapped around your little finger?"

Tessa shrugged innocently. "I don't know, it just happened. Don't pretend Sofia doesn't have the same effect."

The blonde finally laughed, her blue eyes sparkling. "Well, that's because she's absolutely adorable. I guess you are too, in your own special way."

"Thanks, Zona. I mean it."

Arizona smiled and shook her head. "Well, this whole little encounter has made me lose my appetite. I'll see you soon, kiddo."

The surgeon turned on her heel, heading back towards the hospital. A sigh heavy with relief pushed its way out of her body. She had to admit, fish tacos suddenly didn't sound so great to her either. She quickly hopped out of line, and hurried to find her friends. Liv was already devouring a large piece of pepperoni pizza. She looked up quizzically as Tessa approached her. "Where are your tacos? Those are like, your favorite and you don't get them very often."

Glancing over her shoulders carefully, Tessa rubbed her arms as she leaned closer to her friend. "I just ran into Dr. Robbins."

Liv's eyes grew wide with paranoia. "What!? Is she going to tell your parents? What are we going to do?"

The brunette grabbed her friend's shoulders to cut her off from asking more questions. "Relax, Liv. I got her to promise not to tell my mom and dad. It just scared me a little- well, a lot. I'm suddenly not hungry."

"I can see how that would curb an appetite. Where's Evie?" Tessa looked around, brows furrowed. Suddenly, a tightly braided head of blonde hair caught her eye. She quickly yelled out her name, and surprisingly caught her attention. Evie hurried towards both of them, a veggie wrap clasped tightly in her grasp. She immediately noticed the pale, worried faces staring back at her and quickly wove her way through the crowd of hungry business men and women waiting impatiently for their lunch.

"What's going on? Why do you guys look you just saw a ghost?"

Liv ran her narrow fingers through her red locks, looking stressed. "One of the doctors that works with Tessa's parents spotted her. She let her go, but…"

"Today's basically ruined. Got it," Evie finished, looking resigned. "So, what do we do now? I mean, we can't really hang out here anymore. We'll be looking over shoulders all day."

Tessa glanced at her watch; it was only noon. "I don't know, wanna sneak back into school?"

Liv quirked an eyebrow at her. "Have you lost your mind? No, I am taking the day off and having fun with my favorite people. There are other places in this city to have fun besides the park."

"Then, lead the way, miss adventure."

Liv led them to the farthest corner from the food trucks to scarf down their food. "Okay, I have a plan. Well, a basic plot for a plan. We still have options to have fun, right? Seattle is a huge city, and we rarely get to see it on your own. That being said, let's go to the mall."

"What? No. We go there almost every Saturday. Something else, please."

Evie frowned as she thought carefully. "I don't know guys. I think Tessa running into Dr. Robbins was a sign. Maybe we should just give up and go home."

Tessa shook her head. "That won't work either. My mom's home with the baby, Liv's dad is home working, and your brothers and sisters are always coming and going. We'll get caught and into major trouble."

Liv slumped against the tree behind her and groaned loudly. "This sucks."

"Maybe we can make it better," The unexpected voice sounded from behind them, startling them all. Liv flew off the tree and spun around, eyes narrowed at the three guys standing close by. The one who had spoken stepped forward, sly smirk on his lips. His friends hung back, but they wore similar proud grins.

"I'm Hunter, this is Brandon and Manny. We couldn't help overhear that you girls are looking for something to do. There's a party going down later tonight, and we could use some help getting ready for it. Interested?"

Tessa looked the boys up and down critically. Hunter's dark jeans were riding low on his legs, and the baggy shirt he wore was covered in curses. Tattoos crept up his arm, ending on his neck. His brown eyes lingered on Evie dangerously. His two friends looked a bit more respectable- although not by much. Their jeans fit better, and if they had any tattoos, they were hidden by clothing.

Liv sneered back at them. "We're not that desperate."

Hunter glanced at her in surprise at her tone, and then glanced back at his boys. "Really? 'Cuz you sounded pretty bored when we walked up. We know how to have a good time, and would love to show you pretty ladies."

Tessa stepped closer next to Liv protectively. She didn't like the way his eyes kept roaming over her body. "I think she made her feelings about your party pretty clear, but you're obviously too stupid to understand. Let me make it a bit easier. Leave. Us. Alone," Her tone had become very dark and threatening; even her best friends felt intimidated. "Leave us alone, now."

Hunter stood up taller now; obviously displeased with the way she spoke to him. His beady, dark eyes narrowed at her menacingly. "What did you say to me? Did you call me stupid? Who do you think you are, bitch?"

The teen didn't back down. "You heard me. Now leave us alone. I mean it."

Ignoring her, Hunter stepped forward until they were nose to nose. Evie gasped and jumped back while Liv stepped closer. Tessa flicked her eyes to her in a warning before meeting the beady stare boring at her. Then, without warning, Tessa shoved the boy back from her, hard. The attack was unsuspected, and Hunter fell to the ground. His goons jumped back in surprise, then hurried to help him up. Tessa stepped forward again, and planted her heel in the middle of his chest before his boys could help him to his oversized feet.

"You don't get to push people around just because you feel like it. You don't get to be a bully. You don't get to threaten people when you don't hear what you want to. Now, leave and don't come back. I will not let another half brained pervert ruin my life."

She let him slowly, pinning him with her hard green stare. Hunter scrambled to his feet and spit on the ground as he backed up with his friends holding onto his shoulders tightly. Her green eyes lingered on them as they hurried away, looking back over their shoulders, faces slack. Evie stepped forward and hugged Tessa tightly. "Are you okay?"

The brunette clung back to her friend, determined not to show how shaken she was; she gripped Evie's shoulders tightly to hide her trembling fingers. Liv glanced around warily. Tessa finally pulled back, her face pale and hard.

"Let's go, before they come back with reinforcements."

The trio made their way to a more crowded area of the park, looking around anxiously. Liv gripped Tessa's upper arms forcefully, her fingertips digging into her flesh slightly. Her hazel eyes that normally danced with life were sharp and bore into her own. "Are you okay?"

The simplicity of the question paired with the intense stare threw her off. "Y-yes, I'm fine. Are you?"

Liv nodded, and the grip on her eased. "I'm not the one who went all Rambo on that guy."

Tessa pursed her lips. "I didn't know what he was going to do. I just reacted."

"I have a black belt in karate and I didn't even act that fast- or that violently."

"It wasn't even that violent. He only fell because I caught him off guard."

Liv stared at her incredulously. "You pinned him to the ground with your foot. That's not exactly something a sane person would do."

"It worked, didn't it? We're safe. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is you weren't Tessa anymore! The Tessa I know wouldn't hurt a fly. You shoved a man at that weighed at least 100 pounds more than you to the ground and threatened to do worse. Your eyes got so dark, and your voice changed. It was low and mean. You weren't you." The red head's eyes were narrowed and challenging, as if she was daring her best friend to disagree. Tessa leaned in close, a sneer growing on her lips.

"And how do you think I survived four months of torture without becoming someone else?" Her voice was low and quiet, dangerous as it was before. "How do you think I survived the beatings and the rapes, without letting someone stronger take control? What you saw was how I protected myself. You haven't been through what I have. You haven't lived my life. I reacted the way I did because it works. Men like him don't expect little girls like me to fight back, and when I do, I survive, and apparently you do, too."

The words sank between them, the weight of them pressing the syllables into the ground. The fire that had built in Liv's eyes slowly dwindled until the only flames were on her cheeks from shame. Tessa took a step back, but kept her eyes on her friend's face. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh," Tessa sighed and shook her head. "Look, I'm sorry if I scared you. That's just my autopilot now. I jump to defensive way too fast, and I'm okay with that. I'm not going to apologize for doing what I did, because who knows what his idea of a party is. We're all safe, and that's all that matters to me."

Liv, nodded, her eyes glued to her toes. "I'm sorry. You're right, about everything. I should've known what you were doing, and I'm sorry for doubting you." As if to make up for it, Liv held out her arms and pouted slightly, silently asking for a hug. The brunette opposite her rolled her eyes, but stepped up and looped her arms around her waist. Tessa's face was buried in fiery red hair, but when another pair of arms landed on her shoulders, she knew exactly who it was.

"Evie, nobody was mad at you."

"I know, I know. You both know how much I hate it when you guys fight. And considering how much alike you are it happens far too often."

Evie stepped back first, wiping away tears. "Okay, I've had enough signs that I need to go home. I'll deal with whatever punishments I have to before there's any more trouble. Bye, guys."

With that, their sweetest part left with a wave. Liv and Tessa were left with just each other, awkwardly meeting each other's eyes. "I-" Liv began, but Tessa cut her off.

"I know. You don't have to say it. I'm going home, Liv." Tessa leaned forward and squeezed her again quickly before turning towards the way home. Her eyes were peeled the entire way for a familiar face; her heartbeat echoed in her ears with each step. Her front door was in front of her face much too quickly. A few deep breaths did little to steady her nerves of what waited on the other side, of who waited on the other side. She slipped her key in slowly, and opened the door at a snail's pace. The front of the house was just as silent as she was, and she made sure to keep it that way. A quick glance at her watch told her was home almost an hour early. Gently, Tessa crept up the stairs, each step softer than the one before. Her toes were just brushing the top step when a wail broke the still air.

Tessa froze, trying to judge where her mother and the baby were. The cry sounded from her left, indicating the master bedroom. Addison's soothing, cooing voice sounded along with Maddie's cry. "Shh, my little one. It's all right, I know. Mama's right here, I'm always right here."

Guilt coursed through her veins at the familiar words. Quickly, the teen hurried to her room and gently sat down her bag. Her comfy clothes were already laid out on the chair, ready to be put on. Her favorite Columbia shirt from her father (a few sizes too big) and extra soft leggings. She crawled into bed and shoved in her ear buds, setting an alarm before closing her eyes. The earliest she could be home was 3:30, which left about a 45 minute nap, theoretically. A highly possible outcome she hadn't considered was her mother striding in not ten minutes later, quieted baby content in her arms. Addison had just been heading to grab something from the nursery when she passed by her oldest child's room. Her eyes flicked into the room out of habit, but when she caught sight of her daughter peacefully curled up on her bed, she immediately stopped. Without a second thought, she reached out and tapped Tessa's calf. Her teen jerked upwards, yanking out her ear buds in the process. For a half second, her green eyes flew around bewilderedly before landing on her mother.

"Tessa, why in the world are you home? It's not even three yet."

Heat visibly rushed to Tessa's cheeks as she avoided her mother's puzzled eyes. "I-I skipped school."

That was the last thing she expected her daughter to say. "What? Why would you do that? When did you leave?"

"I wanted to, and I left before the bell even rang."

" _You wanted to?!_ I need a better reason than that."

"Well, that's all I've got. That is the honest truth. I wanted to."

Addison stared at her daughter as if she had never seen her before. Her green eyes, dull and surrounded by sleepless dark bags, narrowed tightly. "That- this is not something you do," She said it as simply as if noting that the sky was blue. Tessa didn't break rules. It was an unchanging fact; as unbendable as the laws of physics. "You never break the rules."

Tessa's eyes focused on the back of her baby sister's head. "Maybe that's why I did it." Her voice was so quiet her mother almost didn't hear it. She gently adjusted the sleeping infant in her arms.

"That doesn't make any sense. You don't break the rules."

"You can repeat that to yourself all you want, but that doesn't change the fact that I indeed broke the rules."

"You are a good kid. I don't understand."

Tessa looked up, suddenly burning with frustration. "Mom, I broke the rules. Get it over it. Sometimes they need to be broken."

Her sharp tone suddenly snapped Addison back to the present- away from the memories of days gone by when her daughter didn't break the rules.

"Not this one. Where did you go?" For now, her tone was still calm and even for the sake of her youngest.

"We went to the park."

"We? Who is we, Tessa?" An edge grew on her words.

Tessa flicked her eyes away from her mother's. "Liv and Evie."

"Oh, so you dragged your best friends into this mess and got them in trouble, too?"

The teen snorted. "They came on their own. I didn't hold a gun to their heads and force them."

"Watch your tone, Tessa Adrianne. You have no room to be a smart ass right now." Addison's warning made Tessa roll her eyes.

"And what are you even doing home? You could've been in the clear if you just waited a little bit longer, and I'm sure you know that." The red head watched her daughter's face closely, searching for the answer before Tessa spoke.

"Well, there was a little snag, so we decided to take the consequences of getting caught instead of waiting for something else to happen." Her tone was nonchalant, as if they could leave it there, no more questions asked. It was a nice dream.

"What was the little snag? Did one of you get hurt?" As much as she tried to hide the concern behind anger and disappointment, the mother in her could make no promises.

Tessa sighed before she began to speak, knowing the hole she was standing in was about to get so much deeper. "We started to get a little bored of just standing around and talking, so we were discussing what to do next when these three guys came up out of no where," the teen paused, wincing as her mother took in a sharp breath. "They asked us if we wanted to party and we told them no and to get lost. They didn't listen, so I made them listen."

Addison held up a finger, then turned around and quickly disappeared around the corner, only to return seconds later baby-less and with a baby monitor clasped tightly in her hand. She sat down on her daughter's bed, close enough to touch her, but not reaching to do so. She was trying to show her entire focus was on the teenager in front of her. Her eyes locked onto Tessa, roaming all over her face. Her gaze was calculating and worried, but she was soon satisfied with her assessment of her daughter's safety. When she spoke, her voice was once again calm and even.

"What did you do?"

Not being able to contain it, Tessa smiled softly. "I pushed the lead douche down and scared him off, no big deal."

Addison's shoulders sank with exhaustion and her head fell into the cupped palm of her hand. She tried to run her hand through her hair, but got caught on greasy tangles. Finally, she looked up again.

"No, very, very big deal. God, Tessa what if he had hurt you or your friends? What if instead of scaring him off you made him so mad he-" Her mother cut herself off, not being able to finish the sentence. Her face was anguished, thoughts of her daughter once again being taken from her, being hurt, flooded her brain. "What if he took you away from me again? I guarantee you that I wouldn't survive it again. God, Tessa. What the hell were you thinking?"

"Obviously, I wasn't. That's what you want to say, right? That I was being stupid and irresponsible?" Tessa stood up from her perch, and planted her fists on her hips. The anger of everything that had happened in the last few months built up in her. "I am well aware I messed up, and I know that something bad could've happened. But it didn't. I protected myself and my friends. I'm not perfect. I don't always follow the rules. I'm a teenager. I know you forget because you treat me like I'm Madelyn's age, but I'll be seventeen in a few months."

Addison frowned up at her daughter tightly. She pressed her lips together until they were a thin line, and then opened her mouth to continue her scolding. Before she could even say her daughter's name, a cry sounded from the monitor still in her grasp. She sighed in defeat then stood. "I can't deal with this right now. I can't deal with _you_ right now." Without sparing another glance or letting loose another word, she hurried to comfort her baby. Tessa was sure the acid that came out with her last words wasn't meant to be that strong, but that didn't take the sting of them away. Her mother had always dealt with her, no matter what. Anger bubbling up again, Tessa marched to her door and slammed it closed. Dimly, she could hear the wails erupting from her baby sister increase with the loud, unexpected noise, but she forced herself not to care. Her mother's voice, suddenly clear as if she stood right behind her, made Tessa spin around. Her gaze landed on the baby monitor. She hadn't even seen her mom drop it.

"It's okay, my sweet girl. I'm right here. Are you hungry again? I fed you less than an hour ago."

Maddie's cries slowly turned silent as Tessa assumed she was being fed. Her fingers itched to turn it off, but she didn't turn the knob. She continued to torture herself by listening to her mother coo to her now favorite child.

"You are just the prettiest girl in the entire world. How did I get so lucky to be your mama, huh? You know, you kind of upset Daddy when you're only calm when I hold you. I mean, I don't mind at all, but you're hurting his feelings. Maybe let up on him a little? God, I could look into your eyes all day long. They are just, perfect. You're perfect."

Feeling slightly nauseous, Tessa flicked the monitor off. She knew what she just heard should have no effect on her, whatsoever. Addison got to bond with her youngest just as she had with her oldest. The only difference was Tessa had never shared her mother before. Logically, she knew that her parents still loved her more than anything; they were just distracted. Bitterly, she thought they were so distracted they hadn't even noticed how much she had been distancing herself from them. Once again, that mean, cowardly thought wormed its way back into her brain. Was it because Maddie really was perfect? The only things she cried about were being hungry or needing a change. She didn't wake up screaming because a man was torturing the people she loved most. She didn't wince and turn away when girls in the locker room stared at the scars crisscrossed across her body.

She remembered her parents constantly reassuring that these fears were irrational, but that was before the baby was born. Her arrival had changed everything. Suddenly drowning in self-loathing and sadness, Tessa curled up with Heddie tucked tightly to her chest. When the fiery pinpricks of tears finally burned so strongly she could not ignore it, the troubled teen squeezed her eyes shut, and let them leak out and soak her pillow as she spiraled into sleep and darkness.

* * *

Addison gently rubbed the pad of her finger across her baby's soft, supple cheek. She'd been holding Maddie all afternoon, but she _needed_ to after fighting with her oldest baby girl. Tessa's behavior perplexed her, and her own response did as well. Sneaking out of school was an act that required some form of punishment. But, she couldn't figure out what. Tessa hadn't ever done anything that warranted punishment before. Not anything major, at least. That's where the conundrum came in. It was a fist offense, but a pretty big one. A glance at her phone told her Derek would be home in a few minutes; he would know what to do. He wasn't nearly as sleep deprived as she was. Maddie shifted slightly, bringing her mother's attention back to her. Addison smiled, momentarily relaxed, and ran her hand down the infant's onesie clad belly, making her tiny feet kick out. From below, she heard her husband come home.

Derek's voice echoed from the bottom stair. "Addie?"

The red head sat up from the rocking chair in the corner of the nursery and walked swiftly towards the banister. Her darling husband's face lit up when her saw her- or rather when he saw the baby. As he hurried to meet them on the top of the stairs, his tired blue gaze landed on Tessa's firmly shut door. He leaned in to press a scruffy kiss on Addison's cheek and a gentle peck to his baby's cheek as he pulled into his arms. "Tess home yet?"

Almost immediately the smile dimmed on Addison's face. Weariness took over, and Derek was instantly concerned. "What is it? is Tessa okay?" With newfound alertness, Derek moved to open his daughter's door, but Addison grabbed his arm.

"She's… she's fine. We need to talk."

Gently, she tugged him away from their daughter's door to their master bedroom. Wanting some freedom, she gently laid down their baby on the bed. Without preamble, she told him of Tessa's escapades. When she finished, to her immense surprise, Derek with smiling.

"So, Tessa snuck out of school, huh? Amy's gonna be so proud," When his wife smacked him on the arm, the smile fell of his face. "Okay, I know this is some bad behavior that we need to deal with, but it's not the end of the world. Honestly, I'm surprised it took her this long to break the rules. Didn't you ever play hooky?"

"Well, yes. But-"

"But every teen goes through a rebellious stage. It happens. I didn't know if it ever would happen with Tessa, actually. Look, she didn't get hurt, did she?"

"Almost."

"Well there you- wait, what do you mean almost?" Derek turned from smug to overprotective in a heart beat. Addison nodded knowingly.

"She told me she and her friends were approached by these thugs that wouldn't leave them alone, so she pushed the leader down. Luckily for them, they ran away. She could've been hurt, or worse."

Derek looked down at his youngest adoringly. "Well that does change things," He murmured. "What did she say?"

Addison sighed. "Basically what you just said, just with a snotty teen attitude. She accused of me of treating her like a baby," When her husband didn't respond on how preposterous that accusation was, the red head looked up at her husband sharply. "Do you agree?"

"It's not just you, it's all of us. It's just because for so long she was. We all coddle her. That doesn't explain why she's holed up in her room."

His wife winced. "I may have come down a little hard on her. We might've had a small fight."

Derek hung his head. "Should I go clean up the damage?"

"You can try, but I don't think it's going to work."

The dark haired man sighed and walked slowly back towards his daughter's room. He looked back over his shoulder to see his wife, holding Madelyn in her arms. He rapped his knuckles twice on the door, expecting it to immediately open. When the wood didn't move from beneath his fingers, a frowned worked its way on to his face.

"Tessa? It's Dad. Can you open the door for me?"

No response.

"Tess, it's okay. We're not mad at you. Please come out."

To no avail. The door stayed shut. Derek posed to knock again, but a warm hand closed around his shoulder. Addison leaned in close, a whisper on her breath. "Der, let it go. Maybe she needs time to cool off."

As she recalled the words she and her daughter had launched at each other swam to the forefront of her brain. _I can't deal with you right now._ Where had that come from? Yes, she had been frustrated, but that was much harsher than need be. Gently setting down the warm reassuring weight of her daughter into her swing in the kitchen.

"What do you want to eat?"

Derek tossed his shoulders carelessly. "I'll just throw some spaghetti together. Tessa loves it; maybe it'll make her feel better."

His plan to cheer up his daughter failed. Tessa didn't even crack her door open, even when Derek took to pounding on it. He only ceased in his efforts when Addison informed him he was disturbing the baby.

"What's the matter with her? Do you think she's all right?"

"Derek, I don't know. I am too tired and worn ragged to even begin to understand the mind of a teenager-especially our teenager. I'm feeding Maddie one more time and then put her down."

The mother patted her husband's shoulder comfortingly as she passed him on the couch. Maddie was cuddled into her shoulder, big blue eyes trying to focus on her mother's face. "I know, it's been an exciting day. Please don't be a rebel teenager," At this point, she paused outside her teen's room. "Goodnight Tessa. I love you, even when you're behaving like this."

She waited another moment, but when no sound came from the closed door, she sighed and continued on. She nursed Maddie on the end of the bed, just simply talking to her. "I am so lucky to have you, my baby girl. I love, love love you so much."

Maddie's ever clearing blue eyes focused and unfocused on her mother's face as she talked her to sleep. Her tiny little lids shut as she was lulled to slumber in her mother's arms. Derek slipped back in and pressed a soft kiss to his baby's forehead as Addison carried her off to the nursery. After laying the infant down, the red head searched for the baby monitor to take back to her room. She normally left it on the edge of the dresser, right by the door. And then she remembered. She had left it on her daughter's bed. She winced at thought of going in there, but knew she had to. Quietly, she pried the door open and saw that her daughter was sound asleep with her ear buds in, almost in the same position she had found her hours before. the baby monitor was sitting on the dresser, turned off. Her gaze returned sadly to Tessa. She crept forward quietly and kneeled by her side. Even in sleep, her brow was furrowed tightly. She wanted to reach forward and run her fingers through her hair to relax, but it didn't feel right. Addison settled for pressing a feather light kiss to her hair line and whispering, "Goodnight my sweet girl. I do truly love you more than words."

Tessa didn't even flinch. Another sigh forced its way out of her chest, and she quietly left the room, shutting the door as it last was. Derek looked up from the book he was reading as she padded in. He watched her quietly as she disappeared into the bathroom and heard the shower turn on. Steam shortly filled the room, as well as adorably off-key singing. Derek shook his head with a tired smile that remained on his face until she came back out in her red silk nightgown and fluffy robe, hair twisted in a towel. She paused at the door way of the bathroom, narrowing her eyes as she noted his smirk. "What?"

"Nothing. I just am really happy with my life right now. It's perfect," He swung his legs over the side of the bed and strolled to her side. His warm hand around her waist and pressed a loving kiss to her lips. "I have a perfect wife." Another kiss. "Two perfect daughters." Another kiss. "The perfect life. All thanks to you."

Addison blushed and bowed her head until it rested on his shoulder. "I love you, Der.

You are the love of my life."

Derek only smiled wider and took her hand. "C'mon, let's get to bed. Maddie's probably gonna wake you up in a few hours, and I'm sure we'll have our hands full with Tessa tomorrow. Get some sleep, Addie. I love you."

The couple crawled into bed and into each others arms, Addison using her husband's chest as a pillow. Unfortunately, he was right. Maddie's whimpers came across the monitor at 1 o'clock in the morning. But, as Addison swung her legs over the edge of the bed, another voice joined her baby's soft cries. Somebody was in the nursery.

Heart suddenly racing, Addison didn't even pause to wake up her husband. The instinctual urge to protect her child overwhelmed her, and she could feel the adrenaline pumping in her temples. She was ready to fight whomever thought they stood a chance at taking her baby. She wasn't going to let that happen again. As she neared the nursery door, she suddenly realized the voice gently cooing to her daughter was very familiar.

"Shush Maddie, you're okay. I've changed your diaper, and you didn't seem to want the bottle. Maybe you don't like the bottle. It's the same stuff, kid. You'll have to get used to eventually. Hey, that's a good baby. You're settling down. Do you like me? I'm pretty sure I like you too. I mean, you yell a lot and you take up a lot of attention, but I get it. I've had them for sixteen years. I can share. Don't really want to, but I guess I can," Tessa paused, checking to see how calm she'd gotten her baby sister. "You know, we're really lucky to have this family. Mom's the best, and Dad's not too shabby either. They love us like crazy. It's a little smothering, honestly. But, it's only for the best. And you have me to smother you as well. The best part of being a Shepherd is that no matter what makes you wake up screaming in the middle of the night, there's always someone here to make sure you're okay. I should know; it's happened to me enough. But, you don't need to worry about that. I love you, kiddo."

* * *

 **so terribly sorry for how long it took me to update. End of school, personal drama, blah blah blah. anyways, I'm a junior! Hope you guys have a great summer! Review!  
**


	33. Time of my Life

Tessa's head snapped up as she registered movement in her arms. Blearily, her eyes focused on Maddie's sleepy, chubby face. The baby's arms had come loose from the blanket that she had so carefully swaddled in at around three this morning. Tessa crashing in the nursery had become a regular thing. Not only did she get to the dirty diapers quicker, but when Maddie was just waking upset, she saved her mom a trip. The baby was on a pretty strict feeding schedule, so Addison almost always knew when it was time. Soft little fists swung around and bounced off Tessa's chest with each little punch. The teen smiled down at her sister, but the grin almost immediately twisted into a frown as the little coos and whimpers from the infant turned into full blown wailing. Tessa quickly checked her diaper, but as she suspected, that wasn't the issue. Maddie was hungry, and her sister couldn't fix that.

From the partially open door, Tessa could hear the sluggish footsteps of her mom coming down the hall. Addison didn't look surprised when she appeared at the nursery door and saw her oldest gently bouncing her youngest in attempts to calm her down. If she was just upset, the motion would normally work. Addison smiled sleepily at her daughter as she scooped Maddie out of Tessa's arms. She glanced at the clock set up on the little table next to the rocking chair her daughter had previously been occupying and sighed.

"6 A.M. This little munchkin is right on schedule. How long have you been in here, sweetheart?"

Tessa shrugged and yawned as her mother settled back down in the chair and began to nurse her daughter. The teen slid down to the floor at her mom's feet. "Since a little before three. She woke me up not long after you fed her with a full diaper. I was just talking to her and fell asleep."

"Nightmare?"

The young girl winced. "Yeah, bad one. Talked it out with Maddie, G version. Three month old babies are good listeners."

Addison chuckled softly. "Yeah, they are. I used to do the same thing with you."

Tessa perked up slightly, looking amused. "Really?"

"Yep. You really liked it when people talked to you, but I think you especially liked it in the wee hours of the morning. You would look at me like I was telling you the secrets of the universe. It was the best time of the day."

The teen yawned again, and Addison hummed. "Why don't you go back to bed honey? It's summer; you don't need to be up at the crack of dawn anymore."

Tessa tilted her head as she pondered the thought. She glanced down at her wrist watch and blanched when she saw the date. Her gaze flew back up to her mother, who was staring down at her baby.

"Mom," She stopped herself when a lump grew in her throat. Addison had immediately looked up at her daughter's almost panicked voice, heart beat quickening.

"What's wrong Tessa? Are you all right?"

Tessa sucked in a deep breath to steel herself before speaking again. "Do you know what today is?"

Addison frowned in confusion before shaking her head. "No, why does it-" Her eyes widened as she suddenly recalled looking at the calendar last night and feeling a heavy sense of dread as she realized what had happened only a year ago. "Oh my God."

Tessa nodded slowly. "It's been a year. I was taken a year ago today," She looked back down at her watch. "A year ago today in about three hours and 45 minutes."

Addison glanced down at Maddie again impatiently. "I wish she would hurry up."

"Why?"

The red head kept looking at her peaceful baby's face in an attempt to keep the tears building up in her eyes at bay. "Because I want to hold _you_ all day."

"Mom, we are not spending the day like that."

"Says who?"

"Says me. Look, today's just a normal day, okay? It won't do any good to mope around all day. It's just a normal Saturday."

Silence enveloped them tightly, saturating them in unspoken words and unaired feelings. Tessa stared blankly at the butterflies stenciled on Maddie's lavender nursery walls. This had been one hell of a year, to say the least. She'd survived for a whole year, and thought back to the days when she was confined to a hospital bed, wondering if she was strong enough to make it. Physically, she knew the answer was yes, but mentally was still a question mark in those days. Movement made her eyes refocus just in time for her to accept Maddie and the request to burp her. Then, with a swish of her robe Addison was gone, leaving her daughters alone. Tessa situated her baby sister against her shoulder, not even bothering with a burp cloth even though Maddie was guaranteed to spit up on her. Craning her neck, the teen looked the infant in the eyes, surprised by the intensity. The little blue eyes so much like her father's were boring into hers as if trying to figure her out. Tessa patted her back gently and smirked at the thought. "Get in line, kid. Nobody's figured me out yet. Although since I'm already wrapped around your fingers, you may be the one to break the code."

Right beneath her ear, a surprisingly loud, wet burp sounded. Tessa winced and reached out to the rocking chair for the tiny towel to wipe Maddie's chin. A little attempted smile greeted her as she adjusted the baby to recline against her thighs.

"You just think you're so innocent, don't you? A perfect little angel that just threw up on my neck. Hey, you almost smiled right there. Let's try it again."

Tessa tickled Maddie's belly and did all of her signature funny faces that were sure to make Maddie happy.

Addison slipped back into the nursery to discover Tessa perched against the wall with Maddie leaning on her thighs. Her teen was smiling and making the baby's chubby arms wave around as if she was dancing, and rubbing her nose against Maddie's perfect little baby button one.

"c'mon, you can do it, you're almost there. Maybe I should tickle your little belly again…Yes! You did it! You smiled!"

Addison gasped and hurried over to her daughters. "You're kidding! I missed it?! I missed my baby girl's first smile?!"

Tessa looked over at her beaming just like her sister beamed at her, albeit with a little more gum from Maddie. "We've been working on it at night, but I didn't think she would do it this soon."

The red head leaned closer and pressed a multitude of kisses to Maddie's cheek and then Tessa's. "Well, if I didn't get the first smile, I'm glad she gave it to you, baby."

Tessa gave a sideways look. "What about Dad?"

"He snoozes, he looses."

The teen shook her head bemusedly, but her gaze lingered on her mom. Her red hair was pulled back in a messy bun piled on the top of her head and stunning green eyes were red and puffy from crying. Tessa sighed and leaned her head on Addison's shoulder.

"Mom, did you go back to your room and cry?"

"Maybe."

"Did you wake Dad up too?"

Addison reached over and stroked Maddie's soft cheek. "There is a very strong possibility that happened."

"Mom-"

"No, don't 'mom' me. I have the right to cry today, okay? I don't bottle up my emotions as well as Shepherds do-"

"No you're a Montgomery. You should be better at it," Tessa smirked as an attempt to lighten up the mood.

Addison snorted but tucked a strand of hair behind her teen's ear. "Yeah, well. It's hard to be emotionally unavailable when you have kids. I honestly don't know my parents did it. I _do_ know that you and Maddie are my hearts. My two little hearts that run around outside my chest," She sighed and curled her arms back over her chest tightly. "I wish I had stayed home that morning."

"Mom, you had an emergency. Those aren't something you planned. You couldn't help it."

"I could've," Addison looked down at her folded arms as the admission came rolling out. "It wasn't an emergency. I'd scheduled that surgery for then. I wanted to get it over with so I could spend the day at home. I figured you'd still be asleep when I got back. I didn't think you'd come up to the hospital. I wish that you hadn't."

Tessa focused on the baby on her lap for a moment before speaking again. "You and me both. Look, I'll never blame you for what happened. It will never be anyone's fault but his, okay? If you want, I forgive you. Are we good?"

"We're always good."

"I'm not sure about that. I'm gonna go lie down for a little bit longer." Maddie was passed from the arms of her sister back to her mom, and Tessa disappeared into her room for solace.

Cuddling into her favorite blanket, Tessa dove into her novel. In all of the activities that she enjoyed filling her days with, reading was her favorite and the one she got to do least. Her ideal days were cold and rainy, so she could curl up under a blanket much like she was now and lose herself in a way she rarely got to do. The moment she looked forward to the most, the one she simply craved, was the calm that came with the first flip of a page. She could feel her heart slowing, her mind wiping clean, and the rest of the world simply drift away. There was something else about reading, an indescribable, unforgettable feeling she kept to herself. She never could have explained it to anyone even if they asked. So, she drifted away.

When Derek climbed out of bed three hours later and went downstairs to make his family breakfast, he stumbled past his teenager's room, scratching his head in confusion as he looked at her. When she didn't notice his presence, Derek stepped in and cleared his throat. Tessa finally looked up from the pages, eyes unfocused. She smiled brightly at her dad.

"Morning!" She chirped, untangling from her blanket to give him a hug. "How did you sleep? You came in late last night."

Derek nodded with a wide yawn. "Yeah, emergency craniotomy," He paused suddenly struck with a memory. "Did your mom wake me up this morning cry on my shoulder or was that a really strange dream?"

Against his chest, Tessa snorted. "No, that wasn't a dream. I realized today is the one year anniversary." She released her hold on her dad and turned to fold her blanket, still warm from use. Derek frowned at her back, suddenly even more confused.

"Uh huh. Anniversary of what?"

Without turning around or even pausing in her task of making the bed, Tessa answered, "The anniversary of my kidnapping."

The casualness of her answer and the severity of her words made him freeze, from head to toe. Even his lungs froze in his chest. "Is- is it really?"

"It is. Look, I already told Mom that today would not be spent crying in bed and moaning about how hard it's been. I know it's incredibly difficult, and I'm sorry for that. But it won't do any good to cry anymore about it."

Air finally forced its way out of his lungs again, and Derek sighed heavily. "Okay."

Tessa had already prepared to protest what ever her father said, but she turned around from fluffing her pillows. "What?"

"I said okay. If that's what you think is best, then okay. I trust your judgment. Though I'll assume that your mother did not take it well."

"She did not. She cried, a lot. And then she got mushy and I got mushy. I assumed the matter was resolved. I left her with Maddie about, three hours ago. Wow, time flies when you read."

Tessa stepped closer, eyeing her dad curiously. "You're really okay with that?"

The most important man in her life smiled softly and squeezed her shoulders. "Yeah, I am. I don't like seeing any of my girls in tears, especially when there's nothing I can do about it."

The teen returned the smile and leaned in to hug him tightly. "Thank you."

Derek cupped her chin in his palm to look at her face closely. The bags under her eyes told him she spent the night in the nursery again with his other baby girl, but her green eyes sparkled with happiness and excitement. "Are you hungry at all?"

He felt her thin shoulders shrug from beneath his hand. "Sure. I haven't seen Mom for a few hours. I hope she didn't fall asleep in the rocking chair. She never sleeps well in there."

Father and daughter crept cautiously into the nursery, for fear of disturbing the baby. The creeping around was for naught, because the nursery was empty. Tessa shrugged and swiveled back to her room. "I think I'm gonna go for a run before breakfast. I'll just make something later if you're planning a big meal."

Derek wrinkled his nose at her plan, realizing that he probably should join her. He hadn't gone running in forever.

"Mind if I join you?"

Before his daughter could respond, his other girl spoke up from downstairs, his wife's voice joining a moment later.

"Derek! You are officially on Maddie duty!"

Tessa smirked at him. "Sounds like you have other plans. See you in a little bit."

Derek left quickly to relieve his wife of their bossy three month old and Tessa changed into her running clothes- head to toe Nike. She was her mother's daughter and enjoyed the finer things in life; but instead of fancy designer dresses and shoes, Tessa hunted for athletic apparel. She began to jog down the stairs, but remembered her dad had Maddie somewhere in the house so she slowed into a walk. Just as her foot touched the bottom step, she realized she was missing her phone and ear buds. Tiptoeing back upstairs, Tessa removed her phone from the charger gently, knowing it was on its last leg.

Her ear buds were crumpled in a tangled ball next to her lamp on her nightstand, and with a sigh she sat down on the edge of her bed to begin the painstaking process of untangling the wires. Once they were finally straight, Tessa hummed in victory as she slipped the buds into her ears and cranked up the music, the beat mixing with her heart beat. She hurried down the stairs again but paused when a familiar ding in her ear made her look down at her phone. A text from Liv floated on her lock screen. A smile lit up her face as she unlocked the device and read the message.

 _It's been weeks since school was let out and I haven't seen you once. WTF_ _Shepherd_? _We're hanging out tonight whether you like it or not. I'll pick you up at 8._

That was just like Liv. No questions, no beating around the bush. Tessa rolled her eyes but responded with the thumbs up emoji, continuing on her path out the door. The fresh air of the partly cloudy morning wove its way though her body, making her nerves sing with energy. She stretched for a moment outside her front door before turning to the left and began to run. Her music was up a touch too loud, but that was how she liked it. Before she knew it, sweat was gathered at her brow and making a trail down her spine and she had made a loop around her part of Seattle. Her front door already in front of her again. Her wrist watch said over an hour had passed and her phone clocked her going right at four miles.

Tessa's chest rose and fell dramatically as she paced in front of the stoop as she tried to cool down. From behind the thick wooden door above her, the teen heard the increasingly loud sound of her sister's cries and then before she could even take a step, the door popped open, revealing her aunt and sister. A tired smile broke out on her face as she saw the brunette and she quickly climbed the steps to hug her. Amelia held up a hand and staggered a step back from the teen. Tessa stuttered a step forward, hurt stinging her chest.

"Don't hug me when you're all sweaty and gross. I just took a shower."

Tessa rolled her eyes and turned her attention towards Maddie. "Dude, why are you crying? Everything's fine. You were asleep when I left."

"I think that's why she's upset. She wants you." Amelia held the infant out from the cradle of her arms while Tessa instinctively held her arms out to accept her. She cooed as she gently bounced the baby and walked inside.

"It's okay, Mads. We had such a good morning, too. You smiled and burped down my neck…"

As if by magic, Maddie began to settle down in her older sister's arms. Her loud wails quieted and her red, scrunched up face relaxed at the sound of Tessa's voice. Tessa turned to face her aunt, sticking out her tongue smugly.

" _She_ doesn't mind if I'm sweaty. She likes my hugs."

Amelia scoffed and rolled her eyes. "She also likes boob juice. Not the best judge of what's good around here."

Tessa smiled thinly at her aunt. "Why exactly are you here, Amelia?"

"Your dad got called in and your mom didn't want to be alone with lady yells-a-lot over there. So here I am."

"I see. You obviously were the perfect person to call."

"Smart ass," Amelia grumbled as she disappeared into the kitchen. Tessa followed, still bouncing Maddie. "Anyway, how was your run?"

"Good. I needed it."

"The fact that you actually enjoy getting up early and sweating like that is almost unfathomable to me."

The teen shrugged. "I don't know why. It's good for you. Where's Mom?"

The brunette jerked her chin towards the stairs. "Upstairs, taking a shower. Something I encourage you to look into."

"I would except you know the moment I give my darling baby sister to you she'll start howling again."

"Take her with you. Set up the little swing in the bathroom where she can see you."

"Uh, no thanks. I'll just wait. So, do you know what today is?" Tessa asked casually.

"Yes, your mother made a big deal about it before I even stepped inside. How are you feeling?"

Again, she shrugged. "Fine. I feel just fine. In fact, I'm hanging out with my friend later tonight."

"And you're sure Mama Bear is gonna let you out of her sight for that?"

"She'll be fine. I just need to ask her at just the right moment."

"Ask who what?" Addison's voice appeared from behind them, making the teen jump. Tessa gave her aunt a sidelong look and realized that she'd seen her coming.

Her daughter adjusted Maddie in her arms. "Liv texted me before my run and said she wanted to hang out tonight. She said she'd pick me up at eight. Is that okay?"

Much to her surprise, Addison didn't even hesitate before nodding. "That sounds fun. You spending the night?"

Tessa's eyebrow rose skeptically. "Uh, probably."

"Okay. I don't have any problem with that."

Tessa turned to Amelia, her green eyes wide. "Where is my mother and what have you done with her?"

The neurosurgeon snorted into her palm. "Don't blow it, kid."

Tessa laughed, which made Maddie gurgle. "Yeah, I know. Your big sister is the funniest person ever."

Addison rolled her eyes and held out her hands. "Okay, quit lying to my baby and go de-stink."

Tessa did as she was told, taking a long shower to loosen up her muscles. When she came out, Amelia had left and the house was quiet. She crept into her room to dress and saw she had another notification. It was Liv, again.

 _Scratch the plans. I'm picking you up at noon. We r spending the day together._

Tessa stared dumbstruck at the screen before her eyes darted to the time. She had ten minutes.

"Shit!" The word flew out of her mouth before she jumped into action, pulling on a pair of jean shorts and a loose blue tank top. She laced up her white converse and threw her damp hair into a half up bun. Her fingers wrapped around her purse strap and she quickly checked to make sure she had her wallet before jetting downstairs, calling for her mom.

"Mom! Liv's going to come by and take me out-now! Is that okay?"

As she reached the first floor, her red haired mother appeared from the living room, looking calm. She took in her frazzled daughter and smirked.

"Okay. Are you ready, Tess?"

Tessa glared at her as she double checked her bag, making sure she had everything she needed. "I just didn't expect her to change the plans so suddenly. I don't know why; I should've. After five years of dealing with her, it should've been completely anticipated," She glanced up after being reassured that was ready. "Will you be okay home alone with Maddie? Because-"

"Babe, we'll be just fine. I can handle your sister," Addison strode forward and wrapped her arms around her teen's shoulders, sighing resolutely when Tessa's head met hers. She forgot just how grown up her baby was becoming most of the time. "I want you to have a good time, sweetheart. Don't worry about a thing."

Just as they split apart, a knock sounded on the door. Tessa hurried to open it, and let in her friend. Liv leaned against the doorframe, clad in a flowery, billowy tank top and white shorts. She smiled lazily as Tessa appeared. "Hey, loser. Ready to go?"

At Tessa's nod, her smile grew. Liv stood up straight and peered over her best friend's shoulder. She waggled her fingers at her friend's mother. "Hey, Dr. Shepherd. How are you?"

Addison stepped closer, right behind her daughter's shoulder. "Hi, Liv. I'm good, and I'm pretty sure I've told you to call me Addison many, many times."

"Yes, but you went to a lot of trouble to get the "Doctor" title, so I think it should be acknowledged whenever possible."

Addison smiled proudly before whispering loudly into her daughter's ear, "I like her. Have I ever told you I like her?"

Tessa didn't even acknowledge her mother's words, but just stepped out of the house, calling over her shoulder, "Bye Mom! See you later!"

Tessa linked arms with Liv and blew out a breath. "Do you have any idea how much you stress me out?"

Liv shrugged helplessly while winking at her friend. "Do you have any idea how much your eyebrows stress me out? Because there is a small jungle growing on your forehead. That is the first thing we are taking care of."

Tessa frowned, her fingers flying up to her eyebrows. "They are not that bad."

"Okay."

"You are a bully. Why do I hang out with a bully?" Tessa slipped her arms out of Liv's grip. The red head giggled and waggled her perfectly sculpted eyebrows tauntingly.

"Because you're a bully too, and we're doomed to spend our lives together!"

The two fell into laughter, and the sun shining down on them made it finally feel like summer. Their laughter finally subsided and Liv gasped, coming to a full stop.

"Panera! I'm hungry!"

Tessa opened her mouth to protest, but her stomach rumbled. She was hungry, too. She hadn't eaten yet this morning, and she was especially regretting that right now. "Fine."

Liv led the way into the chain restaurant, her eyes lighting up as she read the menu. The best way to get the girl to talk was through food, and Tessa knew there was something on her best friend's mind; she hid things almost as well as Tessa.

Once they had their sandwiches, salads, and teas, Tessa let Liv eat a few bites before speaking.

"So what's up?"

Liv didn't look up from her chicken and poppy seed salad. "What do you mean?"

The brunette narrowed her eyes. "You know what I mean. I know you do things spontaneously, but this… this is you wanting to tell me something and hiding it behind a girl's day. So spill."

Her friend sighed and laid down her fork. Her eyes fell towards her lap. When she looked back up again, her hazel eyes were swimming. Concern leapt through Tessa and her hand flew out to grab Liv's.

"Please tell me what's going on."

Liv bit her lip and nodded. "Okay. I'm just going to say it. I'm moving."

Silence met her announcement for a moment before Tessa thought of something worth saying out loud. "You're moving away from Seattle?"

"Yeah. My dad got this really great offer from a firm to be a partner. In Chicago."

"Well, that's great and it sucks. When are you leaving?"

Liv looked down again, raking her fork through her salad. "Two weeks."

Tessa's jaw fell. "And you're only just telling me?" Hurt dripped from her words.

"I didn't know how. I regret it now, because we could've spent the whole summer- well the first part of it together."

"We'll spend the next two weeks together then. And that won't be the end of our friendship, Liv. We're soul mates," Tessa got up from her seat to wrap her arms around her best friend. Liv did the same, squeezing tightly. Her red hair got in Tessa's face, but she couldn't care less. "I love you, Liv. We were meant to be best friends."

In her ear, she heard Liv, sniffle and then she felt a warm, wet tear fall on her neck. She squeezed her better half with even more fierceness.

The two teens sat in silence for a few minutes, and Tessa slunk back into her seat, only picking at her food. Liv sniffled from across the table. Tessa glanced up and saw her dabbing away more tears. "Liv…"

"No. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I told you, I cried, I'm good. We are forbidden from talking about this for the rest of the day," She began to eat again, taking several large bites before looking up at Tessa with wide eyes. "Ooh! I didn't tell you! Evie got herself a girlfriend."

Again, Tessa's jaw fell. "A girlfriend? Since when?"

"Since a few weeks ago. I was at her house and kept seeing a Morgan texting her and I was kind of suspicious and then I saw that Eves had texted back" I love you too". So I asked her and she told me, but her parents don't know yet."

"Is she going to tell them?"

Liv shrugged. "Probably. They haven't been dating that long. She'll probably tell them in a few weeks. She's the youngest girl in the family and you know her dad will freak out- no matter who she dates."

Tessa smiled warmly at the thought of her sweet friend so happy. "You haven't met her yet?"

"Nope. Evie wouldn't introduce me, which is just rude if you ask me."

The brunette shook her head. "No it's not. You're so overprotective of her. Meeting you would be worse than meeting her parents."

Liv made a face before scooping her last bite of salad. "Whatever. Are you done? Let's go get our nails done and then your eyebrows."

Tessa nodded vigorously as she stuffed her last bite of sandwich in her mouth and got up from the table. "Okay, but I'm buying. And then shopping? Because I really need some new shoes."

"No you don't. You have a ton of shoes."

"So?"

The two girls strolled down the crowded sidewalk, doing what they did best. Living in the moment, being best friends. Tessa had forgotten how much she loved her friends and being a teenager. Most of the time it sucked, but with Liv beside her, even when she was insulting her, was worth every moment of teenaged angst. Liv grabbed her wrist and yanked her into the nail salon on the corner. It was quiet and small; they were the only customers there. Liv ordered that Tessa go to the back and get her eyebrows waxed.

"No! It hurts!" She wined as the woman waited impatiently for her to follow. Liv smiled mockingly.

"Sweetie, it needs to be done. Want me to come back there and hold your hand?"

Tessa stuck her tongue out but dragged her feet to the back of the salon. Ten minutes later, she emerged with stinging skin and perfectly arched eyebrows hanging over a scowl. Liv was already soaking her feet and busted out laughing when she saw her friend.

"Despite the major frown you look great!" She chirped happily as Tessa plopped down beside her.

"That. Hurt."

"It was worth it though, wasn't it? It makes your confidence sky rocket."

Tessa begrudgingly nodded. Their nails didn't take long at all. Despite Liv's protest, Tessa asked for her toes to be painted a dark, dark blue.

"It is summer! Pick a summer color!" Liv insisted as her own toes were being coated in a lovely, striking white.

The brunette shook her head. "No can do. I like them dark, like my soul."

"That stopped being funny first semester."

"To you."

Liv scoffed but stayed quiet until they were leaving the salon. Then, she started up again. "I can't believe I let you get that color."

"I can't believe that you think you're the boss of me."

They chatted until they reached the mall, falling quiet as they tried to decide which way to go. Tessa finally dragged her to the left, declaring that window shopping would inspire them. They wandered up and down, contemplating their needs until Liv slid to a stop. Her eyes were pinned on a small new dress shop. Tessa tossed her head back and groaned, knowing she was going to have to go in there. The price of being best friends with a girl who loved dresses and reasons to wear them.

"C'mon, you might even find something _you_ like."

They split up, losing each other in the sea of fabrics and clothing racks. Tessa flicked through the flowery blouses and thin strapped dresses with little interest, mostly thinking about where she wanted to go next. And then, she saw it. The Dress. It was baby blue, and covered with black lace designs. It hit mid thigh, but the lace hung over. It was the only one, and in her size. Tessa quickly hurried to the dressing room to try it on. There were only three, but the first one was wide open. She slipped inside.

When she pulled on the dress, she knew. It was perfect. The top was tight, accentuating what normally didn't exist, and the thin shoulder straps made her neck look elegant. The pale blue on her set off her pale skin perfectly; the slight flair of the skirt made her feel like a princess. Without another thought, she peeled off the dress and quickly put her own clothes on again only to go to the register to buy The Dress.

As she came out, she caught Liv's eye and rolled her own when she saw the red head's smug smile at the dress in her arms. Liv strolled up casually, a pile of dresses hanging on her arms. "Oh, did you find something after all?"

"Lose, the 'tude. Yes, I found something. I don't know where I'm going to wear it, but I need it."

"Lemme see it."

Tessa held it up for appraising, and smiled knowingly as Liv gasped as she reached out to touch it.

"Oh my God! It's gorgeous. It was made for you."

"I know. What have you got?"

Liv looked down at the pile of clothing in her arms and shrugged. "Nothing, really. Nothing was speaking to me. I was just going to try all of these on to annoy you."

"Go ahead. Nothing can annoy me today," She eyed the dresses her friend held and found that one caught her eye. In the middle, a light purple number caught her attention and she motioned for Liv to put them down so she could get a better look at it. As she released it from the other dresses, she saw how perfect it was for the red head in front of her. It was short, which Tessa knew Liv would love. It fell to about mid thigh, and was loose. It cinched just slightly at the waist, making the skirt flow gently. The straps were thin, almost nonexistent and came close to the neck, almost making it a halter top. Tessa thrust it forward, making Liv jump. She added the command, "Try this on."

Liv automatically took the dress, eyeing it curiously, as if she hadn't been the one to pick it out. "This one? Really?"

Tessa rolled her eyes. "You're literally only saying that because I picked it up. Go try it on."

Liv held her hands up in surrender before turning to go try on the dress. Tessa smiled and held up her own dress, suddenly realizing she'd need a pair of shoes to go with it. That would have to be the next stop. The sound of someone clearing their throat caught her attention. Liv stood at the entrance of the dressing room area, hands on her hips. The dress fit like a glove, showing off her athletic legs and arms. She looked, simply put, beautiful.

"Looks like we both found something."

Liv looked at the dress and smiled. "Yeah, I think we did. Meet me at the register?"

"No I'll wait for you. I told you, it's my treat today."

Liv rolled her eyes, but blushed, so Tessa knew it was a go. She waited for her friend to emerge before holding out hand to accept the dress and march towards the register. She turned towards the patiently waiting red head at her elbow. "Go ahead. I'll meet you at the shoe store in a few."

Tessa turned back to the cashier and heard Liv leave behind her. "Your total today is $256. 73."

The brunette handed over her debit card, internally wincing. It would take a quite a few weeks allowance to build that back up. But, it was all worth it. She smiled brightly as her purchases were handed to her, calling out a farewell as she left to join her friend. Liv was already deep in shoes; an incredibly sparkly heel on her foot already. As Tessa approached her she asked, "How much was it?"

"Liv, I already told you it was my treat."

"That much, huh?"

Tessa sighed, almost upset about how well her friend knew her. "Yes."

But to her surprise, Liv didn't protest. She just launched herself at Tessa and wrapped her arms around her tightly. "Thank you."

"No problem. Now let's find some shoes to match our awesome dresses."

They browsed, not seeing anything until Liv made a hum of triumph. "Look!" In her hands, a slim pair of strappy tan sandals hung from her index finger. She gave her friend a crooked smile before bending down and pulling the shoes on. The straps wound up a few inches above her ankles and would look picture perfect with the dress.

Tessa continued to search, not seeing much. And then, a simple pair of black, lacy wedges popped up and she knew. They were perfect. Liv announced that she found her pair and was good to go. Here, they paid separately, much to Liv's protest. "You bought my dress; I should buy your shoes. It's only fair."

"Good thing I don't play fair."

They spent the rest of the day browsing in the mall, ducking into stores they would normally never enter and trying on things they'd never wear. They took pictures and laughed until their sides ached. It was the best day. When they finally left, it was almost four thirty. The girls each had three bags each hanging from their arms, one from the Apple store holding a new charger on Tessa. Liv walked Tessa home, despite the brunette's protest.

"Who's going to take you home then?"

"I already called uber. It'll be here in two minutes. It's no big deal. Hey, how about we meet up for dinner later? We could go somewhere fancy, wear our dresses. Invite your parents, too. I'll invite mine."

"Sounds good. Where do you want to go?"

"I'll text you the address. See ya, Tess."

Tessa watched from her steps until Liv was safely in the car, on her way home. Only then did she turn and go inside. The house was surprisingly quiet, but she could hear the TV playing quietly in the living room. Her mom and dad were sitting on the couch, Maddie resting on Derek's chest. He looked up when he heard Tessa's footsteps, greeting her with a smile.

"Hey, Tess. Did you have a fun day?"

The teen smiled at her parents as she came around the couch, plopping down in the cushiony chair across from them. "Yeah, we had a great time. Got a new dress, some shoes, and a few new books."

Addison glanced at the bags in her hands; glasses perched on the edge of her nose and medical journal forgotten on her lap. "Can I see it?"

"Actually, Liv invited us to dinner with her family. I'm going to wear it," She looked down for a moment, her mood instantly morose. "They're moving in two weeks, to Chicago."

Her mother's face fell in sympathy. "Oh sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I know how close you two are."

Tessa nodded. "I know. We haven't had a first day of school without each other in five years."

Derek smiled sadly at her. "Where do they want to meet?"

"I don't know, actually. Liv said she'd text me the address. Though knowing her, probably somewhere expensive."

Her dad turned his head slightly to look at his wife. "We'll have to call a baby sitter for little miss here."

Addison groaned softly and reached out to stroke Maddie's little fist. "I don't want to leave her with someone just yet."

"We don't have to-"

"No, we do. We'll have to leave her sometime, and I'm going to hate it whenever it happens."

Tessa frowned. Her mother was making a much bigger deal over this dinner than need be. "Mom I can cancel. It's really not a big deal. I can just go if that would be easier."

Addison sighed impatiently. "I've already said it's fine, Tessa. I'll just call a baby sitter. Why don't you text Liv and ask where we're going so I know what to wear."

Tessa nodded and pulled out her phone, realizing she already had a message from Liv. "She says we're going to The Garden, and the reservation is at 6:30. She gave us an address, which is good because I've never heard of this place. Have either of you?"

Derek gazed at her thoughtfully. "I think I heard Bailey mention it once. I think she and Ben went on their anniversary date there. I think she said it was nice, which is pretty high praise coming from her."

Addison sighed and yanked her glasses off her head. "I'm going to go take a shower and then look for sitter." She got up without another word, and disappeared upstairs, ignoring her daughter's narrowed gaze as she left.

"Is it just me, or did she seem upset?" Tessa turned to her father. The dark haired man shrugged gently to not disturb the baby.

"She just doesn't want to leave Maddie. Just a little separation anxiety. She had it with you, but it was much, much worse. There were tears, from the both of you."

"But I told her she didn't have to go. We could still cancel. It's really not that big a deal."

"Tess, I know that. You know that. But for some reason, it matters to your mother and it's best for all if we just make tonight easy for her. You and I have both left Maddie before, but this is the first time she's ever been away from the baby besides to sleep. Just let it go."

Tessa nodded with pursed lips, silently admitting that her dad was right. "Okay. I'm going to get started on my hair and make up."

Derek just stared at her as she gathered her bags and got to her feet. "The reservations not for two hours; why are you guys getting ready now?"

"Just because it only takes you fifteen minutes to become socially presentable, doesn't mean the entire world works that way. Besides, you've been married to Mom for almost seventeen years; have you not learned your lesson by now? Or picked up on the fact that I'm just like her?"

Her father chuckled softly. "Yeah, I guess your right. I guess it's because I think you guys are both already perfect to me."

"Flattery with get you no where, father," Though as she swept by him to get to the stairs, she bent down and pressed a kiss to his scruffy cheek. "Don't forget to shave."

When she reached her bedroom, Tessa pulled her dress out carefully and laid it out across her bed, placing the shoes directly below it. She pulled out her new charger next, smiling happily as she yanked the old one out of the wall and tossing it in the trash. She left to the bathroom and plugged her phone it into the outlet next to her bathroom counter, turning on Spotify in the process.

The young girl stared at her reflection critically, thinking about the physical changes she had experienced this past year. The biggest change was her hair; chopping off over ten inches of thick dark hair was drastic no matter what you'd been through. Her eyes were different, too. They were wiser, brighter. The angles of her sharp cheekbones used to upset her, used to make her feel like a skeleton. But now, she saw them how they truly made her look. She was strong, and her face proved it. She looked it, and finally saw it herself. Sighing, Tessa gently took out the pony tail holding up half her hair, shaking it out as it fell around her shoulders. Her fingers went through it carefully, knowing there would be knots as she had tied it up when it was still damp. Leaving it down and loose wasn't an option; the bun had made it dry strangely. Except for the part that had been bound, the rest looked fine, pretty even. So, she carefully took the front part of her hair and began the process of braiding each side and pinning it to the back of her head, creating a braided crown of brown hair.

She smiled as she finished, her arms aching from being held in a strange position for so long. Tessa gently sprayed down the few flyaway hairs before turning to her makeup. She didn't like to put her make up on too heavily; she normally just put on some eye liner and mascara to make her eyes pop, but tonight she added a subtle red lip stain just to add some color. The brunette gave her appearance another once over in the mirror and nodded in approval. Unplugging her phone, Tessa noticed that it was already five fifteen. She had to hurry. As she emerged from her bathroom, she looked down the hall to her parent's bedroom to see her mother standing at the end of her bed clad in a robe with two of her favorite dresses in her hands. Tessa walked swiftly into her parent's room with a smile. Addison looked up with her lips pursed in contemplation as her teenager entered.

"Hey, baby. You look pretty." Tessa smiled in thanks as she came closer and examined the dresses in her mother's hands.

"Thanks. Can't decide?"

Addison shook her head. "No. The black one is one of my favorites, and will make me look more in shape after having a baby twelve weeks ago. But the green makes my eyes look great. What do you think?"

Tessa looked thoughtfully at the choices before nodding and gesturing to the beautiful, light summery green dress. "Well, I think you look great in everything you wear, but I would go with a green. It's more summery."

Her mom smiled and dropped the black dress onto the bed before taking the green dress of the hanger. "I think you're right. Do you like my hair like this?"

Addison gestured to the complicated updo she had twisted her striking red hair into. Tessa quirked an eyebrow at the question; her mother rarely consulted her in fashion or beauty. It was almost always the other way around.

"You look beautiful, Mom. You always do."

The red head blushed like she'd never heard a compliment before, and she pulled her daughter into her side. "Thank you, sweetheart. You always look beautiful, too."

Tessa rolled her eyes and squeezed her mom back. "I've got to finish getting ready. Dad should come up soon, right?"

"Yes. I told him to watch Maddie until I was ready and since I only have to put my dress on he should be up here any minute."

"Okay. See you downstairs later." Tessa left her room and smiled as she saw her dress waiting for her. She changed out of her day clothes quickly, excited to put on her new outfit. She picked the dress up and sighed happily as the dress slipped on perfectly. Her fingers ran over the material, smoothing the lace overlay down. Her shoes matched just as well as she hoped, and soon Tessa was ready. A thin gold chain with a tiny heart completed the look, and when she finally went downstairs, both of her parents were waiting. Much to her surprise, Maddie was ready to go too. At her confused glance, Addison hurried to explain.

"I couldn't find anyone I trusted so last minute, so she'll have to come with us. Is that okay?"

Tessa shrugged. "Of course. We have a very well behaved little baby so I'm not too concerned."

Addison took in her daughter's appearance and smiled brightly at her. "Oh, Tess. You look absolutely gorgeous."

Her teen smiled and blushed. "Thanks. You look pretty fantastic yourself."

Derek clapped his hands together and looked pointedly at his watch. "Okay my lovely girls, we have to hit the road. Is everyone ready?"

When Addison and Tessa nodded, her father bent down and picked up the carrier Maddie was carefully tucked into. Tessa settled into the back seat next to her baby sister, resting her hand on the baby's belly.

"Are you ready to go to your very first restaurant, Mads?" Beneath her fingers, the baby only gurgled. "I guess that's a yes. I can't wait until you actually start talking. These one sided conversations are getting a little annoying."

"Don't say that. Let her stay little as long as she possibly can. She's growing up too fast already."

Tessa quirked a brow. "Dad, she's three months old."

"I don't care. Look how fast you grew up. I swear just yesterday you were running around in your mom's high heels, chasing Mark through the house."

Addison glanced at her husband in surprise. "I don't remember her doing that."

Impishly, Derek smirked. "You were at work."

Tessa laughed as her mom rolled her eyes. "The shenanigans you two got our daughter into…"

"Hey, she always made it back in one piece, didn't she?"

"Except the time I broke my arm in Central Park," Tessa added from the back seat. "That, despite the broken appendage, was a good day."

The teen sat back in her seat and swept her thumb across her phone screen, unlocking it. She fired off a message to Liv, letting her know that they were already on her way. Before she had even locked her phone again, a new message popped up.

 _Hur_ ry _up slow pokes_

Tessa scoffed. "Liv says we need to hurry up and she called us slow pokes."

"Your friend is very bossy," Derek stated as he merged into the right lane. "Very, very bossy."

"I know. It's one reason why I love her," sadness enveloped her again. "I don't know what I'm going to do without her."

Addison turned around in her seat and patted her daughter's knee. "I know it's going to be hard, but you'll be just fine, baby. It'll just take a period of adjustment, that's all. And you'll still have Evie."

"I know; it's just going to be weird. I'll miss her so much."

Addison smiled softly. "I think it'll be easier than you think. It may surprise you."

Tessa shrugged dismissively at her mother's words. "Maybe."

Derek spoke up. "I think we're here, guys. Wow, it looks really nice."

Tessa had to agree. The red brick building had a porch out front with wrought iron posts holding up a large wooden roof with exposed beams and twinkle lights all over the exterior. From the side of the building, Tessa could see the edge of a patio covered in tables and beautiful lights hanging from strings criss-crossing across the patio. "It's beautiful! Liv really knows how to pick restaurants."

Addison smiled happily at her husband at their daughter's words as they got out of the car. Derek returned the grin as he too the baby carrier out of the car. Peeking inside, he realized his youngest girl was sound asleep from the car ride. Addison checked her hair in the side view mirror before movement caught her eye. Tessa was already heading into the restaurant.

"Tessa! Wait for us, sweetheart."

The teen stopped and turned at her words, a confused look on her face, but she stood there waiting until her family caught up with her. She shot her mother a pointed look as she approached.

"I don't know why I couldn't have gone in and waited for you guys there."

Addison linked her arm through her daughter's and smiled brightly. "Because we are a family and I want us to walk in with each other."

Tessa rolled her eyes but left her arm in her mom's grasp. "You're so weird."

The inside of the restaurant was just as beautiful as the outside. Soft jazz music flowed from the speakers in the ceilings and the same brick from the exterior was covered in elegant French posters and mood lighting. The family walked up to the hostess stand, but Addison and Tessa stopped a few steps behind Derek.

"Hi, reservation for Shepherd at six thirty."

Tessa frowned and opened her mouth to correct her father, but the hostess spoke before she could.

"Okay, Dr. Shepherd, I have your reservation right here. Your party has already arrived. They're waiting on the patio."

Her father fell into step behind the hostess and Addison moved to follow. Tessa moved automatically, but she was still confused. "Why would Liv make the reservation in our name?"

Addison didn't answer her, but seemed to grow more excited the closer they got to the patio. Her eyes were glued to her daughter's face as they rounded the corner. Tessa was staring straight ahead, trying to understand. When they reached the doors, the hostess flung them open, and Tessa gasped. Her entire family stood right outside of the doors, Liv's smiling face right in front.

Her _entire_ family was screaming surprise and smiling at her. Amelia, Meredith, Maggie Arizona, and her soccer team, Evie, Richard, Bailey, Karev and Jo… _everyone._ Rushing out towards them, Tessa launched her arms around Liv's shoulders and squeezed tight, knowing she was the mastermind behind it. Everyone fell into the hug, laughing. Tessa pulled back first, surprised to feel tears in her eyes. "Oh my god. Liv, how did you do all of this?"

The red head shrugged her shoulders and gestured behind Tessa. "You're mom called me two days ago and helped me arrange the whole thing. Are you surprised?"

Pulling Evie into her arms, Tessa gave her an incredulous look. "Surprised? I'm shocked. And touched. Thank you so much!"

She released her best friend and turned to address the awaiting crowed before her. "So how many of you were ordered not to talk to me until tonight?"

When almost everyone raised their hand, Tessa laughed and shook her head. "Well, thank you, all of you, for coming," Suddenly, a thought struck her. She leaned in towards Liv and whispered, "What's all this for?"

Her friend leaned back and answered, "The one year anniversary."

Tessa nodded before speaking up again. "I owe each and every one of you a thank you for how much you've all helped me this year," She let her eyes sweep across the her loved ones and linger on some gazes as she continued. "Thank you healing me physically, mentally, emotionally. Thank you for your support," She lingered on Amelia and Meredith before turning to Arizona and adding, "And keeping secrets for me. Thank you for being there when I needed you, and thank you for being here tonight."

She turned around to see her parents still standing behind her, Derek's arm around her mother's shoulders as the red head smiled at her daughter with such intense love and pride in her eyes they glowed. Tessa beckoned them to come stand next to her before she began thanking them.

"But I owe the biggest thanks to my parents. They received the brunt of the bad stuff this year, and took it without complaint, no matter how difficult I was being. They continued to love me and support me even when I believed that nobody could. Without them, I would not have made it through this year," By now, tears were actively streaking down Addison's cheeks, and her hand had flown out from her side to clasp onto Tessa's. "I love you guys so much. Thank you for being the best parents a girl could ask for."

Tessa leaned into them and wrapped them both up in a hug. She felt her dad's hand come up and cup the back of her head as he pulled both her and Addison close to his chest. Her mom's arm locked around Tessa's shoulders as she pressed a kiss to her temple. When the finally all released each other, all of their faces were wet with tears. Tessa laughed as she wiped the tears off her cheeks.

"You are amazing for doing all this for me," She eyed her mother with a mock annoyed glare. "And you are quite the actress."

Addison hummed before flicking her eyes to Tessa's best friend. "I'm not the only one."

Tessa followed her mother's glance in confusion before she realized Liv stood next to her own mom and dad with her little brother, Nelson, balanced on her mother's hip. The teen gasped as she moved through the mingling and laughing crowd until she had Liv's shoulder under her palm.

"You little trickster! You and your family aren't moving, are you?"

"Nope. Pretty clever, huh? I had to lure you into a sense of false security so you'd do whatever I asked, no questions."

"I just about do that anyway."

Liv laughed loudly. "I mean, yeah but this was way more fun. I think I want to become an actress because of my flawless performance."

Tessa winced mockingly. "Your fake crying could use a little work."

Liv opened her mouth to fire back, but the tapping of silverware on glass caught everyone's attention. Meredith stood against the metal railing on the edge of the patio; the twinkling lights making her blonde hair shimmer. She smiled as everyone's eyes fell onto her.

"I just wanted to give a toast for the girl we're all here for. We've all known Tessa Shepherd for a while and we can all agree that she is a special kid. She's defensive and sarcastic, but she's the most loyal person you'll ever meet. And even after all she's been through; she is still kind hearted and a wonderful person. A person can only handle so much- believe me, I know- and Tessa has more than passed that limit. She is still sweet and compassionate, despite how hard she tries to hide it. She loves everyone here fiercely and would do anything for any one of us, and I'm so proud of the girl she has become. To Tessa."

Meredith lifted her glass of champagne slightly before tilting it back. The rest of the party followed with a loud call of, "To Tessa!" before everyone dissolved into clapping. Tessa blushed under the gazes of her loved ones, many reaching out to touch her. She wove through them to wrap her arms around Meredith's waist tightly in gratitude. Tessa pulled back slightly to look Meredith in the eyes.

"Who knew you could be so sentimental, Mer?"

"Shut up," The blonde commanded with a light smile. "Don't make me take all of that back."

Tessa smiled at her feet before releasing her friend from her embrace. "I really appreciate what you said. It means a lot, coming from you. You're one of the strongest people I know, and to that you think that much of me…"

Tears built up in her eyes, and she quickly wiped them away so Meredith couldn't see them. She heard a sympathetic hum echo in her ear before two thin but strong arms wrapped around her shoulders.

"Don't mention it kiddo. I love having you in my life, and I would do anything to keep you in it."

Tessa felt a light tapping on her shoulder and spun around to see Evie standing there, shyly holding the hand of a pretty, petite girl with raven black hair in a curly bob hanging above her shoulder.

"Tessa, I'd like you to meet my-my girlfriend, Morgan. Morgan, this is my best friend, Tessa."

Tessa thrust her hand out to receive Morgan's. "Hi Morgan. It's very nice to meet you."

The other girl timidly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear with her free hand. "It's nice meeting me? I feel like I'm meeting a legend with how much Eves talks about you. I hope you don't mind me crashing your party."

The brunette shook her head hastily. "No, it's an honor to meet you, really. Besides, I didn't even know it was going to happen, so you couldn't crash it!"

Tessa turned her attention to Evie, who was gazing at Morgan as if she was the answer to all the questions ever asked. "Eves, I'm so happy for you. Thank you for coming, and thank you for being my friend."

Evie had just enough time to drop her girlfriend's hand to catch Tessa in her arms as she held on tight. "No worries."

After chatting with her friend and Morgan, Tessa made her rounds, giving each of her guests a personal thank you. More than a few tears were shed, but none could prepare her for the onslaught of waterworks that poured down her cheeks as she held onto Alex's broad shoulders. He had pulled away from everyone else, knowing he wouldn't be able to say half the stuff he wanted to in front of everyone like Meredith.

"Tessa, I didn't know that when I found you in a hospital waiting room five years ago that you would still be a major pain in my ass today. You're one of my best friends, and my life would very much suck without you in it. That morning one year ago, had I known that I would be the last person to see you, I would've done anything to keep you talking to me. You are the other little sister I never wanted, and those four months without you were some of the worst days in my life. Every day since, I thank whatever crap God that watches over Seattle that you came back to us-that you came back to me. I don't say this to many people, but I love you, butt munch."

Tessa threw herself at him, locking her arms around his neck. "Yeah, and you're the big brother I never asked for. Thank you for being there for me, Alex. I love you too, doofus head."

After a few moments, Alex pried her away gently and wiped away the tears that wetted down her cheeks.

"Tessa!"

Her mother's call made her tense and hurry to her. Addison had Maddie tucked into her shoulder and Derek by her side. The red head beckoned her teenager closer, smiling gently as she saw the dried tears on her smiling cheeks. "Come and thank your guests again, sweetheart. We'll have to go home soon; the restaurant is closing."

Tessa frowned as she checked her phone; it was almost 11. "Oh! And I didn't even eat anything."

Addison rolled her eyes and patted her teen's back. "We can grab you something before we leave. Now, go!"

She felt a hand gently push her forward and Tessa stumbled forward, the abrupt movement caught the eyes of her guests. She chuckled as she righted herself, straightening her dress. "Hi, everyone. As much as I hate to say it, this wonderful night is coming to an end, and I can't think everyone enough for coming. You guys mean the world to me, and I don't know what I would do without you. I was extremely lucky that my family fell apart and that I moved to Seattle five years ago. If that hadn't happened, I wouldn't have met any of you, and I can't even imagine how miserable my life would be without all of you in it. My life would most definitely suck without you. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything. I love you guys."

Rounds of applause and the cheering of her name echoed in her ears, and a wonderful, light wave of bliss flowed through her body. Her cheeks warmed as her family and teammates swarmed her and hugged her again as they passed her through the crowd. When she reached the other side, Liv and Evie were clinging to her tightly.

"I can't believe you guys helped organize all of this. This means so much to me…"

Liv waved her hand dismissively. "Don't even mention it. This evening has been mushy enough. I love you, Evie loves you, and you love us. I got it."

"Why are you so unemotional you robot?"

Evie sniffled in her ear and Liv snorted. "Because she's emotional enough for both of us."

Tessa shook her head lovingly. "Whatever. The only thing that matters is that you're really not moving to Chicago, and we'll get to spend the next two years together. That is all that matters."

The trio walked to the front of the restaurant together, following the guests out of the door. Their arms were linked together, and that's how the world saw them. Tessa, Liv, and Evie. Forever.

Tessa noticed her mother, father, and aunt standing near their car. She gave a final goodbye to her friends, promising to call them tomorrow. Tessa smiled brightly as she launched her arms around her mom's waist. She squeezed tightly before releasing her. Addison held onto her upper arms as Tessa pulled back. Two pairs of green eyes met, each sparkling with happiness.

"Thank you, Mom. That was amazing."

"You are more than welcome, baby. Seeing your face so happy tonight makes every tear in the past year totally completely worth it. I mean, they were already worth it because I was there to wipe them away. I love you so much, Tessa. So, so much."

Addison gently caressed her cheek, her face filled with love. The sound of someone's throat broke the moment. Tessa glanced over her shoulder to see her dad standing there, looking expectant. The young girl rolled her eyes, but quickly tucked herself into Derek's awaiting arms.

"Thank you too, Dad. This was one of the best nights in my life. And since I'm sure you planned everything yourself, I will shower you with all the credit. You'll always be my hero-whether in scrubs or in plaid pajamas. I love you."

Derek laughed heartily at her words before pressing a kiss to her temple, his scruffy chin brushing across her forehead. "I love you too, Tess. More than words. You're such a good kid, such a good big sister. You make me so proud to be your dad."

The beginnings of a cry sounded from the carrier resting in the crook of Amelia's arm. Addison cooed as she bent down and removed Maddie. "What's the matter, little one? Were you feeling left out?"

The baby continued to whimper as she was settled into her mother's arms. "I gave her a bottle a couple of hours ago, so I probably need to change her diaper. I'll be right back."

As her red headed mother headed to the back of the car with Derek following obediently with the diaper bag, Tessa turned to her aunt. She smirked at Amelia, moving to lean on the side of the car.

"What nice things do _you_ have to say about me?"

"Absolutely nothing."

Tessa puffed out her bottom lip in a pout, making Amelia snort and lean next to her. "If you hear another nice thing about you tonight you'll head will grow so big you'll float away," She stopped speaking and tilted her head back to see a faint glimmer of stars dotting the night sky. "Besides, you already know you're my very best friend and I love you more than anyone else on Earth. What else is there to tell you?"

"I think that pretty much covers it. And I love you, too. I wouldn't want anyone else to be my Auntie Amy."

Amelia's eyebrows rose at the familiar but long unused moniker. "You haven't called me that in years. You know, I think if someone asked me what title I was more proud of between Dr. Shepherd and Auntie Amy, I would say Auntie Amy."

"Really? Why?"

"Because when you were little and I came to see you, your little face would light up like a Christmas tree and you would yell that at the top of your lungs before you flew into my arms. It was the best. Nobody was ever that excited to see me. It made my day, every time, no matter what."

Tessa dropped her head on Amelia's shoulder. "Spend the night with me?"

"Buy me dinner first."

Addison appeared around the corner with Maddie in her arms. "Tess, Maddie wants you; take her?"

Without a verbal answer, Tessa held out her arms to accept the baby.

"Thank you, sweetheart. Did I hear you ask Amelia spend the night?"

"Yes, and she told me to buy her dinner first."

Addison smiled wanly at her sister. "Charming. But, of course, you're welcome to."

Amelia nodded. "Thanks, I will. Just for my favorite niece."

Tessa chuckled as she stared down into Maddie's blue eyes. The baby was alert, staring straight back at her sister. A little gummy smile spread across her chubby cheeks, and Tessa flashed her one back. Right in that moment, she couldn't think of a time she'd ever been happier. Life was finally good again.

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 **I am so, so sorry that it took me so long to update. I have absolutely no excuse. I hope this extra long, unfortunately final chapter makes up for it. Yes, this is it. Well, technically. I 'll be doing two more epilogue chapters after this one, so this is the last regular chapter. I know it says it was the one year anniversary, which actually passed in June, but i can't believe that this little world has been a part of me for over a year. Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and loving it like i do. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!**


	34. Home Again

**Hey all! So here is the first part of the epilogue! It's been about nine years since we left of. I'm really proud of this chapter, so I hope you guys like it!**

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Tessa Shepherd blew the wisps of hair out of her face as she shouldered her backpack. The airplane cabin was hot and stuffy; the passengers grumbling as they shuffled out in front of her. She smiled to the stewardesses as she passed, silently thanking them. It had been a rough flight with turbulence and screaming babies. Not to mention, it had been a 13 hour flight. Tessa didn't even know what day it was. The 25 year old breathed in deeply as she stepped into the bustling airport, happy to have two feet back on the ground. She'd spent the last year after graduating medical school backpacking through Europe. It had been hard to call back home for weeks, much to her parent's displeasure. But she was home now, and her parents had no idea. They thought she was still lounging around Amsterdam.

The young woman had come home a few days early to surprise them. The past six years had been interesting to say the least. Tessa had been accepted to Stanford, fully prepared to go into premed, and she went through it, acing it and proving to be more like her mother than anyone thought as she blew threw it in three years, leaving her a gap year before she headed off to slave away in an internship. In theory. She'd told her parents that she just wanted to see the world before disappearing into a hospital for four years. And in the middle of a hot night in Barcelona, she realized that she didn't want to be a surgeon. Now she just had to tell her parents. Her world class, superstar surgeon parents. This was going to be great.

The downside of nobody knowing that she was coming home was that nobody was there to pick her up. After a year of hopping around Europe, the Middle East, Asia, and even a few days down under, Tessa could hail a cab no problem. She just didn't know where to tell the driver to go. It was only two; everyone would be at work, and it would just be weird to sit in the house until one or both of her parents came home. Then, she knew exactly where to go.

Tessa waited patiently in the office of the elementary school for her baby sister. Not that she would admit it to anyone, but Maddie was who she missed most. She was looking at a small chart that boasted when what child at the school lost their teeth with little smiling teeth when the door opened loudly. Maddie came whipping around the corner, almost as if she knew who awaited her arrival. The little girl froze in her tracks, her little plaid uniform skirt still moving. Her jaw fell and tears built up in her eyes. Tessa dropped to her knees with her arms wide open, and Maddie quite happily flew into them.

"Maddie Rose! Oh, I've missed my girl so much!" Tessa crushed her baby sister to her chest, breathing in her coconut conditioner as she nuzzled her nose into Maddie's auburn hair.

Against her chest, Tessa heard her baby sister mutter, "I can't believe you're back!"

Tessa pulled back and cupped Maddie's wet cheeks. "So does this mean you're happy to see me?"

"Duh! Mom and Dad didn't tell me you were coming home." A slight pout graced her rosy lips. Tessa raised her eyebrows in surprise when she heard her little baby sister call their parents Mom and Dad. Last time she was home, they were still Momma and Daddy. Had Maddie really grown up that much in a year? She certainly seemed at least an inch taller, and the freckles sprinkled across her cheeks and nose seemed to have faded slightly. Tessa adored those little freckles.

"Oh, baby they didn't know. Nobody knows I'm home except you."

Maddie's eyes grew even wider when she heard that she was special enough to know such an important secret.

Tessa continued on with her plan, hoisting the eight year old on to her hip. "I thought I could pick you up from school early and we could spend the day together, and you could help me figure something out. A little problem I have. But we'll work that out later. What do you want to do today, kiddo?"

Maddie simply dropped her head on to her big sister's shoulder. "I just want to spend the day with you."

Tessa nodded casually, although her heart grew about six sizes at her sister's sweet words. "Do you want a girly day? Go get our nails done, go shopping…or we could have a messy, outdoors day. What sounds better?"

Maddie pondered the thought carefully. "Hmm. I think I want a girly day. I need my toes done."

Tessa rolled her eyes. "You are so Mom's daughter. And here I thought you were a daddy's girl."

"I am. We went outside and played hide and seek for hours last night!"

Maddie's school was in the middle of Seattle, something Tessa didn't understand. As they left, she shook her head at the small courtyard they considered a play ground. There was hardly any room for the kids to have recess, but the small private school was one of the little girl's favorite places to be.

"So what's first?"

"I want to go shopping first. I need a new pencil case." A frown grew on Maddie's face and Tessa knew there was more to the story. She had let Maddie fall from her embrace but still held tightly to her little hand. She gave it a little shake.

"There's something you're not telling me, Mads. What happened?"

The little girl met her sister's calculating gaze. "This girl in my class took mine. It's no big deal."

"Somebody being a bully to my baby sister is a big deal. Did you at least tell your teacher?"

Maddie rolled her eyes. "Tessa, I'm not a baby. It's not worth it. I just get a new one, and nobody gets into trouble."

Tessa winced at her choice of words. "I know you're not a baby. You just can't let people walk all over you. Girls have it tough, no matter what. You have to stick up for yourself and make your voice heard, even if it's just a bully taking a pencil case. Does that make sense?"

Maddie furrowed her brow as she thought. "Sort of. Why do girls have it so tough?"

Tessa sighed. "Unfortunately that's just how life works. Girls will always have to work harder, in every field. Especially in science and other male-dominated fields. That's why more girls need to go in those fields and fight for what's theirs."

"Is that what you're doing?" The seemingly innocent question made Tessa's stomach quench.

"It was."

Now Maddie looked even more confused. "Was? I thought you wanted to be a doctor?"

Tessa sighed heavily. "I do. Did. Do. I don't know anymore. I went to a lot of really sad places while I was away, Mads. All I wanted to do was help the people I saw there, and God forbid if there was a little girl your age. I think I want to work with Doctors without Borders instead of being a surgeon. I just don't want to let Mom and Dad down."

"Tessa, you still want to help people. How could you let them down?"

Tessa laughed gently before pulling Maddie into her side. "How'd you get to be so wise, kiddo?"

"I learned from the best."

The brunette laughed again before suddenly realizing something. "Oh my God. Maddie, who was supposed to pick you up today?"

The eight year old thought back to this morning, when her mother was going over today's schedule. "Um, I think Mom. Why?"

"Because our parents have no idea I picked you up. We have to get to the hospital and make up a cover story. Like now. Sorry kid, we'll have to go shopping some other time."

Tessa thrust her arm out into the street, hailing another cab. When asked to be taken to the hospital, the driver's eyes widened as he checked the two girls out for injuries. Tessa hurried to reassure him that they were both okay, but he kept throwing them nervous glances the whole duration of the drive. When they both finally stepped outside of the car, she took a deep breath as she looked up at the building that had raised her. Maddie sensed her hesitation and gave her big sister's hand a tight squeeze.

"Let's go. I think I know who we need to see first."

When Tessa and Maddie walked up to the nurse's station on the surgical floor, the three women behind the counter didn't even look up. "How can I help you?"

Tessa smiled sweetly even though they didn't even notice. "Hi, could you please page Dr. Shepherd?"

"Which one?"

"Amelia."

Maddie snickered into her palm next to her sister. Tessa glanced down at her and narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What?"

"Nothing," The little girl answered unconvincingly, still trying to hide her smile. "Nothing at all."

Tessa opened her mouth to press her, but the nurse cleared her throat. "She'll be down in just a minute."

The brunette smiled in thanks before turning to her sister. "Okay, I'm going to hide. I want you to stand right here, okay? I want to surprise her, too."

Maddie nodded in understanding as Tessa hurried to find a seat in the waiting area and pulled a magazine over her face. Considering how different she look since her aunt had last laid eyes on her, the magazine may not have been even necessary. Her dark hair was short again, brushing just past her shoulders after letting it grow out again in college. She was wearing worn jeans with holes in the knees with her new favorite shoes she'd picked up Berlin; a pair of well loved Birkenstocks. Her soft blue sweater was pretty faded as well, but she didn't care. These clothes had kept her warm and dry all over the world. Her normally fair skin was also a few shades darker after spending so much time in the sun. She looked nothing like a Shepherd now. Over the top of her magazine, she barely caught the sight of her aunt in a lab coat and scrubs come barreling down the staircase. Even from where she sat, she could see the confusion and worry on her face. As she got up, she heard Amelia say, "Maddie? What the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you get here?"

Tessa snuck up behind her and said, "I picked her up. No big deal."

Amelia whirled around at the unexpected voice, and her jaw dropped. Her beautiful niece stood right behind her, smiling widely. Without even thinking, Amelia launched her arms around Tessa, squeezing her tightly.

"Oh my God! I've never been so happy to see you in my life. Well, maybe once. How are you? When did you get home? Why didn't your parents tell me?"

Tessa huffed out a breath in her ear. "You're gonna have to let me breathe before I can talk, Amelia."

The neurosurgeon let her go, but her hands gravitated to cup the grown girl's cheeks. "Are you okay?"

Tessa nodded into her palms. "Yeah, I'm fine. I came home a few days early to surprise everyone so Mom and Dad didn't know. I got home like two hours ago. But now I have a question for you. Did you swallow a watermelon?"

She gestured at the sizable belly taking up most of the space between the two. Amelia blushed and moved to cup the bottom of her belly. Maddie laughed loudly behind them both. Tessa pinned her sister with a strong green glare. "Is this what you were laughing at when I paged Amelia?"

Maddie nodded giddily. "Yeah. I knew that she didn't tell you and you were going to be surprised."

"Well, I definitely am. Why didn't you tell me?"

Amelia shrugged. "I don't know. I knew you would be happy and worried for me, and I was worried that you would cut your trip short to come take care of me. I didn't want that."

"So when are you due? Do you know what it is?"

Amelia looked down at her belly, smiling gently. "I'm due in three months, and it's a boy. Owen is thrilled."

"Well, so am I. I just wish you had told me. I really am happy for you. I guess I'm not your little girl anymore, huh?" Tessa wrapped her arms around her aunt again, rubbing her hand across her belly as she did so.

Amelia frowned. "Of course you are! You'll always be my best girl. You've been my partner in crime since the day you were born. Now, I'll just have you and my little man."

"Hey!"

Maddie was staring at her aunt and sister indignantly. Tessa laughed and stuck her tongue out at the eight year old. "Isn't it enough that you're _my_ best girl?"

"No."

"Well too bad, because you are, forever." Tessa looked at her aunt again.

"Want to help me freak out Mom and Dad? For old time's sake?"

Amelia smirked. "Always. What's the plan?"

"Do you know where Dad is? That is key."

"I think there's a board meeting right now. He should be in there."

Tessa nodded calculatingly. "Okay, that works. Are you busy?"

Her aunt scoffed. "No. They- and by they I mean Owen-took me off surgeries weeks ago."

Tessa winced. "I'm sure he regrets doing that. But if you're not doing surgery, why are you wearing scrubs?"

"Because they're the only thing that fits comfortably. Any more questions, nosy?"

Tessa's eyebrow rose. "And I can see that the pregnancy hormones have practically left you alone, huh?"

Amelia smiled sweetly at her niece. "What do you want me to do?"

"Make a chart up for me. Use the name Emily Carr, and put it down for a consult for a tumor."

The young brunette peeked over her aunt's shoulder at her still grinning little sister. "Maddie, come here."

The little girl hurried over, practically jumping for joy. "What's my job?"

"A very important one. I need you to go with Auntie Amy and pretend like you don't feel well. Not like dying sick, but a pretty bad stomachache. Think you could handle that?" At Maddie's nod, Tessa turned to her aunt. "I need you to pretend like you picked Maddie up. That she called for you, and only wanted you to get her. Then tell Dad he has a very important patient in his office. I will obviously be the special patient. Are we ready, girls?"

Amelia looked up from the chart she had balanced on her belly. "I mean, yeah. It's really not that complicated of a plan there, Tess."

Tessa stuck her tongue out maturely at her aunt. "Oh, this is only phase one. The real part is for Mom. It's fun to mess with Dad, but to mess with Mom? That's asking for it. Go!"

Amelia rolled her eyes but grabbed her youngest niece's hand tightly. "Okay, kid. Put on your best sick face. It's got to be really convincing."

Maddie nodded with a serious frown before her face melted into something else. Her pale red eyebrows drew together and her perfectly round lips pulled tight into a pout. She closed her eyelids and leaned heavily into Amelia's side, practically making her carry her. Maddie opened one eye wider and whispered, "How's this?"

"Perfect, kiddo."

They took the elevator, Amelia already tired from her brisk jog down the stairs earlier. The board meeting was just ending she judged, as the attendings inside were already moving around and getting out of their chairs. Amelia tapped on the window to get her brother's attention. His blue eyes found hers, narrowing as she beckoned him urgently outside. He smiled politely at Jackson as he quickly made his way outside. His confused gaze fell to the very well acting Maddie, and concern fell over his face. Derek reached out to take his youngest daughter from his sister's grasp, and Maddie went willingly, moaning all the while. "Amy, what happened?"

Amelia shrugged. "I got a call from her school about an hour ago. Maddie was sick and wanted me to come get her. She's been like this since. I knew you had a meeting and that Addie was in surgery so I let her sleep for a while on my couch, but she isn't feeling any better. She doesn't have a fever, but she says her tummy hurts."

Derek picked Maddie up and settled her gently on his hip. He pushed one of her braids out of her face and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. "You don't feel well, sweetheart?"

Miserably, Maddie shook her head. "No, Daddy. My tummy hurts."

Frowning, her dad moved his lips to her forehead, but felt no heat. "I'm sorry princess. What can I do?"

Amelia quickly jumped in. "Actually, you have a patient waiting in your office."

"Well, they'll have to reschedule. Or you can see them. I should take Maddie home." He moved to the elevators, but his sister blocked him.

"No. She asked for you. It shouldn't take long; it's a basic consult. I'll watch Maddie until you're done. You want to lie down in my office and wait for your daddy, little one?"

Maddie nodded. "I want Auntie Amy. Go work Daddy. Then we can go home."

Derek looked torn. He gazed down at Maddie in his arms before flicking his eyes to the chart in his sister's hand. He stuck his hand out for the chart, quickly scanning it. "Emily Carr. A tumor, she's only 25? That's the same age as Tessa. Okay, I'll go. I won't be long, I promise Maddie. I'll come get you in fifteen minutes, okay?"

The little girl nodded weakly and allowed herself to be put down. She shuffled over to her aunt, and Amelia wrapped her arm around Maddie's shoulders. "I'll take care of her. It's good practice, right?"

Derek smiled distractedly as he read the chart more closely. "Look after her, Amy. I'll be there in a few minutes."

The two watched him disappear down the hallway to his office before giving each other a high five. Maddie looked at her aunt proudly. "How'd I do?"

"Very convincing. Now we wait."

Tessa sat patiently in her father's office, smiling as she looked at the pictures decorating his desk. They were mostly of her and her sister, each at different stages of their lives. There were two different newborn baby pictures; Maddie's distinguishable because of the small tubes covering her upper lip. There was Tessa on her first day of school, and the day she graduated salutatorian to Liv. There was Addison and Derek on their wedding day, smiling brightly. That was one of Tessa's favorite pictures. She jumped as the door opened and her dad's doctor voice filled the room.

"So sorry to keep you waiting Ms. Carr. I was in a board meeting. I'm just familiarizing myself with your case…" All through talking, Derek hadn't glanced up to his "patient". Tessa sat in front of his desk, her legs crossed. She smiled at his appearance. He hadn't changed much; the only sign that eight years had passed was the slight increase of silver to his wavy, dark hair. Tessa had a sneaking suspicion that he dyed it.

"So, you have a frontal lobe tumor? I'm afraid I can't come up with a surgical plan without scans, and I see none. I don't think there's anything I can do today."

"And here I thought I was meeting with the Neuro God."

At the sound of her voice, Derek's head snapped up. Tessa failed at hiding her smile anymore; it sprung across her face with a laugh.

"Hi, Dad."

Derek stared blatantly at her, blinking a few times as if he believed he was hallucinating. "T-Tessa? Is that really you?"

Suddenly shy, Tessa nodded. She couldn't read her dad's reaction yet. She'd only imagined her little scheme going over well; she'd never consider that her parents would be upset with her sudden homecoming.

Without warning, Derek threw the chart on his desk before picking Tessa out of the chair and spinning her around. "My girl is home! When did you get here? Why didn't you call? How long are you staying?"

"Dad. I need to breathe."

Immediately he let her go. "I'm sorry I just- what are you doing home?"

"I just decided to come home early. I missed you guys."

"You missed Maddie, you mean. Hey, you picked her up, didn't you? I bet she's not even really sick!"

Tessa nodded proudly. "All an act. My little sister's quite the actress, isn't she?"

"Hmm. Have you seen your mom yet? She really, really missed you. We all did."

His daughter bowed her head; his words made shame burn through her body. "I know. But no, I haven't seen Mom yet. I wanted to surprise her, like I surprised you, but bigger."

Derek's blue eyes went wide. He shook is head in amusement at his daughter, adoration practically making him bust at the seams. "You sure that's a good idea, Tess? Mom's not exactly a big fan of surprises when it comes to her kids. Actually she's not a fan of surprises, period."

"I know. I'm willing to take the risk for the entertainment. Want to help me?"

"What do you want me to do?"

"This is going to be pretty complex, to be honest. The ER's been pretty quiet today, right? Think you can get your hands on an empty trauma room and a gurney?"

"I can try, but I think it's pretty plausible," Derek glanced down at his watch and blew out a breath. "Your mom should be out of surgery in a half hour. Can you get everything done in that time?"

"I should be able to. Just get me a gurney and page Mom as soon as she's out of the OR. And get Amelia and Maddie, too. They're gonna want to see this."

With that, they left his office, Derek prying for details of her travels. "So, tell me all about your journey across the world! I want to hear every detail."

"I'll tell you and Mom at the same time at dinner. I don't want to repeat myself over, and if I tell you two, the whole hospital will know in few days."

Derek gave her mock glare, but they had reached the ER. It was practically silent; only a few beds were even occupied, and they all seemed to be pretty minor injuries. "Trauma room 3 may be open; the lights weren't working this morning. I doubt they've gotten around to fixing it."

"Perfect." A devious smile spread across her face as they went inside the empty trauma room. Tessa nodded approvingly. Her dad flipped the light switch, but only one light flickered on and off as they stood there. "Even better. Start paging Mom and Amy, please?"

Derek pulled out his pager, sending his wife a 9-1-1 page from the ER and just a regular consult page to his sister. Tessa laid down on the gurney and pulled the white sheet over her head. She heard her dad chuckle. "What's the plan here Tess?"

The young woman tugged the sheet down, her baby hairs on her forehead standing up from the static. "Mom's going to come rushing in here, expecting to see a patient bleeding out. She's going to find me under the sheet. I'm going to yell 'boo!' and she's going to have a heart attack. Brilliant, right?"

"Brilliant."

Tessa beamed at him brightly. "I know. Now, you have to go. Hey, edit my chart to say I'm twelve weeks pregnant and meet Mom outside."

Derek looked up suddenly at her instructions, eyes wide and panicked. "You're not, right? This isn't your funny way of telling us?"

Tessa's eyes went as big as her father's. "God, no. You'll find out I'm pregnant when I'm in the delivery room, and not a moment sooner."

Breathing again, Derek nodded. "Good. That sounds like a good plan," His hip suddenly buzzed, interrupting them. "Your mom's on the way down. I'll meet her outside and get her caught up on your "chart."

Tessa nodded and ducked back under the sheet. Derek felt foolish as he pulled on a trauma gown to keep the story up. He looked up at the sound of rushing footsteps and saw his wife of 25 years striding toward him. He jumped up to meet her, smiling at her post surgery look. Her signature red hair hidden in her swirl covered scrub cap. She glanced over at him, confused and somewhat annoyed. "What are you doing?"

Derek feigned innocence. "Just updating you on the patient. She's in trauma three. Emily Carr, 25. She's- she's twelve weeks pregnant and was in a car accident."

Addison frowned as she was read the information. "So why are you out here and not with her?"

They reached the doors before her husband could come up with an excuse, and Addison was still too far into doctor mode to even really notice. She burst into the room, immediately confused. The trauma room was empty, save for the covered up body on the gurney. She was a doctor; she knew what a covered up body meant. Addison slammed her hand against the wall. She turned to Derek. "Why weren't you with her? Why wasn't anybody taking care of her?"

She was even more baffled to see her husband wasn't even remotely upset. He walked towards her, hands up. "Ads, go check on her. Lift the sheet."

"Why? She's gone."

"Just do it, Addie."

With a sigh, Addison crossed the room and braced herself. Her fingers curled around the edge of the sheet and she pulled it down gently. "Oh!"

The girl looked like her daughter. Her Tessa. Her Tessa who was God knows where across the world. Why would Derek want her to see her child's lifeless doppelganger? She could see Tessa in her cheeks, though this girl's- Emily's- cheeks were much more hollowed out than Tessa's. "Oh, I'm sorry."

And then, she giggled. The girl under her fingers giggled. Then opened her eyes. Tessa's eyes. "I forgive you." Tessa tossed the sheet off her body and swung her legs around towards her mother. "Hi, Mom. Rough day?"

Addison's hand flew towards her mouth, covering it in shock. Her green eyes danced over Tessa's face, taking it in. She reached out gently, as if afraid to touch her, and then it jerked back before landing smartly on Tessa's unsuspecting cheek. Her daughter jerked back in surprise, but only had time to register what just happened when she was suddenly engulfed in her mother's arms. "Oh, my God! I'm sorry I slapped you but you scared me and I was mad and I missed you! Oh my God my baby's home!"

Tessa happily wrapped her arms around her mom's waist. She could still smell a dab of Chanel perfume under the scent of surgery, and for the first time today, she felt like she was home. "Hi, Mommy. I missed you too."

Addison pulled away for a second, just long enough for her daughter to see her green eyes swimming. She immediately pulled Tessa against her again, her fingers digging into her shoulders. "Oh, missing doesn't even begin to cover it. you're not allowed to leave me ever, ever again. I don't care how much fun you had."

Tessa gently extracted herself from her mother's arms. A voice behind them startled them both. "Did she get you Mom?"

Addison turned around to see her mini me standing there, her aunt's hands on her shoulders and her father smirking from behind. Addison laughed and wiped the tears that fell from her eyes. "Yes, Miss Maddie. She got me. I assume all of you were in on this little prank?"

She was met with an onslaught of denial; all of her closest family sung their innocence. "Okay, sure," She turned back to her oldest, who was still smirking on the gurney. "And just how long have you been home?"

"My plane landed around noon. I've been surprising everyone all day, just like the gift I am."

Her mom rolled her eyes. "Oh, you so hung out with Amelia too long."

"Not going to deny that one."

Addison stared unashamedly at her daughter. A year had been way too long apart. She hated Tessa being in college, but at least they had semi-regular contact, and Tessa actually came home once in a while. Now that she was smiling, she could take a moment to calculate all the differences in her kid. Tessa was much thinner than she had been when she left; she'd always been slim, but this was concerning. Her skin was darker than she'd ever seen it, which immediately made terrifying thoughts of skin cancer pop into her doctor brain. "I'm so happy you're home. Not too thrilled how I found out, but still. You put some thought into this little charade, huh? Even had Amelia make up a chart," Addison scanned the fake chart, wondering just how much consideration her tricky family had put into this. Her green eyes almost launched out of her head when she got to the last bit of information. "You're twelve weeks pregnant!?"

Tessa's mother, aunt, and sister stared at her in disbelief. Derek flashed her grin that screamed _told ya_. She hurried to reassure them, but Addison cut her off. "I cannot believe you tell me I'm a grandmother like this! Now you're early homecoming makes total sense. You're 25 years old Tessa Adrianne. You're about to become an intern with a baby. _A baby._ I can't believe you would do this! What do you have to say for yourself, young lady?"

Tessa smiled patiently at her mother. Her face was almost as red as her hair, just peeking out from the edges of her scrub cap. "Mom. Breathe. I am not pregnant. I just told Dad to add it so you wouldn't question why you were paged. I promise. I am not making you a grandmother right now."

Addison felt her heart rate actively slow down as she heard her daughter's explanation. "Oh. Are you sure?"

"100 percent. Having a baby in the middle of the busiest years of my life? What a ridiculous idea," Tessa teased gently, reminding her mother about her own unplanned baby in her intern year. "Like I told Dad when he freaked out: you guys won't find out I'm pregnant until I've delivered."

"Me too?" Maddie looked utterly offended.

Tessa smiled at her best friend before swinging down off the gurney. "Well, I don't know. You have a pretty good secret keeper record. You never told Mom or Dad about half the stuff I did at Stanford. Then again, that _one_ time I failed a class, you ran straight to Dad."

"To be fair, I immediately demanded she tell me what you had to talk to your six year old sister about at 11 at night."

Tessa simply stated, "Sisters."

Addison sighed and held out her arms to her youngest. Maddie stepped into them, allowing her to be picked up and perched on her hip. "Did you have a good day baby?"

Her daughter nodded enthusiastically. "The best. My best friend came home."

"I know. That made my day pretty good too. How about we all go home, huh? I bet Tessa has really good stories to tell us."

Addison looked at her oldest expectantly. "Where's your bag? We'll put in my car with Maddie's."

Tessa gestured upwards with a jerk of her chin. "It's in Dad's office. I'll go grab it and meet you guys at the doors, okay?"

Her mom nodded with a faint smile before she took off. Addison sighed heavily, her arms suddenly registering the weight of her eight year old. After a long day, her girl was surprisingly heavy. But, she didn't put her down. One day soon, she wouldn't be able to hold her like this; she learned with Tessa that babies grow up way too fast to put them down. "Let's go, guys. Tessa knows where to meet us."

Maddie dropped her head onto her mother's shoulder, their red hair matching, though few knew that Addison's was slightly artificial. "Mom, you're still wearing your scrubs. Don't you wanna change?"

"No, that'd take too long. I want to spend as much time as I can with my girls."

Amelia, who had been discussing the case of patient that was previously hers with Derek, piped up. "I'm afraid I can't make it to the welcome home party."

Derek smirked at her. "Who said you were invited?"

Amelia held up a rude gesture behind her back so her young niece wouldn't see it. "Just tell Tess I'll call her as soon as I can. I think something's up."

Addison nodded in agreement, waving a farewell to her sister. She turned towards her husband, planting a kiss on his lips. Maddie made a sound of disgust between them, which they ignored. Tessa walked up at the moment of affection and smiled. Maddie was making a face, but she never knew the rough patch her parents went through. She didn't know there was a period where the chaste kiss would've been a big deal. It was part of her daily occurrence. Her smile got even bigger when she saw her father tuck her mother under his arm and press another kiss on her temple. As she got closer, she called out, "Get a room!"

Her parents both turned around and rolled their eyes. Addison's cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink. "Oh, stop it. Have you got everything?"

Tessa lifted up her shoulders to show the straps. "Yep. I'm ready," She took a few steps forward then realized her mom hadn't followed. "Mom?"

Addison had put Maddie down, but the little girl's hand was tucked tightly into hers. "That's the only bag you had. You were gone for a year!"

"It's a big backpack…" Tessa glanced at her father unsurely.

"Where's all your stuff?"

Tessa gave her mom a blank look. "What stuff? Everything I needed was in my backpack." She continued walking, linking her arm through her father's. Their dark heads spun around simultaneously when they realized that Addison and Maddie hadn't moved. Derek smiled gently at his wife. "Ads, what's the matter?"

Snapping out of her reverie, the red head took a few steps forward, tugging on her daughter's hand. "Nothing. Let's go home."

Tessa glanced up at her father, puzzled. "What did I do now?"

Derek wrapped his arm around her shoulders with a small smile. "I have no idea. But I'm pretty sure that we'll find out soon."

His daughter groaned, tossing her head back. "Is it too late to go back to Amsterdam?"

"Yes. Yes it is." The serious tone lacing his words made her look up again. His blue eyes were pinned on hers, and Tessa realized that a part of him was upset, too.

"Dad, I'm sorry if I upset you with being gone so long. I'm not sorry I went though. I had the time of my life."

"I'm not sorry that you went either. I'm glad you did, actually. It's just- parents worry about their children no matter what they're doing. I worry about you and Maddie even when I'm not actively thinking about you guys. And then you weren't there. I couldn't see with my own eyes that you were okay, or sometimes even hear it in your voice. Emails can hide a lot. It's not so much for me anymore, but your Mom worries every time you leave her sight- for a different reason. I feel it too. It just affects her differently. As much as she likes to pretend that she doesn't feel normal people emotions, she does and she feels them much stronger."

Tessa nodded and watched ahead of her as her mom made sure Maddie was safely buckled in. "I know," She sighed. "I know."

Maddie looked thoroughly overjoyed as she watched her sister swing into the back seat beside her. Tessa smiled back at her. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

The eight year old shrugged. "I missed looking at you."

"You're too sweet. How'd that happen? Nobody in this family is sweet." The observation made the little girl giggle. Tessa spared a glance upwards toward her mother, but her face was turned towards the window. She could see her dad was glancing at his wife periodically as well.

The rest of the drive was filled with Maddie filling in Tessa on all she missed out on this year. "Well, you know about Auntie Amy. Sophia and Zola are in high school- your high school. Callie moved home a few months ago too."

"I thought she was only supposed to be in New York for a couple of years. She was coming home when I left for college."

"Yeah, but she stayed. Ooh! And one of the new interns has a crush on Dad."

The young woman's eyes shot towards her father. "Really? Again?"

Derek looked at her in the rear view mirror. "Don't ask. It's not that big a deal."

"What do mean again?" Maddie's innocent voice asked.

Her mother finally said something. "Great." She muttered the word bitterly under her breath.

"Hey, I didn't know she didn't know. I thought she knew!"

"Knew what?" Maddie asked impatiently.

Tessa sighed. "When we first moved out here when I was a little older than you, Meredith had a crush on Dad. That's all."

"Oh. That's not a big deal. That's all I don't know right?"

Without giving her question another moment to echo in her head, Tessa said, "Yes. That's all."

Satisfied that her sister would tell her the truth, Maddie nodded and moved on. "Anyways, Rachel- that's the intern- tried to get Dad to date her. Then Mom introduced herself."

"Were you there or something?"

"No. Auntie Amy was. She told me everything."

Tessa nodded. "Of course."

Maddie began to chatter excitedly, but Addison quickly stopped her. "Maddie, that's enough. You don't have to get your sister caught up with everything that happened in one car ride."

The little girl nodded solemnly, realizing that she'd been talking too much. "Sorry, Mom." Her head fell; she hated upsetting them in any way, even if it was a minor thing like being quiet for a minute.

Addison knew it wasn't right to take her frustration out on her youngest. She didn't deserve it; she only wanted to talk to her sister for a while and she couldn't hold that against her. She'd seen how much her little one had missed Tessa, and she knew how ecstatic she was to have her back home. But she also knew her head was pounding from the adrenaline rush she always got when she received an emergency page to the pit, upped by her daughter coming home. A sigh forced away out of her lungs. A warm hand grabbed onto hers, and she squeezed instinctively.

Behind her, the girls were talking again, much quieter than before. She heard her husband ask softly, "What's the matter, Ads? Tell me what you're thinking."

"I have a headache, Derek. That's all."

"I don't believe you."

Addison shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you. That's it."

Her husband hummed. "Well, considering our daughter just returned from a gap year traveling where we rarely had contact with her, I find it hard to believe that a headache would make you be in a bad mood."

"It's a really bad headache."

Derek backed off; he knew what that tone mixed with sarcasm meant. "Okay."

The parents were silent after that. They listened to their daughters talk, realizing just how much they missed that sound filling up their lives. When they finally pulled into the drive way, Addison hopped out first, disappearing into the house. When his daughters looked at him, Derek just shrugged. "She said she has a bad headache."

Tessa raised an eyebrow. "Hmm."

Maddie slung her pink Disney princess backpack over her shoulder while looking up at her sister. "What?"

The young woman said nothing at first, grabbing her own bag from the trunk of the car. "Nothing. Something's bothering Mom and I'll bet anything it has something to do with me. It usually does. You're the perfect child."

Maddie watched carefully as her sister and dad went inside, talking quietly. She dropped her backpack on the couch, promising herself to do her math homework later. She slipped into the kitchen only to find it empty. The little girl frowned, but hurried upstairs. Tessa's door was still closed; it had been since she left. Her mom only opened it when she cleaned. From her left, she heard a cabinet close from her parent's room. Her mom must have been getting something for her head. Maddie quietly walked into the master bedroom. "Mom?"

"In here, honey. I'll be out in a minute."

The eight and half year old sat quietly on the edge of the bed, straightening her plaid uniform skirt. When her mother finally came out of the bathroom, she smiled sweetly at her. She had changed out of her scrubs and into her old pajamas." Does your head still hurt, Momma? Can I do anything for you?"

Addison felt her heart swell with love for her little girl. She was so sweet and considerate. "I took something for it, baby. But thank you for offering. You're the sweetest."

"Would a hug make you feel better?" Maddie held her arms out expectantly.

Addison smiled and swept up her girl. "Always. Where did your Dad and sister get off to?"

"I don't know. I wanted to find you."

"Well, I'm glad you did. But, if those two are left alone for too long, the house may catch on fire. Come on. I bet your sister has a ton of laundry, and she's pretty helpless when it comes to that."

Addison held Maddie on her hip until they passed her room. "Do you want to change too? I know you hate wearing your uniform."

The little girl nodded and her mother set her down. "I'll meet you in the kitchen okay? Want do you want for dinner? I'll make you whatever you want."

Maddie's eyes popped open widely. "Uhh…"

Addison sighed, knowing why her daughter hesitated. Her cooking skills still hadn't improved much, though not for lack of trying. "Fine. I'll order from you and your sister's favorite Chinese place; sound good?"

"Yep!"

The red head smiled fondly as she made her way downstairs. She heard chatter coming from the kitchen and found her daughter telling her husband a story.

"So, I'm riding in the back of a cab that's half bike, the street is packed and the driver is just zigzagging through all the traffic. I'm holding on for dear life, and he's trying to talk to me, half in Indian and half in English. All of a sudden-" Tessa cut herself off when she caught the sight of her mother standing in the doorway. Addison nodded for her to continue. "All of a sudden, he stops because an elephant is crossing the road. I'm not joking, or trying to make a stereotype or anything. A real Indian elephant, just going for a stroll. It was amazing!"

Derek laughed. "So then what happened?"

"He just crossed. My driver acted as if that was something that happened every day, and I'm gaping like an idiot in the back seat. Then he took to my hostel. I only stayed for like four days. Then I took a plane to Kabul."

"You went to Kabul?"

"Yeah. There had just been a pretty bad air strike a few days prior so it was hard to get a flight in."

Addison eyed her daughter carefully. "Why would you go there? It's dangerous."

"I heard there was an air strike, and I wanted to help. I volunteered at a hospital. You couldn't believe what came through those doors, or what the doctors had to use to help people. It was awful."

Derek was no longer laughing. "You went there because of the air strike?" Those words didn't fit coming from his daughter's mouth. They didn't make sense at all.

Tessa dipped a carrot into a container of hummus and answered, "Yeah. They needed help. I could help. I am a medical doctor, you know."

"Tessa, that was incredibly dangerous. What if there had been another attack? What if it had hit the hospital?"

"Then I would've been there to help anyone would've been hurt, and I hope someone like me came to help too. What's the big deal?"

Addison crossed the room to stand across from her daughter, worry and anger coursing through her."The big deal, Tessa, is that you could've been seriously hurt or God forbid killed, and we would've never known. Did you even think about that?"

The young woman glared at her parents, who now stood as a united angered front, staring back at her just as intensely. "Of course I thought about that. I almost turned right back around because I thought I was completely over my head. And then, when I was standing in the middle of this overrun hospital, covered in screaming, dying people, this little girl walked up to me. Blood and dust covered her from head to toe, and she had tear tracks running down her face. She grabbed by hand and tugged on it, just like Maddie does. Her entire family was killed; she had _no one._ Anywhere I went that night, she followed me. No matter how many times I told her to leave, that she didn't need to see someone dying, she wouldn't.

And every time she grabbed my hand, all I could think was, what if that was Maddie? What if something happened like that? Who would help her? I delivered her personally to a girl's orphanage, which didn't look much better than the hospital, but at least she was safe. It got me thinking," Tessa paused, feeling the fire draining out of her. "I don't think I'm going to intern at Seattle Grace."

Her mother balked. "Why?" She didn't know why she bothered asking; she knew exactly why.

"Because I want to help people who aren't being helped enough. I know I can help people here, but not for another four years. And I'm always going to be Shepherd's daughter there. I'm never going to be my own person. I'll always be in your shadows, no matter what I do. People will expect me to be just like you two, and I'm not. I don't want to be you. I want to really make a difference."

"So you're leaving again?" The little, heartbroken voice sounded from the doorway. Maddie stood there in an old soccer tee shirt of her sister's, tears welling up in her big blue eyes. "You're leaving me again?"

Tessa glanced unsurely at her parents, who looked terribly torn between comforting their youngest or berating their oldest. The brunette quickly walked over to her sister, bending down to look her in the eye. She grabbed her little sister's shoulders, squeezing tightly. "I'm not leaving you, Maddie. I'm going to help people who really need it. It just so happens that they're really far away. I'll come back, I promise."

"You said that last time! You told me you would come to see me, that you couldn't be away that long. I didn't see you for a whole year! You lied, and you're lying now. You won't come back, and I don't want you to!" Without another word, Maddie ripped herself out from underneath her sister's hands. Tessa reached to stop her, but she slipped from her fingers. Tessa heard her father call out to the little girl, but that didn't stop her. Her little feet stomped up the stairs, and the house echoed with the slamming of her door.

Tessa felt her heart break, actively crack down the middle as her head fell to her hands. She felt a pair of hands wrap around her shoulders, but she shrugged them off. "No. She's right. I told I would come home, and I didn't. I am an awful big sister. I'm an awful daughter, too. I lied to you guys as well. I'm sorry."

Derek stood helplessly behind his daughter, thrown off by her decline of comfort. He looked towards his wife, who shrugged. He looked pointedly upwards, silently telling her to go talk to their littlest girl while he took care of the biggest one. She shook her head, gesturing for him to go upstairs while she talked to Tessa. He nodded, and moved swiftly up the stairs. Addison moved closer to her daughter still kneeling on the floor. "Tessa, get up sweetheart."

Her daughter sat there for another minute, but climbed to her feet, allowing her mom to guide her to the barstools. "Listen to me. You are not an awful sister, and you most certainly aren't an awful daughter. Even when you say you don't want to be like me."

Tessa began to protest, but Addison held up her hand. "I know what you meant. I know. But, Tess, she's eight- almost nine in a few weeks. You've been a constant in her life since she can remember. I know you were off at school, but you made a point of coming home and visiting often. And then, you were just gone. She missed you every day, just like we did. On the days we did hear from you, she would light up so much."

"I know. Look, it wasn't all fun and adventures. There were days that I was so homesick I didn't know what to do. I thought about coming home all the time. And then…" Tessa trailed off, studying her hand. And that's when Addison noticed the thin gold band on her third finger on her left hand. Her mother gasped, grabbing her hand. "You got married?! And you're only just telling me?!"

Her daughter gently extracted her hand from her rigid hold. "No. I got engaged. He was supposed come home with me, to meet you and Dad. He had to stay behind."

Addison took a moment to catch her breath. "He?"

Tessa smiled fondly, her eyes glazed. "Finn. He's from Scotland. We met in Berlin at the- the tattoo parlor."

"You're engaged and you got a tattoo. Are you sure you're not trying to give me a heart attack? Because you're getting really close."

Tucking her hair behind her ear, she smiled again. "Look at it." Tessa tugged the left sleeve of her sweater down, and revealed a beautiful, delicate flower etched into the skin of her wrist. It was small, only about the size of the pad of her thumb. Addison swept her thumb across it, sucking in a breath. "Oh, it's beautiful."

"It's a rose, for Maddie. And on the pedals, I have an 'A' and 'D' for you and Dad. You guys are always with me. I got the rose first, but figured I'd better do something for you guys too. I got a couple more." She admitted sheepishly.

Her mother shook her head exasperatedly. "Where are they?"

Tessa pulled up her right sleeve up to her elbow, and a tiny little star appeared on the pale skin. "I got it my first night away. It's supposed to be the North Star, always leading me home."

"And?"

"I can't show you."

When her mother's eyes widened, Tessa laughed. "No, it's not like that. It's on my shoulder. It's not any bigger than the others; it's two words. Breathe in Latin on one shoulder and family in Gaelic on my left, near my heart. They're all for you."

Addison sighed heavily before reaching out to cup her cheeks. "Oh, my girl. I am incredibly proud of who you are. I am so proud that all you want to do is help people. I wish it was a little more local, but the world doesn't work that way. If it were up to me, you'd still be six and think I was a super hero. But now you're all grown up. You're engaged, which we will talk about later, and you want to save the world. I can't fault you that. I just want you to be prepared that you won't be able to. You won't be able to save them all, and with you're heart that's three sizes too big, that's going to hurt. You of all people know how to live with hurt, though don't you?"

The brunette exhaled. "Not this kind of pain. Mom, she said she didn't want to see me. She doesn't mean it does she?"

Addison frowned. "Oh, baby of course not. She was just upset. Of course she wants to see you. There's nobody that she loves more than you. I know it's hard, hearing her say something like that. You and your sister can be quite dramatic. I don't know who you two get it from."

Tessa chuckled softly. "I dropped a lot on you, huh?"

"Yeah, you did. So, tell me more about this boy. Why couldn't he come meet us?"

Running her fingers through her hair, Tessa sighed dreamily. "He's…wonderful. His full name is Finley Alec Forbes. I call him Finn, but since Finley's also his father's name, he's gone by Alec. His family said Finn was undignified. I have a picture of him. He couldn't come because he had to fly home. His grandmother died."

Her daughter pulled her phone out of her back pocket, swiping her thumb across the bottom. On the background, Addison noticed for a moment a picture of her girl standing next to a man, but the screen disappeared and an album of photos popped up. After a few more clicks, another picture of the couple, in much clearer detail. She immediately saw what drew her daughter to him.

The young man gazing adoringly at her daughter was handsome, but not overly so. With brown hair, a few shades lighter than Tessa's and eyes the color of a stormy sea, he certainly was striking. He was tan, but he'd obviously worn sunglasses because the tan line around his eyes was a stark contrast. But what struck her most was the look on his partially scruffy face. His eyes were warm and soft, each a sun setting and rising with her daughter. Her smile in the picture was bigger than she'd ever seen it, and only being helplessly and head over heels in love could make her glow like that.

"I mean, it's not perfect. We met at the tattoo parlor, and I thought he was arrogant prick. But then, he apologized for being an ass, and bought me a cup of coffee. We hit it off," Tessa looked down suddenly, pulling her phone back. "At first I pushed him away, because I thought he couldn't really mean all the wonderful things he said. But he stuck around, showing up all over the place. He finally grew on me. And then I woke up from a nightmare. He was there, and I was suddenly telling him everything. I told him how I never expected to actually fall in love because of all my scars, external and internal. What sold me was his answer. He told me I've never seen scars so elegant and beautifully worn. Never hide your strength."

A warm flush had crept up her neck, a sure sign she was trying not to cry. "My baby girl's in love. How did that happen?"

"I don't know. I can't wait for you guys to meet him. You'll love him."

"Love who?" Derek had emerged from upstairs, looking haggard. Mother and daughter shared a heavy glance, and a pregnant pause weighed down the room as both were reluctant to answer.

"You'll love my fiancée. Finn."

Derek stared at her a moment, glanced at his wife, and back at his daughter. "What?"

Tessa held up her left hand, the thin gold band catching the light. She winced as her father's eyes widened upon seeing the ring. Then, his ruggedly handsome face hardened. "A boy had the audacity to propose to you without asking your mother and me?"

"Well, to be fair, that's my fault. I told him that you would want to meet him in person first, and that would take too long. I may have also told him I didn't believe in such tradition. And by 'I', I mean you and Mom."

Her father's stern face didn't change with her explanation. Tessa timidly stepped closer, the offending hand tucked in her pocket. "Dad, you know me. You know I wouldn't pick the wrong person. You know I would be completely, 100 percent sure before I did something like this. I knew he was the one from the start, but I didn't let myself believe it. I love him, and because you love me, I know you'll accept him. He was supposed to come home with me to meet you- which he badly wanted to do- but his grandmother died. He had to go home," Then as an afterthought, she said again, "Dad. I love him."

Derek's face softened slowly, still displaying discomfort at the thought. "What does he do? How did you meet?"

His daughter smiled. "Finley Forbes. He's a doctor from Scotland. He volunteered in the Peace Corps four years ago and has been with them ever since. All of his brothers followed their father into the family business, some major cooperation, so he's the black sheep. He's 29."

"Sounds like a prep boy. Where did he go to school?" Tessa could see her father trying to find something wrong with the description of her fiancée, but he was falling short.

"Oxford. He loves to read, but not nearly as much as me," Tessa suddenly looked down, twisting her engagement ring on her finger. "I know me coming home and dropping all of these bombs on you is terribly unfair. I guess they've been in my head so long, I forgot how scary they sound to my parents. But I'm still me. I'm still your little girl. I'm just a grown up version."

Derek's piercing blue eyes took her in, calculatingly. "I know you are. And you're right, they are hard to hear, but they should be no surprise. You've always known what you want and how to get it. And your mother and I should never be hurdles in your path. We just always want to know that you're safe and happy, because nothing else matters to us," His eyes flicked to his wife, inviting her to join in. She did so, coming up to stand next to her husband, always the united front.

"Your dad's right. We can still see our little Tessa, but we can also see she's changed- and for the better. You're doing all things you're supposed to be doing: falling in love, finding your place in the world, getting tattoos and living your life. We're so proud of you, sweetheart. We couldn't be any more proud."

When Tessa looked back up at her parents, tears sparkled in her eyes. She rushed forward, locking her arms around both of them. Addison pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, like she had ever since she was a newborn. Derek squeezed her tightly, torn by wishing she was a little girl again, and he was her knight in shining armor and seeing her grow into the woman he had raised her to be.

When the young woman pulled away, her eyes were once again forlorn. She looked to her father. "How's Maddie?"

Derek smiled sadly and tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "I think she needs to talk to the person she thinks she doesn't need to talk to."

As their oldest daughter clomped up the stairs, Derek turned to his wife and said, "Did I hear you say something about tattoos?"

Tessa paused at the top of the stairs. Her sister's door was partially open; the lavender walls the same for almost nine years. Maddie was curled up on her side in the middle of the bed, staring stubbornly at the wall. She didn't acknowledge Tessa's presence, but the oldest Shepherd knew she knew.

A sigh escaped her as she sat gingerly on the edge of the bed. "Maddie." She only said her name, hoping the little girl would turn to her. It didn't work. So Tessa began to talk.

"Before you were born, I wasn't keen on having a sibling. It wasn't until I went to an appointment with Mom and Dad the day we found out you were a girl that I truly wanted you. After that, you and Mom became the most important people in my life. From that day on, I made sure she was perfectly healthy so you were perfectly healthy. And I was there the day you were born. You were sick, and we were all so scared. But then, we got to see you. God, Mads, were you little. I'd never seen a human being so small. Then Dr. Robbins told me I could touch you, so I stuck my hand in the isolette. Your tiny little hand grabbed my finger and squeezed. Then you looked at me. You looked at me. I was the first thing you ever saw.

"I didn't leave your side that night. And I'm not leaving it now. Maddie, I know you're upset with me and you have every right to be. But know that there was nobody I missed more than you that entire time I was gone. Everywhere I went I was reminded of you. Flower in the middle of the busiest street in Paris? Maddie. A rainbow over the Greek islands? Maddie. A little girl clinging to my hand in the middle of the hospital? Maddie. You were always with me."

"If you missed me so much, why didn't you come home?" Her little voice was so soft, Tessa almost missed her question. She leaned forward on her hands, trying to see her sister's face.

"Because I was finding myself. Something I could never do here. I breathed different air and changed. I became the person I am supposed to be. I found the love of my life."

That caught Maddie attention. She glanced almost unwillingly over her shoulder. "Really?"

"Yep. Come here."

Maddie hesitated for a moment, but curiosity won in the end. She scooted down to the edge of the bed, peering over at the phone her sister had pulled out. A young man had his lips pressed against her sister's cheek. Tessa then turned her hand over, revealing her ring. The little girl gasped, realizing what Tessa meant. "You're married?"

"No. I'm only engaged. I know there's not that much of a difference and it's still a big thing to keep from my family. I've kept a lot from you in a year and that's not fair. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I never meant to. But, like I told Dad earlier, I'm not sorry I went. I needed to go, and I loved every minute."

"But you're going back." Her words were definite, not a question. She knew.

"I am. I want to help as many people as I can. I want to make you proud."

Maddie released a little sob and Tessa's heart wrenched. She launched her arms around her girl's shoulders, pulling her into her side. "Oh, Mads."

"I can be proud of you here. You don't have to leave."

Tessa sniffled before she pressed a kiss to her sister's forehead. "Yeah, baby I do. I can feel it in my heart. I need to go. But look, you are always, _always_ with me."

The brunette pulled back and pulled her sleeve up, revealing the tattoo on her wrist. Maddie sniffled, blurrily seeing the outline of a tattoo on her sister's wrist. "Wh-what is it?"

Tessa leaned closer and whispered in her ear, "It's a little rose for my little rose. My Madelyn Rose. You are permanently with me in my heart and in my skin."

Maddie looked up, her blue eyes swimming. "R-really? It's for me?"

"Uh huh. And on two of the petals I had an A and D put on afterwards so Mom and Dad wouldn't feel left out. But it's really for you. Don't tell them."

Her baby sister giggled before falling against her side again. "You're my best friend, Tessa."

"I know, baby. And you're mine. And I promise I'll be better this time. And I'll be home for a while before I leave again. How does that sound?"

"Like the best days ever."


	35. Happier Times

"Finn, relax. Quit fidgeting." Tessa smoothed her hand over her husband's arm, trying to soothe him.

Finn snorted. "I'd relax if your dad didn't still act like I stole you out from his arms every time he sees me. We've been married for two bloody years."

Tessa smiled and pressed a kiss to his freshly shaven cheek as they climbed the last two steps up to her childhood home. "I know it's not fair. I've tried talking to him about it, but he refuses to budge. He says it's because I'm his little girl. I'll try again though." The sigh the followed her reassurance was heavy and Finn hurried to retract his complaint.

"No, I don't want you to stress yourself out. I know it gets your blood pressure all high when we argue so I'll be on my best behavior for you." His large hands wrapped around her waist on the doorstep, pulling her in for a loving kiss. Tessa melted into his embrace, feeling a warm gush of adoration fill up her heart. In front of them, they belatedly realized the door was opening. The sound of someone clearing their throat made them tug apart. An 11 year old Maddie stood there, smirking.

"Merry Christmas, lovebirds."

Tessa strode forward and pressed a loud kiss on the top of her head. "Hey, munchkin. Who's all here?" Finn followed behind, pulling Maddie into his chest.

The pre-teen squirmed out of his arms good-naturedly. "Just because my gross sister likes it, doesn't mean I do, Finn."

Tessa hung up her coat before striding into the kitchen. Her mother stood behind the counter, cheek covered in flour and a more concentrated frown then when she performed surgery. Amelia and Arizona were manning the oven. "Hello?"

All three heads popped up at the sound of her voice. A giant grin grew on her mother's face as she raced to hug her. "Tessa! I was afraid you weren't going to make it! Merry Christmas!"

Mumbling into her mother's shoulder, Tessa answered. "I know; I'm sorry. Woke up late this morning."

Addison held her back from her shoulders, looking her up and down. Something was off. She couldn't _see_ it; her daughter looked perfectly normal in her maroon sweater and black high- waisted skirt. Something was off. Her hands moved to cup her cheeks, making Tessa's green eyes meet in surprise.

"What are you doing?"

The red head didn't say a word, just continued to study her daughter. Finally, she spoke. "Something's up with you."

"I don't know what you're talking about." The young woman pushed her mother's hands off her cheeks and spun to greet her aunt.

"Hey, Amelia. How are you?" The petite brunette dusted her hands off on her jeans before giving her a squeeze.

"I'm good, except your little cousins are surely trying to kill me. They woke us up at five a.m."

"How's Charlie?"

Amelia smiled at the mention of her newest baby. Charlotte Evelyn Shepherd Hunt was born four months ago, joining her older brother, Oliver. While Ollie was a carbon copy of his father, little Miss Charlotte was a Shepherd through and through. "She's great. Actually, Ollie woke all of us up, Charlie included. She adores her big brother, but not after he wakes her up-loudly. She's upstairs taking a nap."

"Well she needs to wake up. I want to say hi," Tessa called as moved to hug Arizona as well. "Hey, Zona. Do you have Sofia today?"

"Yeah, she's here. I think she's in your room with Zola."

Tessa rolled her eyes in mock annoyance. "Who else is here?"

Addison counted off her guests on her fingers. "Callie should be here later, Meredith and Zola, of course Amelia and Owen, you and Finn, Alex and Jo with Logan, and I think April and Jackson said they were coming by. Bailey and Ben said they couldn't make it so it's relatively a small party today."

"Oh, yeah practically tiny." Tessa smirked as she popped a marshmallow from the sweet potatoes in her mouth, dodging her mother's swatting hand. "So why are the teenagers in my room?"

Amelia snorted. "Such disdain in your voice considering you were a teenager not too long ago."

"Almost a decade ago, thank you. God, that makes feel old. And if it makes me feel old, you guys must feel ancient."

"Hmm, and if you keep talking like that you won't know what being ancient feels even feels like."

"Ha ha. I'm going to go say hi to everyone else." Tessa moved from the kitchen to the living room, where all the rest of her family gathered. Meredith jumped up from the ottoman to hug her.

"There she is! God, I feel like I haven't seen you in years. Where have you been?"

Tessa laughed as pulled away and sat on the arm of the couch next to her husband. "Well, most recently, we were in Guatemala. But, you're right. It has been a while. How's Zola?"

Meredith's face fell and she rolled her eyes. "She is a teenager. An angst filled, pink stripe in her hair teenager. Honestly she's just like I was and it makes me want to apologize anyone who knew me as a teenager."

"Hey. Where's my hug?" A gruff voice called from the other side of the room over the Christmas music filling the house. Alex stood near Jackson, who had appeared after all. April had already cornered Arizona in the kitchen. Tessa grinned broadly as she hurried to her friend.

"Since when have you ever asked for a hug from me?"

"Since when have you never volunteered to give me one?"

Tessa rolled her eyes after he released her. "And here I thought becoming a father would make you more mature. How wrong I was."

Alex puffed out his chest importantly. "Hey, I was already plenty mature; if anything, playing with a toddler all day has made it worse."

"You love it."

"That's very true. My little man's the best. He's out playing with Ollie."

Finn called out to her from his seat on the couch. "Tess, how many villages did we visit last month?"

She quirked her eyebrow at the strange question. "Uh, I don't know. Maybe eight or nine? Why?"

"Your dad wanted statistics, to see if we still needed to save the world."

A round of footsteps pounding down the stairs sounded, and everyone glanced upwards as Sofia, Zola, and Maddie arrived at the foot of the stairs. An old paper was gripped tightly in Maddie's fist, tight enough to have left permanent crinkles in the paper. Confusion was written all over her face as she sought after Tessa. When she caught sight of her sister, she suddenly looked relieved.

"Tessa, I found this newspaper in a box under your bed. It says something about-" She paused as she lifted the paper to read the title-"About famous Seattle surgeons' daughter being found. It has a picture of Mom and Dad. You went missing?"

Tessa sucked in a breath as she glanced at everyone in the room. Her father was pale, eyes glued to his youngest. Of course, everyone besides the three girls knew exactly what she had found; a time they hadn't thought about in years. Tessa finally spoke, but Maddie didn't get her answer.

"Mom? Could you come in here for a moment?"

Addison appeared a moment later, looking annoyed. "Tessa, I'm busy cooking; I don't have time to break up an argument between-" She drifted off as she read the tension in the room. "What's going on?"

Tessa nodded towards her sister. "Maddie found the box."

Her mother's hand flew to her mouth in shock, her green eyes wide. "Oh."

Maddie looked furiously between her mother and sister. "What is going on? Someone tell me!"

Meredith cleared her throat. "I'll uh, take over the cooking with Amelia and Arizona if you guys need a moment. Come on, to the kitchen everyone." The blonde herded the small party into the kitchen.

Addison cleared her throat before glancing at her husband. Derek shrugged helplessly, as if to say, _we knew this day was coming_. "Honey, why don't you come sit down?"

Maddie nodded before moving to the couch, sitting between her parents. Tessa came to sit on the ottoman, opposite the rest of her family. She sighed, rubbing her hands up and down her arms. She could feel her sister's eyes on her, imploring her to explain.

"Tessa? You're scaring me."

The young woman winced. "I know. I'm sorry. It's just- this something I haven't thought about in a very long time, and I'm trying to find a delicate way to tell you."

The little red head raised her chin defiantly. "You don't have to be delicate for my benefit. I can handle it."

Tessa chuckled humorlessly. She couldn't help it; Maddie sounded just like her. "Mads, trust me. You want me to sugarcoat. If someone told me this, I'd want them to sugarcoat and it happened to me," Before continuing, she ran her fingers through her curls, remembering last moment that her bangs were pulled back with a clip. "Do you remember when you were younger and I would have nightmares?"

Maddie nodded, still looking puzzled. "Yeah. You told me they happened when you were stressed."

"That's right. And that's still true. I have awful nightmares when I'm extremely stressed, even to this day. But, I always dream the same thing."

"What?"

"I dream about the man who kidnapped me."

Maddie didn't react in the way she thought she would. Her face didn't change, nor did she speak. Her face paled, but that was all. Tessa glanced at her parents and winced as she noticed tears growing in her mother's eyes.

Finally ,Maddie spoke. "You were kidnapped? When? I don't remember that." She said it as if because she had no memory of it happening, her family must have been lying, that her sister had never been stolen.

"Before you were born, when I was fifteen."

"But how?"

This was the question she was afraid of. The last time she'd told her story, it had been to Finn and he had immediately pulled her into his chest and made the memories dissipate. Looking down at her wedding ring, she began.

"One day, during the summer I went to the hospital to visit Mom and Dad. Before I got to either of them, a man took me and drugged me. He drove me to this cabin in the woods and left me in the basement to wake up after the drugs had worn off." She had purposely left out the part where he raped her; no need to further horrify her innocent sister.

"When I woke up, I wasn't alone. There was another girl he had stolen there. Her name-" Tessa broke off, her throat suddenly full. She hadn't allowed herself to think about her friend in a long time. "Her name was Violet, and she helped me more than anyone ever has. She protected me the best she could."

"What did you need protecting from?" Horror had seeped into Maddie's features, distorting her face.

Tessa again looked to her parents, looking to them for help. Her father only looked back at her helplessly, blue eyes damp and heavy. Her mother had her arm wrapped around Maddie's shoulder, looking just as tortured as her daughter.

"The man who took me, he hurt me. Badly."

"How?"

An almost forgotten but still familiar pain coursed through her. She most certainly didn't want to talk about it. But, her sister deserved answers. After all, these horrid events had indirectly led to her creation.

"I won't go into details. He starved me, beat me. Forced me to do things I didn't want to do."

Maddie's face twisted in disgust. "He- he _raped_ you?!" She breathed in disbelief.

"How do know about that?"

Now the girl looked offended. "I'm not a child, Tessa. I'm not as naïve as you think. You don't need to baby me."

"I'll keep that in mind." A lie, of course. No matter how long she lived, her sister would always be that tiny little baby girl with scraps of red hair clinging to her tiny head.

"It took me four months to finally escape, and it almost cost me my life. It did cost Violet's life. She died of complications from trying to save us."

Maddie turned now to her mother, her pale, teary mother. "I don' t understand. Why am I just now hearing about this? Any of this?"

"That's my doing. I made everyone who knew to not tell you."

Maddie attention flashed back to her sister. Outrage colored her cheeks. "Why?"

Tessa met her angry blue eyes dead on, fully expecting her anger. "Because I was trying to protect you."

"That's not your job!"

"Yes it is. Whether you like it not, I'll protect you for the rest of my life. I'd die for you and not question it. Maddie, you don't understand how messed up I was when I came home. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, I jumped at every shadow and trusted no one. I did my best to fix myself before you were born to make sure you never were affected by it."

Still, Maddie didn't look convinced. "So you hid a major part of your life from me?!"

All of the sudden, a burning fire filled her veins and Tessa got to her feet. Her sister had no right to make her feel bad about hiding this from her. She would never regret it.

"You can be angry at me for this all you want, but I don't regret it. That was one of the darkest times in this family's lives and perhaps besides sparing your feelings, I was sparing everyone else's- including mine- for not having to relive it!"

The eleven-year-old's eyes filled with tears as her sister's voice rose. "I can't believe you would do this to me. I hate you!" she leapt from the couch and flew up the stairs. Tessa sat down heavily as the door slammed, her head falling into her palms. She tensed when she felt a pair of strong arms around her, but relaxed when recognized the aftershave Finn put on this morning. She turned into his embrace, tears soaking his freshly pressed dark green shirt.

"Shh, you're okay."

Addison wilted into her husband's arms, much like her daughter had. She had seen the young man come in at the sound of Tessa's raised voice and as soon as Maddie had fled the room, swooped in to comfort her before either of her parents could. It felt odd to sit there and watch her child seek the comfort she'd always been able to provide from someone else. A foreign itch she'd never felt before her daughter got married.

Finn gently pulled back, keeping one arm wrapped around his wife's shoulder. He reached for the glass of water he'd left on the table and brought to Tessa. "Here, you need to keep hydrated. You haven't had any water today."

Tessa looked up at him with wide red eyes, and took the glass quickly. She gulped it down quickly, keeping her eyes on his. "Th-thank you. I'd forgotten."

Finn's smile was warm and filled with adoration as he wiped a stray tear off her cheek. "I know. You just can't let yourself get dehydrated. You'll have to watch yourself more at work. And listen, she just needs time to process. She's not really upset you didn't tell her; she's upset because something horrid happened to her beloved sister and she's never had time to process it. Just give her time."

Tessa nodded as her sweet husband pressed to her temple and disappeared back towards the kitchen. She looked miserably towards her parents and asked barely above a whisper, "He's right, right? I know I did the right thing with all of this."

Her mother nodded definitively. "Yes. I know it was a long time ago and different when she was just a baby and you- we wanted to protect her. Even now I think she's too young to know. Then again, I think if she found out later, this would've been much worse."

The young woman nodded in agreement before her resolve crumpled again. Tears sprang up in her green eyes. "I don't think I can talk to her right now. But I know I need to."

Her father nodded before releasing his wife and scooped his oldest daughter into his arms. "You did well, Tess. I'm very proud of you. I always am, but you handled this better than I could've ever imagined. Just give her some time."

Tessa smiled weakly at him as he released her. She got up from her perch and went quietly up the stairs. She tiptoed past her sister's room straight into her mother's. Lying on the middle of the bed was Charlie, now just coming to from her nap. She wriggled, her little arms waving in the air. Despite herself, Tessa smiled and moved towards the baby. She scooped her up, cradling her against her chest. "Hello, Charlotte. I'm afraid we've never had the opportunity to meet. I'm your big cousin, Tessa. You might confuse me with your mom sometimes because we look just alike. But she's much better than I am, and she loves you very much. She's a great mommy, you and your brother Ollie are very lucky. She's one of my favorite people on Earth." The baby frowned at the sound of her voice, her pudgy fingers reaching for Tessa's moving lips.

Tessa studied the little girl closely. There was no denying that the little girl was a Shepherd; with her dark hair and blue, blue eyes there was no denying her lineage. The only sign she was Owen's daughter was the girl's nose and mouth. That was all Hunt. Tessa stroked the infant's nose, making her giggle. Both Shepherd girls looked up at the sound of a well loved but unexpected voice.

"I thought I might find you in here." Amelia stood at the door, gazing fondly at her two girls. She came to the edge of the bed and perched there next to her niece, reaching for her daughter. Tessa passed her into her awaiting arms, smiling at the baby all the while.

"She just woke up when I came in. I was bragging on how wonderful you are."

"What were you really telling my baby?"

Her niece snorted. "That's all. You're still my best friend, even after all these years."

"Oh, am I? And here I thought that strapping young Scotsman in the kitchen had replaced me."

"Nope. Finn may be the love of my life, but nobody can replace you. You and Maddie are my everything."

Amelia smiled at her as she absentmindedly stroked her daughter's cheek. "Oh, yeah? I bet we'll be put on the backburner not too long from now."

Tessa flicked her eyes to her curiously. "What do you mean by that?"

The petite woman rolled her eyes. "Please. I knew from the moment you came in to the kitchen. How far along are you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," When Amelia pursed her lips knowingly at her, Tessa sighed. "Fine. Thirteen weeks today. Don't tell anyone yet, please. Not even Mom knows, though I suspect she has a clue."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

The younger woman shrugged as she moved her hand to her still flat stomach. She'd been ignoring the urges to do so all day. "We didn't know at first. We thought I had a bad bug from something I ate or the water. I took a test- actually quite a few tests- when we got home. Then, I got it confirmed again at the doctor's. I have a special reveal planned."

"Well, I'm incredibly happy for you. God, I can't believe you're pregnant. It seems like just yesterday your mom and dad we're telling me the same thing. Of course I was the fist person they told. Your dad basically said stay away until I was completely clean."

"Finn's been wonderful. Almost too wonderful. Always hovering, making sure I'm eating enough, staying hydrated. It's all remarkably sweet, but a little too much. I can take care of myself, much as he tends to forget."

"Tess, he loves you. Quite madly, I'll add. Owen did the same to me, and your dad did the same to Addie. They know how much we suffer later on so they try to make up for it. Doesn't work, but the thought is always there."

Tessa reached over and cupped Charlie's soft cheek. "I can't wait till I have my own. I never thought I wanted one, especially just after. Now, I see you and Charlie and that's all I want."

"You were great practice."

"I was lucky enough to have a fantastic aunt. I wonder if my child will get to experience the same."

She heard Amelia hum in sympathy as a soft arm went around her shoulders. "Oh kiddo. She'll come around. That little girl idolizes you. I can't tell you how much she adores you. One year, she wanted to dress up like you for Halloween! She just needs you to talk to her, one on one. Now, perhaps. You know, before we're sitting around a table and you two are throwing tension all over the room?"

"Never one to beat around the bush, are you?"

"Never. Go talk to her."

Tessa nodded grimly before getting up slowly. She started towards her sister's room but froze. She turned back towards her aunt and asked, "How did you know?"

"I've never seen you smile so hard and glow so brightly. There's only one reason you could be that happy."

Her niece smiled brightly, taking a moment to ignore the dark clouds hanging over her head to think about the blinding sunshine to follow. She headed down the hallway, pausing outside of her little sister's room. Her hand rose to knock on the door, but she paused when another voice reached her ear. Her mother was in there.

Addison leaned against her youngest daughter's bedroom wall, arms crossed over her chest.

"Madelyn, please talk to me. I know your little head is just zooming with thoughts. Share them."

Her little girl shrugged, wiping away a stray tear. "I'm actively not thinking. In fact I'm trying not to think."

"Okay. Why?"

"Because everything is too much! That was a lot of information to have dumped on me!"

"Information you asked to know." Her mother pointed out. It only made the confused frustration grow.

"Yeah, well… I didn't know what I was asking for."

Addison nodded and felt enough anger diffuse from her daughter for it to be safe for her to take a seat on the bed. "I also believe we told you that as well. I know you feel like we've hidden a major part of our lives from you, and in your eyes we did. But, to us- to Tessa- we were only protecting you from a hurt that she wasn't lucky enough to avoid. She changed so much after she came home. I- I didn't think I would get my sweet girl back. And slowly, she became the Tessa I'd raised, but different. She's still a lot more cautious and cynical. I don't think that will ever change about her."

She stopped, considering if what she planned to say next would truly do more harm than good. "And to be perfectly honest with you, she was absolutely terrified of you."

The little girl looked up, brow furrowed. "Me? Why?"

Throwing her arm around her daughter's shoulder, Addison continued. "Well, it's going to sound silly, but Tess had this thought that she was too damaged to be loved by me and Dad. She was afraid that we would finally see how messed up she was and want another child to replace her. We of course told her that could never happen. And then I found out I was pregnant with you."

Young as she was, Maddie understood perfectly where her mother was going. "She didn't take it very well?"

"Uh, no. She was furious and scared out of her mind. The night we told her she left and moved into Amelia's for two weeks. God, she was so mad at us. It took a really long time for her to trust us and accept that you were coming. It really hurt her."

"You mean _I_ really hurt her." Her blue eyes fell to her folded hands on her lap.

To both of their surprise, a laugh burst out of Addison. Her daughter gazed at her with a mixture of hurt and surprise. The older red head covered her mouth in an attempt to stifle the laughter. "I-I'm sorry, I promise I'm not laughing at you. It's just, that thing you just said about you hurting her sister. It's something she would've said back then. I mean, almost identical. In fact, I think she did say that."

"And that's funny to you because…"

"It's not funny really, it's just- I feel as if I've gone back in time. I feel like I was just having a talk like this with your sister. And no, you did not really hurt her. The idea of another baby scared her. _You_ Madelyn Rose, you she adored."

Maddie suddenly looked terribly torn between believing her mother and the conflicting thoughts still swirling around her mind. "But why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't she tell me sooner? It affects me too."

"Sweetheart, you weren't listening to your sister earlier. She wasn't just trying to protect you; she was trying to protect all of us. You can't fathom how much everything changed. Your sister was gone for four months. Four months I didn't know if- at the time- my only child was alive or dead. I couldn't sleep without dreaming about all of these horrible things happening to her. And then she came home, and life was right again. Not completely. Tessa was in the hospital and scared and so hurt physically and mentally hurt I didn't know if I could ever heal her. She kept all that hurt bottled up inside trying to protect her family and that made everything worse. It took a long time for her to realize we were here for her. My baby was broken and we were all broken, too. You made all of that better. Can you really blame us for not wanting to go through all of that again and seeing how much learning all of this hurt you?"

Her youngest child looked away from her, a look of realization crossing her face. "She was really protecting you and Daddy? She was worried about you, because it was so hard the first time."

"Yes, baby. You see, both of my girls were born with hearts about three sizes too big and you feel everything. Tessa always want to absorb the hurt before anyone else can feel it; it's her way of protecting the people she loves. It's what she's always done with you."

Addison watched closely as her girl absorbed all she said. "Do you have any more questions, baby? I'll answer whatever you want."

"Momma?"

It been a few years since her littlest baby had called her 'Momma' and she'd be lying if she said she didn't miss it. She only wished it was reaching her ears under different circumstances.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"Do you think Tessa thinks I really hate her? I don't. I don't know why I said that."

"Well, baby. I know Tessa loves you more than anyone else on this Earth, and she would lay down her life for you without a second thought to it. I think she knows that you don't mean it. I also think that was a completely awful thing to say to your sister, even if you were upset with her."

Maddie hung her head, shame weighing her down. "I know. I swear I didn't mean it."

The two red heads sighed simultaneously, each for their own reasons. Maddie glanced at her door, as if she knew her sister hung on every word behind it. "Should I apologize?"

"Well, of course you should. But, do you want a few minutes to yourself? So you can think everything over?"

Maddie looked down at her hands. "Yeah, I do. Can I?"

Addison nodded reassuringly. "Absolutely. I'll give you a few minutes. I'll just be downstairs, and if you have any more questions, you can ask me whatever you want."

Tessa heard her mother begin to leave and hurried to hide the fact that she had been listening in. She quickly backed into her own childhood room, pretending to study the pictures hung on the walls. Addison noticed the movement of her oldest daughter, trying her hardest to look nonchalant. "You know, you never were a very good liar. Verbally, at least. And when you're guilty of something, it's blatantly obvious."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh no? So you weren't just listening in on me talking to your sister?"

Her question was met with silence, and Addison chuckled. "I thought so. I don't mind, but I wouldn't let her find out. She's somewhat sensitive about you at the moment."

Tessa crossed her arms over her chest. "I hadn't noticed," She flashed a sideways glance at her mother. "I couldn't really tell how she took it."

The red head nodded as she stepped farther in the room, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "To be honest, I couldn't really tell. I calmed her down, at least. I think this truly is part of our faults. Not because we didn't tell her, but because we've protected her and kept her so sheltered. As much as it made it us feel good, I'm not so sure it was the right thing to do for her. I don't think she fully understands that bad things can happen to anyone."

"She's too sensitive for this world. Her little heart- it feels it all."

Addison nodded. "She does. Come on, give her a few minutes. Let's go back downstairs and join the rest of the awkward party."

Tessa sighed and uncrossed her arms as she followed her mom downstairs. "I'm not really feeling up to a party."

"Hm. Too bad."

Just as her foot landed on the bottom step, Finn whipped out of the kitchen. She automatically grinned when she saw him; she couldn't help it. "Hey."

"Did you talk to her?" Tessa smiled wider as his brogue made the question come out like, _did you talk tae her?_

"No. Mom was in there I figured it was better coming from her."

Her husband gave her a knowing look. "Really?"

"Ugh, fine. I got scared. I could still hear her saying she hated me, and I chickened out. God, I am an awful big sister."

Finn pulled her into his arms, smoothing his palm over the back of her head. "Of course you're not. She loves you to death, she's just confused. She'll come around. I know it," Moving his lips closer to her ear, he whispered, "And I know what you're thinking: that all of this means you'll be a bad mother. That's impossible. You're a wonderful woman, wife, daughter, sister, and it's a no-brainer that you'll be a fantastic mother."

Against his shoulder, a few tears fell on his shirt. "How do you know me so well?"

"Ah, because contrary to popular belief, you are not that complicated of a person."

The brunette pulled away, wiping away the remnants of tears of her cheek. "Shush, don't give away my secrets."

Tessa smirked and cupped her guy's cheeks adoringly. She leaned in close, her forehead almost touching his and whispered, "I think you'll be a pretty fantastic father yourself."

Finn smiled and whispered back, "Oh, well there was never any doubt about that one."

The loud sound of someone clearing their throat pointedly startled the two apart. Derek stood at the entrance of the kitchen, staring at them with his eyebrows furrowed. Tessa rolled her eyes at his expression. "Yes, Dad?"

"Nothing. Just wondered where you two had gotten off to. Dinner will be ready soon."

Derek turned to leave, but his daughter stopped him. "Dad, can I speak with you for a moment?"

Without waiting for him to respond, Tessa moved around her husband and stalked into the living room. She heard him follow her steps after a moment of hesitation. She crossed her arms across her chest as he skulked in, as if he knew what she wanted to talk about.

"Dad, you've got to stop treating Finn and I like were teenagers sneaking around behind your back. We've been married for two years! And despite how you act when he comes around, you like him- I know you do. I know you feel protective of me because I'm your daughter, but he wouldn't hurt me any sooner than you would. Please, try harder to be nice to him. He feels like he's disappointed you with his career choices, and he gets enough of that from his own family."

Derek had the decency to look ashamed as his daughter scolded him. He looked up as she finished sheepishly. "I didn't realize how obvious I was being. I'm the father in law; I'm supposed be tough on him."

The young woman arched in eyebrow in a frightening copy of her mother. "And since when have you ever been one to stick to stereotypes? Look, nobody's going to take your place. I was lucky enough to get a wonderful dad, and you'll always have a special place in my heart. But Finn has a special place in my heart too, and I hate to see the most important guys in my life fighting. I love him, and I love you. Both of you need to respect that. Finn does. Can you?"

"Yes, of course. And I'm sorry I didn't sooner. I really do like him, and I can see how much he truly loves you. It just feels so weird for me to see you have a life with someone else. It's so strange sometimes. I feel like you're just a visitor in the home you grew up in."

Tessa nodded in agreement. "I feel that too. It's just life, Dad. I may have grown up here, but it's not my home anymore."

"What is?"

His daughter smiled as she glanced at the Gaelic styled wedding Finn had slipped on her finger almost three years ago. The brilliant green emerald caught the light from between two smaller diamonds. "As cheesy as it sounds, wherever Finn is. But, much to both you and Mom's relief, we've found an apartment here in Seattle. We've already moved in. It's home base now. We'll still go off every now and then, but now we have our own place to come home to."

Her father's face spread in an overjoyed grin. "That's great! We've wanted you guys to do it for years! What changed your mind?"

Trying not give away her big secret, Tessa shrugged nonchalantly. "Oh, we just realized how impractical we were being. It was just time."

Pulling her into a hug, Derek chuckled softly. "That's great. I'm so proud of the person you are, Tess. You are more than I could ever have hoped for in a daughter."

Feeling her heart warm with his praise, Tessa tightened her arms around her father. "Thank you. I've always tried to make you and Mom proud."

The sound of someone shuffling down the stairs caught their attention. Maddie stood there, cheeks red and eye puffy. She eyed her father and sister warily, as if she expected them to start screaming at her. Derek released his oldest and took a few steps toward the little red head.

"Hey Mads. How are you feeling?" His voice was soft and careful, just as his approach.

His preteen finished the last remaining steps on the stairs, arms crossed defensively. "I'm fine."

"Okay…" Derek glanced sideways at Tessa before clapping his hands together. "I'm just going to see if they need anymore help in the kitchen."

Before either of his daughters could argue, he'd fled the room. Tessa glared daggers at his retreating figure. _Coward,_ she thought bitterly. She looked back at her sister, still standing awkwardly by the banister. Maddie was looking everywhere but her, but she hadn't left. She was waiting for something.

Tessa cleared her throat awkwardly. "Can we- can we talk?"

Maddie shrugged, but moved to the couch. Tessa sat across from her, crossing her legs. "Look, I know a lot of really heavy stuff was dropped on you today, and you probably feel like we've- like I've been lying to you. Maybe I have. But it's not something I regret. I'm sorry it hurt you; I figured it would and I didn't want it to. Just don't let what you know now change how you see me."

The girl looked up at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I just want you to still see me as your big sister. That's all I am. Maybe you're still too new to what you've learned to really know what happened. I guess as it sinks in, it'll hit you. Maybe you'll search my name. There's tons of stuff online. That's why I never got any social media besides Snapchat. Maybe you'll find the box of stuff Mom has under her bed and see what it says. Just remember, I'm only your big sister."

Maddie was quiet for a moment, her little eyebrows drawn together in a way Tessa found absolutely adorable. Then she asked, "Are you giving me permission to look into it? After twelve years of hiding it?"

"Okay, first of all, do you think I would've honestly told you when you were any younger? You're acting as if you are much older than you truly are. We're getting off topic here. If you really want to, yes. You can look into my kidnapping."

Maddie finally looked her in the eye. "I'm sorry," She murmured. "I didn't mean to say that I hated you. I don't. I love you."

"I love you, too. Maddie, that was a really, really long time ago. Our family went through the ringer, and I'd do anything to take that time back. Anything to take back the pain I caused everyone. Just- if you have any questions when you start digging, ask me. Don't ask Mom or Dad or Amelia. Let them try to forget."

"What about you?"

"Hmm?"

Tessa rubbed her hands together and Maddie got up to sit next to her. "Why can't you forget?"

With a sigh Tessa answered, "Because it's more of my past than it is theirs. I mean, I know they went through their own personal hell and suffered too, but it was different- very different. I still have nightmares. Sometimes I hear a door slam and my heart races and I can't breathe. Finn's been so good about it. He doesn't say a word, just makes sure I'm okay. There are just some things I'll never forget."

Taking the chance and wrapping her arm around Maddie's shoulder, she continued. "But not all of them are bad. I remember reading you stories my senior year and holding you in one arm and my diploma in the other. I remember coming home from school only for you to take your first steps toward me. I remember the first day you started school and cried because you didn't know that Mom couldn't go with you. All of my good memories from when I was younger are from you. You made it all better."

Maddie nodded. "I know. Mom told me."

Tessa quirked a brow. "Oh did she? Well, she was totally right."

The red head cuddled closer to her side. "Tessa, I'm so sorry. For everything. I'm sorry that I made you tell me, sorry that it upset you and Mom and Dad. And I'm sorry I said I hated you. I could never hate you."

Tessa threw her other arm around her sister, squeezing to her chest tightly. "Good. I don't know what you would do, because I love you so much nothing would change. I'd do this every time I see you and you'd just growl."

"I would not!"

"Yeah you would. You do now. It's okay. It's just part of being a teenager. I still do it, if that makes you feel better."

Maddie chuckled softly. "Sure. Is everything okay now?"

Tucking her finger under her sister's chin, Tessa made Maddie look her in the eye. "Everything's always okay with us. C'mon, I think dinner's ready."

Tessa was right; the rest of the party had already gathered in the dining room. Everyone was searching for the little Santa with their name printed on it, courtesy of Maddie. Derek sat at the head of the table, Tessa on his left and Addison on his right. Maddie sat next to her mother while Finn parked himself next to his wife. Still decked out in her apron, Addison came sweeping in, a large bird in her hands. She set it down on the table with a proud, "Ta da!"

Her family clapped as she disappeared only to reemerge, a bottle of red wine in her hands. Several glasses shot out, each eager to be filled. Tessa sipped the water Finn had brought to the table, even as her mother reached for her glass. Her hand shot out, stopping her. "I'm good, Mom. Thank you."

The red head quirked a brow. "But this is your favorite. I picked it up just for you."

Tessa smiled. "I know. And thank you, but I just don't feel like drinking today."

With narrowed eyes, Addison turned and placed the wine on the kitchen counter. She moved to join her family again, remembering at the last moment to remove her apron. Her family was quiet as they waited her return. Maddie flashed her a small smile as she sat down. Addison bent down slightly and whispered into matching red hair, "Are you okay?"

Her daughter nodded before reaching for the bowl of green beans. "Yeah. I'm okay."

The gentle tapping on a wine glass caught her attention. Derek was standing, glass raised. "I'd like to make a toast to my wonderful wife, Addie, for arranging this delicious looking meal. I'd also like to thank her for putting up with me for 28 years. I don't know I ever lived without you, Ads. You're my soul mate, and I love you. Merry Christmas."

The table collectively raised their glasses and toasted Addison's name as she blushed and ducked her head. "Thank you, Der. I love you too. Thank you for giving me my beautiful girls and the people sitting around this table. Okay, everyone. Dig in! And Tessa, before you say a word about my cooking, Amelia, Arizona, and Callie helped me. I was supervised."

Tessa held her hands up innocently. "I didn't say anything, not even when I was in the kitchen earlier!"

"Fair warning."

Soon, the room was filled with the sound of laughter, talking, and plate scraping. Tessa smiled at her family absently, her mind drifting to the extra high chair that would be next to her next year. It was a thought that made excitement fizz inside her. She was having a baby; by June, she would be a mother. She was making Derek and Addison grandparents, Maddie an aunt, and Finn a dad. And she couldn't wait any longer to tell them.

Tessa sat there, barely picking at her food until everyone else was asking for dessert. She saw her opportunity and she was taking it. Leaning into her husband, she whispered, "I think it's time for another toast."

Clearing her throat as she got to her feet, Tessa raised her water glass. "I just wanted to thank everyone here for allowing me to be a part of this family. It's a weird one, most definitely, with all these different people coming together in the strangest ways. That being said, I wouldn't want it any other way. I was lucky to grow up with it, Maddie was lucky enough to be born into it, and I'm extremely thankful that my child will be able to grow up in it," She looked towards her parents, small smile playing on her lips. "So, Merry Christmas, Grandma and Grandpa!" With that, she lifted her glass and took a delicate sip.

Addison and Derek automatically lifted their glasses and downed the contents. It wasn't until the glasses were set back down on the table they registered her words. Then, the toast sunk in. Addison looked at her daughter, then to her husband. When Meredith leapt from her seat and pulled Tessa into her arms, the tears started falling down her cheeks.

"Oh, Tess! Is it true?"

"No, I'm just calling you old," Her daughter smirked from Meredith's arms. "Yes, it's true. I'm thirteen weeks, so I'm due in June."

Congratulations echoed from around the room, and even Ollie clapped happily at all the noise around him. Addison yanked her husband to his feet and pulled their oldest daughter into their arms. Tessa locked her arms around them tightly, tears shining in her eyes. "Are you happy?"

With her head pressed against her dad's chest, Tessa looked up at her mother expectantly. Choking back a half sob half laugh, Addison reached out and cupped her grown daughter's cheek. "Oh baby, I couldn't possibly be happier."

Thinking back on the last eight years, Tessa realized she agreed wholeheartedly. She had a wonderful family, a sweet husband, and now her very own baby. "Me too."

* * *

 **So, that's a wrap! 16 months and 35 chapters later, Maybe she Wouldn't be Gone has reached an end. Thank you so much for following along, for reviewing, and mostly for liking Tessa and her story as much as I did. I honestly wouldn't have reached this point without you guys reading. I am planning on starting a new Derek and Addison story soon, but i can't promise how soon it will be up. I doubt that it will take too long; I have trouble staying away from them! Thank you so much!**


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